Andy's Doctor Who fiction site - http://consequencesmultidoc.blogspot.com/
Starbust webzine where his reviews can be found - http://www.starburstmagazine.com/
JF: Evelyn makes an instant impression, refusing to continue her lecture whilst the Doctor makes a racket in the back row! She’s going to be a force to be reckoned with!
The Doctor declares that Evelyn is the focus of the Nexus point and she thinks he is round the twist!
JF: It’s a nice way to introduce us to a companion, to make her the centre of the story. I just hope she doesn’t slip into the background after this story ala Turlough.
Evelyn rests in her digs, singing classical musical and knitting when the Doctor turns up again desperate to make her understand how important she is in his investigations.
JF: Great domestic scenes, exactly the sort of thing the sixth Doctor’s era on TV was lacking.
The phone rings and a student thanks Evelyn for her chocolate cake!
JF: She makes chocolate cake? Evelyn are you single?
Accusing Evelyn of making up her historical facts she pulls a record from her computer and the text starts to vanish! History is changing before their very eyes!
JF: Very Back to the Future! It lays down the basics very nicely.
Evelyn packs her bag to leave with the Doctor…
AW: ‘Cocoa?’
JF: Packing a bag to leave with the Doctor, has anybody else ever done that?
AW: Not before but Donna since!
…and walks into the TARDIS nonplussed!
AW: She doesn’t think he’s mad, she just accepts everything!
JF: She’s a university lecturer – she’s seen everything!
Finally somebody who wont be brow beaten by the Doctor!
JF: Its laugh out loud when the Doctor can’t get a word in edgeways! Finally somebody who will talk over the bombastic sixth Doctor!
AW: Who’d have thought the sixth Doctor lost for words? Love Evelyn’s reaction to the TARDIS: ‘I thought they’d be more computer banks!’
Evelyn suffers another attack, almost vanishing from time completely!
JF: The fading in and out sound effects are really good, sounding as though Evelyn is being stretched out of existence and back again! ‘Who won?’ ‘The yard of ale definitely!’ Hahaha!
So the Doctor makes a gadget that will stabilise her for the time being.
AW: The Doctor knocking up a gadget in no time! Great stuff!
She’s not going to hang about in the TARDIS whilst the Doctor has all the fun!
JF: Evelyn, a commoner! How dare he! Imagine being a historian and being able to explore history?
AW: And where does she head…the pub!
JF: Perhaps she should have paired up with Tom Baker!
AW: A very messy story that would have made!
Evelyn sums up London beautifully…
JF: ‘London is grotty!’
AW: Hmm, what could go wrong?
JF: ‘What could possibly go wrong?’ – why do people ask that?
Evelyn walks into a country pub and chats with the locals.
AW: Kiss of death! Is that Gary Russell as the innkeeper? He’s quite good!
JF: He often turns up in cameos, his voice is quite distinctive.
AW: He seems too familiar too often! He seems to fit quite well here.
JF: Evelyn boozing with her students! I wish I’d had a lecturer like her!
AW: She ingratiates herself well.
JF: Nice bit of background chatter in the pub scene.
AW: A different time but no problem fitting in to a familiar setting.
The Doctor announces that he has arrived to see the Queen…
JF: ‘I’m the Doctor and I’ve come to see the Queen!’ Don’t say that at a Doctor Who convention!
…and Evelyn raises her glass and toasts to Queen Elizabeth!
AW: Haha! Uh-oh her first faux pas! And a big fat one at that.
The Doctor has taken her back to the time of Queen Mary!
JF: Trust the Doctor to turn up at the wrong time!
AW: It’s a nice touch when you are more used to him getting it right more often than not. Oh Evelyn this doesn’t look good! ‘Death to traitors!’
JF: ‘Death to traitors!’ – nice cliffhanger
AW: Nice ending
Episode two and we left Evelyn in danger of being lynched after namedropping the wrong Queen…
JF: Diddly dum Diddly dum
AW: And we’re off!
JF: How will Evelyn get out of this one?
AW: Ooh nasty threats!
JF: Mouthy cow!
AW: ‘How dare you!’ Brilliant!
Evelyn manages to talk her way out of danger and fortunately she has fallen in with a bunch of Protestants…
JF: Doctor Who once again introducing the audience to some very interesting history
AW: Phew what luck they side with Evelyn. Even though she made an error that was ultimately the Doctor’s fault!
The Doctor talks with the Queen…
JF: Colin Baker is so softie in these scenes. It’s very refreshing
AW: Very gentle side to his character
JF: It’s almost as charming as we have ever seen any Doctor
In walks Reverend Thomas who takes an instant dislike to Evelyn
JF: That’s Nick Pegg! He has such a distinctive voice. I don’t know if he has the gravity to play the Reverend. He was much more convincing as the wimpy ships captain I n pirates.
AW: Evelyn’s very good at convincing them of her good nature
JF: The Doctor seems to be quite good at playing politics
AW: I think this incarnation seems particularly convincing at doing so! Pertwee would have too…he was always doing it! The Doctor sets his stall out there. Its interesting that Mary still tolerates him. He really does seem to be doing her some good. Yet he can’t meddle with history! Such a lovely hark back to the Hartnell historicals.
JF: Evelyn is marvellously imperialistic
AW: I love that Evelyn really holds her own!
JF: Evelyn really stands up for herself! ‘If I wanted to listen to female babbling I would return home to my wife!’ haha!
Enter Francois DeNois, French Ambassador…
AW: Barnaby Edwards! Just the right side of Sir Giles Estram!
JF: If only he could say ‘You insult ze Queen!’
AW: The Doctor’s taking his role very seriously and without questions. How many times can the word majesty be said in two minutes?
JF: I really like how the Doctor doesn’t condemn Mary, its as though he knows what will happen but will not judge.
AW: He’s taking the moral high ground. He knows Mary’s opinion is unjust but doesn’t push the issue.
Evelyn lets slip that Mary isn’t pregnant and starts a long chain of events…
AW: Uh-oh Evelyn you shouldn’t be saying that!
JF: Oh no Evelyn! Faux-pas number two! For a historian she is breaking all the rules!
AW: She’s a maverick she doesn’t play by the rules! The Doctor just stops himself saying companion there!
The Doctor describes Evelyn to Sarah.
JF: The Doctor says Evelyn has grey hair but on every cover she features on it is dark! She must take advantage of the TARDIS hair dye!
AW: ‘Just for time travellers’ haha!
JF: She should take advantage of the TARDIS fountain of youth that makes Ace act 19 but sound 40 plus!
Evelyn strikes out at Thomas for accusing her of being a spy…
AW: She admonishes the reverend just as she would a student!
JF: I love Evelyn making the cocoa for everybody. It seems like a throwaway scene but beautifully introduces the aspirin i.e. poison.
AW: Very clever. Jac Rayner’s plotting is a thing of genius
JF: She makes it look effortless! I agree with George, cocoa’s horrid!
AW: ‘It’s a children’s drink!’
JF: Evelyn has pulled a younger man…cradle snatcher!
Sarah reveals her dislike for the Spaniards…
JF: Wow Sarah is shockingly racist!
AW: Xenophobia is rife in the court of Queen Mary!
JF: Ooh a nice crackling fire (sorry random observation!)
Evelyn gets a message that the Doctor is in trouble…
AW: Evelyn rushing off to help the Doctor even though she barely knows him gives us a good indicator that’s she’s companion material
JF: Its written all over the script in red marker! If this were on the telly she would have a neon sign over her head!
DeNois and Reverend Thomas are in cahoots…
AW: Oh no! Plotting against our hero! ‘Is he your sweetheart or anything?’
Evelyn almost vanishes from time completely!
AW: Oh no! Great sound effect there!
JF: Maybe she wont be a companion after all!
JF: Diddly giggly dum!
AW: Wooo oooo ooooo
JF: Hahaha! This really was a good cliffhanger, really puts Evelyn in peril and built up from the beginning of the story, not just a random moment of danger
AW: No! Poor Evelyn!
Thomas wants to implement Evelyn by suggesting she has taken poison into the court of Queen Mary!
JF: Primitive Marian clergy! Thinking Paracetamol is poison!
AW: A cunning plan though. Trouble is Evelyn's not around to implement it for them!
But she’s left her handbag behind with the Paracetamol inside!
JF: Fancy a woman leaving her handbag behind!
AW: No woman I know would do that!
JF: Especially with chocolate in it!
The Doctor discusses the Queen with Sarah…
JF: 'A remarkable woman' - Queen Mary!
AW: Lovely bit of historical fact there, more background.
Mary wants to find the Doctor somebody to share his life with!
AW: Uh-oh, the Doctor needs a wife!
JF: Again this is some nice foreshadowing, talking about marriage and lovers separated by religion. Imagine being married to the sixth Doctor - every time you rowed he would suck you out... into the time vortex! Haha wondered where that sentence was going to end didn’t you!
AW: Hahaha! He's being such a bystander here. He doesn't even WANT to get involved!
JF: Being burnt at the stake...a truly horrific death indeed! Interesting that our choice of book for this issue...The Witch Hunters...has exactly the same theme! Nothing changed over time from Salem to the court of Queen Mary…
AW: Very true.
The Doctor admits to Sarah that he is far from perfect…
JF: The Doctor's speech about the mistakes he has made is astonishing, its one of the best ever species, beautifully performed
speeches!
AW: Musing on his actions. Very inward looking and judgemental of his own actions.
JF: Almost seventh Doctor-esque! 'May God have mercy on your soul...' great comeback from Sarah
AW: That’s true
Evelyn is having trouble existing…
AW: Evelyn's back!
JF: and gone again...
AW: And back! I think William's got a thing for the older lady!
Finally the Doctor and Evelyn are reunited…
JF: Stables and Baker have excellent chemistry
AW: She got there rather quickly!
JF: Mocking the TARDIS!
AW: Haha! Defensive of the TARDIS! The Doctor never changes!
JF: Ooh handbags at dawn Doctor!
AW: FIIIIIIGHT! A sppppppppyyyy!
JF: Isn’t Evelyn Smythe a great name for a companion!
AW: It really is!
De Nois bursts in and accuses Evelyn of trying to kill the Queen!
AW: Sir Giles is back!
JF: 'You insult and try to kill ze Queen!'
AW: It is pretty much that!
The Doctor can think many reasons why Evelyn might carry poison…
AW: Seventeen! How random! Love it!
JF: He is no agent of Lucifer!
Evelyn is bashful about the contents of her handbag…
JF: Marks and Spencer’s finest…is Evelyn flashing her undies?
AW: The first knicker flashing since Jo Grant!
Everyone is getting merry on drugs!
JF: Uh-oh introducing Paracetamol hundreds of years too early!
AW: It's great that the plan fails and the Doctor is believed for once! The Doctor has nothing to lose by letting the queen take them -history will still follow its course.
JF: I think Kalid might be behind all this. But then I think Kalid is behind everything!
DeNois objects, as usual…
AW: "You stooopid woman!" It's like 'Allo 'Allo. He didn't say that, but he may as well have!
JF: 'Rene! What are you doing with your arms around that servant girl?' 'You stupid woman...can you not see that I am trying to stop an assassination of Queen Mary?'
Who's ever felt that good after Paracetamol?
Uh-oh…Mary is pushing ahead with the Doctor’s wedding!
AW: The Doctor is really understated here - it's brilliant!
JF: The second woman in this story that has managed to talk over the boisterous sixth Doctor!
AW: Who will be Mrs Who? The Spaniard-hating servant?
JF: That’s the spin off show...Mrs Who
AW: Will it be as good as Mrs Columbo?
JF: That was Kate Mulgrew! Captain Janeway herself!
Evelyn has put her foot in it again…
AW: Oh Evelyn! She's as bad as the Meddling Monk! Albeit accidentally!
JF: 'I told him the Queen wasn't pregnant!' - how mistakes can this woman make in her first story! You better shape up Evelyn!
AW: She's racking them up! A bomb! From 'Allo 'Allo to Clouseau! Nice music then - very Paddy Kingsland!
