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Friday, 24 May 2019

The Iron Legion written by Pat Mills & Jon Wagner (adapted by Alan Barnes) and directed by Nicholas Briggs

What’s it about: 1979 AD! Led by the terrible General Ironicus, the mighty Iron Legion – robot veterans of the Eternal War – have come, seen and conquered the English village of Stockbridge! Caught up in the mayhem, the Doctor pursues the Legion back through the great Dimension Duct to their place of origin – an alternative Earth where Rome never fell… But can he survive the horrors of the gladiatorial Hyp-Arena long enough to uncover the terrifying secret at the heart of the Galactic Roman Empire?

Teeth and Curls: ‘Eccy Eccy Eccy! Ogg Ogg Ogg!’ Why does Tom Baker sound more like the Doctor of his television period in a story which isn’t a part of a range that is trying to capture his television period? This is a hugely assured, charismatic performance with the sort of animated material that brings out his younger self. I hate to render the role of the companion defunct but Tom baker was right when he suggested that his Doctor could go it alone in the universe! He spends this story dancing from one peril to another, witty and effervescent and commanding the audiences attention all on his own. He’s been all out of jelly babies ever since he took off from Zagger Six so a quick trip to England to the local shops is just the ticket. Hearing Tom Baker talk about his old enemy WOTAN makes this worth the admission price alone. The Doctor thinks nothing of decapitating a robot before breakfast just in case it blows a fuse over his non-terrestrial nature. How like the fourth Doctor to wake up facing the horrific Ectoslime creature and doff his hat and say ‘hello there!’ Very Creature from the Pit. How glorious that he manages to save himself from being drunk by telling as particularly good joke. His relationship with Morris is instantly charming, refusing to be frightened of the cyborg and telling him he is beautiful and talking in his broken English. Worth just hear the Doctor say ‘keep up mate!’ It’s a good job that each TARDIS carries a few spare dimensions as standard and the Doctor uses one to his advantage at the end of this tale. ‘Bye Bye Magog!’

Standout Performance: Huge kudos to Brian Protheroe who has the thankless task of bringing the broadly written Ironicus to life. I listen to a lot of audios and so I hear an awful lot of voices and it is the ones that make me pause, drawing attention to themselves due to the inflection, the performance or the delivery that really stand out. I kept being drawn to Protheroe in The Iron Legion, he was still the boastful bully of the comic but he managed to make some memorable out of that role all the same. A shout out to both Joseph Kloska and Toby Longworth as Morris and Vesuvius, two difficult roles to play who manage to walk the fine line between humour and pathos very effectively.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘What an interesting salad, you should give it a name!’ ‘Great Caesar!’ ‘Oh, that’s a good name.’
‘Oh I say my trident! You’ve melted it!’ might just be the campest thing I’ve ever heard in a Doctor Who story. And that is up against some pretty stiff competition.
‘You’ve heard it before I can tell.’
‘I couldn’t help but notice your head seems to be erupting.’
‘Well said Viv Bytheway!’
‘Not to me, you prannet!’ I don’t know what a prannet it is but I can only imagine it is the most heinous insult in this universe.
‘Empress of the Empty Dimension and Queen of the Big Zero!’

Great Ideas: I never used to have much love for the Doctor Who comics. It was a part of the magazine that I just couldn’t get my head around. A story told in static pictures? How does that work? More fool me. I waited until I had pretty much exhausted every other option when it came to exploring Doctor Who and then I bought one that came recommended. The first eighth Doctor graphic novel. I loved it, and there was a surprising amount of energy and momentum that could be built up with static pictures and dialogue. I was especially surprised by the intense characterisation that could be packed in an eight-page instalment. So, I bought another. And another. Eventually I had an empty wallet and the entire collection. My favourites were split into three periods – the 4th, 6th and 8th Doctor’s eras (with a huge mention for the latter day 10th Doctor stuff too). I had less joy with the 3rd, 5th, 7th and 11th Doctors but that was more down to the style of the artwork and the writing of those eras. The lack of budget meant that for once Doctor Who was as big budget and unlimitless as I always imagined it to be. The Iron Leigon was a particular delight. Bursting with wit, beautiful artwork and a crazy imaginative story, it really leapt from the page as one of the most memorable adventures the 4th Doctor had ever had. An alternative Earth where Rome never fell but instead developed a sophisticated technology and robot legions and conquered the galaxy is still one of the best ideas to ever have been dreamed up by any writer of a Doctor Who story. It made for a visually stunning comic strip and it makes an equally imaginative audio setting. The dimension duct is what allows the Iron Legion to travel to other worlds and conquer. The twist that the Emperor of this false Rome is nothing but a child works even better on audio. Eccy the Ectoslime creature has acid drool that he uses to liquefy his victims before he drinks them! What a way to go. The people of Stockbridge are being offered as sacrifices to the Malevilus, five hideous siblings from galactic mythology. Four evil brothers and most foul of all their sister Magog! Somehow their legend crossed the dimensional divide into Gallifreyan records. The Bestiarus are beast men genetically engineered super soldiers created by orders of the mad false emperor. They smashed everything in sight and had to be contained, that’s why they turned to robot technology. The General murdered the Empress when the Emperor was but a babe in arms.

Audio Landscape: The opening is double punch of madness featuring robot Romans attacking rural England and it could have been terribly confusing but Alistair Lock is on hand – not a name I see enough attached to Big Finish releases – to make sure that it is perfectly comprehensible. There are sequences that are told from the robot legionnaires point of view. Did Lock manage to get a recording of Magog transforming in real life? It sounds so real.

Musical Cues: Lock provided the first score for the Big Finish story I heard – Oh No It Isn’t – and his music for The Iron Legion is every bit as memorable. I love the dramatic militaristic theme for the Legion approaching, it gives the story an immediate sense of pace and excitement. The comical cues were a delight.

Standout Scene: The concept of having a commentator announcing the cliffhanging endings to try and lure back the punter in the next episode is a genius one. What a fantastic way of being able to tell the listener what is going on without having to resort to having the actors describe their every move (although there is a fair amount of that here too). This is cheeky beyond imagining, and very funny. I don’t quite know how or why but in both comic strip and audio form, the Death of Morris is very affecting. ‘Morris get to Rust in Peace.’

Result: ‘My Doug! And he’s more than stupid enough to lead a rebellion!’ I don’t think a first episode of a Big Finish adventure has ever flown by so quickly with its stunning central concept, terrific soundscape and musical score and star turn from Tom Baker who fits into this barmy comic strip world perfectly. The strip bounced from one hugely creative idea to another with stunning artwork from Dave Gibbons making the transitions in the plot seamless and visually stimulating. Alistair Lock takes his place on audio and more than does the story justice, creating a number of immersive soundscapes and a fully realised alternative Earth. The Doctor slips effortlessly into this broadly drawn world, a perfect prototype of who he would be at his glittering best in the Williams era and he is aided by two desperately sweet robots and a mouthy pair from Stockbridge making this a jolly team effort. I would have liked to have seen more from this five but perhaps they work so well because they are in this story and wouldn’t bring much to something a little shadier. How the story saves its secrets for the end of episode three is dazzling, a flashback to the past that reveals how things have come to be such a bloodthirsty mess. This the story where the Doctor fights a massive slime creature by telling it a joke, makes friends by simply being kind, flies a skimmer through a huge window with robot companions, and uses a herd of robotic elephants to save the day. I have heard many a 2-hour Big Finish story that has felt like it has stretched a simple story to an interminable length but The Iron Legion is one of those tales that fits perfectly into the four-episode format with plenty of incident, twists and turns and engaging characters to see the distance. I might be giving this full marks because I love the source material so much, because it made me smile from ear to ear throughout thanks to its sunny content or simply because it captures the innocence of childhood so spectacularly and excitingly. Briggs and Lock need to get together again soon. Bring back Vesuvius!: 10/10

1 comment:

  1. This audio was incredibly difficult for me. I still haven't' made it to the second story. It reminds me of the worst excesses and pantomime nature of some of Tom's least favorite area.

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