Genetics of the Daleks written by Jonathan Morris and directed by Jamie Anderson

What’s it about: There are 10,000 humans in stasis aboard Starship Future. Ten thousand humans expecting to wake up on a distant planet, their new home. But twenty years into their journey, Starship Future takes on board fuel – and something else. Something that’s been waiting, frozen in space, for a very long time. Something malevolent. Something with a plan. Unless the Doctor can help, it looks like the people of Starship Future have no future at all... 

Teeth and Curls: The Doctor is travelling on his own and talking to himself, as is his want when that is the case (The Face of Evil, The Deadly Assassin). If I was going to listen to any Doctor rabbiting on to himself, it’s going to be Tom Baker. Is he funny haha or funny peculiar? Either way, he’ll get his nose blown off with this overcast bunch. He’s not just the Doctor, he’s entirely the Doctor (to this he is greeted with ‘Good grief – he’s an idiot!’) and I can’t help but think that is Tom Baker talking and not the character he is playing. I’ve heard him espouse something similar at conventions. He’s acting like something of an imbecile for a chunk of this story but it completely puts the crew at ease and allows him to get on with his work. The Doctor knows that saying ‘it’s just one Dalek’ has been the famous last words of countless civilisations. A Doctor who is paralysed by a Dalek weapon is still a dangerous intelligence, but for a moment he sounds defeated. When the Dalek admits that this is not the only Doctor he has encountered (I believe the eighth Doctor met him before this), the fourth Doctor cheekily asks if he is his favourite. 

Standout Performance: In a recent discussion with my podcast partner, Jack Shanahan, he made an observation that if you are going to tell a fresh Dalek story then you have to have a new take on the Dalek voice to truly capture the audience. I think that’s a fantastic point because it worked in Dalek, The Stolen Earth (‘I fleeeeew into the time vortex!’), Victory of the Daleks (say what you will about the chubby Daleks, the voices were terrifying), Into the Dalek (it’s pathetic hum of a voice as it explores fresh ideas), and Resolution (the terrifying Dalek mutant that is clinging to Linn’s sanity). All of those voices are courtesy of Nicholas Briggs and the man deserves massive kudos in his ability to flex his vocal chords (with additional technological assistance) to portray a diverse array of Dalek characters. He’s at it again here; a foreboding, daringly gentle purr of a voice as the Dalek mutant promises Brooke all the secrets that Skaro has to offer whilst simultaneously manipulating him to his will. It works because it is almost seductive in parts, gruesomely so. 

Great Ideas: You know that this crew is in for a shock when one of their number starts taking the piss out of the Daleks. His murder was assured at this point. They want to unlock its casing and steal its technological and defensive secrets inside. Is it possible to scream YOU STUPID FOOLS at an audiobook whilst your partner is in the next room without seeming like a complete madman? What is it about this Doctor and his ability to turn up on vessels that are guarding cryogenic numbers in their thousands and facing a threat to their existence? The Dalek plans to take cells from his own body and inject them into the sleepers (essentially what Davros did to create his army in The Stolen Earth). Imagine 10,000 humans being genetically polluted and turning into Dalek mutants? 

Standout Dialogue: ‘The creatures that exist inside these cases don’t abandon them without good reason.’ ‘My Masters orders are that you be brought to him alive’ ‘They sound like excellent orders! I suggest you obey them.’ ‘Out of any good must come something evil.’ 

Audio Landscape: It is very popular in the new series for the Daleks to turn up en masse, and to have some whacko SF explanation as to how another legion of them came to be (the Emperor Dalek gave part of himself in one story, Davros in another, and goodness knows where that Parliament came from in Asylum of the Daleks…or where they went more to the point) but Genetics of the Daleks actually goes to the lengths of letting you hear the birth of a new Dalek race invade your ears. It’s really unpleasant, but it certainly drives him the idea that something truly horrific and against nature is happening. ‘They’ve all been transformed. Even the children.’ We heard about obscene things happening during the Time War. It might not be enjoyable listening, but it is authentic evidence. 

Isn’t it Odd: I need to let you in on a little secret that probably won’t enamour me to anybody reading this review but I have zero interest in the whole Time Lord Victorious Empire that is slowly being assembled. In fact, part of me feels downright cheesed off at the fact that we have a huge, multi-platform narrative being marketed to hell when we have an existing Doctor who is barely getting any attention at all. If you think this is a IHEARTJODIE rant then think again. I would feel the same if it was Capaldi still in the lead, or even Matt Smith. To bold facedly pretend that David Tennant is still the face of Doctor Who in such a dramatic way whilst merchandise for the 13th Doctor is few and far between shows a lack of faith in the BBC and their current product. It also buys into the worst excesses of the nostalgia spin off merchandise for the show; lots of Daleks, a popular Doctor, plugging continuity gaps that were left empty for a reason (they don’t really matter) that I think has plagued Big Finish and the BBC for some time now. Make a statement about Doctor Who by all means, just don’t do so by shining a torchlight on where it was over a decade ago whilst emptying the pockets of desperate fans who are eager for new content. Why the fuck are you reviewing this story then? I hear you ask. No? Well, I’m going to tell you anyway. Not only is there a really rebellious part of my brain that is desperate to dip its toes into this universe just so I can say that I have…but this is a piece of work that is being put together by one of the greatest contributors to Doctor Who merchandise (James Goss), features some of the best writers and directors of Big Finish in the past 20 years (Jonathan Morris, Scott Handcock, Jamie Anderson) and honestly reading some of the blurbs of the individual stories makes me intrigued to see how they might handle those ideas. I’ve been sucked in regardless of my objection to the mindless sausage factory of nostalgia driven stories that the BBC (or Big Finish in particular) have been churning out for the last five years. I guess I am one of those idiots that will buy anything after all. The idea of a multi-platform story has legs and had never really been attempted on this scale before. Let’s see how we go. If it’s lots of Daleks screaming EXTERMINATE ad nauseum, I’m out. 

Standout Scene: ‘You will become a warrior without morality, without compassion, without mercy. The Destroyer of Worlds…’ The Dalek taunts the Doctor with future knowledge of his existence and it doesn’t paint a pretty picture. This should be the most appalling fanwank, a Dalek telling the fourth Doctor that he will become a genocidal maniac called the Time Lord Victorious. Brilliantly, he laughs in the face of this information and refuses to believe a word of it. He thinks the Dalek is playing mind games. Frankly, it’s the only reasonable reaction to such an irrational notion. It’s a scene of magnetic energy, as good as the best scenes from Dalek, Into the Dalek and Resolution. 

Result: Jonathan Morris has been producing Doctor Who stories from his abundant imagination for 20 years now. I’m happy to report his work is as sharp and exhilarating as it was when he brought out the novel Festival of Death and quite took the readership of the Past Doctor Adventures by surprise in 2000. Given the prolific number of stories under his belt, that is nothing short of a miracle. He’s absolutely my favourite Big Finish writer and he’s showing no signs of fatigue. Genetics of the Daleks should have been another dreary Big Finish Dalek adventure (Generics of the Daleks is an obvious joke, but many adventures in recent years could be labelled with this title) but it takes some well-worn ideas (a smart Dalek turning greed into power, the Doctor with his finger on the button and the ability to make a dent in the driving force of the Daleks, cryogenic sleepers ripe for conversion into something horrific) and packages them in a enjoyable piece that is so economic in it’s storytelling and cast it feels urgent, important and bizarrely, original. At least in its presentation. He writes the cliches as though they are spanking new, and almost convinces you that they are. An impressive cast (including Pippa Haywood, Clive Mantle and Andrew James Spooner) bring the grungy space crew to life with some verve and Tom Baker flouts onto the scene as though he owns the place, which he does so magnificently. Not bad for a story where he has no real impact on the narrative, but much needed for the best scene of the story where he basically scoffs in the face of an idea as absurd as Time Lord Victorious. Good for you, Tom. I have no idea how this story impacts on the three Time Lord Victorious BF stories that came before this. It serves as a punchy, powerful story all on its lonesome and provides Tom Baker with a small but memorable corner of the Time War all of his own. Bollocks, this was so enjoyable I am going to have to check out some more: 8/10

The Lovecraft Invasion written by Robert Valentine and directed by Scott Handcock

What’s it About: The Doctor, Constance and Flip join forces with 51st-century bounty hunter, Calypso Jonze, to hunt down the Somnifax: a weaponised mind-parasite capable of turning its host's nightmares into physical reality. Chasing it through the time vortex to Providence, Rhode Island in 1937, they arrive too late to stop it from latching onto a local author of weird fiction... Howard Phillips Lovecraft. With time running out before Lovecraft's monstrous pantheon breaks free and destroys the world, the Doctor must enter Lovecraft's mind to fight the psychic invader from within. Can he and Flip overcome the eldritch horrors of the Cthulhu Mythos? And will Constance and Calypso survive babysitting the infamously xenophobic Old Gentleman of Providence himself? 

Softer Six: It strikes me we have reached such a wealth of stories featuring the Doctor and the TARDIS that if the story is not about a new companion initially coming aboard then the shock of entering the TARDIS for the first time is reduced down to about 2.5 seconds to ensure the story runs smoothly. Unlike the time when the show took an entire story to justify the madness of the concept, nowadays the Doctor ushers in somebody like Calypso Jones through the doors and just expects them to grasp it. Can you imagine which planet the Omnifrax has its greedy little creative sucking tentacles targeted on? Because the Doctor exhibits no surprise. As much as it pains the Doctor to say it, he intends to return the Somnifax to the orbital lab to perish in the explosion it escaped from. Doing good and generally having adventures is how his time with Flip and Constance is summed up. They most certain don’t invoice, saving the universe is their own reward. His reaction to Lovecraft is instant and bitter; he admits freely that he is a historical figure that he never wanted to meet. When asked if he is carrying a weapon the Doctor admits he only has his wits about him. There’s a wonderful moment where the Doctor tries to pronounce one of Lovecraft’s mad names and finds himself trying several times. We’ve all been there, Doc. Described as a cunning and resourceful trickster. The Doctor, like many people, fell in love with a body of work and then found out something disturbing about the person who created it. It makes revisiting that work a troubling experience. Childish he may be, but he’s no fool.

Constant Companion: In what must be an in-joke about Peri, Constance declares ten seconds into the story that all the corridors look the same. It might have been more interesting to explore this story from Constance’s point of view because she was dragged from a time of patriotism and a hatred for Johnny foreigner attempting to invade. Constance has terrible trouble dealing with a friend who doesn’t identify with a gender but she makes stride to drop the ‘Miss’ throughout the story.

Flippin’ Heck: Flip refuses to sit this one out, despite the Doctor’s suggestion. The Doctor and Flip have a firm conversation about Lovecraft’s racism and given they both lean to the left wing they are in complete agreement about the abhorrence of his views. How the Doctor brings in Flip and her cousin Darren at the climax made me howl with laughter. Anybody who was ensure about Flip as the sixth Doctor’s companion must surely have been won over by now? Gosh, they work well as a pair.

Standout Performance: Would it be possible for the Doctor to team up with a Bounty Hunter in the future because Robyn Holdaway gives a terrific performance as Calypso Jones, and falls in with the TARDIS crew with remarkable efficiency. Her chemistry with Miranda Raison (with whom she spends most of the story) is palpable.

Controversial Dialogue: ‘If someone does choose to read his work then they do so with the knowledge that it was written by a racist...’ This is a potentially dangerous route for Big Finish to go down because one of the writers in their back catalogue has been the central figure in a transphobia scandal. It’s something that has been explored in the past couple of years. Can the artist be separated from the art? Can you enjoy the story without ever claiming to support the storyteller? Should Harry Potter be boycotted? Are you a racist if you stick on and enjoy The Talons of Weng-Chiang? I have heard these ideas bandied about, and I have my own opinions, which I don’t care to share here not through any fear of scandal but because I don’t think there are any easy answers or broad solutions to these kinds of questions. Am I going to continue to enjoy the William Hartnell stories knowing that he was a dreadful old racist at times. I’m afraid I am. Am I getting married to a man from another country? Yes, I am. It’s sticky waters, it’s inflammatory enough to destroy friendships and breed hate amongst people and I fear (as much as I have suggested that Big Finish should be more controversial these days because they have played it safe for so long) Big Finish is better off not engaging with it. Especially if it means their own back catalogue should be boycotted as a result of the line of thinking they are encouraging. Imagine if the New Series takes on Tesla and Churchill had been this on the nose and condemning? Would those stories be better for pointing out how monstrous they could be?

Great Ideas: The Doctor is on the hunt for the Somnifax, a creature that latches onto a host and turns their darkest thoughts into a realty and turn it on the rest of the population. We better hope that it doesn’t encounter anybody with a truly warped mind… As sentient bio weapons go it is rather impressive, but monstrous. The Somnifax can weaponise reality but it is also bound by rules. By turning himself into Cthulhu he makes himself susceptible to the banishment ritual.

Isn’t it Odd: HP Lovecraft is described as a racist and all-round xenophobe and his prejudices informed his work. It’s a stunningly blunt dismissal of a man who I’m certain wasn’t somebody I would ever choose to know because of his appalling beliefs but in the wake of the BLM riots of 2020 a new, less agreeable take on the man has been injected into the story. It’s a very difficult line to navigate because in the wake of the horror that took place this year and the outcry of anger that followed, Big Finish could hardly be seen to be harbouring and celebrating somebody who was infamous for his racist views. On the other hand to tip the story so far into preaching against his xenophobia means that this is clearly a reaction of the times rather than a necessary addition to the story. It is perhaps the one and only time that Doctor Who can be said to have taken a woke lead as its driving force. I have no issue with the Doctor calling out a racist…but it does fly in the face of previous Big Finish stories where the very same Doctor has worked alongside Davros (the ultimate racist) and applauded murderers (Burke and Hare) and rubbed shoulders with a Nazi in the previous story. This is one of the few times where the Doctor is a mouthpiece for the company that is producing the story and I can understand if people have an objection to that. It also gives this story a fascinating talking point beyond the story itself, even if that is an inflammatory one.

Standout Scene: There’s a far more composed scene where the Doctor and Flip (both detractors of Lovecraft and his work) have to engage with Randolph Carter (believed to be Lovecraft’s fictional alter ego) who is asking about his creator’s work. Rather than go for the jugular, the Doctor gently points out the world around them is his fiction and that perhaps not a work of a kind man expressing his provocative views. That he is the wish fulfilment of a disappointed man. It’s a nuanced scene, and one that I personally believe was from the original script. Baker is much gentler, and less blunt than he was in the early scenes discussing Lovecraft.

The horror of the final episode and Lovecraft being menaced by his own creations. The divide between his fiction and his racism is thin and being plagued by the thing that he fears the most feels like poetic justice. It’s a far more creative condemnatory approach to the man than the unsharpened dialogue in the first episode. The sound design for these scenes of mystic ceremony are extraordinary.

I appreciated the fact that the Doctor whisked away his three companions before making his final speech to Lovecraft. ‘You could so easily have been better than you are’ is a powerful line, delivered perfectly. I would have made that the entire speech. Colin Baker is magnificent here, and it is nice to see some real bite back in his Doctor. ‘His work will live on, warts and all.’

Result: In between reviewing the last Big Finish story and this one, the final main range adventure has been announced and we head, somewhat mutedly, towards the end of the bedrock of Big Finish storytelling. I suppose the question on my lips is whether The Lovecraft Invasion makes a compelling enough case for the future of this range and full-length classic series original stories or whether this entirely justifies the decision of the producers to shift the classic Doctors over to box sets (where I am sure the cost of producing their stories can be annuitized far more economically) or not? I realise this is quite an expectation to place on a single story, but here we are. The Doctor walks inside the mind of HP Lovecraft sounds like a terrific concept for an audio, and indeed having Scott Handcock at the helm this is an entertaining mind fuck of a story. Before then you have to get past the revisions to this story that ensures we know that Lovecraft was an appalling racist and that Big Finish in no way endorses his beliefs, and from the Doctor’s mouth no less. Everybody seems to have an opinion about this and I have done my best to avoid mine simply because to do so would suggest there is an answer to the whole ‘can you separate the art from the artist?’ debate, which, despite what some people might tell you, I don’t think there is. It’s an uncomfortable, provocative subject and for once perhaps Big Finish shouldn’t have played it safe. The story of the Somnifax itself is engagingly told, and it’s ripe for exciting set pieces and features the most enjoyable set of regulars the main range has to offer these days, along with a fantastic addition of Calypso Jones. I do wonder if the story could have been condensed into a single hour, because it essentially plays the same kind of set piece over and over, but it’s aurally striking, and full of nightmarish imagery that will sneak into my mind when I go sleep tonight. Whatever his politics, he had a disturbing and fertile imagination, and that shines through. You’ll learn a lot about Lovecraft and his work but also be told how to feel about him too. That battle of education and instruction takes place in a really fun, and controversial story. Take of that what you will. The revisions have lessened the impact of this story, but the work of talented people still shines through. It is well paced, well acted and put together by the most accomplished director Big Finish has. Does it justify the decision to end the main range as it stands? Yes and no, with the emphasis on the no: 7/10

The Baby Awakes by Susan Dennom and directed by John Ainsworth

What’s it about: The Doctor, Peri and Joe visit the Ishtar institute, where the term 'designer babies' takes on a new and sinister meaning. Will our heroes survive Christmas day?

Softer Six: The Doctor receives the best corporate handshake he has ever had. If Peri is Mrs Smith and her fella is Mr Smith then that makes the Doctor their eccentric Uncle just along for the ride. I love the idea of the Doctor as a force for moral good in the universe, investigating something as a shady as an institute that is creating the ultimate designer babies, against all the natural laws of the universe. Of all the Doctors, Colin Baker’s sixth Doctor is the most outwardly morally indignant and this feels like the perfect avenue for him to go on the attack. He’s also the Doctor that allows his companion to go through the most hellish of scenarios and so allowing Peri to experience the horrors of this technology is not entirely out of character. All he is sometimes is a pile of words wearing a cravat trying to move onto the next adventure because dealing with the implications of this one are too much.

Busty Babe: Where Peri comes from, these crafted embryos are called designer babies. She’s not sure how she feels about indulging in this obscene service in order to investigate the Institute and the second they start interacting with a child that she and Joe may have in the future it is clear that this is a very bad idea indeed. Nicola Bryant is the sort of actress that is going to make this kind of material really hurt and so Peri is a twisted choice to put through this kind of story. It feels sickly appropriate given how badly Peri was treated on television as an object of sexual desire that a story should use a science fiction concept to mess with her understanding of what having a baby is. It’s an invasive peek into a future of what her body may create. When she sees several scenarios play out, she admits it is like choosing a child to live and a child to die. Why did Peri’s children turn into monsters in the future? She has been genetically altered so many times on these adventures that perhaps her DNA has been fucked up because of it. Potential children of Peri’s are out there in that technology, and she can’t understand how the Doctor can just skip back to the TARDIS and move onto the next adventure when she has been so disturbed by this one.

Her Fella: Joe seems to be completely at home with this genetic tinkering. He feels this is a natural extension of technology that already exists in the eighties. At this point we are still supposed to take Joe on face value, with no real explanation of how he came to join the TARDIS crew.

Standout Performance: Bryant is extraordinary in the final scene. She’s almost too good at expressing Peri’s distress.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘It’s just the way things are heading, isn’t it?’ has probably papered over a multitude of sins over the years.

Great Ideas: If you pay enough credits, then the artificial moon can wink at you on your birthday. Both Incubator shells hold a fertilised egg and an algorithm shows how they will develop as an individual both in looks and personality and feed in the personality of the parents and how they will interact with the child. Both nature and nurture are incorporated. Being able to see to the life of a child from inception to their death is something that no parent should be able to see. That’s the whole point of having a baby, the journey that you go on. The amount of variables this technology must be working with boggles the mind. Why worry about arguing with your children in future years when you can choose a more agreeable child?

Standout Scene: What happens when both versions of the child that you want come to be but as a parent you have chosen one over the other? A satisfied child on one hand, and a rejected monster on the other. The story is straying into some dark waters with this concept; exploring the idea of children that have been walked away by parents and grown up as monsters as a result. Should any Doctor Who be suggesting a monstrous psychological disfigurement to a child that has not been chosen by its birth mother? Being forced to answer ‘why her and not me?’ is a shocking moment when the parent dispassionately gives her reasons (they are utterly superficial, and terrifying because of it).

Result: ‘It’s not my fault, I’m just the customer!’ Dangerous waters for a Doctor Who story and that is exactly the sort of thing that I want to see from Big Finish. So much of what they have produced in latter years is either nostalgic for the past or a popcorn entertainment version of what the television series is bringing out now. I’m surprised The Baby Awakes made it past the BBC censors given it is offering its opinion on creating designer children and it doesn’t shy away from the horror or the psychological implications of that. Nicola Bryant is a thoughtful actress and refuses to shy away from just how disturbing it is to see many future iterations of a potential child. This works well as a vignette. I’m not sure if I could have handled a full-length adventure in this vein. Ultimately Doctor Who is not the avenue to tackle issues this sensitive in a brutal and insensitive way (go look at the New Adventures for some horror stories in that vein) and so scraping the surface of the notions is probably enough. The story ultimately falls on the side of anti-abortion whereas a more balanced view would have been a safer approach. This is brave, and disturbing. I don’t agree with what this story is saying but I love the almost tasteless angle that the story takes. Should Doctor Who ever grapple with the idea of abortion, especially in a Christmas special? Probably not, but that is why this offers some hope for inflammatory storytelling in the future instead of the same old nonsense featuring screeching Daleks and temporal paradoxes: 8/10

DS9 – Nor the Battle, To the Strong…

Plot – Can you imagine anything drearier than a paper on Dr Bashir’s latest medical breakthrough? I’m still astonished that they managed to dramatize some of those into actual episodes…and that they turn out to be some of the best of the entire run (The Quickening, Inter Arma). Hearing about his dry and dusty conference on prion replication sounds thoroughly tedious and it would take all of Jake’s prowess as a journalist to turn it into a suspenseful documentary. How wonderful then that the Klingons have invaded a medical outpost on the border and they are near enough to attend and help out. Surgery Under Fire sounds so much more dramatic…

Character – Every year (except the last one, strangely) I feel like there is a breakout episode for Jake. Anybody who cringed at the though of DS9 going down the route of having a kid on board probably had a bit of egg on their face at this point. Episodes like The Visitor, Shattered Mirror, Nor the Battle and Valiant really go to show the benefit of allowing a child character to grow up in a hostile environment and find his own path in life. Jake thankfully chose not to pursue a career in Starfleet, which makes him pretty damn sensible in my book and given his mother died precisely for that reason it is far more than just cowardice and laziness on his part. Writing is his bag, and specifically journalism is career and it is exploited a couple of times a year to dramatic and sometimes comedic effect. Nor the Battle is probably the best Jake episode as played by Cirroc Lofton. I would say The Visitor, of course, but the plaudits there belong to Tony Todd. This is a chance to see exactly what this character is made of, throwing him into a genuinely horrific situation and making him face up to his own fearfulness and bravery. Lofton is more than up to the task and shows himself to be an actor of some skill in some very difficult scenes. I think the moment Jake realises he is in a completely new environment is when his shirt is grabbed by a man who is taking his painful last breath and he steps back, his shirt saturated in fresh blood. The look on his face when he steps into the makeshift mortuary of fresh bodies is one of numbness and disbelief. Jake running away from Bashir in trouble seems like a very sensible thing to do in the circumstances (there are literally explosions going off all around him) and this isn’t an act of cowardice but self-preservation. I guess the line between those two things is pretty thin. I really like how Jake has the guts to write up his experiences at the hospital honestly, including admitting how frightened he was and how saving the day was a complete fluke. That’s real bravery. Facing up to what you might consider the uglier side of your personality and admitting openly that you’re not perfect. As a character in the Roddenberry universe, that is real courage.

I’d like to highlight some of the characters who aren’t the regulars this week because there are some really interesting things happening. There’s the Bolian orderly who has been at this game for so long now that he has developed a sick sense of humour to see him through. Kirby is a sweet nurse who develops quite an affection for Jake and tries to see him through. It would have been nice had this been a little romantic subplot, but it’s there unrequited in the subtext if you want to see it. The best scenes belong to the two characters who behave in a distinctly un-Starfleet way. The unnamed Ensign (he isn’t given a name despite his importance to the story, and that almost feels deliberate on the part of the writers to punish a man who turned from his duty) who shoots himself in the foot just to escape the front lines is the perfect encapsulation of what is essentially a young man with his whole life ahead of him being forced into a combat situation for some obscure reason. There’s a good chance that had he not blown his foot away that he would be dead. Which is the better option? Cowardice or death? The episode doesn’t comment on that directly, it just states how he will be professionally punished. He strikes me as one of the most realistic characters that Star Trek has ever presented, and he doesn’t even have a name.

Performance – I’ve heard complaints that the character of Burke is crazy over the top, which is an interesting angle to take given he has had his stomach sliced open and he is holding his guts in place. Let’s see how calm those same critics would be in the same situation.

Great Dialogue – ‘Back home, pregnancy is considered a rental’ ‘Rental?’‘Decapitation has its virtues. A nice clean blow with a sharp bat’leth’ ‘The brain lives on for five, ten seconds at least. In theory, your headless corpse could be the las thing you see’  ‘You’re so negative.’

Production – In order for this episode to work the hospital sequences needed to be as realistic as possible and so director Kim Friedman goes for a messy, unco-ordinated, handheld approach with activity going on everywhere, people being carried, operated on, dying and screaming in every direction. It’s extremely well done, more like an episode ER underground and they have the skill of doing this every week behind them. In the middle of all this madness you have Jake, a centre of still panic, out of his depth and unsure what to do with himself.

Seeing bloody, savaged bodies strewn about on the misty battlefield in the brilliant sunlight really is new territory for Trek. I’m surprised they managed to get this sequence through. It perfectly encapsulates why war is hell. And utterly pointless. And terrifying.

Best moment – But DS9 didn’t have the chemistry and the good humour that the other Trek shows had, I hear you say. Check out the ‘Quark-tajino’ sequence after the credits. ‘Why does pregnancy always make men hysterical?’ It’s that exact same delicate thread of humour that you have TNG and VOY, albeit with a little more bite. And the scene where Odo talks about attempting to change into a hawk, forgetting that he doesn’t have ability to shapeshift anymore. And the scene where Dax talks about being a parent countless times. God, I love these characters. How the episode stresses the relationship between Sisko and Jake despite the fact that they only share a single scene together, is impressive.

The moment Jake finally loses his composure at all the nurses who are joking about how they are going to die…surrounded by bodies still gives me goosebumps. You can see perfectly why they have developed this twisted sense of humour, because it helps them get through this hell. But from Jake’s point of view, who is suffering trauma and guilt, it looks like they taking the piss out of all the pain and suffering that is haunting him. There are some complex things going on in that scene. That’s followed up with a sequence of Jake, traumatised and terrified, bursting into tears. I wish Trek would venture into real trauma like this more often, because it shows up the franchise’s usual reset on feelings when characters face ghastly situations that would genuinely test them.

A reason to watch this episode again – The really interesting thing about this episode is what happens when you take an idealistic Star Trek character and place them in a situation that is distinctly un-Star Trek. It’s a hospital full of the dead and dying, cowards and psychopaths, blood and guts and Klingons banging on the door and ready to slice open anybody who gets in their way. It’s claustrophobic, gusty and terrifying and simply not the sort of thing that TNG or VOY would dip their toes into. In walks Jake full of bluster and he’s put through trials of anxiety and terror and facing up to his own fear. That alone is enough of a pitch to get excited about but with some terrific direction, top notch performances and moments where I genuinely questioned whether they would get out of this alive and you have a classic episode of DS9 (let’s not call it Trek). I love the dirtiness of it; the moral dubiousness of some of the characters, the graphic nature of the surgery scenes and the claustrophobic horror, even when the episode goes outside in the blistering sunshine. This isn’t the episode that makes Jake a man (who knows what that even means) but it’s the episode that shows him just how brave the people are who chose the path he didn’t, and that his chosen profession may lead to some frightening experiences. Lofton is superb and has fantastic chemistry with Siddig – I wish the writers had returned to that well more often. Trek can’t be like this all the time otherwise it starts becoming something a little twisted and nasty, but a handful of times each season DS9 took the punt and tried something quite different from the norm. Here they really hit gold.

***** out of *****

VOY – Scientific Method

 

Plot – One-part daffy science, one-part espionage, one-part Trek crew behaving out of character. There is nothing revolutionary going on here that we haven’t seen before in TNG but it is the fresh season four characterisation (Seven, Torres/Paris, grumpy Janeway) that keeps this afloat.

Character – We find out that Janeway is working stupidly long hours, without taking the time to eat or rest properly, and always looking for the quick fix.

Performance – Kate Mulgrew really gets to indulge in playing an overly cranky Janeway and accentuate all the nastiest aspects of her character. It’s like gold to an actor being asked to play the villain (and that is essentially what she is here as she gets angrier and less civil with each passing scene) and Mulgrew seizes the chance to do something really different. I wouldn’t have minded some of this snappiness and irrationality to remain after this episode. The only other time we see it is in Equinox Part Two when it is ramped up to fifteen. Once the aliens have been exposed and Janeway can let loose on them, the episode steps up a gear. They have created this monster by depriving her of sleep and reason and now she is ready to dish out some justice. Hoo boy, these scenes absolutely make the episode. The sad truth of the matter is that when Janeway shoves one of the aliens against the wall and threatens them, it is the work of experimentation. Sisko on the other hand exhibits this kind of behaviour every other week (check out Past Tense and In the Pale Moonlight for the best examples).

Best moment – The snog between Torres and Paris in the bowels of the ship threatens to be quite sexy when we get to witness said act in x-ray with all their internal organs on display. It quickly becomes one of the grossest kisses in the entirety of Trek. It is perhaps the greatest development for this show that Torres and Paris have entered into a relationship with each other because it offers hope that these are real people who have lusts and needs beyond their work. How they are finding any excuse to get together and paw at each other is rather funny and sweet. The pair of them acting like criminals because they have been indiscreet and trying to figure out how they feel feels like real people trying to deal with real feelings. I really love the final scene, which seems to dare that the whole Paris/Torres development was all the work of the aliens toying with them before they confirm that they are in fact deliriously in love with each other anyway. It would be so Voyager to go with this explanation, so to avoid it makes me want to cheer.

Janeway’s suicidal response to the aliens experiments is her scientific rationality dialled up to eleven. She’s playing the odds that they don’t want to die and is willing to risk the lives of her crew to see just how badly they want to experiment on them. It means we have a pretty drab first half of this episode, plot wise, but the momentum really kicks in at the climax.

Worst moment – How could they make Neelix look even more outrageous than usual? That must have been quite a challenge to the make up team who have already gone to the efforts of making him a grotesque hotch potch of various Trek aliens. Just add a ton of hideous spots. That ought to do the trick.

I wish they hadn’t done that – Seven of Nine and Torres have a bumpy relationship on any day of the week but on this day, where aliens are heightening their feelings, things are especially rocky. I wonder sometimes if Roxan Dawson enjoyed playing these scenes a little too much since Jeri Ryan was being treated as something of an interloper at this point in the show. Led by Mulgrew, but leaking down into the rest of the cast and by all accounts it was almost intolerable for Ryan on set in the fourth season. Scenes where the characters get to bite and push against her seem to be played with real relish. It’s a fascinating behind the scenes revelation that has emerged in later years, how Ryan was blamed for being the character to come in and save the show. You can understand why there was some pushback against her, especially from the other women in the cast who might be questioning why they needed a buxom blonde to salvage the show they have been trying to prop up for three years. Understandable, but questionable and it doesn’t show either Mulgrew or her colleagues in the best of lights. Blaming somebody as sweet as Jeri Ryan for the decisions of the producers and network chiefs is unjust.

A reason to watch this episode again – Conflict. Conflict. Conflict. How very refreshing. I thought for a moment that Voyager was stepping up a gear and highlighting the cultural and moral differences between its crew and pumping some real tension into its cast. It turns out to be the work of aliens experimenting on them, playing with their minds and ramping up their aggression. On another Trek show this would just be natural characterisation. On Voyager, it is manipulation. The aliens act as the audience watching, insidiously dialling up the tension to eleven. It works in spite of itself and some of the scenes herein are seminal Voyager, especially featuring the sleep deprived and mildly psychotic Janeway. She’s terrifying in certain scenes. Now that they have exposed all of the latent and potential anger and conflict between the characters, I hope they continue to exploit it. Whilst the characterisation of Scientific Method is mostly excellent, it is the direction that lets this one down. The experiments need to feel taut and insidious but instead they come across as bog standard Trek daffy science for the most part. What’s missing is atmosphere. Mulgrew makes this memorable for the most part, and I do like the scenes of the crew starting to fight back.

***1/2 out of *****

The Nimon Be Praised! Plus Two Watch Who Discuss The Power of the Daleks

Join Jack & Joe & Mark & Sarah as two podcasts combine to have fun talking about the second Peter Cushing movie. Gimp costumes, jazz music, unfinished direction, fabulous Daleks and a lacklustre Doctor all feature. And the tale of the hotel from hell that has to be heard to be believed. This is a three way call from Australia to Cardiff to Eastbourne, so please forgive a few audio issues.

Daleks Invasion 210AD

DS9 – The Adversary

 

Plot – I can remember thinking at the time that I really can’t have been paying too much attention to DS9 because I had never heard of the Tzenkethi before. Turns out nobody had. Or if they had it must have been some obscure reference. I rather like the idea of a Trek show having a race we know nothing about at the centre of an episode. Funnily enough, we still don’t know anything about them by the end of the episode – we never quite make it into their space or see what they look like. Why should the universe be so small that only the big powers of the Quadrant are the focus of all the stories?

Character – Does a Star Trek show have to be commanded by a Captain in order to be taken seriously? According to a certain section of Trek fandom, apparently so. They would be delighted by the events at the beginning of this episode and although I was pretty nonplussed about it at the time, I can now see that this was a real turning point for Avery Brooks. From this point on he was able to create his own look and command with authority and style. The episode opens with Jake saying that he has been wanting to say something for a very long time and I was wondering if it was going to be ‘let’s get out of this dump.’ It is a fact that Kirk, Picard, Janeway and Archer all start their respective shows as Captain’s and some of them even make it to the exalted position of Admiral before they leave the franchise but Avery Brooks’ Sisko goes on a far more elevating journey of Commander to God. It’s fully justified in my eyes. Although given how O’Brien sucks up to him in this episode you might think that he has already reached that status. It’s great how Sisko mentions that his rank really doesn’t change anything because he already has the assignment and crew that he wants. The rank doesn’t make much of a difference.

Sisko describes Kassidy as very independent, a little opinionated and with a nice sense of humour. Oh mate, you haven’t seen anything yet. It’s great that important aspects of the show are simmering here; Sisko’s relationship with Kassidy, Eddington getting close to Sisko, Dax earning her stripes as the biggest gossip in town, the changelings stepping out of the shadows…

The hyper paranoid Bolian should have been a recurring character but he should only show up in episodes where he is questioning everybody around him. Homefront. Empok Nor. The Assignment. The Darkness and the Light. Field of Fire. He could be the sign that we’re in for a scary episode.

Standout Dialogue – ‘I don’t have time to play choose the changeling!’

‘He said you’re too late…we’re everywhere.’

Performance – Avery Brooks, freshly promoted, is really authoritative. There’s no doubt who is in command of this ship.

Production – Can DS9 turn out the Trek equivalent of The Thing? Throw in some influence from The Hunt From Red October into the mix and you have one of the most atmospheric Berman era episodes yet. It’s a chance to explore the Defiant in a lot more depth than has been possible before and a whole new bunch of sets is conjured up to make it a believable setting, and drenched in shadows and bathed in red light it becomes a claustrophobic, submarine-like environment for the changeling to stalk about in. The Thing elements come in the shape of the extreme paranoia that everybody feels knowing that the Changeling could be anyone or anything and whilst the shapeshifting special effects are a little ropey 20 years after transmission, the fact that I am only saying ‘a little’ is something of a miracle. Some of the Enterprise CGI landscapes make me want to dive under the sofa in embarrassment. The morphing effects can be excused because they look rather stylish…and well who is anybody to say that that isn’t what a morphing changeling looks like?

The camera is in on the joke that the changeling can hide anywhere and at times crawls along the sets in a menacing way suggesting that it is sneaking up on the members of the crew. In the middle sections of the episode the music dares to get loud, dramatic and exciting. Berman must have been having a fit.

They get to do the blood test sequence twice and wring every ounce of tension out of the idea. I love the close ups on everybody’s faces as they are being performed, as though everybody is expecting it to be everybody. The first time around it is especially tense because Julian has been behaving suspiciously in the bowels of the ship so we are waiting for him to spring and make his move. It’s almost a disappointment that it turns out to be the one person who is fresh to the crew, but it does confirm that there is a changeling in their midst which is a terrifically spooky development. Why is it that whenever there is a possibility of a traitor on board that every crew suddenly starts acting questionably? It’s a hilarious phenomenon.

Best moment – Odo is rather foolish to suggest that no changeling has ever harmed another and that he would hate to be the first…doesn’t he know how television works? When you make a promise like that, you have to break it by the episodes end. There’s a real focus on just how little Odo understands his people here and how embarrassed he is that they are causing all this trouble. It’s something the show would really go on to the exploit in the shows final four years, capitalising on Auberjonois’ considerable talents as their black sheep. He has to make a terrible choice at the climax and with this being DS9 it has huge consequences for Odo to come. I don’t care how awkward the FX shot of Odo grappling with the changeling is, it’s a really dramatic, grisly death and his parting words to Odo with a smile make it all worthwhile. They really are sick bastards, dishing out threats in their dying breath. Nobody conveys hurt like Auberjonois and his reaction to the murder he is forced to commit really hits home.

The look that everybody gives each other over the ward room table as Odo reveals the changeling message is worth the admission price alone.

A reason to watch this episode again – This is peak DS9, at the point where it was really finding its voice and the actors had become massively confident in their roles. The Dominion was slowly invading the show and becoming its life blood and this outer space chiller is where that is all cemented. Claustrophobic, moody and dramatic, The Adversary wants to make the idea that a changeling can be anyone or anything the most chilling of ideas and that one of their number can cause a huge interstellar conflict. It’s basically laying the groundwork for the rest of the series. This being DS9 with its flawed, grungy crew it isn’t long before the fireworks start and they are all turning on each other. I love the fact that there are several trained killers on the crew so when the shit hits the fan like this you know that they are capable of really looking after themselves. It adds an extra layer of frisson to the tense moments. You have the political ramifications of the changeling starting a war, the personal threat of the crew being in imminent danger and the emotional threat to Odo at having to protect his family at the expense of his people. I think it was at this point that I think the writers and actors realised they were really onto something. It’s a tense finale and doesn’t feel the need to end the season on a false moment of jeopardy but instead to linger on the threat of much more danger to come. This is a stylish episode and one to savour.

****1/2 out of *****

VOY – Equinox Part One

Plot – In another universe, UPN commissioned a new Trek show after TNG finished airing called Equinox featuring a group of Starfleet’s finest trapped in a region of space away from home with no hope or resources. They are forced to trade in their ideals in order to keep themselves alive and make some very questionable (or certain court martiable) decisions to keep themselves alive, fed and powered. At the end of Equinox’s fifth season it makes contact with another Starfleet vessel, Voyager, which by chance has also been working its way through the Delta Quadrant. This never heard of before ship is helmed by Captain Kathryn Janeway and she has managed to get this far without compromising her vow to Starfleet and everything it stands for. Naturally irritated at them having the rougher ride, Captain Ransome attempts a coup to takeover this good as new ship in order to get his crew home…

…I especially love the flashbacks to previous Equinox episodes. It gives you an idea of how other instalments of this show might have played out.

Character – Having the Voyager and Equinox crews’ side by side is like holding up a mirror and seeing their dark reflection. This is what the Voyager crew might have been had they had to face harsher choices along the way. Naturally the Voyager’s compliment is ecstatic to see new faces and welcomes them on board, with the big assumption that they are as incorrupt and nicey nice as they are. Once the true nature of what the Equinox crew has done is revealed there is a feeling of arrogance amongst the Voyager crew, a suggestion that they have the moral high ground. The DS9 crew faced much tougher situations than the Equinox crew and as a result had to get their hands dirty and make some highly dubious decisions along the way as they fought a war and it really goes to show how superior the human race is in this time when put under real pressure. The long and the short of this is that Voyager really hasn’t been through the grind. It has functioning holodecks that are about to open 24/7. Food in abundance. A functioning ship. Heat. Clothing. Friendship. Camaraderie. They have no right to claim any kind of moral high ground because they haven’t had to suffer. It makes them feel unsympathetic, which is actually rather refreshing. Because they are so often portrayed as vanilla Starfleet. Seeing this uglier side of their personalities generates some interest.

The idea of Torres’ old lover turning up on the Equinox is a really tasty one and one that could have played out throughout the rest of the show. Imagine, it might mean that Tom Paris could stop being such an entitled douchebag when it comes to his relationship and he might have had to fight for Torres’ attention instead of taking her for granted. ‘You want to flirt with your new ship, Alice? Go right ahead, I’ll be in holodeck two with Max.’ Instead of this awesome co-incidence being a dreadful soap opera element thrown in to add some humour it is used much more insidiously than that. Max uses his previous relationship with Torres to access system that will allow the Equinox crew to continue to exploit the aliens and get them home. You can only hope there will be some emotional fallout for this in the next episode.

Showing Gilmore suffering PTSD and struggling being in confined spaces was a really smart move on the writer’s part. It shows a level of suppressed guilt and fear at the experiences that she has been through. How comes the writers can take brave decisions with the guest characters like this?

Janeway is judgemental here, but within reason. I think she might have forgotten the twenty times she has broken with the Prime Directive in order to get out of less dire situations than those of the Equinox crew but it might be a possibility that she has suffered one of the many reset buttons that Voyager has encountered over the years and forgotten about them all. In the second episode she is positively psychotic in her condemnation of Ransom, but here it is bitter disappointment and professional disapproval.

Performance – I’ve heard mixed reviews about John Savage’s Ransom but I think in the first episode that he is edgy and dark and precisely the right mix of faux Starfleet manners and sinister plotting with his crew. It’s a role that might have ben overplayed but Savage keeps it quiet and insidious. At times you could squint and see a perfectly respectable Starfleet officer and that’s the greatest trick he pulls. Once Ransom has committed to the course of sacrificing the aliens in order to get home, he will not deviate from that decision, despite the objections of his crew now that they have the comfort of Voyager to enjoy. That’s his downfall. Not making a bad call when the chips are down. Anybody could do that. But choosing to murder when there is another option on the table, that’s truly betraying your principles in order to serve yourself. The experiments are described as meticulous and brutal so whilst Ransom is trying to proclaim how guilty he felt when performing them it doesn’t quite ring true. That ambiguity is quite exciting in a show like Voyager.

Production – God bless Brannon Braga. There he was trying to create the most frightening alien race that Star Trek has ever seen. Able to pop in and out of subspace, ghostly and ethereal, capable of killing with a touch and absolutely bloody pissed at having been tortured and exploited, this could have been the apotheosis of Trek’s monster races. Then the FX crew get their hands on the idea and create some godawful Slimer knock-offs but somehow even more comical looking and suddenly all the work that David Livingston is doing to make these creatures seem menacing feels like it has been chucked out the window. Nothing dates worse than CGI, I’m certain of that now and the realisation these ‘nasties’ truly are the nadir of this episode.

Best moment – Sending the Doctor into the dangerous section of the Equinox to discover what horrors they have been undertaking is a great way to get him involved without shoehorning him into the plot.

I wish they hadn’t done that – How Chakotay can possibly chastise anybody from the Equinox crew when he was part of a terrorist group that tortured and murdered people over a land dispute baffles me. He comes off the worst here, when perhaps he should have empathised with them a little.

Perhaps the only let down of the production besides the Slimers is the cliffhanger. When you stack it up against some of the whoppers from the franchise – Locutus of Borg, the Dominion coming through the wormhole, Species 8472 – the fissure opening and a dodgy CGI creature threatening to take out Janeway is pretty small fry. All the excitement around the cliffhanger is where the good stuff lies. The fake Doctor handing weapons to his crew, the shootout in Voyager’s corridors, capturing the Slimer. It’s a decent closing act because of everything but the cliffhanger.

A reason to watch this episode again – A glimpse into what Voyager might have been if the writers had been allowed to take more risks. Equinox marks the beginning of the end of the great event episodes of this show after two spectacular years of them (Scorpion, The Year of Hell, Dark Frontier, Timeless) and it does so with real passion and suspense. The crew of the Equinox is well drawn and played and they highlight particularly well against the Voyager crew for being so much more morally grey and in some places quite unlikable. I think this is what it might be like had the DS9 and Voyager crews rubbed shoulders. David Livingston ensures that this episode looks as moody as its subject matter and there is a creeping feeling of unease throughout as the true nature of what the Equinox crew have done in order to try and get home is revealed. This episode deserves real points for having the nuts to say something about how easy a ride Voyager has had until this point and it seems to suggest that from hereon in things might be a little rougher. If only that had been the case. I am pre-programmed to like any episode that deconstructs the Roddenberry vision of the future of humanity because I think it is fundamentally flawed and not a little arrogant and Ransom and his bunch would make a fine and grimy addition to the Voyager crew. I hope they get to stick around. The last ten minutes are particularly good as it is revealed how Janeway has had the wool pull thoroughly over her eyes and the Equinox crew make their move. It’s exciting and eventful and has smart things to say about the show. The monsters aren’t the Slimers, but the Starfleet crew that has been through hell and made the wrong choices. Yes, this is a very tasty season finale.

****1/2 out of *****

ENT – Regeneration

 

Plot – Should the Borg have been handled on Enterprise given that they were first (as in Starfleet’s first discovery of them) discovered on TNG in season two? Doesn’t that muddy up the timelines somewhat? I suppose that opens up of the question of whether Enterprise should dealing with any of the races as we know they from the Berman universe. Wanting to tell the stories of the founding days of the Federation and set the series before even TOS and wanting to bring back all the post TOS fan favourites does rather feel like having your cake and eating it. I can see the appeal, especially with a race as popular as the Borg. However, they were used to death on Voyager by the end and it has only technically been one season (ENT S1) since they haven’t been featured. It’s not like this was a huge comeback for the race who were seeing Voyager’s finale recently.

Saying that, the writers have come up with an ingenious way of bringing them back that ties into First Contact extremely well. There’s a good excuse for the Borg to be here but the story has to jump through hoops to explain why Archer and crew don’t remember these terrifying cyborgs and why they never wrote a log about them for Picard to find in the second season of TNG. Essentially it boils down to ‘we aren’t sure what those scary robots were and so we’ll forget that it ever happened.’

I’m a sucker for any story that takes its inspiration from The Thing From Another World and Regeneration offers up a ten-minute introduction at the Snowcap as the expedition discover the base previously attacked and are menaced by the Borg. Once again, the best material barely features the Enterprise crew and there is something extremely filmic and stylish about these early scenes. The snowy wilderness that the base is built in looks very impressive. Note to any future archaeological teams. Should you encounter the disembodied parts of several cyborg bodies and one of the arms starts coming to life…run.

Character – There’s a wonderful moment where Phlox and Reed discuss the Borg before they have met them and Phlox attempts to suggest that Starfleet officers should be more open about cybernetic technology. I love how he is always trying to make people see things from a unique perspective, from the other point of view. John Billingsley, as usual, brings the depth to the show and his reaction to being infected with Borg nanoprobes is to feel violated. He would rather commit suicide than become on of the Borg. What he goes through to rid himself of the nanoprobes looks like absolute torture, and it really stresses the invasion of your bodies when these nasties infect you.

Great Dialogue – ‘There’s no reason to assume they’re hostile’ ‘They don’t exactly look friendly.’

Production – There’s a great score to this episode which increases in intensity throughout. Remember when the Borg were first introduced in Q Who? Ron Jones’ was able to go completely mad and truly give them a memorable score. This is much more subtle and skilful, but slightly less memorable for it.

Best moment – For once I can really see the effort that has gone into the design of the Enterprise sets. David Livingston has so much fun dashing around the ship with cameras, effortlessly suggesting that this is a huge space that is under attack. The curved corridors mean that the movement feels very fluid and satisfying as we dash around the corridors.

Worst moment – I can’t take Reed seriously. He spoils a perfectly good sequence with the Borg attacking Enterprise with an overly melodramatic ‘stop what you’re doing!’

I wish they hadn’t done that – I’m not sure that Sussman and Strong can resist taking a visit to a Borg ship but I would have suggested that that was avoided. An encounter with the Borg on Enterprise could be pushed aside as just another encounter with a hostile alien species but to visit one of their vessels would surely mean that Archer would debrief Starfleet afterwards, perhaps even collect some visual evidence. Full marks for the atmosphere in these scenes but no marks for the logic of what comes afterwards (no evidence of the Borg in the Starfleet database).

A reason to watch this episode again – It seems improper to say but the best scenes in Regeneration are the ones that don’t feature the Enterprise crew at all. The opening ten minutes featuring the team discovering the Borg corpses in Antarctica are easily the most suspenseful and atmospheric of the episode, and the characters are very likable too. It feels like the opening of a really spooky movie. There’s a perfectly cogent explanation for the Borg’s presence in this story and so I’m not sure why so many Trek fans got their knickers in the twist. I’ve heard complaints that this was the episode where Enterprise jumped shark but in reality, this is one of the first Enterprise episodes to have a genuine sense of excitement and suspense about it. If only they could marry those words to this shows unique continuity and we would be in fine shape (actually that would come in season three). So much of the insecurity of this episode comes from the fact that we know precisely what the Borg are about but Archer and his chums don’t. We’re constantly waiting for the inevitable conflict and there is something to be said for making the audience wait in anticipation. I think a lot of people had made up their mind about Regeneration before watching it but this deserves re-evaluation because it is genuinely one of the strongest episodes of this shows run. It might not be subtle or especially deep, but it does have plenty of blood pumping through its veins and is dynamic throughout. This is really strong and even more impressive for giving the Borg a real sense of mystery and horror again, after so much use. They feel relentless, unstoppable and utterly unlike anything Enterprise has encountered before.

****1/2 out of *****

The Nimon Be Praised! Discuss The Douglas Adams Stories

Join Jack & Joe & Nathan (from Flight Through Entirety) as they wax lyrical about their three favourite stories from the Graham Williams era. Jack chooses The Pirate Planet and loves its skilful plotting, social commentary and sly wit. Nathan chooses City of Death and he’s beguiled by the romance of the story, the blissful guest characters and the smart and intelligent narrative. Joe favours Shada for its charm, its pricking at Time Lord pomposity and its beautiful new completed animated form. 

This is a huge happy love-in discussing some of the sunniest, smartest, wittiest Doctor Who stories. The perfect antidote to the 2020 blues.

There are a few pauses, as this was three separate calls coming together and forgive us for all being so ridiculously polite and trying encourage each other to talk when interrupting.

Douglas Adams

TNG – The Hunted

 

Plot – It’s one of those episodes where a planet is being considered for entry into the Federation and it’s absolutely clear that this is some kind of political boy’s club where the stuffier you are, the better. The Federation seems to be made up of bureaucrats and politicians at this point and it’s certainly not an alliance of planets that I would want to ally myself with. It’s extremely telling that a man who is willing to risk his life for what he believes in is hunted down by the Enterprise, who are trying to impress their new friends and potential allies when they are the ones who are technically in the wrong. Hunt a man down like a dog to make themselves a more impressive power in the Quadrant. Very telling. Why doesn’t the Federation do a more thorough check on the planets that they want to indoctrinate? Do they they just send Picard in to get an impression of them and then take his word for it? Don’t they look into their views on capital punishment, military indoctrination, etc? At the end of the episode Picard gets to make a speech where he condemns the government of this world for its treatment of its ex-military servicemen but he has entirely forgotten at this point that the beginning of the episode that he himself considered them ‘very suitable’ for Federation membership. Trek is moving out of its black and white morality into a greyer area but it hasn’t yet quite got the guts to look inwards and really criticise its heroes. That time would come, never fear.

Character – Anybody who makes a suicide run at the Enterprise in a ship that is infinitely smaller and less intimidating gets my vote. Danar is very well played and written with a nice line in sarcasm (I especially like how he tries to wind up Troi, who is attempting to be kind to him). It would have been very easy to have just made him a victim who is really a nice guy but there’s an arrogance there that means that whilst you are rooting for him, you’re still a little irritated by him too.

It’s refreshing that Troi gets something to do but frustrating that she is written as an utterly empathic bleeding heart as usual. I wish there was a little more steel here, that she was more willing to mouth back to Danar or to look down on him a little. Troi loves everybody and everyone and seeks out emotional justice for all…and that’s a little eye rolling. More marbled, even unlikable characterisation would make her far more interesting.