JF: Everybody is out to kill the Queen! I better hide!
AW: Quick behind that lecturer!
JF: (Swallows drink) Oh no! You're working with them Weston!
DeNois turns his back on Reverend Thomas now he might be exposed as a traitor.
There's nothing at all redeemable about De Nois is there? What an insult -'You catholic!’
AW: "I should never have trusted you!" She's a looker!
Evelyn is suddenly under the impression that the Doctor is her great (times 11) Grandfather!
JF: How funny is Evelyn's insane theory about the Doctor being her ancestor!
AW: Love that! "You're my ancestor!"
Her jubilant theory is somewhat spoilt by the fact that it means he will die!
AW: Oh bum!
AW: Diddly dum
JF: woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
AW: The Doctor's going to die! And he's a heretic! The one true God! It's BSG! Is Evelyn a Cylon?
JF: She was the head Cylon...
Nice historical music…
AW: Loving this score! Who is it for this one?
JF: Alistair Lock, he's fantastic, his scores are very filmic. His score for Fires of Vulcan is one of my favourites.
AW: They are that, and they do seem to mimic 80s Who in the best way.
Evelyn and the Doctor are taken to the Tower of London and least one of them is delighted!
JF: Imagine if Tegan had been locked up in the Tower of London? It would Moan Central! Evelyn’s loving it!
AW: They'd let Tegan out to get some peace!
The Doctor lays down the rules about interfering in history.
JF: Evelyn is learning the responsibility of time travel...I think she needs it after her cock ups in this story!
AW: She's a companion now! The Doctor just admitted as much!
JF: They're having another domestic! They really sound like an old married couple
Apparently the Doctor is a principled man…
AW: Hahaha! "Violence is never the answer!" Though cyanide's ok is it?
JF: and laser (Vengeance on Varos)…
AW: He's changed!
JF: and acid (Mestor)...and acid again (Vengeance)…and laser again (the Borad)!!
The Doctor and Evelyn try and figure a way out of their cell and who is behind the assassination of Queen Mary…
JF: They’re working together very well, lots of good logical thinking and the music’s great here.
AW: I like that they're thinking about it very cleverly.
Evelyn does the ‘guard I’m really ill’ escape routine…
JF: Oh I love this bit...Evelyn’s orgasmic groaning! If you ever wanted to know what it would be like to take Evelyn to the peak of ecstasy listen to this scene!
AW: Oh that's very wrong!
JF: Not to William Leaf!
Evelyn wallops the guard over the head!
AW: Whack!
AW: Officer Crabtree's back!
The Doctor takes the piss out of Evelyn jumping ashore on the Thames and then falls in himself!
JF: I love how this story isn’t afraid to make the Doctor a bit fun and silly...'A bit inelegant...splash!'
AW: Oh Doctor! Right in the water! Reminds me of Castrovalva!
JF: Do you think he did a Nyssa style screwing up of his face?
AW: I hope so! I like to imagine he did. I did one then - my tea's too milky!
JF: Haha!
Turns out it was Sarah who was to administer the poison all along…
AW: Oooh, a nice revelation there.
JF: Sarah the racist assassin!
AW: She's wrong 'un and no mistake!
Mary is not amused…
JF: 'You wicked child how dare you!' - Mary is beautifully performed
AW: "You will burn for this!" Brutal.
The Doctor tries to make Mary understand why Sarah has acted as she has.
JF: The Doctor's being all charming again; he could talk the hind legs of a donkey.
Stop blubbering girl! Take her to the nearest stake!
Jail will do for her since she is carrying child…
AW: Prison, that's not so bad. Better than a burning anyhow.
JF: Setting up Sarah as Elizabeth's nursemaid just as Evelyn said in the first episode...it all slots together nicely
AW: That Jac Rayner's a smart one! The French Ambassador eh? I hope he had Ferrero Roche.
JF: It will be spoiling us!
The events are slotting into place exactly how they should…
AW: Love how history alters around them.
JF: This story would work very well as a piece of theatre don’t you think?
AW: I think it's very theatrical and it'd look gorgeous. The Doctor's memories are changing.
Evelyn wants to save her friends but the Doctor has other ideas so she has to take measures into her own hands and pretend she is still poorly…
JF: Oh Evelyn you old rogue...faking her symptoms to save Leaf and crow!
AW: After all she's done already!
Thomas is exposed as a Protestant and is to be burnt at the stake for heresy.
AW: Burn him!
JF: She's furious...its great drama. And I love how Thomas supports his faith and would rather burn than alter his beliefs
AW: That's dedication to your faith!
JF: 'You will burn for this!' Don't get her mad!
The Doctor agrees to take Crow and Leaf away until Elizabeth comes to the throne.
William Leaf is Jeremy James isn't it? Josh from the Sarah Jane Smith audios!
AW: "An angel in a cardigan?" Great line!
JF: Like Donna, Evelyn is good for the Doctor's conscience
AW: Fly TARDIS! The only way to travel time and space!
JF: A nice happy ending for everyone accept Nick Pegg! Stroppy old Mary!
The Doctor muses that he can understand how Mary is feeling…
AW: The Doctor sees the good in everyone!
JF: 'An idealist and a fanatic...' I love how the story paints a rounded picture rather than just condemning her.
Evelyn has decided that she will be travelling with the Doctor!
JF: Invite yourself along Evelyn, why don’t you?
AW: Welcome aboard!
JF: She's just found out about her heart hasn't she? This is her last gasp of adventure before it gives out... It does make sense once you find out about it. The Doctor has his head turned by a slice of chocolate cake!
AW: I know! Haha!
And what did we think…?
AW: Great story! Can't wait for the next one! Nice to have a pure historical too.
JF: A superb pure historical and there isn't enough of those, well researched but entertaining and with some really dramatic dialogue
AW: Colin Baker and Maggie Stables make a great team!
JF: Evelyn did make a few mistakes but she was very engaging and real...I love the stuff about knitting, chocolate and knickers! Maggie Stables starts off well and just gets better and better.
AW: Such great chemistry. It's fun and unusual having an older companion on board.
The Spectre of Lanyon Moor
AW: Still the Tom Baker theme tune!
JF: Evelyn's first story as a new companion, lets see how she fares.
An alien craft and two rather strange sounding aliens are having problems with take off...
AW: Ooh, a spaceship!
JF: Listen to that wind, sounds like Eastbourne!
Added to their woes are...
AW: Wolves!
JF: Is that voice a little too...comical?
AW: I think it is a little!
JF: Is it supposed to be scary?
AW: It doesn't scare me!
One of them is attacked! The other flees in their ship.
AW: Oops!
"It's only a flesh wound!"
JF: The wolves, the wind...its quite atmopheric, this is Nick Pegg directing isn't it? He's always quite good.
AW: Lovely soundscape, apart from the comedy aliens!
JF: This music is awesome, very filmic, it feels like it belongs at the beginning of an epic film. Yeah shame about the voice
AW: So, he's stuck there. Hmmm....wonder if we'll see him again..?
A familiar wheezing-groaning sound alerts us to the presence of...
JF: The TARDIS! And chickens!
AW: Has the Doctor got a cold? Oh, he has!
JF: Definitely isn't the Galapagos Islands...yet!
AW: I bet that cold line was handily written in!
Our heroes are in Cornwell, where they meet Mrs Moynihan – an extraordinarily posh woman - who is out walking her dogs.
JF: A lovely setting, again the sort of thing Colin Baker missed out on on TV
AW: It sounds like they've been travelling together for a while.
JF: I didn't even notice he had a cold!
AW: Ears open lad!
JF: 'Going to see the fogouuuu!? She's as posh as posh can be!
AW: She's like Penelope Keith posh!
JF: 'Nothing like a jolly old yomp!' Evelyn you filthy beast! The Doctor and Evelyn compliment each other very well, both learned...
They are indeed off to see the fogou (a Celtic underground passage unique to Cornwall, as the Doctor informs us).
AW: Im glad the Doctor explained that - I had no idea!
JF: What have you never been to a Fogou?
AW: No, I live a sheltered life!
JF: I'm a Fogou expert you know!
Professor Morgan and his student Ludgate are looking over their relics.
AW: Is that Toby Longworth?
JF: Poor Ludgate stuck with a Luddite for a boss!
AW: The Brigadier? Can it be...?
JF: surely not...with colin baker?
Meanwhile in the fogou, the Doctor is explaining the past of the place.
Again we're getting a lot of history, I wonder if this will be a theme with this pair?
AW: Another history lesson - no bad thing, but it's another echo of the Hartnell era!
JF: Its nice to have two intelligent people in the TARDIS again, unlike JNT I don't mind it if it gets a bit too smart...Oh yes, Cornish caves! The Smugglers!
A familiar figure is talking with the Professor...
JF: The Brig! Squuueeee!
AW: Nicholas Courtney!
JF: Sorting out boxes? What have you come to Brigadier?
AW: It's a short hop from maths teaching.
Meanwhile in the fogou...
JF: The Doctor and Evelyn are still arsing about in the fogou! But this moment is very important later on...(wink wink)
AW: If only it was signposted somehow....
JF: Sorry I'm spoiling it...did you know that Kevin Spacey Is Kaiser Soze? This material is all very nice but its hardly gripping is it?
The Doctor and Evelyn are beckoned out of the fogou by Ludgate, who warns them that the place is dangerous...
AW: Ah, Lanyon Moor. I believe there's a spectre around here somewhere!
JF: The spectre of Lanyon Moor...that's the rumour!
AW: There really isn't much happening! All talk! Thataway? Does anyone really say that?
JF: My mate Ella does. She also says Filem and Wed-nes-day.
There’s some talk about the fogou and coffee, some of it with guest star James Bolam...sorry...Sir Archibald Flint...
JF: Squabbling over coffee now that’s something I can get passionate about! No set pieces...JNT would never have accepted this script!
AW: Now there's a Likely Lad...
JF: Ho ho
AW: He would have accepted one of those.
There’s some more talk, mostly historical background about the fogou.
AW: I've learnt a great deal about fogous. Not much else though.
JF: Evelyn's “a rather handsome lady!” The old rogue!
Now, what we’ve been waiting for. The Brigadier meets the Doctor...
AW: The meeting between the Brig and the Doctor is a bit underwhelming.
JF: This is lovely, it’s about time Sixie and the Brig met up, it’s such a shame that they didn't on TV.
And then there’s some more talk about...
JF: More fogous! Feck the fogous!
AW: Who's this 'tiny Grant'?
JF: Everybody is so nice to each other, where's the tension?
AW: Nothing 'terribly interesting'. Describes the plot so far.
JF: Unless you're a fogou fan!
AW: I think even they'd be twiddling their thumbs a bit by now!
JF: 'Molected bonded disilon?' Good Grief!
And some more...
AW: Talk, talk, talk - something HAPPEN!
JF: I remember this story being a bit creepier than this! Maybe it gets creepier later. Oh here comes the coffee!
AW: Coffee, chat...
JF: Two of my favourite things!
AW: It's like an episode of Loose Women!
JF: I'll be Lynda Bellingham: 'Men! Aren't they scum?' Mrs Moynihan is off to Greece...what was the point of her then?
AW: Is there any point to this? This really could have done with an edit!
JF: 'To be honest she's a bit of a sad case...' I have friends like that who wait until you've got your back turned and out comes the poison...A script trim.
AW: They've been in this place for ages now! Is there a subplot looming?
JF: This track is 12 minutes long!
The Brigadier reveals details of a strange event from the past...
AW: Ooh, a mystery....
JF: And some creepy music...we haven't had any music for ages!
AW: Oooh a breakdown....in the fogou!
JF: The Brig's staying at the pub...obviously!
The Doctor asks Evelyn to find out what she can about the history of the area.
AW: Evelyn gets to do some research! She loves her history!
JF: Looks like we're heading outside...AT LAST
You’d think that but...suddenly we’re at Sir Archibald’s!
AW: Oh, there was no outside! We're in another house!
JF: More talk...Discussing architecture.
Sir Archibald need to have a ‘lie down’...
JF: He's having an afternoon snoozette, just like I do!
AW: Dust! Has that accumulated during the course of this story?
JF: Where's he gone?
AW: Anywhere else! He was bored of all the talking.
Evelyn continues her research.
JF: Evelyn goes 'history history history...' I wonder if her speciality is history?
The Doctor and the Brigadier are...having a chat.
AW: A change of scene! Oh, more talk.
JF: I love it when Colin Baker quotes
AW: A bit of Christina Rossetti! Most exciting thing all episode!
JF: Off to the fogou!
Evelyn’s about to make a bad choice now it seems...
JF: Don't go out onto the moor Evelyn! The Spectre!
AW: Hmmm, I wonder what she will do....Are we going outside? Really this time?
JF: We still have no idea what that spaceship was all about at the beginning!
Are we outside?
JF: Nope!
But something interesting is happening, with Sir Archibald talking to an unknown other person...
AW: Who's he talking to? An experiment? I'm mildly intrigued!
JF: I knew Archie was a bad one...nobody is that nice without dressing up in girlie clothes and whipping the houseboy when the curtains are closed!
Then all of a sudden we’re back with Evelyn and...
AW: Ooh! Outside at last!
...she meets a young lady called Nikki...
JF: Hikers haven't got a good track record in Doctor Who...
AW: Don't go near that stone! Or that Priory!
...tension builds and we get...
AW: Exciting noises! Action at last!
JF: Who's that giggling in the dark?
AW: Is it a pixie?
JF: Rising music...this is more like it! Nikki!
AW: It's like ‘The Five Doctors’ music before the triangle gets them! God, that was....talky.
JF: It was wasn't it? I don't remember this story being that slow...it must kick into gear later on.
And now, episode 2...
AW: How ironic that it's the Tom Baker theme when this was one he was offered!
JF: And he turned down The Stones of Venice! Blasphemer!
AW: It's that Five Doctors triangle noise again!
That imp sure is hungry...
JF: Ugh it really sounds like he is having a good feast on Nikki! Philip to the rescue!
AW: Only half-eaten.
JF: To be fair I think we would faint if we saw someone eaten in front of us.
AW: That goblin wasn't doing much gobblin'.
JF: Ugh your puns get worse perrier!
Back with the Brig and the Doctor.
AW: "Bless my soul!"
JF: 'its metal!'
AW: Is the Brig really surprised by alien tech?
JF: Do the church bells and cockerel indicate morning?
AW: I'm guessing that's the subtle clue.
JF: Hahah!
What’ll make you feel better after seeing someone eaten in front of you?
AW: Hot chocolate! More cocoa for Evelyn!
JF: That Philip is far too nice...he must be dodgy.
Something sounds good!
JF: This music is excellent, really creepy. Evelyn is quite a good storyteller, practising for her companion chronicle.
AW: The Doctor seems very different with a cold - it's quite distracting!
Oh no, did they really mention...
AW : Aaaah! The fogou!
It seems like Philip might like the older lady too!
JF: It’s probably been a while since anything launched itself at Evelyn!
AW: What about that chap in the last story? He would have done given the chance!
JF: Dirty mare.
What was that they said?
JF: The fogey hole! Isn't that Eastbourne?
More talk of things past...
AW: Civil War stories - here's hoping more Nightshade memories than The Awakening!
JF: This reading reminds me of Curse of Fenric but with lots of good music.
AW: It's very talky again so far.
JF: Don’t forget the music
AW: Yak with music. "Listen to this..." Do something!
JF: It does rather seem to be more interested in the past than the present.
AW: What kind of Who story is this? Only 1 person's died!
JF: Did Mrs Moynihan say goodbye? I miss her. Hope she's having fun in Athens.
What’s that they’re talking about now? Oh it’s...
AW: More history. Sigh.
JF: 'Tell on...'
AW: "Oh for pity's sake..." Just what I was thinking!
JF: This wouldn't hold water today would it? The Big Finish haters would drive this into the ground!
The Doctor gets worked up about...something. Answers on a postcard as to what it might have been.
JF: Calm down Doc!
AW: I love Big Finish, but this is trying my patience...
JF: Nobody is to go into the Fogou! Thank Goodness!
AW: I hope the rest of the episodes have more happening.
JF: Evelyn is very good as the Doctor's conscience, if Peri had said all that about apologising he would have started strangling her again!
AW: "Arrogant? No, I don't think so." Good old Brig.
JF: What a suck up the Doctor is! 'NogoFogou!'
AW: "No go fogou!" Good grief!
JF: haahahah!
AW: More hot chocolate!
Philip certain seems keen on the older lady.
JF: I think Philip might want to cuddle up next to Evelyn...
AW: She's certainly attracting the younger fellas!
JF: Lets keep track of all of her boyfriends...William Leaf, Philip Ludgate...
Evelyn says she’s going to break back into the manor to find out more. This doesn’t bode well...
JF: Uh oh Evelyn's not going to go off investigating is she?
AW: "Have a poke around." Ooh er! Please do something!
JF: I bet it will just wind up being more cocoa and book reading...
AW: God I hope not!
...and almost as it we knew it beforehand...
JF: No Evelyn he's heading you into a trap!
AW: No wonder Tom Baker turned it down!
Oooh, the TARDIS has gone!
JF: Yeah I wouldnt have given him this script...Phantasmagoria and The Marian Conspiracy would have been much better tempters
AW: Definitely!
We’re back with Lethbridge-Stewart. Surely the old soldier will get involved in a physical way now. Won’t he?
AW: C'mon Brigadier, do something actiony!
Did he just say...
AW: Reference to The Invasion! The most excited I've been all episode!
Back with Evelyn up at the house. What’s that she’s found?
JF: Old Archie has got a secret laboratory!
AW: Lots of strange noises in Sir Archibald's lab! "What am I going to do with you?" Talk her to death?
JF: 'There's just one problem...' Yeah we haven’t seen the creature for nearly another episode!
AW: "There must be another way!" What, other than talking for another entire episode? If only!
And Sir Archibald continues to talk...
JF: 'You're a bit crackers, aren't you?'
AW: Did he just use the word "plodding"? How ironic! "You babbling inadequate!" How dare he?!
JF: did he just call Evelyn a babbling inadequate?
...and talk...
AW: Lots more talk then.........
JF: Now they're nattering on about social statuses! Still it’s better than watching an episode of The Likely Lads, they're bloody tedious
AW: If they'd done it on Twitter it would've been over much faster!
JF: First time Twitter has seemed like a good idea!
...and talk, until...
JF: My God I nearly shat myself when that window smashed...an actual sound effect!
AW: Ooooh, he's magic! Can he make some more exciting things happen?
JF: Just to make up for it the next story is full of action you know!
AW: There couldn't be much less!
Action over, it’s time for Evelyn to repeat herself a bit. There’s still the rest of the episode to fill after all!
JF: Evelyn keeps saying the same thing: 'You're mad! You're crackers! You're totally unhinged!'
AW: How much longer is there left of this episode?
JF: 2 minutes
AW: Thank goodness! "You'll never get away with this!"
JF: Lets hope there's a good cliff-hanger to lead us into the next episode...otherwise we may never come back.
Sir Archibald threaten to boil Evelyn’s eyes, but it’s far less dramatic than it sounds.
AW: What a rubbish cliff-hanger! No tension at all!
JF: 'Are you sitting comfortably...' Yeah the whole fucking episode that’s the problem!
And so to episode 3, were Tom Baker’s theme plays once more.
JF: I want Colin's Trial theme...how long do they use the Baker theme for and why?
AW: Not sure. I think it stops in the 30s release wise. What's he doing to her eyes?
JF: I dunno but I just watched Embarrassing Bodies and if it’s anything like what that guy was having done to his eyes...ugh!
A brief bit of action, but we’ve heard it before.
AW: A flashback to the aliens at the start!
JF: I'd forgotten about the alien chap!
AW: "Warm around the sockets."
JF: He slapped her! He slapped Evelyn! Bastard!
AW: Some more nice music here.
JF: It’s all going on now!
AW: About bloody time!
Will Evelyn have her eyes boiled out? No, as the power’s failed so it’s...
AW: Oh, back to chat.
JF: 'Perhaps it would be unwise to strain the analogy' - ugh sounds like he's on the loo.
Meanwhile the Doctor and co are having a nice drink.
AW: More tea.
JF: I'd like some if Morgan’s making one, no sugar.
Things are hotting up at the house, and Evelyn makes a move.
JF: Evelyn using her cardigan in an escape plan...its Barbara!
AW: Barbara would have been out of there by now!
The Doctor and chums are making some deductions.
AW: "You'll never get anywhere without a pencil" apparently!
JF: Helps you to work things out...hahaha!
AW: Urgh, back to the toilet! Quick!
They’ve not mentioned the fogou for a bit...
AW: Fogou!
JF: 'What about the Fogou?'
AW: The power of Fogou? Whogou? Yougou!
The Doctor has some idea of just what’s been going on.
JF: What are they talking about?
AW: I have not a clue.
JF: The Spoguan system? Sounds gross.
AW: I knew that burst of action at the start was too good to be true.
JF: I think what he's trying to say is his spaceship is in the fogou and the creature can perform magic tricks.
That disappearing cast member turns out to be relevant after all!
JF: Somewhere in the Eastern Mediterrean...Mrs Moyahan!
AW: What a...revelation. Or not. "Athens! Great Scott!"
And we’re abroad, in a museum with a familiar face from earlier.
JF: laaaaaayyydiess and gennyyyyltemen! What is up with that accent?
AW: Oooh, that's bad. A change of scene and more chatter about....history!
JF: Thank God for a change of scene! Is Susan Jameson the Fourth Doctor's companion in Demon Quest?
AW: Yes I believe so!
JF: From Mrs Moynihan to Mrs Wibbesey!
AW: She's also James Bolam's wife!
JF: I never knew that
AW: Bit of trivia to pass the time...
Ahem...back to the matter in hand. Time for some technobabble and random connections.
AW: Psionic energy? Athens? Fogou? What the....?
JF: There’s a coffee mug in Athens that will help the imp do magic tricks...keep up! Who thought this tosh up?
AW: Erm....I believe it was Nicolas Pegg...
JF: Naughty Nicholas! Did he write any others?
AW: I don't think so, but I might be wrong. He directed some though, didn't he?
JF: Yeah Loups-Garoux for one, fantastic stuff
AW: I'd much rather be listening to that one!
Don’t cross Mrs Moynihan, you won’t like her when she’s angry!
JF: 'Do shut up you irritating little fool! – don’t get her mad!
AW: The music's great! Best thing about this story.
JF: Jesus - Mrs Moynihan is a right psycho!
And...back at the fogou...
JF: Morgan's got a really shit part to play hasn't he? He doesn’t really do anything
AW: Just what I was about to say!
JF: I like the fact that Evelyn can escape on her own 'Bumbling bureacracy!'
AW: I'm glad she has - they could have spun another whole episode out of that!
Another familiar voice enters the picture...
JF: Oh my that's Reverend Thomas isn’t it?
AW: You mean.....Nicholas Pegg! The nerve!
JF: Oh is it? Hahahaha! He was great in the Pirates...wait until we get to that one.
AW: If we ever get to the end of this one....
JF: Come to think of it Philip's done sod all as well
AW: To be honest, no one's done much!
Evelyn seems to still be stuck on repeat.
AW: How many more times can Evelyn say "off his rocker"or "crackers" about Sir Archibald?
JF: Evelyn makes her adventures sound really exciting with old Archie...did we see any of that?
AW: Erm....no. Phwoar, Philip and Evelyn!
JF: She's the sort of woman his mother warned him about, don't you know?
Mrs Moynihan is back in Blighty, but it doesn’t look good for anyone who crosses her.
JF: Uh-oh I think this is a UNIT sentry redshirt
AW: He's like the away team member in Star Trek that we've never seen before.....dead!
JF: She's getting angry again...I think somebody's going to get hurt. Mrs Moynihan should have been in this all the way through...she's a brilliant psycho!
AW: My ears are being assaulted! Does that count?
JF: Her dialogue is so far over the top it’s on the other side
AW: She is the best character - she's actually done something!
JF: She beats people up, kills UNIT soldiers...what ever will she do next?
It’s sad that the Brigadier has had little to do though.
JF: The Brig has never been so bland, he has brought nothing to the story.
AW: Any one could have been in this instead of him. What a disappointment!
Back with Evelyn, and what’s Philip up to?
JF: Oh come one Evelyn...you must realise Philip is a bad 'um!
AW: Philip? Really? That came out of nowhere!
JF: Why has Philip been helping Archie...'I like getting things done' - what a crap motive!
AW: Oh, Evelyn's being locked up again. Ho hum. "You will die with inane prattle on your lips." What?!
JF: I love it when people on Gallifrey Base rant on about how great Big Finish was in the first 100 odd releases and how crap they are now - I haven't heard a single release in the last two years that has been as slow or unmemorable as this. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Chasepan!
Another cliff-hanger and another underwhelming one.
AW: Oh, the alien's out. Woo. And indeed hoo.
JF: 'Here begins my revenge!' Booooring.
At last! The final episode!
AW: So, the goblin's on the prowl then.
JF: Is that Zippy with a cold?
AW: Revenge for what? Being left behind? Who's the revenge on?
JF: 18,000 years...is that how long he's been hanging out on the Earth? Hurrah things are going to get serious apparently!
AW: But remember, it's only about 10 years in equivalent human time! How did I remember that?
JF: Loser...
So why does this alien want revenge?
AW: So he's pissed off at his brother. That's it?
JF: Fancy this terrifying alien forming a partnership with Mrs Mopp the cleaner! Repellant planet! How dare you!
AW: That's what this has been building up to? What's he talking about?
JF: Sibling rivalry!
But what does he need to take this revenge?
JF: A small disc...
AW: Oh, like a CD. Or a minidisc. Has he lost his minidisc player? Get MP3 like everyone else!
JF: Suddenly everybody remembers Evelyn's stone!
AW: And Philip gets a bit tetchy!
JF: What's the point of Philip? Was his whole purpose to be a red herring?
AW: I think so. And to be Evelyn's young bit of stuff. Here's the Professor - he has even less to do!
Poor Nicholas Courtney...
AW: The Brigadier really is wasted! Why's he in it?
JF: Oh know, I never thought I'd say it but he's rubbish in this! The Doctor doesn't have much luck with moors does he? Silurians on Penley Moor, the Skaresen on Tulloch Moor and now the Spectre of Lanyon Moor!
AW: God, I'm bored!
So, what’s the alien’s name?
JF: Sancreda? Sounds like a drink!
AW: I'm trying to enjoy it, but there really is little to like!
JF: It’s because the story is half baked, the characterisation lacks depth and the pace is drearily slow...
AW: Slow doesn't cover it! Nothing's really happened!
Oh Sir Archibald, you can’t control the alien! You poor deluded fool!
JF: I think old Archie might die now
AW: It's not surprising he's died. Was he that evil though?
JF: Not really, another delusional idiot.
So what about Mrs Moynihan? Why was she so bad?
JF: That's her motivation...because people have treated her like dirt? Gah!
AW: I know! What nonsense!
JF: Everybody talks in cliche as well...
AW: Is that why the Master went bad? Because as a teenager he worked in a restaurant and no one tipped him?
What’s that companion of the Doctor’s up to now?
JF: Evelyn...I'd forgotten all about her!
AW: She's had a terrible time in this. Almost as wasted as the Brig!
JF: Finally Morgan gets to do something! He must be over the moon!
AW: Get the party poppers! Philip’s died too!
JF: Finally...a massacre!
AW: We didn't even hear it!
JF: An off mike death though, clearly Philip wasn't that important!
Mrs Moynihan takes over the mantle of top baddie now Archie’s died.
AW: "You can blabber away all you like Doctor." That's all anyone's been doing!
JF: I guess for Evelyn being threatened with torture and kidnapped is new to her, she's allowed to be a little shaken. Just last week she was marking papers
AW: That's true.
Hang on, that’s not the real Morgan! The alien suddenly has shape-shifting powers!
AW: What the hell...?
JF: So Morgan didn't do anything after all! He just died! He's just a ranting alien, very dull.
AW: That came from nowhere! How could he do that! This is ridiculous! Why DO people rate this so much?
JF: I think it’s because it is so early in the run, nothing to compare it to...or do you mean it’s still highly regarded?
AW: Well on the Time Scales ratings site it has an average of 8.5/10! How?!
Mrs Moynihan comes to a sticky end too as Sancreda sets her own pets on her.
JF: Poor pathetic Mrs Moynihan...that's actually quite nasty being murdered by her own dogs
AW: Trouble is, I don't care about any of these characters! Yawn! How many more times is he going to mention 18000 years?
JF: At least the Doctor says its petty sibling rivalry.
AW: It's worrying that even he realises that though! Where's Evelyn now? Oh, there she is.
JF: Her first spaceship!
And the revelation about Sancreda’s brother is...
AW: He's dead! Good Lord! This whole story was a waste of time!
JF: Oh my God he was killed in the first scene...hahaha! So Scriffan was a nice brother after all!
AW: That's probably the best bit in the whole story! But it does kind of negate the whole thing! His mind is bent!
Sancreda still wants to destroy the Earth though.
JF: Blast this planet from space with the psionic canon - you predictable prat.
AW: Just shoot him Doctor, I wouldn't blame you! Push him in a bath of acid!
JF: Set up a laser canon or cyianide him to death! Ooh the Brig's gonna do something!
AW: Finally!
The Brigadier just does the best he can.
JF: Sounds like they're having sex!
AW: Maybe they are! Is Doris ok with that?
JF: His mind is addled with all these alien invasions. All the characters have an awful line in insults 'You half witted savage!' Why would he let him go??? You know this is going to be a trap!
AW: "He's out!" What, as an alien sex fiend? He's outed himself!
JF: 'Malfunction?' - ugh so predictable
AW: He knows how many beans make five you know.
All that action...suddenly grinds to a halt once more.
JF: The brief moment of danger is over and it’s back to some more chatting. The Brig is so modest - 'All in a days work Doctor'.
AW: If the Doctor hadn't been in this, the story would be virtually the same. That's not a good sign.
JF: That’s a really good point. I wonder how many other stories are like that?
AW: It'll be interesting to find out!
After the TARDIS vanished earlier, it suddenly reappears with no explanation.
JF: And like magic the TARDIS appears! Pointless mysteries that lead to nothing!
AW: Did it disappear? I don't remember that. I was obviously so engrossed in all the action.
JF: Yeah you commented on it at the time.
AW: I think my brain died in the intervening episodes.
JF: I do love the idea of the Doctor, the Brig and Evelyn going down the pub for some grub and a natter, that’s quite a nice ending.
AW: 'Trifle peckish' - it ends on a bad pun!
The Apocalypse Element
AW: Tom Baker's theme...AGAIN! I hope the first few of his releases have a randomly chosen theme tune.
Energy surges are creating problems in gravity wells for Monitor Trinket…
AW: Some strange noises.
JF: Is this already more exciting than Spectre?
AW: Almost! Trinket? What kind of a name is that?
Four of the temporal powers are attending a conference including…JF: It’s the Monan Host - they play a big role in the Gallifrey series dont’cha know? They have weird squeaky voices but they are one of the great Time Powers
AW: Gravity Wells. Is she related to Trinity?
The TARDIS dematerialises – here comes the Doctor to sort it all out!
JF: Here comes Evelyn - now I'm excited! She asks if the TARDIS is a cocktail shaker or a police box? She's been at this game too long already...sick of boring old corridors!
AW: I like cocktail shakers, and I like police boxes...but which is better?
JF: (Harry Hill voice) Only one-way to decide...FIIIIIIGHHTTT! Hahaha!
Andy is happy that the Doctor seems to be better than the last story…
AW: Hurrah! The Doctor's shaken off his cold.
The Time Lords are present naturally with their political underbelly…
AW: Ooh, the CIA! Something's going to go wrong...
Including their leader…
JF: Now this is where us not doing the Big Finish stories in order bites our butt because Vansell was introduced in The Sirens of Time, wasn't he?
AW: Yes he was, the annoying little whatshisname!
One thing impresses us both about this story.
JF: I like the lyre like music - who is scoring this story?
AW: I'm not sure.
JF: Oh it’s Nick Briggs! Well done Briggsy!
AW: That really is a great score.
Political machination amongst the time powers…
JF: This is all a bit Deadly Assassin isn't it? Trouble on Gallifrey...
AW: I'm sure I can hear Daleks in the background. As long as it doesn't go a bit Invasion of Time. Delegate Limahl? I thought he would be too shy.
JF: Oh you!
Vansell is insulting the TARDIS and there are inklings that something is very wrong with the High Minister…
JF: Eyesore of a TARDIS - Vansell you twat!
AW: How dare he?!
JF: Gallifrey is seeking approval of other Time Powers...ooh what is going on?
AW: Uh oh.
JF: I love that Dalek beat that goes on in the background of the scenes with the Minister – you know he’s an agent because of the music!
AW: Subtle. I mean that too
JF: Nick Briggs uses it in every Dalek story...and in his Dalek Empire series.
The President of Gallifrey arrives…
JF: Is that Michael Wade? He was in the Auton miniseries from BBV and very good he was too!
AW: Do you know, I'd not noticed! That's a good sign. I believe so, and he was excellent in Just War.
JF: I love Just War!
AW: One of the best ever.
Turns out the planet Etra Prime did a disappearing act and took a former President with it…
JF: A vanishing planet! Wow! This is better than Spectre! The Stolen Earth?
AW: It wasn't going to be hard! Romana!
JF: Oh my God - since when has Romana been President of Gallifrey?
AW: I believe Terrance Dicks made that happen, didn't he? Blood Harvest?
JF: Yeah in the NA Blood Harvest - or was that when she was brought back from E Space and Lungbarrow was the firs time she was President? Etra Prime is back...ooh exciting!
AW: I'm not sure, but I want to read Blood Harvest again now! "You will obey me!" Almost!
JF: Romana has been missing for 20 years/ Handful of heartbeats to a Timelord!
AW: Was Etra Prime taken out of time by Borusa? With the Timescoop?
JF: How wonderful to hear the sixth Doctor talking about Romana - I don't usually like this sort of thing but I bet they can have a right posh voice off!
AW: Now I like Romana, and I like the Sixth Doctor, but which is posher?
JF: (Harry Hill voice again) POSH FIGHT!
Daleks are plotting…
AW: Ooh Daleks!
JF: Those Dalek voices are terrifying! They sound proper pissed off!
AW: What do they want this time?
JF: Probably something devious and overcomplicated. Having the Daleks in a Big Finish was a real event at the time wasn't it?
AW: It was part two of some kind of series, wasn't it?
JF: It’s a bit more same old these days but it was a genuine thrill to hear them back at the time
AW: Now people moan if they turn up once a year.
JF: Lets be fair they have had an astonishing amount of mileage - it shocks me that people still find interesting things to do with them!
AW: True. There are some very clever stories out there...and some not so.
Turns out they are piloting Etra Prime through space…
JF: A piloted planet? Sounds a bit Dalek Invasion of Earth!
Evelyn is following the High Minister to see what he is up to…
JF: Loving Evelyn sneaking creeping about...
AW: Evelyn's really getting the hang of this companion lark!
JF: She's had more to do here than in Spectre already! Okay I'll stop comparing now
AW: So much action in this episode! More than in the whole of Spectre. I love that the Daleks are manipulating people again.
JF: You know when the Daleks count in Rels...was that introduced in the Cushing movies?
AW: I'm not sure. Was it in 'The Daleks'?
JF: I don't know - answers on a postcard to thethirdzone@hotmail.com
AW: The prize is...satisfaction!
The High Minister is priming an explosive device to allow the entrance of…
AW: A bomb! Bloody hell, it's all happening!
JF: Its a bomb...run Evelyn! Wowza I think I've gone deaf!
…Daleks! Blasting away at everything!
JF: Daleks bursting through...I'm having a fangasm!
AW: It doesn't take much does it? Hahaha!
JF: Not really...
AW: Poor Evelyn!
JF: That was a great entrance though - if Daleks are going to turn up on audio it should be in a big explosion!
AW: Well, they had already been in it. If that'd been their first appearance at the end of part one...that would have been amazing.
The Daleks work their way through Archetryx loudly and kill anyone who gets in their way…
JF: Wowza these action scenes are amazing - who's directing this? Is it Briggs again?
AW: Yep! And it shows - good work that man!
JF: Go Briggsy - explosions and deaths! I don’t what's going on but I am excited!
AW: I don't think the Doctor does either! Bring on the wells!
JF: It has real pace and drive, doesn't it...just like a story that I am not allowed to mention didn’t?
AW: Very much so. It's going all over the place and so much has happened.
It looks like the Daleks have what they came for…
JF: Is that the Daleks gone - boo! Oh no some of them missed the bus! Hahaha!
Vansell is being obstructive…
AW: Oh Vansell is such a cock! Exterminate him!
JF: So they are just here to steal the temporal device for Etra Prime - I've figured out what’s happening! And the Doctor is trying to figure out what has happened to Romana... See perfect sense!
AW: I wonder where she might be...?
To create maximum damage the remaining Daleks commit suicide!
JF: Devious self destructing Daleks - that's horrible!
AW: Kamikaze Daleks!
It all goes a bit action mad…
JF: Pwoar Pwoar! Explosions! Woo-hoo! Hahaha!
The Doctor is going to have to circumnavigate the gravity wells…
JF: Boot clamps...does that mean they will be going clomp clomp clomp up the walls...oh yes!
Suddenly a horrible slurpy noise…
AW: Urgh! What's that?
JF: Ugh, what's that? Snap!
AW: Dalek mutants!
JF: Dalek mutants - gross! Ewww it sounds like they are all around me!
They attack!
AW: Nice cliffhanger!
JF: Phew what an episode! I'm exhausted!
AW: Very exciting - so much action!
JF: Im so psyched up to listen to episode two! The opposite of Spectre! Imagine if this was a TV story? The kids would have been so excited to see this episode!
AW: And terrified! Ooh, who's that? Could it be....? "Do not move, do not move, do not move!"
We cut to Romana on Etra Prime, a prisoner of the Daleks.JF: This is the one scene I always remember from this story - Lalla Ward is hauntingly good here and what an awesomely visual description of the Daleks. She's a really great actress, isn't she?
AW: I can understand why she's terrified - maybe she thinks they'll repeat her to death! She's great! Love Lalla Ward.
JF: I love the description of 'sticks and bumps' - I remember giving a Dalek toy to my niece and she was fascinated by all the sticks and bumps when she was a little girl...she had never seen anything like it her life
AW: It's a beautiful scene. She's hanging on to her humanity, as it's all she's got left
JF: Romana has had a whole new lease of life on audio - her character goes from strength to strength and she was pretty amazing to start with
AW: A great character, and she does have a lot more opportunities to shine in the audios.
Back to the Dalek mutants attacking the Doctor…
JF: I wonder how they got all those icky sucky noises for the Dalek mutants?
AW: I dread to think! Hahaha!
JF: Ugh! Gross!
Attention to detail is clearly important to both fans…
JF: I love that Dalek heartbeat noise and the doors sound just like they did in The Daleks...nicely done
AW: Lalla Ward sounds just like she did on TV! It's fantastic!
Would this be so out of place in season 22?
JF: This story could even have been in Colin Baker's TV seasons - full of continuity, complicated and brilliantly melodramatic!
AW: But more enjoyable that Attack of the Cybermen! Perfect!
Looks like the Daleks have been thinking ahead again and have replaced all the staff on Archetryx…
AW: Dalek duplicates! Those devils!
JF: They are devious buggers those Daleks...they replaced the rulers of Archetryx years ago!
AW: "We've all been the Daleks' fools." Nothing changes.
JF: Don't tell me Evelyn is going to meet Romana? Fangasm!
AW: Have you just exploded?
JF: I have a feeling this is all going to go to shit...as in there's going to be a big explosion soon! It seems that sort of story.
AW: Here's hoping!
JF: I find it odd that Spectre is universally loved and this is universally panned and yet on practically every level this is better - more exciting, more interesting, better performed... More explosions!
AW: Exactly! So much better! Sure it has loads of continuity, but it's exciting!
JF: I remember when I reviewed it for my blog - when you dissect it hardcore it is full of fantastic ideas 'Once the element is harvested...' -ooh what's going on?
The Daleks are planning to make a big impact on this system…
JF: Oh my God are the Daleks going to crash Etra Prime into Archetryx? Awesome!
AW: Can't say they lack ambition! No, not the Virgoans! Is this BSG?
JF: Hahaha! Etra Prime is approaching...I'm preparing myself! Oh no the Monan Host has bought it!
AW: Contact! Reminds me of The Three Doctors ever time.
JF: There's a real feeling that the Daleks cannot be defeated because of their strength in numbers...kill some and there's more behind waiting to kill you! A benefit of the budget of audio!
AW: "Dodge the Dalek" sounds like a fun game. What are the rules?
JF: The rules are...if you stay alive you win!
AW: I don't like those odds.
JF: It didn’t take off really…
Finally we find out what the Daleks have stolen, what they have been after all along…
AW: The Apocalypse Element!
Evelyn is shoved into an inspection hatch!
JF: Evelyn wasn’t designed for a space so small...is she porky then? Where's her flirty young man in this story?
AW: All that cocoa and chocolate cake. Yeah, that's lacking. Maybe one will show up...and then get killed.
JF: Do you think everybody will be killed? Romana? Vansell? Evelyn?
AW: Who knows! It seems like no one's safe here!
JF: The Daleks do feel like a real threat, don't they?
AW: They really do, more than they have of a long time.
The President of Gallifrey has grave misgivings about the approaching fight with the Daleks…
AW: "The final battle". That sounds ominous.
JF: I remember Russell T Davies referenced this story in one of the New Series Doctor Who books as one of the catalysts of the Time War...
Gravity returns to the Wells and down fall the Dalek mutants…
JF: Ugh those Daleks falling to the ground sound like wet farts!
A pair of old friends are reunited…
JF: Romana and the Doctor reunited - hurrah!
AW: Hurrah! The Doctor and Romana! "You're wearing the wrong body!" "No, I'm wearing the right body but not necessarily in the right order." Lovely Morecambe and Wise reference.
JF: Romana is much tougher - no time for mourning Doctor!
AW: Romana's not fond of Vansell either!
JF: Romana went missing a few weeks into her Presidency...that's unfortunate!
The Daleks are back and more pissed off than ever…
JF: Oooh! Bang! Bang! Pwoar! Pwoar! Daleks exploding! People screaming! Yeeeeaahhh!
AW: Action overload!
JF: Vansell has done a runner! Bastard!
AW: He's a right shit. Apologies!
JF: Who are you apologising to?
AW: The readers, for my bad language!
JF: Oh bum tit wank!
AW: You might well say that, but I couldn't possibly comment.
JF: 'She must be exterminated!' - he sounds really angry that Dalek!
AW: "Do not move." "Do not kick him out of the union of anything will you."
JF: Bang! Bang! Woo-hoo! Daleks dying! Is Etra Prime still coming?
Collision is imminent!
AW: It seems so!
The Time Lords have scampered back to Gallifrey given the approaching planet that is about smash into Archetryx. The Monan Host have left too and are trying to claim asylum on the planet of the Time Lords…
JF: No don't let the Monan Host onto Gallifrey Lord President...I smell a rat!
AW: Oh, my dear Lord President, you have been naive.
JF: Your will is week!
AW: No need for insults!
When planets collide…
JF: My god I am dying with excitement...everybody rushing into the TARDIS as Etra Prime smashes into Archetryx - BAAAAAAANNNGGGGGG!
AW: Explosions, TARDIS taking off, so much noise!
JF: If this were on the telly it would be the most exciting thing ever!
AW: Poor Limahl. Will he ever get to record another album? Go on Lord President, give him a chance.
The President refuses to allow aliens on Gallifrey but one of their number is greedy…
JF: Oh Vansell you twat...he wants to let the Monan Host onto Gallifrey so he can steal their technology - his greed will be his downfall!
AW: So very greedy. Silly silly man. Don't do it!
JF: No Lord President! Don't let them in!
AW: Oh, this isn't going to end well... What's he letting through?
JF: The President is letting something through...I think we all know!
Daleks!
AW: Oh dear!
JF: Buggering botheration!
The Daleks sweep through Gallifrey and do their stuff…
AW: A massacre! Nasty!
JF: The Daleks on Gallifrey? The first stage of the Time War!
AW: Good grief! What an ending!
JF: How funny how this all ties up with the new series...when they wouldn't have known at the time!
AW: Great stuff!
JF: Too much excitement for one story...I think I need a lie down! Do you remember it took us three weeks between episodes one and the two of Spectre...five minutes between episodes one and two of Apocalypse!
AW: I know! Just shows the difference in quality!
JF: My one complaint is that Evelyn is lost amongst all the action but she has such great material coming up the odd story where she is sidelined isn't a problem!
AW: True. But there's so much going on I hadn't noticed!
JF: Did they really think using this theme tune would sell more copies?
AW: I don't know. I think maybe it was a right's issue.
Someone is having a touch of guilty conscience…
JF: 'They gave us bait and we swallowed it...' - erm no Vansell YOU swallowed it!
AW: Bad boy, dirty boy!
Turns out Vansell is everywhere…
JF: In the Gallifrey story I listened to the other day Vansell was a house slave!
AW: Is he the submissive type?
JF: Erm yep...he's shacked up with Mary Tamm
AW: Good grief! I keep thinking of Moroks when they mention Monans!
JF: The Doctor has the measure of 'halfwit' Vansell!
The Daleks are sweeping through Gallifrey…
AW: "We stop them." That's it Doctor you must have a plan. So much action!
JF: Bang! Bang! Explosion! This sounds a lot like Ressurection of the Daleks I watched the other day!
AW: Minus Dirty Den. Before he was dirty.
You need a Gallifreyan retina scan to open doors but this wont stop the Daleks…
JF: They require a Gallifreyan eye...ugh they are burning it out! Imagine if we had seen Daleks blasting the crap out of Gallifrey on the telly?
AW: Some great sound effects! I know! Much better than Daleks versus Cybermen!
JF: Oh I rather liked that
AW: It seemed a bit too school playground to me. Best left to the imagination. Loving the score in this too! Very Sixth Doctor in the best possible way.
The Doctor, Evelyn, Romana and Trinket are still in the TARDIS…
JF: I love the Doctor talking softly with the TARDIS to get it to work with Romana; he loves his old ship...
Only something a couple of sad old fans would notice…
JF: Oh listen its that weird Gallifreyan hum that was in The War Games
AW: So much attention to detail. Love the staser noises too!
Looks like we make get a wish come true as the Daleks approach…
AW: Go on kill Vansell!
JF: Daleks! Blast Bam! Pow! Zap! Die! Die! There's so much going on I'm a bit lost, but I'm enjoying it enormously.
Now Vansell admits it was all his fault and gets told off appropriately…
JF: 'How can I have been so gullible?' - he's getting a telling off from the President!
AW: Transduction barrier!
JF: Vansell was in Neverland, wasn't he? He's a twat in that too!
AW: Yeah he was!
JF: No offence to the actor who is very good but he's saddled with the most unlikable of characters.
AW: I do love how they used pretty much any and all bits of Gallifreyan history, and I'm not normally a fan of all that nonsense.
Finally as character asks the question…
JF: 'What exactly do the Daleks want from us?'
They are well and truly massacring the Time Lords to get access to their equipment!
AW: Probably their coffee lounge interiors. "WHO DES-IGNED YOUR RE-CEP-TION ROOMS?" Dalek spearhead (from space). No wonder this lead to the Time War.
