Season Twenty-Five

The Doctor and Ace head off into the universe and face up to Daleks, the tyrannical Helen A, Cybermen and psychotic robot clowns!

The regulars -

Remembrance of the Daleks written by Ben Aaronovitch and directed by Andrew Morgan

The Real McCoy: ‘This is the Doctor. President Elect of the High Council of Time Lords. Keeping of the Legacy of Rassilon. Defender of the Laws of Time. Protector of Gallifrey…’ That last line is quite ignoble considering what is coming up. What a difference a year makes! I’ve always been on the fence about Andrew Carmel’s approach to the Doctor because whilst I like the way that he tries to shroud him in mystery (recalling the First Doctor) I’m not sure that the hints and whispers about terrible doings in his past and seeing him smugly committing genocide is perhaps the best way to go about it. Not only that but I still to this day think that McCoy was never better than during his goofy first season, deliriously silly and funny and playing with the show as the light entertainer that McCoy naturally is. In Delta and the Bannermen he is simply a delight to be around. Although during Remembrance he is generally fine (more than that actually, he seems to positively revel in this change of direction) there were times over the next two years where McCoy would look extremely uncomfortable trying to bring gravity to the role and failing because that isn’t where his talents lie. Battlefield, The Curse of Fenric and Survival all suffer in this regard and see him trying act full of rage and failing to convince. On the other hand it is clear that things couldn’t stay the way they were going without DWAS all abandoning their anoraks at the lingering death of their favourite show and at this stage it looks as if both McCoy and Cartmel are totally committed to bringing the show up to date and reinvigorating the character. This is even more of a jarring leap than Revelation of the Daleks was to The Mysterious Planet when the sixth Doctor had suddenly turned charming and cuddly. Between seasons the Doctor has stopped acting like he is in a pantomime every week (I mean it as a genuine compliment when I say that I bet McCoy is awesome in pantomime) and suddenly behaves as though the universe is much darker place. What happened to bring about this change is a mystery to me to this day (and it surprises me that BBC books haven’t tried to explain why with their continuity plugging PDA range). I don’t want to sound as though I am being too harsh at the changes that have been made because I genuinely think that Remembrance of the Daleks gets it just about right. I’m just not entirely sold on the changes as a whole over the next two years. What’s definitely true is that Ace fits his new character like a glove (it’s a far more effectively pairing than McCoy and Langford) and their chemistry is magnificent.

I love the way the Doctor just dives into the van and starts a conversation with Rachel without introducing himself. This is a man who thinks it is his right to stick his nose in and makes no apologies for it. The way he spits ‘humans’ so contemptuously might just be one of my favourite McCoy line readings. He has never felt more alien. The judgement continues when the Doctor notes that we have an amazing capacity for self deception when it comes to alien invasions of the past. Not for much longer. Note to self, Doctor, when you want to investigate school premises in the future try and think up a suitable cover story (that psychic paper in your top pocket might help) rather than blundering in going on about evil lingering in the corridors. The café scene is absolutely vital because it’s the one and only time where we see the Doctor agonising over his new role of attempting to play God and tidying up the universe. It adds a whole new dimension to what he does later in the tale because at least we know he cares about the consequences. Stories like The Curse of Fenric don’t bother to add this sympathetic dimension and suffer for it. He commands the attention of the Counter Measures team (I realise they weren’t called that in this story but I’m not going to keep referring to them as the ‘60s UNIT’), treating them as chess pieces to be manoeuvred and strategically putting everything in place to ensure his plan is a success. I chuckled when he smashed the Dalek transmat to pieces after behaving in a much subtler way for the first two episodes. Its strange how people don’t like how Tom Baker takes the piss out of the Daleks in Destiny but McCoy seems to scrape a pass when he enters the shuttle and rips the shit out of the lonely scout. One was script edited by Douglas Adams, I suppose, so the humour is more open to criticism. McCoy is simply sublime when he indulges in verbal wordplay with Molloy’s Davros at the climax. I don’t think he has ever been this authoritative when squaring up to a villain. The very idea of the Doctor causing genocide knowingly is something that was given real thought in Genesis of the Daleks. Now he’s done with talk and he simply wants this force wiped out, permanently. To turn the hero of this show into a mass murderer is a bold step for the show to take (not just taking the Doctor down such a dark route but the destruction of Skaro as well – we’ve been popping back to that planet sporadically for over 25 years!) and it’s a shame that Doctor Who is more action adventure than adult drama because there is a whole field of moral consequences to plough. Check out the BBC novel The Algebra of Ice, it deals with the Doctor coming to terms with his new position in the grand scheme of things and the frightening steps he is taking. It does everything that the TV series didn’t have the time or the inclination to follow up on.

Oh Wicked: ‘When I say stay put I mean stay put. Not take on an entire Dalek assault squad single handed!’ Whatever I might have said about Ace’s character appearing in too many stories and how Sophie Aldred fails to convince me on audio at times I still have a great deal of affection for her character as portrayed on television. Aldred had a very natural screen presence and would only disappoint when the scripts let her down and gave her some abysmal ‘street’ dialogue (Sesame Street more like). Mind when she turns up at the beginning of this story with a massive ghetto blaster (couldn’t the Doctor have given her a nice iPod instead?) you can pinpoint the era this was made immediately. At this point in the shows troubled period Ace is exactly what the series needs – a straight talking, cute and resourceful tomboy, the sort of companion you can imagine the Doctor wanting to travel around with (that hasn’t been the case in a while). He knows that she is carrying Nitro Nine but chooses to ignore it until he needs to use it. Let’s assume that Ace and Mike spend a night together and their relationship wasn’t all just coy smiles otherwise it makes her reaction to his betrayal feel a little…overdone. Mind you he asks her to the pictures in episode three and surely you wouldn’t do that after a night of hot romance? Finally we’ve got a companion who doesn’t just stand there and scream at the Daleks (even Romana succumbed) and actually sets at them with a baseball bat. There are times like this when Ace is simply the best companion ever (and she does love flirting with a squaddie). Aldred does have a stab at making Ace’s heartbreak feel real but there’s not really enough substance to this relationship to break your heart.

Counter-Measures: What a stroke of genius it was to set the Doctor up with a proto version of UNIT in the sixties, giving the show a real sense of nostalgia without having to bring the old team out of retirement. There is the military buffoon (‘Chunky’ Gilmore), the scientific advisor (Rachel Jensen), her assistant (Alison) and a loyal sergeant (Mike). The fact that they are the best written and performed set of guest characters on the show for an age really helps to sell this story. They are so successful I could imagine further stories being set in and around this time period just to use them again. Or alternatively Big Finish could re-assemble the actors 20 years later and write and audio spin off series. Pamela Salem and Sylvester McCoy share such great chemistry (in the same way that Nerys Hughes and Peter Davison did in Kinda) that she is one of my greatest ‘I wish she could have been a companion.’ The Doctor always seems to have fantastic chemistry with intelligent, mature women so it baffles me as to why they keep giving him young girls to hang around with. We never quite figure out why Rachel trusts the Doctor so implicitly from the start, you just get a sense that she sees what an intelligent addition to the team he would be. He encourages her to think outside the box, to admit that the Daleks possess technology that is far superior to that of humanity. Rachel is in every sense a Liz Shaw wannabe (‘you drag me down from Cambridge!’) but manages to find her own unique character within those boundaries and I loved the moment where she ranted at Gilmore (‘bluntly Group Captain we’re reliant on the Doctor because only the Doctor knows what is going on!’). The Doctor makes the obvious parallel between Gilmore and the Brigadier early on and their love/hate relationship is massively fun and very familiar. He needs the Group Captain’s assistance just in case things get nasty but his plan is quietly sort this whole mess out without them trying to fire a single shot.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘You can always judge a man by the qualities of his enemies.’

‘That thing merely disorients and weakens them. What do you expect me to do then - talk to them sternly?’

The Good:

• You know you are dealing with something as bit special when the pre-titles sequence (itself a rarity in Doctor Who) features Martin Luther King’s ‘I have a dream’ speech over a slow roll back of the Earth in space being approached by a Dalek spaceship. Remembrance of the Daleks immediately feels like grown up television and I doubt this would have sat as comfortably before the credits in any of the last seasons stories.
• I love Cartmel’s approach to breaking the Doctor and Ace straight into a story. Season twenty-four continued the faltering 80s approach of every story containing an establishing TARDIS scene that added very little to the story. This season (and the next apart from two exception) the Doctor and Ace would enter the story in its location and get all the expository dialogue done there. Straight to the point. Nice.
• We haven’t seen anything as well paced and gritty as the action sequence in Totters Lane since the early UNIT days (Ambassadors of Death and The Mind of Evil spring to mind). After the camp as Christmas tone last year it might give you dramatic whiplash for the show abandon the jokes and to be taking itself so seriously. The action is furious; bullets spitting, barrels leaping, soldiers dying and because it is a lone Dalek that is causing the terror it is one of the most effective portrayals of the species to date. The POV shots are marvellous.
• A fantastic use of the Daleks in what is probably their most effective story since Genesis of the Daleks (I love Revelation but even I would stop short of calling it a great Dalek story). They’ve never looked sexier in the classic TV series with the spruced up Imperial Daleks taking my vote as the classiest looking Daleks of all time. What’s great is how we keep seeing the Daleks from so many different perspectives. For the Doctor they are his mortal enemy and he is determined to wipe them out once and for all. For Ace they are her first glimpse at alien aggressors on her travels and a genuinely formidable force. Rachel is thrilled at the prospect of getting to understand an alien life form. Radcliffe sees them as racist sympathisers who will be the muscle for his KEEP BRITAIN WHITE Party. To Gilmore they are a tactical force who need to be outgunned. It hasn’t been since Power of the Daleks that we have seen this many fascinating viewpoints of the Daleks in one story. I don’t think we needed the potted history of the Daleks (‘they conquered the Earth in the 22^nd century’) but since the Doctor is explaining them to Ace they just about get away with it. (however there is little difference between this and the Doctor’s exposition in the park in The TV Movie). The Daleks just kick ass in this story, don’t they? Smashing down doors, heads blowing off in spectacular fashion (especially when they do it sequentially like a pyrotechnic barber shop trio!), hunting on the streets and making the most dramatic entrance possible (blowing some gates clean away) so one faction can kick the crap out of the other. One of the Imperials literally goes up like the most combustible firework! That’s before mentioning the weapon of mass destruction that is the Special Weapons Dalek that can take out several Daleks with one shot. I love the look of the Renegade Daleks’ battle computer as well and the voice is especially creepy. When it is revealed that the little girl is nested inside with the Daleks leeching of her imagination I cheered with delight. Its great twist. How awesome is the scene where the claw snaps out and tries to take the Doctor’s head off? The Daleks are properly scary again. Its nice to see that the Dalek that spontaneously blew its top in Death to the Daleks wasn’t a one off with mental problems. With a little push (as the Doctor does to the Black Dalek here) they are all capable of it.
• It’s always a pleasure to see Michael Sheard in Doctor Who. This is probably his smallest role in the series but he still makes an impression as the Headmaster from Hell. Then he’s had an awful lot of practice on Grange Hill. Peter Halliday’s appearance made me glow too.
• Kisses to the past abound from a return to trip to Coal Hill School, the Doctor and Ace in the science lab, a book of the French Revolution. The difference between this and the never ending deluge of continuity in the mid 80s is that it isn’t intrusive and the plot doesn’t rely on us remembering things from yesteryear. They are delightful nods to An Unearthly Child to those in the know and quickly skipped over for those who don’t. I wouldn’t be aversed to continuity of this nature in the 50^th anniversary season.
• The first cliffhanger is justifiably lauded for finally showing us a Dalek floating up stairs and putting an end to all those predictable jokes about how manoeuvrable they are (its either that or the hiding behind the sofa anecdote, both of which are so exhausted of meaning that you have to say them ‘knowingly’ to make an impact). It’s a terrific moment and the effects shot of the Dalek being assembled on he transmat pad is just as incredible. Sometimes Doctor Who pulls a special effect out of the bag (the opening Trial shot) that will convince you they had a much larger budget than was the actually the case. All of the cliffhangers in Remembrance are superbly realised and they all give me a ‘first transmission’ thrill every time I watch it. Ace being ambushed by a squadron of Daleks in the school is one of the shows most impressive set pieces; a whirlwind of destruction and cut together so fast it really gets your heart thumping! The spaceship landing in the playground remains one of Doctor Who’s most spectacular physical effects. It’s a real finger in the eye of CGI.
• Its domestic Who long before Russell T Davies took hold of reins. You can see why Davies went for this approach because the scenes set at Mike’s mothers boarding house and the café add a great deal of realism and warmth to the story.
• I love it when a theme is handled with subtlety and isn’t rammed down your throat. The ‘white kids fire bombed it’ moment in Ghost Light (as beautifully performed as it is) is the only point during that story that I cringe. Which is why the NO COLOREDS scene is so vital because it manages to discreetly unearth this story’s theme and show Ace’s position without uttering a single word. Had this been a scripted dialogue scene (or Cartmel’s future form) it might have been horrendous but as presented its one of Doctor Who’s quietest and most impressive morality lessons. It sure the hell beats Pertwee gazing into the camera and reminding us that war is hell or the world is going to pot. The ‘keep the outsiders out’ speech from Mike later on is nowhere near as effective and Ace’s ‘not pure in their blobbiness’ speech has come directly from CBBC.
• It wouldn’t be an 80s Dalek story without an appearance by Davros and he makes a particularly emaciated return to the show after his confident turn in Revelation of the Daleks. Like the Doctor between seasons, it would appear that much has happened to the character since we last saw him. I’ve heard it commented that Davros isn’t really needed in this story but I think it makes all the difference for the Doctor to be talking to a person and not a Dalek as he tricks them into destroying Skaro. Davros’ initial gloat which turns to fury when he realises he has been tricked gives the climax an edge that it would have lacked had it been a simple Dalek intoning the same dialogue. Terry Molloy is always great value and much of his dialogue is imminently quotable. ‘Does it worry you, Doc-tor, that with it I will transform Skaro’s sun into a source of unimaginable power! And with that power at my disposal the Daleks shall sweep away Gallifrey and its impotent chorum of Time Lords!’ It might not go down quite the way he was expecting but lets never again say that Davros isn’t a man of his word.
• Whilst a funeral based climax is not original (Black Orchid) but its still a thoughtful coda for a story that has filled its running time with unusual narrative extras like this (the pre titles sequence, the café scene). Its nice to see Mike given an appropriate send off even after his betrayal and given McLinden’s death it gives the climax an extra layer of poignancy.

The Bad:

• There’s no nice way of saying this – Keff McCulloch’s musical score for this story threatens to single handedly tear down its success. It takes a classily directed piece of science fiction and turns it into something cheap and tinselly every time it kicks in. After a while the story is so good that you barely notice the assault on your eardrums but I can only imagine what Dominic Glynn or Mark Ayres might have brought to this tale (the latters Terror at Totters Lane can be heard playing over a sequence of this story on the Greatest Show in the Galaxy DVD). Listen to it and weep. McCulloch’s disco beat when the Doctor and Ace go Dalek hunting has to be heard to be believed.
• Jasmine Breaks isn’t the worlds most convincing child actress. She’s fine when she has to stand around looking menacing (because practically any child could manage that!) but sounds uncomfortable when she has dialogue to say (she really can’t get her mouth around ‘departure imminent’). Mind you I love her terror attack on the boarding house in the last episode, murdering Mike and hunting down Ace.
• Under no circumstances would two civilians be able to procure an Anti Tank Rocket with such ease. Its so easy, its comical (‘you’ll have to sign for them, sir’).
• I love the idea of the Doctor visiting the scene of his first story but since there has been no hint in the 24 intervening years that there was unfinished business waiting for him there I’m not sure if this works. It makes the Doctor look slapdash for waiting this long, doesn’t tie up with the continuity of the series (which saw the Doctor’s initial encounter with the Daleks take place after he left Earth so how did he set all this up destroy them before he met them in the first place?) and feels like it is making things up on the spot to please the fans when this is exactly the sort of thing that gets them in a tizzy.
• Forgive me but why doesn’t the Doctor just tell Gilmore what he is planning on doing? Rather than running rings around him he could have simply explained his plan about the Daleks leaving with the Hand of Omega and blowing up Skaro and they could have laid down their arms and let them get on with it.
• Maybe they should have put down some planks for those Daleks? Watching them wobbling down the cobbled streets like they’ve had one to many at the pub isn’t their finest hour.
• Mike has clearly been attending the Keys of Marinus school of revealing yourself as the villain, dropping some information that only a bad guy would know…
• I love Roy Skelton’s Dalek voices but could he couldn’t have sounded more like Zippy from Rainbow (with a cold) when he says ‘Shuttle force has entered heavy resistance…’

The Shallow Bit: What a babe Dursley McLinden is. He’s such a traditionally handsome male lead the story uses that image to trick you into thinking that he is a perfect love interest for Ace. It makes his betrayal cut that much deeper because we didn’t see it coming either. Sophie Aldred holding an bazooka and blowing the scalp off a Dalek is one of the hottest things Doctor Who has ever presented.

Result: Remembrance of the Daleks is a great story and its one of the few McCoy’s that in my experience can turn the heads of fans that aren’t keen on the era. My husband is really not keen on the seventh Doctor and Ace but he adored this tale when we watched it. When she was younger my friends daughter made me watch the cliffhanger to episode two over and over again because she found it so exciting. Even my mother (televisions harshest critic) had positive things to say about this one. Its one of those rare classic Doctor Who stories where the story is as great as the sum of its parts and it never flags for its entire length. You’ve got an engaging guest cast, fantastic production values, a ambitious portrayal of the Daleks, exquisite kisses to the past, heart stopping action, twists and turns and a Doctor and companion who seem made for each other. It works as both a monster tale, an examination of the Doctor, an all out action adventure and something far more adult and thoughtful. Andrew Cartmel has started to introduce some very strong themes into the show from racism to genocide and a betrayal of love and Ben Aaronovitch packs the story full of extremely quotable dialogue. A creative renaissance for the show? Maybe that’s a little grandiose but Remembrance of the Daleks sees this show being more sure of itself than it has been for years. It was proof to an increasingly doubtful audience that there was still a great deal for Doctor Who to give: 9/10

The Happiness Patrol written by Graeme Curry and directed by Chris Clough

TO BE REVIEWED...


Silver Nemesis written by Kevin Clarke and directed by Chris Clough

This story in a nutshell: Right in the heart of the Cartmel era sits this three part disaster that tries to mix Cybermen, 16th Century sorcery, skinheads, jazz musicians, Nazis, living statues, millionaires and lamas.

The Real McCoy: Just as we are enjoying a nice relaxed scene between the Doctor and Ace kicking back and enjoying some music on a sunny riverside afternoon along comes the idiotic Cartmel staple of the Doctor leaving messages for himself to ruin everything. McCoy looks desperately cute when he is drenched after his little swim in the river. Unfortunately there is an infinite number of possibilities as to who might have wanted to kill them so narrowing it down might be a little difficult. He’s such a wonderful geek; some men have a little black book and fill it full of numbers and descriptions of their favourite shags but the Doctor’s full of planets in danger with a terminal rating! The Doctor holds up what looks like a mop whilst wearing a fez – so that’s where Moffatt got the idea! He’s quite cheeky ducking into the royal residential area of Windsor and what a numpty he is simply marching up to the Queen and asking for the armed forces to be put on standby for him! Oddly the Doctor doesn’t try and prevent the deaths of the soldiers he just hops off in the TARDIS and lets them wipe each other out. The Doctor moves on from the naked skinheads as though that is the sort of thing he discovers all the time in the woods. The Doctor looks terrified that Peinforte is about to leak out all of his secrets, maybe he does have something dark hidden in his past after all.

Oh Wicked: I’m not sure if Kevin Clarke quite understood how to write for Ace because she seems to spend the three episodes glued to the Doctor’s side asking question after question but not really exhibiting much personality. Amazing how likable the Doctor and Ace are when they don’t say a word and simply whistle through the countryside! There’s a lovely moment where the Doctor sends Ace to blow up the Cybership with the nitro nine she isn’t carrying but it does rather make a mockery of all the times he objects to it. Plus it does beg the question what sort of suicidal death wish must Ace have to carrying explosives in deodorant bottles about with her? I don’t buy Ace being scared of the Cybermen since they are such a useless lot.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘Hello I’m the Doctor and I believe you want to kill me!’
‘Professor. Doctor…who are you?’

The Good Stuff: Fiona Walker is such good value as Lady Peinforte and whilst the character is somehow both over and underwritten (she talks the talk but there is no real ambition in her schemes) she is a delight to watch chewing the scenery. She understands how to dig out some entertainment in all this drivel unlike Anton Diffring. Peinforte’s method of walking through a glass door is to smash it with a chair through it! The Doctor mentions Validium being the ultimate defence for Gallifrey creating by Omega and Rassilon and it’s a shame that we can’t see that story instead of this. The statue coming to life is easily the most impressive thing on display here; it looks like something awesome exploding with life. Ace on the gantry level looks awesome (except for a tiny knock of the camera).

The Bad Stuff: Typical of this era of Doctor Who we hop about like a fly on a griddle from one narrative strand (and time period) to the next with no real explanation for ages as to why. There’s no reason to believe that just because they filmed in sunlight around a few exotic plants and found a parrot to shoot that the production team didn’t take a trip to South America…oh wait there is. The idea of a man trying resurrect the Nazis and create the Fourth Reich is such an old idea its beyond a cliché. And what a shame that Anton Diffring is taking the whole thing so seriously (even if famously he said he didn’t have a clue what the story was about) as we could have had some fun with the character of De Flores but instead he’s crushingly dull. How funny that the Cybermen stooges are drinking a pint and enjoying the jazz – these are not like the Cybermen agents of old (say the Moonbase when they had horrid spidery viruses up their faces and were actually scary!). What’s this? A few drops of blood and you can travel in time? The two ladies in the café are so ungrateful that such a spectacular display of screaming was put on for their benefit – I would have at least clapped! Beyond it being a really cheaply handled scene who precisely gassed the policemen and how did they know they would be there? Fancy sticking in a long shot of Windsor but filming at Arundel, I would have just stuck in a line saying that the treasures were being kept at Arundel for safe keeping and the Queen was making a visit. The editing is horrendous when the story cuts from the Doctor talking with the Queen’s aide to De Flores discovering the Nemesis. Even if you didn’t know that this story had been hacked to pieces to fit the transmission length you can tell that great lumps of scenes have been lopped off. What a crap Cybership! Bring back the saucers on strings! How does a gunfight between Nazis and Cybermen lack any kind of pace of and excitement, I don’t know but if you want to find out watch the not particularly explosive yawnathon action scene in part two. Keff McCulloch’s disco music of death really comes into its own in episode two – just listen to how horrible the score is when the Cybership is landing in the field. I’m not sure what the Cyberleader says when they are trying to cut the statue free. Oh dear, the skinheads are so appallingly written and performed you feel sorry for the actors having to chew on such a middle class BBC dialogue in the style of young thugs. The shot of the Cybermen listening to jazz just about sums up the clash of narrative styles that simply do not gel in this adventure. There are lots of low angle shots of Cybermen that are trying to make them look menacing but when they can be defeated by anything from an arrow to a gold coin to a gentle shove with gold dust its all in vein! So funny that we cut to a model of the Cybership just as it blows up! Handily there is a huge crack in Peinforte’s tomb to break it in two. I almost dropped off around the time the Nazis and the Cyber Race started talking about an alliance, the dialogue is astonishingly banal. Back in The Invasion a Cyber War Fleet was naturally expected as a precursor to their hypnotic beam but now it is packaged into a cliffhanger which might have worked had they not look liked a bunch of egg boxes hanging in space! Gah – the sequence where the Doctor dazzles the Cybermen with his illegal checkmate move is abysmally directed and makes the Cybermen look (somehow) even more ridiculous than they already do! Why the fuck don’t they just gun him down instead of holding his hat and brolley? Forgive me for being a little ignorant but the chess game in Lady Peinforte’s study takes on greater meaning in The Curse of Fenric so does that mean that Fenric popped up in her study and set up the chess set knowing the Doctor would appear at some point? How did he do that if he was trapped in a flask like a genie in a bottle? If this was planned all along why wasn’t this scene given more significance? Why is the McCoy era so amateurishly stapled together? Were these Cybermen reject stock or something? One of them blasts away at Ace about twenty times and fails to hit her and yet she hits the bull’s-eye first time with her gold coin and explodes his chest! Shouldn’t they have sensors and camera eyes and shit that allows them to target things accurately? Then you get Ace taking out three of them that have her cornered…what has happened to these once menacing creatures? I DON’T BELIEVE IT! Then two Cybermen have both the Doctor and Ace well within in shooting distance and instead of blasting the crap out of them they let the Doctor trick them into walking to their deaths? And since when have the Cybermen been defeated by a little fire? Argh! This is horseshit! He even tells them what he is planning! I’m not sure why Lady Peinforte leaps into bed with the statue at the end (‘She is one with your statue’ – yeah, great explanation, thanks!). The Cyberleader’s bland speech of the creed of his race is barely audible and utterly unmemorable – what happened to the days of Earthshock when this sort thing was done properly? Clearly model effects have reached a stage where they can be realistically achieved – remember the impressive destruction of the Nostferatu at the end of Dragonfire – so what is up with the duff electronic fireworks when the Cyber fleet is destroyed? The final indignity sees the Cyberleader stabbed in the chest with an arrow. The superimposed top of Lady Peinforte’s house wobbles precariously in every scene it features. As has been pointed out over and over again Silver Nemesis has exactly the same plot as Remembrance of the Daleks with an awesome Gallifreyan weapon launched by the Doctor causing all manner of problems for him and with it he tricks the nasties who are after it into destroying themselves. Except one story is a classic and the other is shite. Not only does Ace have to explain the conclusion but she also brings up that it was ‘just how he nailed the Daleks!’

The Shallow Bit: I hate to be pedantic but is there really a type of jazz called ‘straight blowing’? ‘Cause it sounds filthy! The first moment of bondage in Doctor Who as two skinheads are tied up in their boxers and hung from a tree!

Result: Ironic that Revenge of the Cybermen and Silver Nemesis should be paired off into one DVD box set because they are not only two of the worst ever classic Doctor Who stories but its also two of the most abysmal uses of the Cybermen as well. Silver Nemesis is one of the worst examples of writing I have seen committed to celluloid, the story literally jumps from location to location with no clear narrative progression, no time to get to know the characters and the plot is simply vomited up in great chunks of exposition and yet oddly there is time for dull padding scenes (the Queen, Lady Remington, the Jazz, the skinheads none of which add anything to the story). Its clear upon watching that the material has been hacked to pieces with some real slipshod editing and Chris Clough’s direction is remarkably bland for somebody who was providing some very atmospheric work (his Matrix scenes in The Ultimate Foe blast crap like this out of the water) a couple of years ago. The best thing Silver Nemesis has going for it is a large amount of location work, Fiona Walker chewing the scenery as Lady Peinforte and the occasionally sweet seventh Doctor and Ace interaction. Against that there are three badly written sets of villains with the Cybermen coming off particularly poorly and its heartbreaking to think that this is the story we are left to remember them by for two decades! Final proof I think that there is no point in making everything look pretty when the writer and the director have fallen asleep – it doesn’t matter how expensive a story looks (it feels as though a couple of fans have taken a camcorder outside and decided to film a Doctor Who adventure of their own) if the content is dull as dishwater: 2/10

The Greatest Show in the Galaxy by Stephen Wyatt and directed by Alan Wareing

This story in a nutshell: The Doctor and Ace visit the circus! And destroy it before they leave…

Master Manipulator: At last a McCoy story to review! Unfortunately it is one, which is totally unrepresentative of his era because for one it is quite good and for two he seems very comfortable in the role. I’ll leave my more scathing comments for my least favourite Doctor to stories such as Silver Nemesis and Battlefield because for the most part throughout Greatest Show you might be lead to think that McCoy has been playing this part for years and has got the quirkiness and the cuteness of the Doctor just about right!

McCoy juggling in the TARDIS and looking all befuddled as he loses one of his balls is very sweet. He’s a weirdo…you can tell it at a glance you know but he manages to charm the pertinacious stallholder with his elementary diplomacy of eating her plaup! I love his subtle way for acquiring information: ‘Is it far this appalling spectacle?’ Unfortunately McCoy cannot quite pull off the ‘there and back, off peak, weekend break, super save senior citizen, bi monthly season with optional luggage facilities, a free cup of coffee in a plastic cup and make it snappy you metallic moron!’ speech and ends up looking as though he is trying to remember the dialogue and trips over his line. Have a look at the Doctor’s face when he is asked if he wants to see the future, he looks haunted at the idea. Everything seems to alarm him so! He can sense evil apparently (its one up from scenting it in The War Machines I guess). He prefers to keep on wandering. It really bugs me when the Doctor is portrayed as somebody naïve and stupid, everybody tries to warn him, he is selected straight to be a part of the show and Ace is screaming at him not to and he still declares ‘it’s a trap!’ What a pleb! ‘You’re just an ageing hippy professor’ ‘There might be something in that, yes’ – a lovely sentiment but it took a team of specialist linguists and speech therapists ten years to translate McCoy’s muffled delivery of that line! All the hints about Mags being a werewolf once again makes the Doctor look a fool – the audience should never be this far ahead of the Doctor and the script certainly should point out his stupidity (‘Surely you should have guessed?’). He makes up for it however with his little ‘woof’ at the Chief Clown. Everything he does in the ring of the Gods is magical, understandably McCoy seems totally at ease with his material and he even manages to rant and rave with spectacular results. His besting of the Gods of Ragnarok is a real highlight for the manipulative trickster.

Oh Wicked: What I love about Greatest Show is that is manages to be a great story (a minor miracle for this era) and it gives Ace a central role where she can display all her strengths and yet she doesn’t completely steal the limelight from the Doctor (another small miracle) like in the next season. Her awful teen slang is not at its worst here but there are still a few moments of ‘mega naff’ and go that tinhead?’ which grate. Ace thinks the circus is kids stuff apart from the clowns, which she finds creepy. She’s an undesirable intergalactic hippy! What a stroppy cow! She walks into the circus and then tries to walk out again and then turns her back when someone is talking to her! Its attitudes like that that stops her from being invited to all the really great parties. Ace’s scenes with Bellboy are really nice.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘Do you want me to do something ‘orrible to your face?’
‘I know its not as good as it used to be but I’m still terribly interested.’
‘These hippy fellows are quite so dumb as they look – they didn’t come here just for the fun of it! Well, some of them did but they’re all dead!’
‘Captain Cook! You only a scoundrel and a meddling fool you’re also a crushing bore!’
‘So long as you entertain us you may live. When you no longer entertain us, you die.’

The Good Stuff: I rather like the spangly McCoy theme tune purely because I first started watching during season 25 at the tender age of 8 and every time I hear it I remember how excited I used to get when it came on! Imagine robotic junk mail that invades your spaceship and plugs itself into your systems to advertise and then taunts you when you aren’t interested? The hearse gliding amongst the sand dunes being driven by a clown in a mourning (geddit) suit is typical of this stories skin crawling visuals. The direction is so smooth; the story flows beautifully and with real visual panache. With a collection of oddball characters, fun menace and bursting with imagination this story is like a throwback to the Williams era at his best. The robot in the sand looks as though he is burping fire! The big top has a beautiful ringed planet filling the sky behind it. The grinning conductor is another wonderful piece of design. Bellboy being tortured, as the camera pans in on Mags screaming is far more dramatic than anything they might have shown us. I love the description of a circus as personal expression, developing your personal skills. The musical score is subversive, surreal, seductive and perfectly suited to the material, its one of the best. The Chief Clown is a justly celebrated villain; he is all the more sinister for being played so quietly and only losing it when things spiral out of control. Ian Reddington really does deserve credit for making his so memorable. The way he strokes the mechanical clowns is really sinister. Who said Doctor Who wasn’t capable of putting the willies up you in the 80’s? Ace being trapped in the dark with the silently animating robots is as scary as anything that has come before. I love the bland family and their execution scorecards (and their comments that nothing is happening and they are bored are very apt!). In a story packed with memorable visuals the eye in the well is one of the best. Are these the best-looking corridor scenes ever (bleached billowing tent corridors)? I love how Captain Cook manipulates Whizzkid into going into the ring first (‘It is a sacrifice I am prepared to make.’). A friendly hippy circus turned into a trap for killing people – that line was made for Doctor Who. Bellboy’s suicide (and especially the Chief Clown’s chilling reaction) is one of the highlights of the McCoy era. I find the theatrics where Captain Cook is tempting Mags into murdering the Doctor extremely quotable. The set piece of the slow motion explosion of the conductor is another great scene from the last episode. The Gods of Ragnarok look iconically good, it really feels like Doctor Who is kicking into gear just as the series is ending. Exploding crystal balls, walls tumbling, Gods toppled, the big top exploding and the Doctor walking very calmly away from an almighty explosion – can you think of a more climatic conclusion to a Doctor Who story?

The Bad Stuff: The opening rap…isn’t rapping. Nord the Vandal is an unsubtle parody of blokey layabouts and Whizzkid is an unsubtle parody of a Doctor Who fan. Both of their deaths are very welcome. They are just fodder really but both characters have moments that, if a non-fan turned over and starting watching, all their fears about Doctor Who going down the swanny would be confirmed. A couple of shots of the punk werewolf might wind you for a second but its pretty duff looking overall with luminous paint smeared all over Jessica Martin’s face and fake plastic nails.

The Shallow Bit: Bellboy is gorgeous! Was it JNT’s idea to have him tied up with his chest exposed and writhing about orgasmically?

Result: A total surprise after two mediocre stories, The Greatest Show in the Galaxy proves that Doctor Who still has some surprises up its sleeve. The first episode dazzles and the last episode is magical (probably my favourite of the McCoy era) but the middle two episodes meander terribly but are helped by tremendous, sinister direction. I actually think Paradise Towers has a stronger script but this is much more confidently made and papers over any cracks in logic and characterisation (how much depth can you give people called Ringmaster and Chief Clown?). Although he has come from a comedy background this style of menacing humour is far more suited to McCoy than the shenanigans of season 24 and the darker melodrama of season 26, this is probably his best performance in the series. Packed with imagination and scares, this is a show at the top of its game in its death throes: 9/10