Where Troi is a little one note and behaves exactly how you would imagine her too, Picard is far more considered and interesting. He’s standout because he has been sent to this planet to do one thing, and he decides to fight his Federation principles and make his own choices.

Production – Oh gosh. The old matte painting planetary surfaces. I still miss them. They might have a remarkable 2D quality about them but with the added visual effects and lightning they have a sense of grandeur and of ambitiousness that the effortlessness of CGI lacks. The paintings would get better and better throughout TNG and DS9 until a point where planets like Bajor and Cardassia look absolutely authentic. It was with the advent of fully CGI planet surfaces in Enterprise where weirdly the shows started looking a little cheaper at time and that is because nothing dates worse than CGI in its infancy, whereas a vivid painting will always be extremely beautiful.

It’s only when you start having a fight in the Enterprise sets that you come to realise that they are essentially made out of flimsy plastic, cardboard and egg cartons. As Danar throws the Enterprise security team about the sets wobble with dramatic precariousness. There’s an energy to these scenes that I really like (TNG can sometimes be quite listless and so an extended fight scene is always welcome) but also a mannered feel to them too (clearly the stunt arranger doesn’t often have to put together a fight of magnitude very often and it shows). They would get much better at this sort of thing on DS9 and VOY when violence would become as important as politics.

Worst moment – Worf hiding in the turbolift whilst one of his security officers is being tackled and beaten doesn’t feel very honourable. At least he gets to prove his worth in the third act when he goes one on one against Danar and gets a ton of empty plastic crates thrown at him.

I wish they hadn’t done that – Roga’s transporter beam dance has to be seen to be believed.

A reason to watch this episode again – It’s season three TNG and so it has a sheen and confidence that sets it above much of the first two years…but that doesn’t mean that The Hunted is an especially accomplished episode of TNG. As usual it has some pretty ugly things to say about the Federation and how they conduct themselves politically in order to gain new powerful allies and this episode seems to be calling them out at times in how they are willing to behave in order to secure that relationship. Even persecuting innocent men. Fortunately, the Enterprise has Picard at the helm and Patrick Stewart playing him and so with some pontificating and riveting acting, the emptiness of what the Federation is doing and the consequences to the innocent are pointed out. It’s all a little heavy handed as you can imagine and with Troi empathising with the prisoner it all gets a little intolerably twee at times. But there’s action aplenty, a nice chance for Stewart to look thoughtful and I do appreciate the effort to point out the hypocrisy of a collective of planets that has gotten a little too big for its boots. If it doesn’t quite have the sense of angry purpose that it should, that is because Gene Roddenberry is still with us and the criticism of the Federation cannot quite be full bloodied at this point. In a few years DS9 would be savaging everything the Roddenberry ideal stands for, but at the moment the franchise is still a little too in thrall of the great man.

*** out of *****

DS9 – Rules of Acquisition

 Plot – ‘And once we get our foot in the door, they’ll never get it out’ – how smart was it to use something as innocuous as the Ferengi attempts to establish themselves in the Gamma Quadrant to introduce us to the biggest revelation about the new region of space that we will get. This is something that was suggested in the first season episode The Nagus and so the Dominion arc technically started about six episodes into the series. When Quark says he wants a piece of the Dominion, he should be careful what he wishes for.

Character – Whilst this episode concerns itself with the relationship between Quark and Pel, where it really wins is the relationship between Quark and Dax. It’s one of the unsung double acts of the show and it emerges here and runs right through until Tears of the Prophets. Quark is clearly hugely enamoured with Dax (who wouldn’t be?) and Dax admits freely that she hasn’t had more fun with a species than the Ferengi over the years. It’s a tight friendship the show dips into every now and again and it gives both characters a little extra depth for being there.

Another highlight is the emergence of Rom as a character who can step into the limelight and feature as prominently as Quark. That also starts here and continues from this point on. He loves his brother and he’s still trying to behave like a good, profit hungry Ferengi but realises that Pel is far better at attracting his brother’s attention and earning profit and it brings out the worst in him. Max Grodenchik seizes this material and runs with it. It’s clear to see why the writers started giving him more and more to do.

How like the Nagus to come up with a revolutionary scheme to kick start commerce opportunities in the Gamma Quadrant but to hand it Quark just in case anything goes wrong. That Nagus is a tricky one, but he knows how to line his pockets AND stay atop the Tower of Commerce.

Performance – Wallace Shawn gets one of his best moments in the post-credits scene with Sisko and Kira. He gets to be charming, devious, funny and totally outmanoeuvred by Sisko. His amused reaction to that is great. His attempts to woo Kira are hilarious, especially her deep embarrassment of the gifts and ass pinchings.

Pel is an interesting character and one that probably would have made more of an impact had she been played by a more theatrical actress. It’s quite a muted turn when a brilliant, insightful sort of character was needed (think Moogie). However, I really like the gender politics on display and how all of the various characters respond to Pel. Quark is very confused (especially because he thinks she is man initially), Dax is shocked (moreso that she is a woman than that she is in love with Quark in a brilliant scene that shows that LGBTQ rights have finally struck Star Trek), Rom is thrilled (because it means he can discredit her) and the Nagus is utterly appalled (he can barely look at her or Quark, being the representation of the stuffy old Ferengi ways). That one character can provoke all these reactions is great, I just wish the character herself has been a little more impressive.

Best moment – The episode literally opens with Morn asleep on the Promenade sleeping off a hangover. That’s why this is the most realistic of Trek shows.

The sequence where Quark discovers that Pel is a female and faints is a perfectly played moment of silent comedy.

The wittiest moment of the entire episode comes when Pel rips her ears off in front of the Nagus and the consequences be damned. It forces Quark to think fast and cut a deal with the Nagus for his silence but lose his profits at the same time. It’s the moment when you realise he has genuine feelings for Pel. For a Ferengi this is the ultimate sacrifice. The performances are on point and the dialogue is fast and funny.

I wish they hadn’t done that – How amusing that the old Let This Be Our Last Battlefield method of painting aliens’ faces is back in action. The Dozai are easily the least impressive looking aliens that ever turned up on DS9 but on the plus side it does make a change from the usual bumps on the forehead. They are insanely overacted in some very funny scenes. I happen to get a great deal of enjoyment from over the top performances in SF (I’m a Doctor Who fan first and foremost) and so this stuff is my meat and potatoes. However, I can see why Trek fans might be a little mortified by it. I rather like their centre of commerce though, with people being shot to death over deals and a huge vat of alcohol spewing forth like a waterfall to get everybody het up.

A reason to watch this episode again – Hardly a classic, but Rules of Acquisition has an engaging, light-hearted tone, some interesting things to say about Ferengi society, features Wallace Shawn at his most excited and is beautifully acted by all concerned. The script is the problem, which is trying very hard to be controversial (the whole Quark having feelings for a man element) but never has the nuts to go all the way with it and instead leans on high-jinks rather than biting commentary. The other problem is Pel herself who remains sweet and incisive throughout but never really convinces as a truly impressive Ferengi female. We need Moogie. If this episode had been really bold they would have made Pel a bloke and forced Quark to face the idea that he might be bisexual or had Pel make far more of a mark on Ferengi society as a female who is earning profit. Instead it all gets tucked away a little too neatly and the scene where Quark is beset with gay panic is played entirely for laughs (it’s the only scene in the whole piece that is difficult to watch). I like this a lot and it is an easy watch and it is being brought to life by the greatest ensemble cast we’ve ever seen so at the end of the day it is still a perfectly enjoyable piece, but I can’t help thinking it could have been more.

***1/2 out of *****