The Doctor is the voice of reason…
JF: Listen to the Doctor trying to calm Trinket and get her involved - this is the sixth Doctor we should have had all along. He even gives them all the option to stay in the TARDIS, safe and sound
However his friends refuse to let him go into danger alone.
AW: Lovely to hear everyone rallying round him. He never did that to Peri without sounding like he didn't really mean it.
Suddenly, as our guard is down with all this interplay – the Daleks attack en masse!
JF: Argh - deafening murder!
Andy has suddenly noticed the length of the tracks whilst I am still trying to figure out the plot…
AW: Not a complaint, but these episodes are quite long!
JF: I think I know what's going on! They stole something from Archetryx and then destroyed and now have invaded Gallifrey so they can use that technology to harvest the Apocalypse Element!
AW: He's not scared of them.
AW: "The only arms the Doctors uses are up his sleeve." Genius!
JF: 'You are the Doctor!' 'How terribly observant of you. No wonder you only need one eye!'
It would appear that the Daleks have added something to their casings…
AW: Hmm, crystals eh?
JF: Little crystals on the Dalek casings...is this Dalek bling? Dalekjazzle?
AW: I IS THE SU-PREME DA-LEK INN-IT.
JF: Stockbridge syndrome? Hahaha!
Romana has becomes cold since she is away…
JF: Has Romana gone mad in 20 years of imprisonment?
AW: No, she's far cleverer than that! See, Evelyn says so!
JF: There is one story, I can't remember which one where Gary Russell has a go at playing a Dalek...can you imagine that? It’s the campest Dalek you've ever heard!
AW: Hahaha! I'd love to hear that!
JF: I think it might be Jubilee - I can't remember but it is really funny!
AW: Is he the one who sings?
Everybody is getting bitchy as things get more distressing
JF: 'Hello Vansell what an entirely expected disappointment!' - this is a pretty witty script
AW: Some great banter!
Finally somebody is flirting with Evelyn! That makes three for three
JF: Ooh there's Evelyn's love interest for this story - the Doctor! He just snogged her!
AW: Oh Evelyn! But he's an older man! She usually likes them young!
The Daleks are up to something devious in a mathematical galaxy…
AW: Galaxy 17a53. Now, where is that I wonder?
JF: And the Dalek has to destroy its ship...what could they be up to?
The Doctor wants to make Evelyn’s eyes the most sought after in Gallifrey by having her eye print the only one that can access the systems
AW: Great plan! The Doctor's that is.
JF: Evelyn's eye print will be the master print for Gallifreyan technology - does that explain why a human mind could open the Eye of Harmony in the TV Movie?
AW: There's some interesting ideas on that in this month's DWM
JF: I haven't read it yet!
AW: Call yourself a fan!
JF: It gets posted to my mother in laws! Its been redirected...
The President is not happy about the Doctor’s choice of key…
AW: Like the President's xenophobia! Well, misdirected, but similar.
JF: Evelyn giving the squaddies the eye - dirty mare!
AW: She loves it!
The Daleks have been concocting a very nasty element…
JF: An element so imbued with mental energy it is evil - what is this Apocalypse Element?
AW: Apocalyptic that's for sure!
The Element has the ability to set fire to the entire universe
AW: "Nothing can stop the Daleks!" Really, do they really think that?
JF: I dunno but they are off to the Serephia galaxy to nab the element! Setting light to the universe? How terrifying!
AW: They've thought this through! Sort of. "The cut-price cavalry."
JF: Wow, bow down to the Daleks or they will destroy EVERYTHING - pretty scary
AW: So self-deprecating!
JF: Oh no one of those Daleks said 'we obey' later the others - like Captain Guering in 'Allo 'Allo! 'Tler!'
The Doctor certainly thinks the Daleks have the upper hand…
AW: They're going to be showing The Power of the Daleks! Can I watch too? The end of everything! Good grief!
JF: 'ITS THE END OF EVERYTHING!' - my god!
AW: They're not doing things by halves this time!
The Doctor is weaving though the corridors using a Dalek as a Time Lord shield…
JF: The Doctor is playing trains with a Dalek, using it as a shield! That might be a fun theme park game as well!
AW: Evelyn's really not scared; she just wants to beat them!
This is one audio that certainly likes to make an impression!
JF: It is very loud in places, this story! I think I need to have my ears cleaned out...
AW: It's certainly blown the cobwebs out of mine!
Looks like the Daleks may not be in control as we thought…
JF: What if the Daleks lose control of the element? They're playing with fire!
AW: Literally it seems!
The Doctor is going to have to reach into the depths of continuity to defeat them…
AW: God they're pulling out all the old stuff!
JF: The Doctor needs the 'everything of Rassilon including his polka dot pyjamas!'
AW: Action packed though this is, it has gone on a little too long for liking now. Still miles more entertaining than the last one though
JF: Yeah I would have probably cut off twenty minutes - although I have loved all the action!
AW: It is very exciting, but it could have done with a trim or two.
Someone seems to be enjoying themselves amongst all the death…
JF: Evelyn is such a dose of normality amongst all this madness...'Am I the incredible walking key again?' - she just makes me smile
Romana is in awe of the Eye of Harmony but someone is not as impressed
JF: The Doctor cuts straight to the truth - when you cut through all the mystical mumbo jumbo the Eye of Harmony is just a phenomenal power source. Despite it being a little too long it is still waaaaay better than its reputation.
AW: Oh definitely! I don't why Spectre is so well loved and this isn't. The Doctor is pretty integral to this one; in the other he was peripheral at best.
The Daleks have their own unique way of breaking down a door…
JF: The Daleks are self destructing outside the door just to break in...they are absolute nutters! Don’t you think the Doctor is always at his best when juggling a hundred problems and this is on an incredible scale - its a space opera that genuinely feels operatic!
AW: Definitely.
An ominous sound effect grows…
AW: Power building....uh oh!
JF: What are they doing?
AW: Sounds a bit...dodgy...
JF: Sounds like my washing machine!
The Doctor tries to stress the urgency of the situation to his friends
JF: Oh I love this bit! Colin Baker is sublime as he loses his rag! I quoted this entire sequence for my review
AW: "Your own galaxy". I thought Gallifrey was in the Milky Way too?
JF: Baker makes this sort of extended speech sound so natural in a way that the other audio Doctor's don't quite manage - he has a gift with long words! 'There'll be nothing left! NOOOTTTTHHHIIINNNGGG!' Now that's melodrama!
AW: "In all my travels throughout the universe..." It's him standing on his soapbox again, but he does it well.
The Daleks want to so a deal…
AW: Don't believe the Daleks you fool!
JF: Given the strength of all the performances here and you have formidable performers like Colin Baker, Lalla Ward and Michael Wade...I think Karen Henson sounds a little too normal and dull as Trinket - she should have been killed earlier!
A show of trust to the Daleks - how did that guy ever get to become President of Gallifrey?
AW: I'm glad Michael Wade has survived this long though, despite the President being so naive!
JF: I love it when you can hear Daleks in the distance...it really feels like you are there and they are way in the distance coming towards you
Evelyn is being dragged around to open every door…
AW: Poor Evelyn!
JF: 'A pretty face like mine could open a lot of doors for you...' - Evelyn you old flirt!
AW: With a Dalek too!
JF: Evelyn's Dalek impression is horrendous - don't give up your day job, dear!
The President gets gunned down by the Daleks…
AW: Well, the President had that coming!
JF: Oh no, the President has been shot!
AW: The old fool!
JF: I bet Romana arranged that so she could take over again - she probably whispered in one of the Daleks' ears
The Daleks have a new battle cry…
JF: 'Gallifrey belongs to the Daleks!'
AW: I don't think she'd have needed to! He was so weak and rather foolish.
Evelyn becomes the central force that can open the Eye of Harmony leading to a twist in another much loved (hoho) Doctor Who story…
JF: Yeah, there you go - stare into the light...its just like the TV Movie!
AW: "A human, opening the Eye of Harmony"
The Daleks have turned up in a familiar sounding time machine…
JF: Oh it’s the Dalek time machine sound from The Chase - awesome!
AW: Isn't that great! Just need Morton Dill now!
JF: The attention to detail is astonishing, one thing these audio drama reminds you of is how good the sound effects were for the classic series
AW: Such memorable sounds too.
JF: 'Howzat?' - he's channelling the fifth Doctor
Everything comes to head with a mahoosive bang…
AW: A big explosion and.... All calm again.
JF: A thousand Dalek minds...over estimating Gallifreyan tech and under estimating the element - so they got it all wrong, again!
Turns out that with their lack of control the Daleks have laid waste to a whole area of space…
AW: Those stupid pepper pots! Though they've wiped out an entire galaxy!
The Doctor is sad…
JF: 'So many magical worlds I'll never know...' - that's really poignant
But it turns out those dastardly Daleks have a trick up their sleeve, a galaxy in Serephia seeded with Dalek evil…
AW: But it's reforming into a new one!
JF: 'Life from death! Life wins!' Even when they've lost they still win, damn those Daleks!
AW: So, is that it? The Daleks win? (sort of)
JF: Oh that's Nick Briggs...imagine him saying 'Coming soon from Big Finish Productions...' Yeah I seem to remember this was set up for a new Dalek Empire - which is where the new Nick Briggs Dalek Empire saga steps in! If it is set up...it was some very exciting set up! I thought the first half was better than the second half but overall it was beautifully directed and written with some flair, and the performances of Baker, Ward, Stables and Wade were all exceptional. I would probably have made the overall story and hour and a half rather than two hours and cut out some of the technobabble. But I found the story engaging and I really liked the stakes...
8/10
AW: I agree, the first half was better. The second seemed a little too long. A very good effort though.
JF: Out of ten?
AW: We don't normally do this, so I shall abstain!
Bloodtide
Episode One
JF: Oh no the Tom Baker theme again!
AW: Why is that?
me: Tut tut...did Big Finish not trust the Colin Baker theme to excite people? Ooh hissy!
An old monster returns…
Andrew: These sound more like the old Silurians, thankfully. The Warriors ones were awful!
me: The return of old monsters is very 80s Who...had Colin Baker continued in the role this type of story may have happened
A misguided Silurian scientist is punished for his abominations by being banished to…
Andrew: No, not the Earth's surface!
Very true.
me: The sounds effects are great - squeaky doors, dripping water, clanking chains
Big Finish is very immersive at its best
Andrew: Great soundscape. Some tinkly sounds too, which reminds me of Trial - in a good way! Nice to see/hear the Silurians getting ready for hibernation.
Hmm, what WILL happen to his creatures?
Is that Carey Blyton I can hear?
me: Can you hear the weird instrument in the music...that’s the same instrument that polluted their original story! Now that is what I call authenticity!
The TARDIS lands on a tropical island…
Andrew: I hadn't noticed! That's quite a stroke of genius! Vworp. Vworp.
me: Shut your eyes and listen to that seaside soundscape!
Andrew: No fogous I hope this time.
I'm still scarred.
me: Hahaha listen to the madly quoting sixth Doctor! This story is full of witty Jonathan Morris dialogue, he's such a great writer
Andrew: Very in character!
me: 'Pompous and overblown' 'Really? He's my favourite author!'
Andrew: I forgot this was one of his! Is it his first?
me: Yeah his first Big Finish of many!
Andrew: I hope this one holds up to my memory of it...
me: I love the way Evelyn calls the Doctor infuriating - the sort of thing Peri would have said but he agrees with her. He really likes Evelyn, doesn't he? Oh no this Greta character is really shrill!
Andrew: Definitely. I think it helps that she's more an equal footing with him, in intellect and age terms. Well, at least the age he looks!
One of the serving girls at the local prison is distraught about her brothers recent experiences…
me: 'Gooovenoooor!'
Andrew: Urgh, I'd forgotten about her!
Isn't it Mr Rob Shearman's wife, Jane Goddard? She's usually very good!
me: Its not really a role you can get your teeth into - a screaming concerned sister!
Andrew: True, I can forgive her that.
The Doctor thinks he’s all man by leaping up a hill…
me: The Doctor is boasting about his physical prowess...shut up you porker! He makes me laugh!
Andrew: Enjoying all this Doctor/Evelyn dialogue. What the Doctor and Peri should have been like.
me: 'Smells like a physics undergraduate!' Evelyn is really funny! I love hanging out with these two...I would love to be a part of this TARDIS team
We find out we are on the Galapagos islands…
Andrew: The Tortoise Islands! I've learnt something new here too! Yeah, what a team!
me: 'That's something else he's taught us!'
Andrew: ...and now a wailing man.
me: What has this fellow seen? His mind is bent!
Andrew: I wonder if his will is weak too.
me: Most probably!
Their revelry is disturbed by a sudden gunshot…
Andrew: Love that the Doctor isn't bothered about getting shot at!
me: That gunshot made me jump!
Andrew: Isn't that Irving Braxiatel himself?
me: It is, Miles Richardson is a fabulous actor! He's wonderful in this
But who is he...?
Andrew: So was his dad. Shame he was never in Who.
The Doctor seems to have their aliases sorted before they arrived…
me: And has the Doctor been pre planning this adventure like the 7th Doctor?
Andrew: It seems that way, doesn't it? Sneaky! The penny drops!
We discover who this mysterious strange is…
me: Darwin! Evelyn is figuring it all out...just the sort of historical figure that she would want to meet. The Doctor really likes Evelyn to give her this kind of gift
Andrew: Nice to see the Doctor showing a companion something that they'll really appreciate.
me: Didn't Alfred Russell Wallace figure out the theory of evolution first? Still educate and entertain, Morris is onto a winner! Dr Einstein! What an ego!
Heavy breathing indicates a Silurian is listening to events…
Andrew: Ooh, who's this? Sounds like a Silurian to me. This is all very intriguing so far!
me: Was it the same one from the beginning?
I love all the intelligent discussion of evolution in this story, it really adds some substance
Andrew: Possibly. At the risk of sound Silurian-ist, they all sound very similar.
me: Just what I was going to say!
Emilio (Greta’s brother) is assaulted by prehistoric sounds…
Andrew: Some bad accent work here. Oh dear, oh dear. Has he wandered in from 'Allo 'Allo? He can't stand the confusion in his mind!
me: Woah...what an audio experience that is with all those creatures screaming! Scary!
Silurian head noises!
Andrew: It's like an audio version of that bit in Ghost Light when Ace has that nasty remembrance of where she is.
me: Hurrah for Big Finish and their nostalgic authenticity!
Andrew: They're so good with that!
me: Certain sound effects take you right back into the original stories, don't they?
Andrew: Definitely. Such an easy way in as well.
Looks like there’s only one thing on the menu for Evelyn…
me: Tortoise soup! Roasted tortoise! Eaten to extinction...an ecological message too!
Andrew: Not sure I'd fancy tortoise for tea.
me: A bit crusty, perhaps?
Greta is hysterical with grief…
Andrew: You'd think, wouldn't you? Is that Greta back again? Oh yes.
me: 'You are a murrrrrdererrrrrr!'
Andrew: It's the only low point for me so far.
…but the Doctor is looking after her!
me: Sixie is so soft, what a lovely bloke. This is my sixth Doctor, somebody who speaks up for the underdog
Andrew: This is what Colin Baker always wanted, isn't it? Nice to see him getting a chance to be the Doctor he always wanted to be.
me: The juxtaposition of the Silurians given what we know about their past and theories of evolution is just about perfect
Andrew: It's very well done. It's good that there are other stories that can be told with them. Is this their first time back? (aside from Warriors of the Deep obviously)
me: I think so...Warriors of the Deep - lets forget that never happened! Listen to those waves lapping at the shore....oh that’s lovely
Andrew: One of them sounded like The Kandyman. It was very off-putting. That is nice. I meant the Silurians by the way, not the waves!
me: I wonder if Big Finish will bring the Kandyman back? I wouldn’t put it past them!
Andrew: Hmmm, maybe. He was in a Decalog story, that much I remember. The Doctor breaking the rules again!
me: Jane Goddard is much better when she isn't wailing and the accent isn’t that bad...
Andrew: No, it's not too dreadful. A shame about the wailing though.
It looks like the Governor is in league with the nasties…
me: I love the slimy governor, he just screams of baddie, huh?
Andrew: There's a hint of that, yes. When I say hint, I mean bloody great big clue! What, a listening device? In the 19th century? The plot thickens...
me: What are they walking into? Where has Emilio gone? oooh Greta just deafened me! I bet Evelyn is used to rough lodgings!
Evelyn is bunking up with Darwin on the Beagle tonight!
Andrew: Another younger man for her this time too!
me: She's got another man friend in this story...and Charles Darwin of all people
Andrew: She's notching them up!
me: Dirty mare, but she is very appealing
Andrew: I think it's the intelligence that draws them in.
me: Remember those awful drawings of her from DWM...as a fat old woman and then Big Finish put Maggie Stables on the cover and she looked nothing like it!
Andrew: Oh yeah! I'd forgotten about them! Lights under the water....
me: Not...not...the MYRKA!
The Doctor and Greta explore the prison but something is watching them…
Andrew: Uh-oh, this isn't good.... The DEEEEEVILS!
The Doctor is confronted with a Silurian!
me: Oh I love this...you can hear the flipper feet! Its that kazoo instrument again at the cliffhanger!
Andrew: Oooh, great first episode!
me: Brilliant, brilliant stuff...that went by so quickly!
Andrew: Always a good sign though! Its not long before they start using the correct themes is it? Is Pirates the first?
Andrew: Of Baker's? I think it might be. That or Jubilee/
Episode Two
Darwin discusses his discoveries whilst on the island and begins to evolve a theory…
Andrew: How good is Miles Richardson?
me: He brings a real gravitas to the story, exactly what Darwin should bring!
Andrew: This talk is kind of like foreplay for this pair! Naughty Evelyn! Her and the younger men!
me: What is this -bestiality? Animal foreplay?
Andrew: Oh Evelyn, what have you done?
me: Listen to the creaking deck - I feel as if I am on that ship!
The Doctor has been locked up with Emilio and Greta…
Andrew: And this dripping water now, in the cell! Very evocative.
me: Emilio and Greta in the same scene...can we take that much melodrama???
Andrew: Ooh, some Doctor hypnotism! I always liked it when he did that. Like with Jamie in The Two Doctors.
me: For all his faults as a writer I do think that at his best Gary Russell is an excellent director - he gets great performances out of his actors and creates a great soundscape
The sixth Doctor is continuing a traditional error that began with the third Doctor…
Andrew: Why's he still calling them Silurians? The Third Doctor even said that they shouldn't be called that!
me: The Fires of Vulcan, The One Doctor, Davros...he's very good. He's a retro kind of guy!
Andrew: The only trouble I have with the 'Silurians' is that they all sound alike!
me: I would have love for Colin Baker to have met the Silurians on TV - he's got that Pertwee seriousness that really sells the situation as reality
Andrew: It's good that he gives some backstory to them too, so newcomers don't need to catch up with the other stories. Definitely.
me: That's typical Jonny Morris economy of storytelling - I call him the modern day Robert Holmes you know! His backlist of stories is phenomenally good.
Emilio has been taken back to an earlier stage of existence…
Andrew: Emilio has regressed! Just like...is it Major Baker in the original?
me: Charles didn’t get any sleep at all last night - I wonder why not Evelyn you harlot!
Andrew: It is very good indeed, and like Holmes he's made a couple of mis-steps too.
me: Yeah Baker. But his best stories - The Eternal Summer, The Haunting of Thomas Brewster, The Curse of Davros - are just so good!
Andrew: I've only heard the first of those, but I greatly enjoyed it! I really liked Cobwebs too.
me: And The Ressurection of Mars, Max Warp & The Crimes of Thomas Brewster!
Andrew: Some more hypnotism, regression this time. Good old caring Doctor.
me: This running on the spot a tad now... Get the plot moving Morris!
There’s one thing we can all agree on…
Andrew: Yeah, yeah, they're devils. We get that.
me: Deeeeviiiilllls, I think you'll find
Andrew: Three, two, one, you're back in the room. Apologies. Evelyn's having quite a jolly time while the Doctor's locked up!
me: She's a pretty independent sort of bird. Simon and I were discussing this the other day - the best companions are the ones that can drive their own plots independent of the Doctor. Like Sarah Jane. Evelyn is a prime example
Andrew: Very true.
The first appearance of a Silurian dolly bird…
me: Is that a Silurian woman? That's a first, I think...
Andrew: Wow! Pre-series 5! I'd forgotten about her!
me: Id forgotten about that 2 parter - bloody Chibnall! What a wretched writer! And he's back for season 7 you know! 'We were here first!' - love it when Sixie gets sarky!
Andrew: I know. I didn't mind the Silurian two parter, pretty retro-Who with its village sealed off. It just didn't really go anywhere!
me: I quite liked the nostalgia of the first episode but the second episode...meh. Not a patch on Bloodtide
Andrew: Ooh, the baddie is back! Boo!
me: I just heard Jeremy James again - Josh from the SJA series! He was in The Marian Conspiracy too!
Andrew: Was he?
This story is starting to sound a mite familiar…
me: This is sounding very like Dr Who and the Silurians now, its going over the same ground...
Andrew: Hmm, indeed. And it's pretty much only going to end one way
And the Doctor is up to his old tricks of diplomacy…
me: Why does the Doctor always try and get these creatures to try and make peace with the humans? It never works out! Evelyn is having a Miss Marple moment!
Andrew: He's got far too much patience. Stick David Collings' alternate Doctor in there and he'd have destroyed them all!
me: Yeah they'd have been dead in episode one!
Andrew: Nice to hear that noise again though, even if not much is happening.
me: Knowing how the story proceeds Im not worried...I can remember the end of episode two and it made me pee my pants before!
Andrew: Not literally I hope!
One of Big Finish’s early musicians is providing a fine score…
me: Alistair Lock's music really is good...it was a real loss when he moved on from Big Finish. Him and Russell Stone
Andrew: He really does deliver some top-notch scores.
me: I remember when I first learnt that Miles Richardson was Darwin - I hadn’t realised on my first listen and I have always been a massive fan of the Bernice Summerfield line! He sounds so different from the devious Braxiatel!
Andrew: Haven't really heard much of Braxiatel, only enough to know it was the same person, but he's certainly striking as Darwin.
me: He's an evil bastard - well more misguided but he's an excellent ambiguous villain.
The Doctor explores the Silurian lair…
Listen to them plopping through the water
Andrew: Great sound design here, that background hum for example.
me: And the echo because they are in a cave. The attention to detail is fantastic. A rotted away lizard! Ugh! Darwin trying to rationalise the Silurians! Love it!
Andrew: It's all happening now! 'Perfectly safe' - that's the kiss of death!
me: I can't believe Greta is still alive...she's got victim written all over her! Imagine if she was the companion rather than Evelyn...
Andrew: Oh dear lord! How HAS she survived this long?
me: Actually Darwin has an epiphany about him quite soon you know.
What’s that horrid growling sound coming from the sea?
Andrew: Now the Doctor's free and Evelyn's headed into trouble! Nice about turn! Holy crap it's a....Myrka!
And its attacking the Beagle!
me: What on Earth is that? The Myrka! Hahahaha! Brilliant! And look at how gorgeous it looks on audio!
Andrew: Best way to see it! Onwards?
me: I have pressed pause - can I get a drink and then the next eppy???
Episode Three
The Myrka rears its head out of the sea and gives the Beagle a good kicking!
Andrew: Will anyone attempt to Kung-Fu kick it this time?
me: That Myrka sounds bloody terrifying! And Colin Baker makes the situation so dramatic - Davison just sounded embarrassed in Warriors of the Deep!
Andrew: Do you blame him? There really should have been another way.
me: Ha! Indeed, they should have canned that show
What could the Myrka possibly want?
Andrew: A proper threat this time! It's attracted to something....does it want to mate with the boat?
me: Uh oh I've got a bad feeling about this...remember what I said about Greta...
Andrew: Is she the transmitter? Let it eat her!
me: Oh no poor Greta! Electrocuted!
Andrew: C'mon, are you really disappointed? I bet he's not THAT sorry.
me: Dead as a Greta! That will have to be our new saying whenever somebody is electrocuted!
Andrew: Elgretrocuted!
me: hahaha! Love it!
T’lok the Silurian has another (familiar) plan up his sleeve…
Andrew: A plague eh? Where have I seen that before?
me: Hmm this plot seems similar but that was a very exciting set piece with the Myrka
Andrew: It's the same! Plus Myrka.
me: They never would have been able to pull that off on TV - the joys of audio because in my mind that all looked fantastic!
Andrew: Modified lizards! Good grief!
me: A giant sea creature attacking the Beagle! Get in!
Andrew: Yep, they've wandered off Doctor. Hardly surprising, is it?
Darwin is close to finalising his theory of evolution…
me: Darwin is having his own little discussion. 'There was no Eden!' what a great line
Andrew: Take that religion!
The Doctor offers Lawson the choice to be frees from the Silurian influence…
me: This is a great scene with Lawson - he chooses not to be freed from Silurian control because he cant handle what he has done - that's some pretty deft characterisation for an extraneous character
Andrew: "I am a very very difficult man to kill." Love it! He's loving the hypnotism this story, isn't he? Makes me wish he'd done it more on TV!
Fitzroy seems to have his own motto just in case a toy comes out…
me: 'That is absolutely monstrous!' - he loves saying that, doesn't he?
Andrew: It's like a catchphrase now, isn't it?
me: He should take one look at the Doctor's coat and say 'that is absolutely monstrous!' Here's the bit I was talking about...its fantastic
Andrew: Hahaha! Very well written.
The Doctor leaves as soon as Lawson refuses…
me: 'He's made his choice' and the Doctor whisks away - he's not one for giving people second chances is Sixie
Andrew: He's that sort of a man.
me: Ha 'Not a ventilation shaft in sight!' Evelyn is already working out all the clichés
There’s something different about this adventure…
Andrew: Great scene between Darwin and Evelyn here.
me: Normally it would be the Doctor that gets all the scenes with the famous historical character but Evelyn is more than strong enough to hold her own in these scenes
Andrew: She's more his equal than many companions have been.
me: Very true and she gets even stronger as time goes on. I still don't think Big Finish have topped her with their other original companions. Although some of the others have been very good, Evelyn just works
Andrew: It's nice that she puts her foot down from the start and the Doctor knows there's no point trying to fob her off with anything less than the truth.
me: Her chemistry with Colin Baker is superb, such a shame they have spent so much of this story apart Uh oh...its a larder! 'Absolutely monstrous!' of course!
Andrew: True, but there's plenty more to come! And this story works better because they're apart.
The Doctor and Fitzroy come across the Silurian larder…
Urgh! A truly horrid image.
me: Meat hanging from hooks - people? Ugh!
Andrew: It's like that episode of Torchwood, without the swears.
me: And the sex
Andrew: Surely they should eat the Doctor - he's at his largest in this incarnation.
me: Well except Evelyn and Darwin
Andrew: Yeah, all that rutting out of earshot - thankfully.
Lawson suffers a terrible death as a test subject of the Silurian plague…
me: Stupid, stupid Lawson...
Andrew: Serves him right!
me: Oh my God! That was absolutely disgusting...it sound like he melted!
Andrew: That's worse than Geoffrey Palmer's death in the original - so fast too!
me: I'm glad we didn't get to see it - it was stomach churning enough just to hear it!
Andrew: Fits in well with the Baker era though!
me: I hadn't thought of that. Evelyn's chipping in with disgust 'that's horrible!'
Andrew: Greta would have been deep fried for them already - like a takeaway to them.
me: Do you reckon the Myrka ate her after he electrocuted her?
A flashback to the beginning of the story where Shuvak saves T’lok from being expelled…
Andrew: Probably. Hungry after all that rampaging. Little recognition of the twist to come...
me: Oh back to the start again...nice to see what happened after he was left screaming in the wilderness. Silly, silly Shuvak
Andrew: What's happened to his 'creatures'....?
me: T'lok has a serious God complex, doesn't he? 'My creatures!' He sounds like a Silurian Davros
Andrew: Ooh, hadn't thought of that. Good parallel.
me: Not quite as distinct as Davros though but he's still a good ranting villain. Oh shitty sticks...he's going to have his REVENGE!
Andrew: Much more threatening than that terrible imp thing in Lanyon Moor though.
Darwin declares that God does not exist and man evolved through natural selection…
me: Oh yeah that thing and its puppet Mrs Monyahan! This is strong stuff now - Jonny Morris actually stating that evolution was down to blind chance and not a divine being
Andrew: Another great Darwin speech
me: I don't know if the series would have had the guts to play that scene out - JNT probably would have vetoed it. Lovely Colin Baker moment
Andrew: Definitely. On both counts.
T’lok steps in and declares that he created mankind. And he is our God!
me: Wowza, another great cliffhanger.
Andrew: So there we go! Man was a result of the Silurian's experiments!
me: That's pretty bold stuff!
Andrew: Killer twist though!
me: Does it make a mockery of Azal and the Jagaroth pushing along humanity for their own needs???
Andrew: It probably still fits in somehow. If you squint. Last one?
me: Lets do it!
Episode four
Andrew: Wooooo ooooo ooooo. A classic, but I'm still a stickler for having the right one with the right Doctor!
me: That’s because we are sad fanboys...
Andrew: Indeed!
me: 'I am your God!' Go on...say it! 'You are absolutely monstrous!'
Andy puts the pieces together…
Andrew: I'm guessing he didn't make them completely, but rather evolved them faster than they would have naturally. There you go!
me: Ooh that’s why there isn't a missing link! Doctor Who filling in the gaps in history again. You clever git Morris! Hahaha! 'I'd put down some pesticide!' Oh Evelyn you crack me up!
Andrew: It's good when gaps like that exist to be filled. She's got it though!
There seems to be something missing from this story…
No Gary Russell cameo today. Can't say I'm disappointed.
me: There has to be one! It would be like a Hitchcock film without a cameo!
Andrew: Maybe he was a Silurian at some point. Or one of these 'apes'.
me: Dreadful actor, that man Russell. He should stick to what he does best - produce and direct!
Andrew: Indeed. Don't let him near a keyboard either. His writing's as 'good' as his acting. No, that said, some of it is ok. No brilliant, but ok,
me: I don’t want to be too hard on him because he kicked started this wonderful company and directed too many of its classics...but the ones he wrote - Zagreus! Ugh!
Andrew: Oh the irony of criticising someone's writing and then filling it with typos!
me: Big difference between typos and hole ridden plots, atrocious dialogue, awkward characterisation...
Andrew: True. And at least I recognised MY errors. Silurians have human puppets. Wonder if they put on a good Punch and Judy show?
me: Hahaha! I remember he whinging and saying that fans were ungrateful for criticising what he tried to do with the Divergent universe...he used to be a vicious reviewer for DWM! Don't dish it if you can't take it!
Andrew: Indeed! Good explanation for the lack of fossils!
me: Tar pits or fogous?
Andrew: AAAARGH! NO MORE FOGOOOOOOUS!
me: 'All of human life just a brief candle in the night...' Sixie is so poetic
Andrew: He's so much improved on audio!
Some similarities to Genesis of the Daleks…
me: Again he is like Davros, killing his own people so he can work on 'his creatures' that they wanted to put a stop to
It’s a Silurian smack down!
Andrew: A third eye off!
me: Battle of third eyes! Die die dieeeeee! hahahah!
Andrew: Which is better - Shuvak or T’lok? There's only one way to find out....FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!
me: Now that is one Harry Hill I would like to see
Andrew: They'd just stand there, wobbling at each other!
me: Darwin is really treated intelligently - he has a few too many monologues but his dialogue is so interesting
T’lok is talking about genocide…
Andrew: Extermination! Your Davros parallel is ever more apt!
me: Oh Evelyn - always trying the 'pretend I'm ill' trick!
Andrew: It's like Darwin is thinking he's writing in his diary aloud. See, he does want to eat the Doctor!
me: Actually when put like that it is quite an interesting device! Imagine if Darwin had gone along with them? 'You mean you're with us...lizard!' hahaha!
Andrew: A pre-Mary Shelley type companion - very interesting.
me: Yeah that might have been interesting Listen to how charismatic Colin Baker is! I love him!
Despite the danger, the Doctor and Evelyn are having a blast…
Andrew: Loved that Evelyn reminds him to say 'over'. They're loving this! Reminds me of Caves when Peri reminds the Doctor to say 'Sir' to Chellak. Hang on, Chellak, Shuvak...what the....?
me: Hah!
T’lok’s childhood is called into question…
Andrew: "Perhaps he had a domineering mother." Hah!
me: 'Perhaps he had a domineering mother! Snap!
Andrew: It's all starting to wind up now. Confrontation with the villain.
Suddenly everybody is having a pop. Mind control is going awry and everyone is shouting!
me: Its actually quite a traditional tale despite the big twist about humanity but a very confident one. What’s all this shouting? They're giving me a headache!
Andrew: It is a good one. Perhaps a few too many moments where people stop and chat, but made up for with the action. Ouch! Hold on Joe! Concentrate!
me: Oooh this is badly realised - that could have been done a lot better. Oh Evelyn, commenting on the Silurian decor!
Andrew: That was a LOT of noise. Slightly better now.
Darwin only has faith in one thing now…
me: Darwin using his faith in natural selection is a lovely touch. Cementing his beliefs
Andrew: "You are not our god! There is no god!" Great defiance and belief in his own ideas.
me: Oh no - Evelyn's terrible hypnotised acting!
Andrew: At least that's WHY it's bad though!
me: True!
Andrew: That was line from Castrovalva! "You created us (man of evil), but now we are free!"
me: Good point! There have been a number of similarities to other stories but it hasn't affect my enjoyment one jot
The Doctor turns the Myrka on its master…
Andrew: Same here. It's nice to touch on the past, and the plague makes complete sense as the 'pesticide'. Uh-oh, the Myrka's after them! Haha!
me: Its the Myrka! Chasing T'lok! I love that sonar sound effect
Andrew: BOOM!
me: The way it gets faster makes it very dramatic. Like all good villains T'lok gets a 'Nooooooo!' parting line! 'Have you tried pressing the button?' The Doctor and Evelyn together - its like eating lindt chocolate whilst having a massage...pure bliss!
Andrew: A lovely little ending now too, with the enemy dispatched and peaceful surroundings once again.
me: Yeah its almost perfect traditional Who! Ha! Alfred Wallace! Remember I mentioned him during episode one!
Andrew: It'd be interesting if they met Darwin again at some point. Oh yes you did
me: The history books might have been different had Wallace published first
Andrew: Well, there we go - a cracking little story. Not always fond of old villains turning up, but Morris made them work well.
me: Well I thought that was smashing - perhaps a little too tradition for all its bold twists but a confidently told, intelligently written tale with plenty of good performances more great Doctor/Evelyn action and a great use of an old monster! Very good stuff! Ooh Project Twilight next!
Andrew: I was checking through Morris' main range ones, and he's written less than I thought. Yes, looking forward to that!
me: Yeah a lot of his stuff is in the spin offs - The Glorious Revolution, two Jago and Litefoot’s (both excellent)...
Still I think its about 20 plus audios in total and that’s pretty prolific
Andrew: I enjoyed The Glorious Revolution, but not The Beautiful People so much.
me: I liked Tales from the Vault
Andrew: That was good. Nice little vignettes strung together well.
me: Yeah and his eighth Doctor stuff was good too - I always get excited when I see his name in the schedules cause its usually always a winner
Andrew: There are a few like that for me - Morris, Marc Platt, Jac Rayner...
me: Yeah - Platt has had a few duds but he's usually quality - Rayner hasn’t written that many but I cant think of one of hers that I didn’t like. The Suffering was good but nothing spectacular but that’s the only I can think of
Andrew: I really enjoyed The Suffering!
Next Time: Project Twilight
