Death and the Queen written by James Goss and directed by Nicholas Briggs

What’s it about: Donna Noble has never been lucky in love. So when, one day, her Prince does come, she is thrilled to have the wedding of all weddings to look forward to. Though the Doctor isn’t holding his breath for an invitation. And her future mother-in-law is certainly not amused.  But on the big day itself, Donna finds her castle under siege from the darkest of forces, marching at the head of a skeleton army. When it looks like even the Doctor can’t save the day, what will Queen Donna do to save her people from Death itself?

Mockney Dude: ‘No man’s ever going to be good enough for my Donna…’ The Doctor manages to turn up at every single one of Donna’s date with some irritatingly fact or declaration. Way to kill the romance, Doc. If you don’t like David Tennant at his all time most energetic and squeakiest then this might not be the audio for you…but it is completely authentic to the era. Donna wonders if the Doctor is going to ruin all of her weddings. It’s a distinct possibility. She has a point when she says that whenever she threatens to have a day that is all about her that he somehow manages to make it all about him. Why is it when the Doctor is a portent of doom that nobody ever listens to him? He admits (but doesn’t want Donna to know) that some people aren’t worth saving. The Doctor is happy to admit that he isn’t happy about Donna leaving him to go hobnobbing amongst royalty. There comes a point with most of his companions where he is blissfully happy with them and there always comes a time where it seems they have had enough or they get a better offer. He wonders why he never gets the chance to catch his breath between those unhappy departures and the next friend that walks in on his life. Donna asked for the Doctor to be silenced but not in a permanent way. I’m sure there is a corner of fandom who would punch the air at that request. He doesn’t do revolutions on a Tuesday.

Tempestuous Temp: ‘Don’t you start with your Web of Time whatnot…’ There’s that immediate sense of the enormous dash of fun that tenth Doctor had with Donna. It felt, for a time, that all was right with the universe as these two knocked about from one exciting destination to the next revelling in the sheer freshness of everything. It’s only been captured by one or two TARDIS teams (think the fourth Doctor and Sarah Jane and the fourth Doctor and Romana II). The romance between Donna and Rudolph feels very convincing, very quickly and that’s mostly because she so easily falls for the charm of all the wrong men. Donna is so blasé about her duties as Queen that she sounds the War horn just for a laugh, almost sending them to war. She’s not the favourite of her Mother in Law, which is the understatement of the century. When a cloud creature begins raining death on people Donna does her usual schtick of reminding the Doctor to stop being a smart arse and get on with saving people. God, I love her. She can joke about the fact that she has an entire armed force at her disposal but when the shit hits the fan and they are sent to die in her name, she refuses to fail to acknowledge that that is exactly what is happening. One of the strengths of the companions of latter day Who is that they acknowledge people who are looked down and upon and remind that they are people too. Donna does it with her maid in this story, telling her to stop thinking of herself in terms of her position. She might a pretty bumpy track record when it comes to men but even she is not marrying Death. The one thing nobody will get marrying Donna is a bit of peace, so Rudolph had completely the wrong idea. Who hasn’t wanted to call their mother in law an evil old prune? She essentially tells her potential spouse to grow a pair and to get in touch when he does. What a woman.

Standout Performance: It would be hugely remiss of me not to mention how stunning Catherine Tate is in this release, just as she always is when the spotlight shines brightly on Donna. I love how she refuses to play for laughs but instead manages to be very funny whilst still focussing on the dramatic elements of the script (of which there are many). Alice Krige also makes a great impression, understandably. It’s a very classy cast overall.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘I’ve got an army!’
‘Fancy a quick trip round my ramparts?’
‘Hello Death…is it me you’re looking for?’
‘For Donna, I do!’
‘I’ve had worse first dates. Death here’s just asked me to dance’ – me too Donna, me too…
‘And when you get a chance, look up the word Republic.’

Great Ideas: I almost spat out my coffee when the Doctor dares to suggest that sonic screwdriver isn’t a magic wand that can just make things go away. Terrance Dicks and Barry Letts are nodding away in agreement as that is exactly what the device has become in the new series. Admittedly it was even worse during the Matt Smith era. Nowadays Jodie Whittaker is brandishing it as if it as a weapon.

Isn’t it Odd: If I had one complaint it would be that the pre-titles sequence feels a little rushed a bit sloppily edited. It feels like Donna being the Queen is supposed to be a huge reveal but given we have had no chance to apprise ourselves of the situation, figure out where we are, why the Doctor is so panic stricken or how Donna has become the Queen it feels like a twist a twist has been dropped in our laps with no context whatsoever.

Standout Scene: There’s a terrific scene where the Doctor/Donna chemistry is at its height (basically the whole story) when they are both talking at each other but not listening to each other and having completely separate conversations. They bounce of each other so well, these two. I know that’s a given these days and celebrated but it’s always worth remarking on it because it isn’t always this effortless between regulars on this show. Or charming. Or funny.

Result: ‘Death is staring at me!’ A story that looks like it is going to be the knockout comedy of the set and turns into something far darker and more disturbing and doing the one thing that is guaranteed to get me rivetted to the speakers; putting Donna Noble through the wringer. I really loved how I was completely lulled into a false sense of security in the quirky and witty opening ten minutes and how quickly the story turns on a sixpence into murder, domestic violence and madness. It reminds me of a Donald Cotton script but gets to the point far quicker than ‘episode four.’ Donna has always been unlucky in love and this time she picks somebody that makes Lance look like a real winner. Their relationship goes from charming to disturbing to downright homicidal. It’s a story that manages to take place over a fair period of time but squeeze convincingly into an hour; painting a convincing picture of the royal setting, throwing in some action, a fascinating mother/son relationship and more witty lines than you could shake a stick at. David Tennant and Catherine Tate are held in high regard by fandom and you only have to listen to this story to understand why. It’s a chemistry rarely matched between two actors in the show and Death and the Queen sees them at their height. There’s even some gorgeous twists in the climax that I never saw coming, delivered by Tennant and showcasing the tenth Doctor at his dazzling best. The media’s darling was the so for a reason…he’s pure charisma. And we were very lucky to secure the services for Catherine Tate for an entire years’ worth of stories, and now additional audios. Energy, wit, surprise, darkness; this is wonderful stuff: 10/10