VOY – Dragon’s Teeth

Plot – One of the more arresting pre-titles sequences features here with a stunning shot of a city under attack and cutting to the survivors desperately racing against time to put themselves in cryogenic suspension. What’s particularly worthwhile here is how the aliens are portrayed as sympathetic and despairing, a far cry from the villains they are later shown to be in the episode. The con starts here to convince the audience that the Vaadwaur are innocent victims and it convinces because there is nobody here to play up to. They also sweep in and rescue Voyager when the chips are down, another act that persuades both the audience and the crew of Voyager that this is a benevolent species. Everything that happens in the first 15 minutes of Dragon’s Teeth is a huge smokescreen to fool us that they can be trusted. In those terms this is a very smart script because you have no reason to believe otherwise, aside from the fact that these things rarely turn out to be too good to be true. We’re on course for having a new ally in the Delta Quadrant and a new method of travel that might get them home quicker. It could have been an intriguing relationship to explore…

…but no the Vaadwaur are the new big bad of the Delta Quadrant, a species that has learnt the hard way that fighting is the best way to stay in control of their destiny.

Character – The character moments that we have are slotted in quickly and efficiently – Seven makes a jibe that most humanoid species are hostile, Janeway snaps that she needs a reminder about Away mission protocols, Neelix gets to show some guile by seeing through the Vaadwaur mask of pleasantness. I’d suggest that Janeway shows some poor judgement in waking up the Vaadwaur army once promised access to the tunnels and a quicker journey home. She’s wreaked havoc on this corner of the Delta Quadrant for her own personal gain.

Another in a long line of The Naomi Wildman Adventures. Here Naomi is the key to tearing of the mask of the Vaadwaur as she’s the only person who can see through their veil of niceness and recognise the villains beneath.

Performance – It’s easy to phone in a performance as alien of the week on Trek as exemplified across all of the mid-90s Trek shows. There is a wealth of bland forgettable, bland acting by actors who know that this is just a couple of weeks work in prosthetics and that they will probably never step on the Paramount lot again. That is what makes those performances that have more worth stand out – because there really is no reason to act as though you are bringing to life Shakespeare but it is effortless to doll out credit to those that do take their one-episode stint serious and deliver something memorable. Jeff Allin takes hold of Gedrin and bleeds him for all he is worth. Callous, thoughtful, power mad, frightened…it’s a character that doesn’t have the time to establish himself but in Allin’s capable hands he makes every scene count. I particularly like the early scenes before his villainous nature is revealed because he slyly plays those scenes amiably but with an element of cold, crisp indifference. It’s possible to discern how his character will turn by the nuances he adds.

Production – Voyager descending on the ruined city and landing is the sort of powerhouse visual that this show commanded at the time. There was very little on TV at this point that had the ability to pull off such spectacular imagery. Even if the CGI has dated a little, the potency of the images still remains. Looking through the windows of Voyager out onto the aching sadness of the dead city around them retains its power.

Best moment – I love the idea of a species that is 900 years out of date but has woken up with the desire to dominate and so goes on the offensive with old ships and weapons. It could have led to some interesting conflict had the Vaadwaur continued to feature. Knives and spears instead of phasers, grappling hooks instead of torpedoes.

Some might say that the episode falls apart when Voyager engages in warfare with the Vaadwaur but for once this isn’t just a throwaway space battle but a fight that happens within a planetary surface and is bolstered by Janeway’s previous fiery exchanges with Gedrin. It’s conflict with substance, which is a rarity on this show. Plus, it looks fantastic. On an eye candy level, this is top dollar.

Worst moment – On Taylor's stint on Voyager, Ron Moore commented to Cinescape magazine, "To be blunt, Bryan Fuller and Mike Taylor were treated very shabbily, and it pissed me off. They took a lot of crap, and the only reason it was done was to keep the guys on the top of the pyramid feeling good about themselves. It also had the effect of keeping the writing staff from working in concert as a group. The DS9 staff by contrast was very tight" Fascinating insight into what was happening on Voyager at the time, and perhaps the reason why the sixth season of this show was so insecure and inconsistent, whereas series six of DS9 was one of Trek’s best.

I wish they hadn’t done that – Originally this story was going to be a two-hour telemovie but it was thought that it would make a much punchier single part episode. It’s a decision that the writers learnt to regret and I can see why – there is a great deal of potential here that could have been explored more and the extra time would have allowed them to inject more character work into the story that it is desperately asking for. So much happens in the space of 45 minutes and there isn’t really the time to give the characters reasonable motives or for the Voyager crew to explore there feelings towards any of this. It is so wham bam thank you ma’am that the characters pretty much only have the time to react to what is happening. What this means is we have an extremely tight episode, plot wise, and it is very exciting. But character is what I turn to Star Trek too and so I am left feeling that something is missing regardless.

A reason to watch this episode again – Dragon’s Teeth is a pretty robust episode of Voyager, especially for the final two seasons where the series was starting fray at the edges. It’s packed full of plot, promise and visual splendour. On those terms it is a big winner. What it lacks is logic, character and lasting consequences but then you can’t have everything. Visually it is one of the most impressive Voyager episodes and I really liked the high action content and dynamism, especially the scenes that bookend the episode. I could bang on about wishing this had more significant impact than it does (it has none and promises much) but that is pretty much this show all over at this point. Dragon’s Teeth is a fine episode in its own right and delivers plenty to (hoho) get your teeth into. What I especially like is that this feels like a setting that is established before Voyager stumbles on them. So many episodes feel as though the races and worlds were created simply to make an episode of Star Trek. Dragon’s Teeth is a corner of the Delta Quadrant that is having its own private war, one that started before they arrived and will continue after they have gone. The direction is particularly strong here.

**** out of *****

Clue for tomorrow's episode: 

TNG – Tin Man

Plot – A race against time between the Federation and the Romulans to reach a piece of alien technology with intelligence; that’s a premise strong enough to get the most hardcore Trek fan salivating. Tin Man is such an unknowable commodity that half the fun of the episode is trying to figure out what the purpose of such a vessel is. Instalments built around these kinds of mysteries always intrigue me, as long as the payoff is satisfying.

It also fascinates me how the writers have to bring in dysfunctional characters to the Enterprise rather than exploring the flaws of the established characters. Gene Roddenberry had a fixed vision that everybody on this ship should get along and be the best of their field. That’s a lovely idea in theory but it doesn’t leave much scope for drama. If your regulars are a bunch of perfect do-gooders then where do you go from there? What is interesting is when characters are brought onto the show who are deeply flawed and idiosyncratic (Dr Pulaski, Lwaxana Troi, Reg Barclay) they manage to stir up the nest a little and provide some of that much missing and much needed conflict. Suddenly Wesley isn’t being smothered by a wonderful mother but being watched over by a crabby old harridan who doesn’t have the best rapport with children. Picard turns into a terrified virgin when Mrs Troi is about because she is so sexually voracious that she will pin him to the wall and put her tongue down his throat as a mere hello. Barclay brings out the impatience in all of the regulars as they have to deal with his phobias and conditions. Here Tam is such a fine addition because he riles everybody with his forthright attitude and unhidden opinions. It’s a glorious turn of events to have the crew of the Enterprise having to guard their thoughts because perhaps they aren’t as innocent and as perfect as they appear. I certainly would have enjoyed his presence a little longer, perhaps a one season stretch like Pulaski.

Character – I love the idea that Picard, an absolute professional, would give the opinion that the latest assignment they have been given is ‘tedious.’

Finally, a decent reason to have Troi involved in an episode. Tin Man is not only linked to her work as a psychologist but reveals some of her backstory when she was being trained. We learn that Betazoid’s develop their psychic ability at adolescence, but some rare individuals have the ability from birth. I felt her connection with Tam was genuine and her empathy towards his situation fell on the right side of compassion. Sometimes she can come across as a know it all or a busybody, but their history meant she had a very natural reason to involve herself in Tam’s psychological affairs.

It’s a unique impression of Data from Tam’s point of view because his mind is so restful unlike all the loud, noisy humanoids he works with.

Performance – What a fine, twitchy performance Harry Groener gives as Tam. A few seconds after his arrival on the Enterprise and he has already started winding people up and I wished he was our resident Betazed rather than Troi. Here’s a character that could create really interesting conflict. He can read minds with pinpoint accuracy and has an alarming habit of saying out loud what everybody is thinking. Having a character who is so obstinate and outspoken reminds me of Pulaski and wish that she were still on board. Watch how Groener gets right in the face of the Enterprise crew who are so used to good relations and calm exchanges. Frakes’ Riker is particularly perturbed. I think we are supposed to find Tam abrasive and unlikeable but I found him to be quite the reverse, a refreshingly forthright individual on this show. People scare him because he can read all of their innermost thoughts and there are simply too many minds for him to keep a handle on them all. Their loves, fears and needs are constantly screaming at him.

Production – When we finally catch up with Tin Man it is filmed and scored with a sense of awe. The music when the Romulans turn up is so wonderfully dramatic that you cannot help but be impressed by their presence.

They truly discovered how to light this show in season three, in a way that makes it far more atmospheric than the first two seasons. It feels as if the lights have come down by a half and everything feels more atmospheric. It doesn’t last, the latter seasons of the TNG (especially season seven) feature the floodlighting approach again but for a couple of years TNG was stylistically vivid.

Tin Man himself is effectively realised; as an inoffensive looking piece of space flotsam on the outside and a living, breathing being on the inside. It reminds me of the aesthetic of Moya in Farscape, using curved corridors and pulsating lighting to suggest an organic structure.

Best moment – The final scene where Data expresses he has found his home on the Enterprise. Troi’s reaction brought tears to my eyes.

Worst moment – How the plot falls into place is perhaps a little too perfect and it feels as though all of the elements have been deliberately set up to allow them to slot together as seamlessly as they do. Tin Man is lonely because he has lost his crew. Tam is a socially awkward Betazoid who prefers isolation from humanoids. Why don’t you tell me how this narrative ends? I prefer my plots to have more frayed edges and to be sown up less neatly.

I wish they hadn’t done that – Levar Burton is an incredibly charismatic performer and he is wasted here on a sea of technobabble. There is no real interest to anything he is saying, no character development to be found. You may as well have a robot saying the same things for all the skill it requires to regurgitate scientific mumbo jumbo.

A reason to watch this episode again – I had no problem stopping Tin Man halfway through because something needed my attention and then coming back to a few days later. That’s not to say it was boring, just that it wasn’t an episode that commanded my attention. It’s pretty responsible as far as Trek goes; a mysterious artefact from the dawn of time, an outspoken telepath, a sinister Romulan presence. Exactly what you would expect from decent Star Trek. Where it really scores is Harry Groener’s performance as Tam, a character that is designed to get under the skin of the regulars and a performance that makes you realise how much the cast play it safe on this show. Groener really goes for it and I certainly wish he had stuck around for a bit longer to poke the ants nest a little more. The plot is fine, not gripping, but it well paced and with some pleasant surprises. I’d say this is the borderline above average TNG, with just enough elements to keep it from getting too bland. Certainly the scenes set on Tin Man itself are beautifully designed, scored and acted and elevate the episode considerably.

***1/2 out of *****

Clue for tomorrow's episode:

ENT – Dead Stop

Plot – One huge bonus – consequences from the previous episode. At this point Enterprise is not a serialised show but it is still, pleasingly, showing that actions have consequences. A bomb went off at the end of the previous episode and this episode begins with an impressive shot of the hull damage to the ship. It provides the impetus to kick start this piece, and the very reason we arrive at this location. It’s very intelligently done and so simple to achieve, it’s shocking that TNG and Voyager avoided consequences for so long. Reed receiving physio-therapy is proof that the dramatic events of last affected both the people on board and the technology.

You might say that Archer setting off the warp plasma and forgoing their payment plan is very un-Starfleet but then making the deal and trying to kidnap one of the crew is hardly playing cricket on the part of the station.

Character – Archer’s assertion that they have answered enough distress calls in the past year and now it is time to call in some favours might not be the Starfleet way but to my mind makes very good sense. Archer and Reed have disagreed with the level of discipline that is expected on Enterprise in the past and here is a chance for him to throw that in the tactical officer’s face when he is the one that is flouting orders.

I never believed for one second that Travis was dead but the reactions of all the crew certainly made the deception worthwhile. Archer is angry, Phlox sorrowful that someone so young turn up on his autopsy table, Hoshi insists on saying goodbye even if it is just a charred corpse. It’s clear that this will quickly be dispelled but I appreciated the focus on their grief for a few minutes, primarily because Travis is such an incongruity to me still.

Performance - If there’s anyone I would trust to make a gobby complaint that lasts forever, it would be Trip. Montgomery is especially charming in these scenes like he has been waiting for an opportunity to show off some understated humour.

Production – Roxann Dawson’s handling of the camera to suggest the alien atmosphere on the station is exemplary. There are high and low angles, and lots of long shots to suggest the feeling of space and a lack of activity. It’s lovely to hear her voice as well a few years after Voyager went off air. I think the only aspect of the production that is lacking (and hence why I cannot give this episode full marks) is the predictable musical score. It sounds like any other Trek episode where one of latter, more spirited Enterprise scores would have benefited the production.

The final action sequence is very satisfying as a visual spectacle but also as an explosive end to a relationship that was apparently built on commerce but ends up with both parties breaking their word.

Best moment – We have never seen anything quite like this station before, in terms of its look or the help it can offer and it is hugely refreshing to experience that kind of novelty on Enterprise, a show that often sticks to a formula that has been tried and tested. Shots of the huge mechanical arms swinging into action to commit repairs are fresh and exciting. The lack of a human touch on the station, or a word from who built it leaves a strange taste in the mouth. Its very anonymity is what makes the technology so disquieting.

The pull back to reveal all the bodies suspended in the air at the heart of the station is a jaw dropping moment. It perfectly mixes awe with horror in a way that this show rarely aims for. I had no clue what was going on at this point, just that the crew had stumbled on something very disturbing. The fact that we wait until the last scene to find out what the station was using the bodies for means it is worth seeing this episode through for the answers and it is pretty grisly.

Just like an early X-File or an episode of The Twilight Zone, the final chilling scene sees the station repairing itself. It might take some time but it will eventually be back to spec and harvesting more unsuspecting victims.

I wish they hadn’t done that – When the station reconfigures to fit the Enterprise’s hull it is the literal interpretation of ‘will you come into my parlour, said the spider to the fly…’ I would have appreciated more caution, even if they are out of options.

A reason to watch this episode again – If you make a deal with the (technological) devil then you have to be very careful with what you are getting into. Ambitious, fresh and exciting, this is not at all what I expect from early Enterprise. Consequences, a huge mystery to unravel, a brilliant new location to explore and action that arises naturally out of the story. It ticks practically all of my boxes. The one thing that is lacking is any serious characterisation but because the execution is so strong I don’t think that really matters here (and there are still some character notes that ring very true here and there). Roxann Dawson deserves a lot of credit for how neatly this put together, each scene contributes to the overall picture but holds up in its own right. Dead Stop goes to show what Enterprise can do when it stretches itself to be original and uses its crew as a functioning unit. It’s a fantastic achievement and highly watchable.

****1/2 out of *****

Clue for tomorrow's episode: 

The Timeless Children written by Chris Chibnall and directed by Jamie Magnus Stone

Oh Brilliant: Oh yes, she is. Series 12 as a whole has afforded Whittaker the chance to sink her teeth into a diverse and rich vein of material and she has risen the challenge with relish. The 13th Doctor is one of my absolute favourite things about the twelfth season and how with each story she has been given the opportunity to play darker, more compelling material and rise up the ranks of my favourite Doctors. Now she is nestled near the top, alongside Troughton, Colin Baker and Tennant. Strangely the point in which she was truly cemented in my mind as the Doctor was when she faced down the Master in Spyfall, there’s something about when these two get together that brings out the best in the Doctor (and probably another reason why I don’t hold Matt Smith in such high esteem). Whittaker and Dhawan’s chemistry is palpable and thrilling and their final showdown in The Timeless Children is one of the best of this type. It’s charged because the Doctor is back in the horrible position of having to destroy Gallifrey and despite his bluster you can see the Master willing the Doctor on because he truly wants to die. You can feel the weight of their relationship in this exchange, of their shared past and of how their dance around the universe has led them to this point. Will she murder her friend? Destroy her planet? Commit Suicide? It’s hold your breath time as the Doctor makes her choice for what would be the final time. This is a story that sidelines the Doctor for much of its running time because she is locked up and force-fed explanations but unlike something like Last of the Time Lords that rendered him completely impotent, she gets to show off her range as her life is turned completely upside down. Whittaker has spent enough of this season reacting to shocks (the return of the Master, the Jo Martin Doctor, the destruction of Gallifrey) but the revelations here are very personal and so is her response. The moment when she decks the Master and screams at him to show her more really made me sit up and pay attention. The scene at the climax (whilst ripped directly from Resurrection of the Daleks and is similarly powerful) where she has to send her friends away and face the villain with a weapon that would destroy him is loaded with feeling (and Ludo was perfectly convinced that this Doctor was walking to her doom). Strangely enough my favourite moment of hers comes right at the very end when she walks into the TARDIS, the one absolute certainty in her life and leans on the console to take a minute. She’s been assaulted with shocks in this episode and for once she cannot find it in her to dash off to the next adventure. She needs time. The scene with Jo Martin’s Doctor is the most important one in the entire episode. Not only because it is so nice to see her back but because it highlights that whilst what we understand about the Doctor has changed, that ultimately it changes nothing. ‘Have you ever been limited by who you were before?’ That’s the series in a nutshell. Moving on, creating new stories, new characters. Acknowledging the past but looking to the future. The Timeless Children uses that as its crutch, and it is the most essential line. Yes, the show isn’t quite what you thought it was. Yes, there are more things to learn about its building blocks. But no, nothing has been taken away from those adventures you have enjoyed. At each point in the Doctor’s many lives that you have enjoyed, those adventures counted, they are relevant and they are there to savour. The past didn’t affect them at the time, and going forward it won’t affect the show now. Just enjoy what you are watching. The Doctor’s adventures. ‘People need the Doctor’, whoever that might be. Ultimately what Chibnall has done is put the Who back in Doctor Who. It worked for the first six years of the show when it was shrouded in mystery and it works now that we have learnt that there is much more to know about the Doctor’s past. He’s ticked a few boxes (explaining The Brain of Morbius, the Doctor’s ‘I am far more than just another Time Lord’), created a fascinating new Doctor (Jo Martin) and left some questions hanging about what the Doctor got up to pre-Hartnell. For those of you who loathe the fact that the Doctor has been mythologised this much and feel it has taken away from her as a hippy exile wandering around space…for one the show is called Doctor Who and so the mystery of this character has been flashed up on screen in every single episode and secondly that is precisely what she still is. All those lives she has lived as a space tramp bumbling through the universe are still there and relevant. I think we could do with a little time away from these revelations and some good old-fashioned adventuring (the ending of this story promises that) but there are some intriguing threads to pick up and I cannot wait. In the face of shattering revelations, Whittaker’s optimism still shines through. The Doctor takes what the Master has thrown at her and turns it into a positive direction for her life. Mysteries to unpick, a life to understand, a fresh identity to claim. On a dead Gallifrey, surrounded by Time Lords converted into Cybermen and in the wake of learning that her entire life has been a lie, the Doctor refuses to crumble. She spits in the eye of the Master’s attempts to crush her. It’s her finest moment to date. ‘You’ve given me the gift…of myself.’

O: Let me get this out of the way first because I don’t want to bore you with my salivating for the rest of this review. Sacha Dhawan is quite simply the most delicious looking man that the series has ever put on screen and I want to do unspeakable things to him every time I see him. It’s a problem that perhaps the most sadistic version of the Master is the one I fancy but I am coming to terms with that. Dhawan also happens to be a brilliant, dangerous actor who is willing to go to manic lengths to suggest the Master’s lunacy and pain are something that consumes him without every tipping over into pantomime. He plays the Master as damaged, brutal, playful and sexy. He’s magnetic and risky. I was a little terrified of him but also turned on and laughing at his madness. It’s a terrifically engaging mix and the best of this episode. Dhawan is the one who takes the most from this insane script and delivers some exceptional scenes. I enjoyed Simm’s Master very much and Missy was an awesome diversion from the norm as an anti-hero that the Doctor can work alongside but Dhawan’s Master is the purest version of evil we have seen since The Deadly Assassin. He’s as inspired by his own self hate as he is damaged by it. The few moments where the Doctor tries to get inside his head and stir up the rage and jealousy I actually felt sorry for him, despite his actions, because he is a victim of his own self-hate. He’s always hated the fact that Doctor acts like she is something special or different from the rest of their people and now to learn that she genuinely is special and that part of her uniqueness lives inside of him makes him detonate with anger and violence. It forces him to bring down the species that the Doctor (however unwillingly) helped to create. It’s a therapist’s wet dream. A man who hates everything his species is and so he annihilates them. He feels more unpredictable than ever because of the lengths he is going to. The moment when he growls for the Doctor to detonate the particle and destroy everything she has helped to inspire; he’s really asking her to kill him because of the battle that is raging inside of him. His mind has snapped, he’s ready for it to all end.

Graham, Ryan and Yaz: I’m pleased that the Fam didn’t leave in this episode because they are sidelines in favour of all the other developments and I’m at the stage now where I’m very fond of them and want them to exit in a story that gives them focus. Graham shares a gorgeous moment with Yaz early on that made me well up, and it’s a moment that is well deserved after two years of travelling together. I loved the plan to escape in Cyber-suits (Yaz really has come into her own now) and Ryan gets a very funny moment when he takes out a platoon of Cybermen with slam dunk only to miss the patrol that is coming over the hill. More importantly is their reaction to the Doctor wanting to commit suicide and take the Master with her. They beg with her and try convince her to find another way and its one of those moments where you can really feel the love between them all. For the Doctor, this is goodbye but she wants to make sure they all get home safe. As far as they are concerned this is the last time they will ever see her.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘I just need a moment.’

Many Lives: Regeneration is explained, not as a biological function of the Time Lords but as a stolen ability from another species from another dimension. I have never quite gotten my head around how any species could evolve with this natural ability to change into a different person when they die and so this works for me. The fact that the Doctor is patient zero is neither here nor there. It could have just as easily have been the Master. I’m sure along the line we will meet the species that the Doctor comes from and learn all about their regenerative powers although that is something I would prefer to be kept shrouded in mystery as it far better to leave these things in your imagination (think the Time War, which was much more exciting in my head than anything I saw in Day of the Doctor that reduced it to battle ships going pew pew pew). I have questions about a mother experimenting on her child in such a horrific fashion but then this is a mother from another species (and one that has proven themselves to be duplicitous and inhuman on countless occasions) and so perhaps I shouldn’t judge on our terms. Perhaps subjecting your offspring to torturous experiments is tenapenny in Time lord society. What I love about this explanation is that the Doctor now has countless lives (which throws all those people who are obsessed with continuity to number the Doctor’s into apoplexy) and we don’t have to worry about any of that keeping track nonsense ever again. It also comes as no surprise whatsoever that the Gallifreyans would take an ability from another species that would give them more power over the universe and graft it onto themselves. This is the same species that threw the Earth across the universe, manipulated the history of the Minyans and blew a whole in the universe in their petty feud with the Daleks. They are opportunistic wannabe Gods. I wonder what else from their society is begged, borrowed and stolen. Probably more than we think. The fact that they would package all those innovations into a race that goes by the name of Time Lords is perfect, it was exactly the sort of arrogance that Robert Holmes was trying to expose when he burst their bubble in The Deadly Assassin. The Doctor points out in Trial of a Time Lord that the Time Lords are the ultimate villains of the series. Weren’t you paying attention?

Brendan: That was genius. Having the Doctor’s history play out in the previous episode, beat for beat as it is explained by the Master in The Timeless Children, but without us knowing that was what was being shown to us, is perhaps Chibnall’s sneakiest and smartest writing to date. It elevates Ascension even more for me for it’s sheer underhandedness. There we were trying to figure out what the hell that sub plot was all about and Chibnall was literally telling us the Doctor’s origin story with a filter slapped over the top. Bravo.

Delete!: The Cyber Lords are so utterly ridiculous and camp it makes me deliriously happy that Doctor Who can still produce something this off the wall in 2020. The idea is chilling and in their own way the designs are beautiful but the whole idea is so utterly grandiose and overdone that I just wanted to laugh. It’s like Chibnall has taken a dose of mind-altering drugs and then sat down to write the ultimate Cyberman story. God bless the Master; this really does feel like one of his most lunatic schemes. Certainly, his most epic, after the destruction of half the universe in Logopolis (nothing could ever quite beat that). The idea that these monsters have dead Time Lords inside them is thoroughly sick and the fact that they are dressed up as though they are about to attend the Panopticon’s grand high cocktail party even moreso. Diodati saw the Cybermen stripped back to their original concept of pure body horror, men half finished and replaced with parts. This takes the idea to the other extreme, where we are talking about pure robotics. Both are equally valid approaches (although I prefer Diodati’s) but as the Master points out turning the Cybermen into pure robots lacks imagination. Cybermen who can regenerate are a terrific (if terribly wanky) concept. Overall the three episodes see the ultimate exploration of the Cybermen; the Ashad monstrosity, the CyberDrones, the call-backs to Earthshock and classic Cybermen and the CyberLords. It’s a very creative bunch when taken as whole. At times they were terrifying (Ashad holding the baby), at times they were dynamic (the marching Cybermen out for the Doctor’s companions), at times they were imaginative (the Drones might stifle a giggle but they are the most destructive the Cybermen are here) and times they are downright ridiculous (the Lords). The Cybermen are very silly and also very scary, so that just feels right to me. It might just be their most fulsomely realised appearances.

The Bad: The fact that Gallifrey is taken out by a bomb and a Dapol toy makes me howl with laughter. It’s more than it deserved after all the dull stories set there. Given his criticisms as a young man, Chibnall’s choice to use so many elements of Pip and Jane’s Trial of a Time Lord scripts almost feels like atonement. The Master, Gallifrey, the Matrix and a previously undiscovered incarnation of the Doctor. If he faces the same reaction from fans as he dished out in the 80s it might be what you call poetic justice. The Master and the Cybermen on Gallifrey reminds me of The Five Doctors. I don’t care how epic you make this….you can’t top ‘I have found the ones from the TARDIS’, ‘Ahhhh’, ‘take the patrol across’ and ‘isn’t that a little ruthless, even for you?’ It’s funny how much more overblown this feels compared to that.

Result: Doctor Who? Well you can’t say that you haven’t had the question raised over the past 57 years. The Timeless Children is mostly a series of explanations rather than an actual narrative, with a lunatic scheme of the Master’s thrown in, an epic use of the Cybermen and Gallifrey and an unfortunate cliché of a climax that sees a character who hasn’t registered stepping in, sacrificing himself and saving the day. The Doctor is neutered here to the point of learning everything but achieving nothing. On the other hand the explanations given are designed to make you sit up and pay attention (or make your head explode), the Master has never been in more electrifying hands than Dhawan, the companions have a number of gorgeous moments, the production is out of this world and the mysteries spin the series in a more enigmatic and optimistic direction that offers excitement and hope for the future. There is much more still to learn but I think, for now, we’ve been told enough to digest until Christmas. It’s an episode that is steeped in myth, pomp and visual insanity that it might take several re-watches to get your head around it. As an episode of television, it is lacking. As an experience of raw emotions and revelations, it is delicious. As an event in Doctor Who history it is unprecedented. It’s possibly the ultimate mind fuck. It’s the episode where the Cybermen resurrect dead Time Lords and take over Gallifrey and that is the least impressive shockwave. It’s the episode that teaches us that everything we know about the Doctor is a lie. It is the episode where the Master begs the Doctor to kill him and destroy their planet because of what he has learnt about their past. Chibnall has taken out all the toys; the Doctor, the Master, Gallifrey, regeneration, the Cybermen and assembled them in the most twisted way imaginable. Whether this works for you or not is personal, but anybody who accused him of lacking ambition in his first season needs to bow their head in shame. Be careful what you wish for. He has fundamentally marked the series from this point, pleasingly offered explanations for lots of questions that were thrown in the air this season, thrown up new mysteries to be solved and handed as developments to the mythos that is constantly being re-invented (the Time Lords in The War Games, a wealth of information that contradicts that in The Deadly Assassin, a huge gap in mythology with the introduction of the Time War, the utterly preposterous plonking of a new incarnation between Doctors 8 and 9). Forget Dicks, Holmes, RTD and Moffat, this is the most impactful and customising episode of Doctor Who and who on Earth suspected Chibnall was capable of that? He might have bitten off more than he can chew in trying to tie all the threads of the season together (he tries, but leaves a ton of stuff hanging) but I’m truly impressed with his ambition, energy and willingness to stir the pot to keep things interesting. The Timeless Children ends a terrific season on an unforgettable note. I was left scratching my head when it was over, but in a good way. There’s probably more madness to come from Chibnall but if it can be delivered with this much scope, risk and (perhaps most important of all because this was the thing that kept this very much on track) exceptional acting, sign me up. Pure unadulterated wank of the highest order but extremely well done for the most part and producing mystery at the heart of the series again: 8/10 (It was almost a 7 for the reasons stated at the beginning of the Result but those Doctor/Master scenes were just so damn good)

VOY – Collective

Plot – Whilst cliched, it looks like we are onto a winner with Collective since it starts with an attack by the Borg and a dream sequence that makes it look as though the crew of the Delta Flyer have been assimilated.

The Borg were a perennial element of TNG that made the show finally click into place and fire on all cylinders. It was the threat that the audience needed to really take the show seriously and to completely distinguish itself from TOS. The Best of Both Worlds is peak TNG, I think they were on a wind down after that two-parter because the show was never quite that bold or suspenseful ever again. Voyager took up the mantle of the Borg at around the same point (towards the end of season three) of their run and for once mimicking TNG made perfect sense because Voyager takes place in a region of space that we don’t know anything about. Why shouldn’t they Borg have their area of space here? It was a real chance to explore the species and make them a force to be reckoned with again (TNG threw away their menace with I,Borg and Descent). Unity looked to be doing just that but then Scorpion (again this is probably the zenith of Voyager in terms of quality television) introduced a species they were at war with and losing. Thus, diminishing their threat. Then we had a two-year long examination of a drone turning back into a human being. Showing how the Borg threat can be turned around with a little time and patience (and plenty of angst). And then the Borg children were introduced in this episode, which further watered down the effect of the species. Finally, we hit Unimatrix Zero, which took the assimilation element that made The Best of Both Worlds so frightening and turns it into a plot device that can be utilised and reversed without any apparent side effects. By the end of the show it is the Borg that essentially gives the ship the nudge home it needed to get back to the Alpha Quadrant (unwillingly, admittedly). I’m not saying that none of this was interesting – Seven’s journey is particularly noteworthy – but it does chart the deconstruction of the Borg and the fading of everything that made them scary in the first place. Come Endgame they are just robots with big ships that provide space battle eye candy. And that is a shame for a race that made Trek franchise sit up and pay attention in such an influential way. It took Enterprise (of all shows) to re-introduce that element of fear into the Borg by having them turn up between First Contact and Q Who? and feature the creatures stalking the ship when nobody has any clue what they are. With the audience in the know and the crew of Enterprise at a loss to what these evil SOBs want, they genuinely manage to make them a formidable force again.

Character – There’s a nice moment where Seven considers her own development since severing from the Hive Mind and what these children will have to go through. It’s the most thoughtful thing on offer here, but it is also the sort of material that has been explored ad nauseum in the past three seasons. The most promising thing to come from Collective is the idea of Seven exploring her maternal side, which is flirted with in the final scene.

Best moment – The Borg baby in the cubicle. Genuinely unsettling. There should have been more of that. The baby that Seven actually holds is clearly a doll. Watch as it wriggles up and down in the same pattern over and over. I might have kept it as the CGI version.

Worst moment – I can’t be the only person who first saw the Borg brood and immediately thought ‘oh no…’ What you have is one drone who behaves like a sullen teen from any adolescent drama, one drone who is the reasonable geek of the group (that’s the one we’re lumbered with) and three kids who like to sulk and cry a lot. Yes, this is compelling viewing.

I don’t understand the point of the scenes of Harry on the Borg ship that are trying their damndest to be sinister when they are rubbing shoulders with the teen angst drama that is taking place alongside. At one point one of the kids invades his investigation and starts playing cards as if to say why are you bothering to try and create any tension?

I wish they hadn’t done that – If there was ever an argument that Voyager was a watered-down version of the TNG then you only have to watch the first five minutes of Collective that begin with the regulars playing poker (a TNG staple) and the Borg appearing (ditto). How embarrassing that one TNG cliché prevented the guys from spotting another one sneaking up on them. This is the opportunity they have to get rid of the four most troublesome (in terms of characterisation and development) characters. Imagine if Chakotay, Paris, Harry Kim and Neelix were all assimilated and we were left with a show fronted by Janeway, Seven, the Doctor and Torres?

The climax is particularly gutless and painful to watch because it all comes down to a bunch of kids dressed up as Borg having a barney over the fact that one of them has taken charge of the others and they are all individuals capable of making their own choices. Is this really from the pen of the same man who gave us The Visitor and In the Pale Moonlight?

What the hell happened to the Borg baby? Brannon Braga has gone on record saying that it was returned to its people off screen and never mentioned because they wanted to focus on the dramatic potential of the older children. The dramatic possibilities with the baby are endless, so this is a craven explanation.

A reason to watch this episode again – Praise first, because the idea of bringing in new characters onto Voyager who have a real impact on the lives of the crew is a worthy one and one that should have been taking place throughout the shows entire run. Icheb and his brood stay with the ship for a while and Icheb himself is with the show until the end of the show, developing a relationship with both Seven and Janeway. That’s all good. And so is the opening ten minutes which features action, atmosphere and a sense of dread. Even the idea of the Borg children is a bold one, had they pushed down a more uncomfortable route than they ultimately do. What transpires is a teen drama, full of angst and implants, and the performances of the children in question are well, questionable. This isn’t And the Children Shall Lead, it isn’t even Innocence, but it is another in a developing line of children-based episodes that doesn’t work. Collective is more unsatisfying than all the others because it had more potential than the lot of them. If Ron Moore hadn’t jumped ship early in season six I swear he could have done something spectacular with this premise and with Brannon Braga still on the series at this point (he wrote Genesis, you know) I’m surprised that there wasn’t more body horror on show. Seasons four and five were uplifted by Jeri Ryan’s presence amongst the regulars and the tension between Seven and Janeway. That’s no longer the case, the episodes have to try harder to make an impact. Collective isn’t trying anywhere near hard enough.

*1/2 out of *****

Clue for tomorrow's episode:

DS9 – The Nagus

Plot – The Ferengi episodes. They are such an acquired taste and I think I might have developed a theory as to why they seem to be much more palatable in the UK than they are in the US. Don’t mistake me, I’m sure there are US fans who love them and UK fans who hate them but generally speaking I hear a lot of positive stuff about this sub-genre in this corner of the world and I think it is worth figuring out why. British comedy is a very unique thing, certainly the sitcoms of the 70s and 80s (which are some of the more famous comedies in the UK); they feature larger than life performances, they tend to stick to stereotypes and deconstruct them by having them written and played so broadly, they feature tons of repeated slogans and phrases and they push physical comedy and witty wordplay to the fore. Sound familiar? The Ferengi comedy episodes are very mid-70s Brit-coms and I think they work for the same reason. They are focussed and intelligent, and sometimes they are embarrassing farces. The performances are so far over the top you either have to go with them or fight them. Usually in every Ferengi episode there is a straight man that the comedy derives from and that is often Quark, played brilliantly by Armin Shimmerman. He often holds them together (as he does here) with his perfectly judged performance. What’s fascinating is when the Ferengi episodes try and tackle something serious (Bar Association, Body Parts and Business As Usual tackle unions, suicide and mass murder respectively) with all the surrounding comedy, it makes the whole thing a much more discomforting experience. The Nagus is the first experimental step in this whole sub-genre and it brings an incredible amount of wit and humour (‘And the Andorian says…I thought it was your wife…’) to DS9 that was a little lacking in its first year. It stands out because it lets its hair down and it does so without falling flat on its face (move over Move Along Home).

The Nagus is one of those unique episodes of Star Trek (less so with DS9) that doesn’t give a damn about the politics of Starfleet and instead focuses squarely on an alien society and how they look at things. I find them very refreshing. To some this might not be at all what they watch Star Trek for, basking in the madness of a profit hungry race but as an alternative to the usual technobabble and red tape it is a luxurious ride. The scene where Rom is berated for sending his son to a human school run by a female whilst they are all ripping the heads off beetles for dinner is delightful – this is a society that is so different from our own with its own unique set of values. To a race of people who pride profit over all can you imagine a more lustful prospect than another quadrant of space rich with worlds to exploit? The only opportunity that rivals this is potentially conquering the market in the alternative universe, which the Nagus attempts to do in the final season of this show. The idea of people of important stature dying and being vacuum desiccated and sold as a prize collectable makes perfect sense to a society that priorities money. What use is a corpse in the ground? The idea is probably repugnant to them.

As early as series one, episode 10 we get our first mention of the Bajoran fire caves. Let it be noted because later down the line those caves become a very important feature of this show.

Character – One of the enduring friendships (amongst many) on this show is the unlikely pairing of a human (Jake) and a Ferengi (Nog). What’s wonderful about these early episodes is how well established that friendship becomes and how much it pays off later (in episodes like The Visitor, In the Cards, Valiant and It’s Only a Paper Moon). At this point Nog, who will later become the first Ferengi in Starfleet, cannot even read and Jake helps him to overcome that difficulty in a beautifully judged subplot. Watch the moment when they spot a Vulcan woman in a tight fitted catsuit walk the Promenade – they are transfixed as any boy reaching puberty would be. The only thing I ever saw Wesley Crusher get a hard on for was a warp coil.

At this stage Rom is still trying to behave like a normal Ferengi and is a bit of a bastard at times. Obviously, the writers haven’t decided to make him a real nice guy yet but that actually works in his favour because we learn over time that no matter how hard he tries he really isn’t an effective Ferengi, despite the fact that he tries so hard. Just before escorting him to his intended death, Rom asks Quark about the bar again and Quark pretty much signs his own death warrant by suggesting that he deserves so much and Rom deserves so little. The irony being he only had to display a moment of kindness and generosity here to prevent what is about to happen. The delight in this attempt on his life is that Quark isn’t angry at all, he promotes Rom to reward him for such brilliant deviousness.

Performance – Wallace Shawn gives one of the most distinctive performances of all time as The Grand Nagus. Effectively a character that has skipped straight out of The Simpsons, he is big, bold and broad. With a crazy infectious laugh, a squeaky voice and a penchant for booze, women and profit, the Nagus sticks with the show until the penultimate episode and provides some unforgettable laughs along the way. His ‘death’ scene has to be seen to believed.

This is the quiet, understated Sisko of season one. You know the one who doesn’t have the fate of the entire Alpha Quadrant on his shoulders. Avery Brooks gets to play up to the strengths of his early characterisation here; the family man navigating single parenthood with a son who knows his own mind.

Production – The make up for the Nagus is so outrageously overdone you can only admire the audacity of it. A wizened Ferengi with crazy ear hair sprouting out, he’s such a caricature of an old man that I howl every time he appears.

It’s another one of those rare Doctor Who/Star Trek crossovers. The music for this episode was scored by John Debney, who also provided the soundtrack for the Doctor Who TV Movie. Both scores are very effective and quite unusual for their respective shows. I particularly like the music at the climax here where Quark is being led to his death, it has a heavy piano influence that is very unusual in Star Trek.

Best moment – It’s one of the rarest kinds of twists in a Star Trek episode – the comic surprise. The Nagus is alive and this has all been a test for his son, rather than an opportunity for Quark. Again, if you have been paying attention to the culture this makes perfect sense of everything that has played out and the Nagus’ reveal proves to be a brilliant moment. ‘It’s like talking to a Klingon!’

I wish they hadn’t done that – I don’t know if I should applaud this episode for making such an obvious homage to The Godfather in the scene where Quark is handing out profitable assignments or not.

A reason to watch this episode again – The first venture into Ferengi culture on DS9 is an enormous success and was enough to convince the producers that this sub-genre of episodes was worth pursuing. Armin Shimmerman is such a positive presence on the show that he deserved this vehicle and with plenty of laughs and debauchery thrown in this is unlike anything we have seen in Trek before this. DS9 always did like to shine a light on the darker corners of life in the future and how ironic that the first out and out comedy episode should be the one to feature financial exploitation, masturbatory holodeck programmes, alcoholism, assassination attempts and fratricide. It’s a sleazy place at times, DS9, and that’s usually down to Quark.

****1/2 out of *****

Clue for tomorrow's episode: 

The Thirteenth Doctor

The Woman Who Fell to Earth - 8/10
The Ghost Monument - 6/10 
Rosa - 9/10
Arachnids in the UK - 6/10
The Tsuranga Conundrum - 7/10
Demons of the Punjab - 9/10
Kerblam! - 8/10
The Witchfinders - 8/10
It Takes You Away - 9/10
The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos - 6/10
Resolution - 9/10
Spyfall Part One - 9/10
Spyfall Part Two - 9/10
Orphan 55 - 7/10
Nikolai Tesla's Night  of Terror - 8/10
Fugitive of the Judoon - 10/10
Praxeus - 8/10
Can You Hear Me? - 9/10 
The Haunting of Villa Diodati - 10/10
Ascension of the Cybermen - 8/10