Archeological Adventuress: Bernice is entirely flattered
when asked if she is the Bernice Summerfield until she realises they are
talking about the President of Earth and not noted scholar and archaeologist.
Professor Scoblow has booked some pretty bad academics in her time but Benny is
the only one to have almost started (and entirely averted) a nuclear and
delivered a sloppy paper! By a matter of complete co-incidence as soon as she
turns up on Eros a marauding bunch of space Nazis from the neighbouring world
are about to attack! She’s been at this lark for so long now that the news
doesn’t even break her out in a sweat. Since Jason died Bernice hasn’t had the
time to even consider the fact that she has lost the love of her life and the
idea of being sent on a date fills her with dread. How could she betray the
memory of the man she once loved so much? However once she spots the Ambassador
and sees how ruggedly handsome he is she wonders if actually this is exactly
what she needed. To her chargin he declares her not a particularly decent
replica of a human being and the President of Earth is much more convincing!
She has to endure some serious scrutiny on her date including the fact that she
is looking a little older than her Presidential counterpart. Its too soon for
Benny to pursue anything sexual at the moment but at least she has been
reminded of what is out there.
Angry Adolescent: Peter is in the safe hands of Adrian
whilst Bernice is off trying to squirrel away with Jason’s fortune. Benny
thinks this is a good opportunity for her son to spend some time with his dad
but he seems more interested in the logic programme that was embedded in
Braxiatel’s hard drive. Peter exhibits no surprise when he turns on the news to
discover the moon where his mother is located has broken out with riots.
Sparkling Dialogue: ‘Its an emotional whore house for
anti-social ego maniacs!’
‘We must stand up to the Thanatossers!’
Great Ideas: Calling the moon Eros is inevitable when you
are right next to Venus, but Benny thinks its trite. Scoblow has a number of
love drones of Quinn on staff; they use state of the art cerebral profological
mapping techniques to match up all your needs and desires. They literally tell
you what you want to hear. Its easy to
have an assignation with a love drone because they never have an agenda, only
to please you. The most exciting idea
that this story flaunts is Peter being abducted and that is revealed in the
very last scene.
Isn’t it Odd: After their initial bout of lust Bernice is
trying desperately to not fall into bed with the Ambassador and in some painful
sequences she tries every method to prevent that from happening. Its not farce
because Benny is hurting like hell and its not drama because of the smut (‘I
plugged a socket or two whilst I was at college!’). It falls between the two
stools and is really uncomfortable to listen to. I find the Pakhar’s to
be a bit tiresome if I’m honest. I don’t think they were the most imaginatively
conjured up race and they are usually played for (not terribly funny) laughs.
They often prove to be the thing that tips a story that is already pretty lousy
over the precipice (Bang-Bang-a-Boom!) and in their hurried, helium inspired
delivery are quite ridiculous to listen to. Scoblow is such a bitchy character
there is no chance that there was ever going to be a spark of sympathy for her.
When Safton started making his indecipherable speech to the riotous crowd I had
completely lost the plot and was losing the will to live. It goes on forever.
Jason has died and the range has barely had time to explore what that means to
its characters and this is the best epilogue they could think up? How his
xeno-pornagraphy featured sentient hamsters and his voracious sexual appetite
is how he is remembered? I was hoping for something a little more subtle than
that. By having the Outland Revenue representative turn up at the climax and
take the loins share of the cash means that this whole adventure was ultimately
pointless too. And the trip to Absence to get here.
Standout Scene: I always find love making scenes a little
uncomfortable on audio and find myself stifling giggles! With lots of heavy
breathing, kissy kissy and groaning noises Bernice and the Ambassador let us
very up close and personal in a lift! I was hoping they would avoid the
‘Ambassador you are spoiling me!’ gag but like day follows night it inevitably
turns up.
Result: Do you know I am not at all sure what Venus Mantrap
was all about? Its one of those stories where the scenario and the tone of the
piece are so at odds with each other that neither the drama nor the comedy
works especially well. On the one hand you have a great big war looming on the
horizon and on the other you have Bernice pretending (for the second time this
season no less) to be an artificial version of herself and providing a pleasurable
evening to the man who could stop it. It’s a massive leap forward for Bernice
who hasn’t been with a man since Jason died but the deluge of smutty jokes robs
these scenes of any emotional worth. After Glory Days and Absence I would have
thought that anything that John Ainsworth touches in this range would turn to
gold but the direction falters too with the tone far too quiet and the pace
languid. For once it does feel like a minimalist cast in a studio rather than a
fully immersive world on the brink of war. In its best stories this range can
conjure up some epic storytelling very economically but there’s something about
the small scale of Venus Mantrap that makes it feel like a Doctor Who story
that is trying to convince that something ambitious is happening with a few
sets and actors. There’s no reason why that should be the case on audio. Lisa
Bowerman makes this as listenable as ever but this is probably the weakest
story in the range for quite some time and one that tarnishes Jason’s
(admittedly not very flattering) memory in a particularly sordid way: 4/10
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