DS9 – The Emperors New Cloak

Plot – This is a great episode to review for so many reasons. It’s an episode I can use to gauge my feeling for DS9 against my feeling for the other Star Trek shows. I have been accused in the past of favouring DS9 against TNG and VOY and maybe there is an element of truth in that. Purely because DS9 ticks so many more of my boxes of what I like to see in a television series than the other Star Trek shows do. To ignore that and treat them as if I love them all on the same level would be dishonest. However, in reviewing these episodes for this challenge I have taken a tough stance with myself and said because I am watching random episodes of random shows that I need to look at them individually and judge them by the same standards. That’s probably why I have had a more favourable reaction to some Voyager episodes this time around, how I have managed to find nice things to say about Enterprise and why TNG is suffering the most (because I am starting to think that certain episodes of TNG have aged the worst). The Emperors New Cloak is my least favourite episode of the last season of DS9, a season I prize very dearly. It’s probably my least favourite episode of DS9 overall. So, to highlight it against the episodes I have already seen from the other shows I am looking at will be a interesting experience. I don’t think I’ve seen this particular episode of DS9 for a decade.

If you hate alternative universe episodes (I don’t) and you hate Ferengi episodes (I don’t) then you might be in luck because the writers have decided to stick the two together and only fill one slot in the season. What you have in that case is an episode where the joys of both are cancelled out by the presence of both – in a situation that is already farcical, add another farcical element and suddenly the instalment is top heavy with mockery. To try and filter that out they add an element of sadism and sexuality that feels extremely uncomfortable amongst all the light heartedness and jokes. Tonally, it’s shot to hell and Ira Steven Behr admitted himself that they couldn’t fix the tone of this piece. That it was hard to judge. It’s because they were starting with a flawed premise by bringing these two subgenres together.

The Grand Nagus heading into the alternative universe for business opportunities is an idea that is primed for comedy. It’s exactly what he was trying to do with the Gamma Quadrant in the first season of DS9.

Character – On the one hand I want to abuse Behr and Beimler for taking an essentially sweet and charming character (Ezri) and turning her into a vampish, aggressive sex symbol because that is such a male fantasy stereotype after they have managed to create a female character who’s biggest strength is her huge empathy. On the other hand they only have a year with this character and I commend the many different facets they attempted to show off even if she did dominate the first half of the season to the detriment of some other characters (Jake).

Quark is the best characterised person here by miles. He’s smart enough to steal a cloaking device, loyal to a fault to his mother and the Nagus and capable of running rings around Garak.

Performance – I really like Rom as a character and he has developed in the most unexpected of ways over the shows seven years…but he’s the least enjoyable element of The Emperors New Cloak by a country mile. Grodenchik has no choice but to play lines that make Rom seem like a complete idiot (rather than the idiot he chose to play in the past). Quark is at least given his usual wiliness and Machiavellian plotting that makes him such an unusually sharp Ferengi. In contrast, Rom is just dumb.

It’s quite a clever performance from Nicole de Boer who is initially distinctly unlikable as mirror Ezri and makes you yearn for her more placid counterpart (so that’s how they get you to like her!) and yet as we get to know her and experience her life, she becomes somebody far more agreeable.

Best moment – I want to point out the jokes that actually land, because re-watching this there are far more that hit the spot than don’t. Quark asking the blessed exchequer to get rid of Bashir so he can open negotiations with Ezri is very in character, and at least he asks for him not to hurt the good Doctor. Rom and Quark carrying nothing through the corridors of Deep Space Nine is just pantomime enough to work, the funniest moment being when they put it down but because it is a cloaked cloaking device they can’t find it again. ‘You’re supposed to be the good guys!’ is a rare decent line from Rom. ‘It would be the smart move’ ‘Do we look smart to you?’ made me chuckle. I want to be better than the gag where the Regent tries out his new studded glove and punches the lights out of a subordinate…but I’m not.

Worst moment – Despite the funny performances of all involved, I never want to think about Kira (from any dimension) wanking off the Nagus, let alone see it!

I wish they hadn’t done that – Mirror Bariel turning up long after the character had been written out in our universe was a clever idea, even if the episode was ultimately a dud. Mirror Vic just happening to turn up in later years after his character has been introduced is implausible, and plain stupid. If it was trying to be cute, it failed.

Does Star Trek need more LGBT representation in the 90s? Oh boy, yes. Is it problematic that that only seems to happen when we skip into an alternate universe where homosexuality is equated with evil behaviour? For sure. Do those two things contradict each other and leave me very confused as to how I feel about the whole thing? Absolutely. The flirting between Ezri and Leeta would have been enough. The kiss with Kira is the most obvious approach and so lacks satisfaction.

The Mirror universe Kira was such a vital character in Crossover and remained an unpredictable and enjoyable element in all the subsequent episodes. So what happened here? It’s like the writers are working through a tick sheet (lesbian kiss, stab somebody, betray somebody, get away at the end) and forgetting that her inherent narcissism and selfishness was something that was worth exploring in depth. Now she’s just a comic book character and quite a tasteless one at that. It’s one of the few times I can recall seeing Nana Visitor struggle with her material and she has been given far more challenging things to do than this.

Ultimately the story is so unfocussed it’s like an Alfred Hitchcock movie without any of the skill. Are we following Quark’s thread? Ezri’s? The Intendents? The Regents? The Alliances? I have no idea and I don’t think the writers do either. They trip from one mildly amusing scene to another with no idea how they are going to wrap up a six-year arc satisfactorily. They want to bring it to some kind of positive conclusion and so they have the Alliance swoop in at the end and defeat the Regent as if that is enough to shift the balance of power in this entire universe. I’m pleased that Behr and Beimler don’t use this method of development in the prime universe otherwise DS9 would have quite a different reputation. Nobody gets a satisfying ending and I get the impression that another Regent is just waiting in the wings to take over and start the cycle of insanity all over again. By sticking the Ferengi and alternative universe stories together you get a half-hearted attempt at the former and no time to adequately close down the other. A shame. The whole thing is wrapped up in three minutes, which tells you everything about the substance that is here.

A reason to watch this episode again – Things I hadn’t spotted about The Emperor’s New Cloak before; that it is epic in scope and crosses universes, spaceships, stations and different warring parties plus has several gunfights and a space battle, that Quark is given some perceptive and insightful characterisation, some of the jokes really hit their mark, the mirror Ezri is a character that grows more in this one episode than some Voyager characters do in seven seasons and an uneasy sense of dark comedy pervades. There are still scenes that are trying hard to be funny that bomb, some awkward performances (Andrew Robinson tries but just doesn’t know what he is doing here) and a feeling that the alternative universe gag has reached the end of its mileage on DS9. But for an episode I truly despised, I found this surprisingly palatable in parts which I was not expecting.

**1/2 out of *****

Clue for tomorrow's episode: