VOY- The Disease

Plot – The sex disease episode - every series of Trek has one and this Voyager’s especially egregious example. Why do they all feel the need to try and titillate like this and to create false drama out of something so awkward. Trek is a pretty circumcised show in reality, for all its handsome men and pretty women and the manifest of one-shot romance stories. And when they try and think outside the box like this and do an episode about STDs (which could be potentially very interesting) they always, without exception, suck. Voyager gets one thing right in that it wastes a Harry Kim episode on this nonsense hence it is killing two birds with one stone (TNG and DS9 exposed their entire crews in this sort of farce and the results were nobody came of especially well) but honestly that is about all it does do well. 

‘Frankly we’re had a rough time in the Delta Quadrant ourselves…’ When was that exactly? Ship looks the same, crew looks the same, show looks the same.

‘And what we did earlier… I don’t think Starfleet even has a regulation for that!’ Kirk wrote the rulebook on sex with other species, I’m sure there must be a rulebook about somewhere.

How awkward to have characters investigating unusual acts on Voyager that turn out to be Harry Kim’s sex capers.

Ultimately the Varo are one of the dullest alien races that we have encountered on Star Trek, failing to ignite any interest. Everything is so by the numbers, right down to their rigid protocol and monotonous rebel faction.

Character – As soon as Harry Kim is bonking the life out of somebody and turning a ghostly shade of white you know that something particularly painful is about to go down. Harry is being portrayed as somebody button shirted who wants to break the rules and have some fun but his natural instinct is to obey orders. The truth is we’re nearly at the shows sixth season and Harry hasn’t evolved at all from the pilot. He’s still just as green, just as vanilla, just as safe a character as he always was. Look at somebody like Nog on DS9 who from the first episode to the sixth season goes on an incredible journey and you can see how that show was nurturing even its secondary characters whilst Voyager was entirely neglecting certain members of its main cast. Janeway asks if Harry is willing to risk his career over Tal but given he has seen no career progression in six years I can see why he’s not exactly frightened to jeopardise it.

Janeway, mucky faced, sleeves rolled up, acting the engineer. She’s very well characterised here, getting down and dirty and helping a culture to get on their feet. The way she chews Harry out feels both professional and personal and I like how Chakotay questions which is the dominant factor.

Do Tom Paris and Harry Kim pass the Reverse Bechdel Test? I swear they are only ever talking about women when they are together. Either his relationship with B’lanna, or who they are trying to conquer in the early seasons (Kes, the Delaney sisters).

Performance – I have to give Wang some kudos, he is at least trying to make this pale romance feel like something significant for Harry. The point where he is brought to task by Janeway is a bit of a sticking point though, since Wang genuinely looks like he is going to cry.

Production – The opening shot is both praiseworthy (the CGI is impressively scaled and imaginatively executed) and groan worthy (it’s the best moment in the episode). It’s all downhill from there. The Varo ship breaking into separate pods is quite the spectacle. The score is stirring and it feels like an impactful moment.

Best moment – Harry Kim having an illicit late-night sex Skype call. Speaking as somebody who indulged once or twice, I can fully empathise in the private pleasure of this.

At least they didn’t go down the route of Tal seducing Harry to get something she wants. Their feelings are genuine, even if their romance is dreary.

‘Have you ever been in love, Captain?’ ‘Your point?’ is the best exchange. Janeway has no time for the hideous idealistic excesses of this episode either.

I love the Janeway/Harry fight that spills over onto the Bridge because it highlights what a strong character she is (she lets him talk but also threatens him quite firmly) and what a petulant little sap Harry is when he doesn’t get his own way. The mother/son dynamic between these two has never been more pronounced.

Worst moment – ‘From the moment we first met. It was like touching an open plasma relay’ Something Star Wars and Star Trek has in common, hideous romantic dialogue that makes you want to crawl into a hole and die. ‘You’re glowing’ from Seven is supposed to be a witty line but it misses the mark completely. ‘It’s an old story. Boy meets girl from the wrong side of the galaxy…boy loses girl’ – yeah that’s the epic love story across the ages alright. ‘You’re beautiful when you’re scanning…’

Harry having to tell the Doctor he has an STD. Just excruciating.

In the last scene Harry suggests that he has changed in the last five years and Janeway agrees. But there’s no proof of this anywhere in the previous five seasons of the show.

I wish they hadn’t done that – I’m all for promoting imaginative depictions of alien species but my word…did they have to suggest that the Varo are so perplexing when it comes to their reproductive systems and sexual acts. I had all sorts walking through my mind from the possibility of them being a hermaphrodite species to all kinds of depraved sexual acts.

A reason to watch this episode again – Everybody is characterised quite authentically here and there are cute moments scattered about but the premise, the plot, the execution and the resolution are all so vanilla for a piece that is trying to push the envelope that I simply cannot endorse this. There’s nothing worse than a show that is trying to be sexy and failing or trying to be risky and falling on its face. The trouble is Harry is a terrible bore and he’ll always be a terrible bore and trying to suggest otherwise is a waste of time. The A story is a struggle and the B story is interminable. Side by side you have an episode that crashes and burns very early and never recovers.

*1/2 out of *****

Clue for tomorrow's episode: