Terror of the Sontarans written by John Dorney & Dan Starkey and directed by Ken Bentley

What's it about: Once it was a mining facility. Then later its corridors rang with screams generated by grotesque military experiments. However when the Doctor and Mel arrive on a hostile alien world after detecting a distress signal, the base they find themselves in is almost deserted. But not for long. Soon the Doctor's old enemies, the Sontarans, have landed, and are searching for the remnants of their previous research team. Before long they uncover evidence of strange occurrences on the planet. Of madness and death. They are warriors bred for war, strong of spirit and unafraid of death. To fear the enemy is an act of betrayal. Nothing holds terror for the Sontarans.

The Real McCoy: I've always said that McCoy seems at his most comfortable during the light entertainment period of season 24, being much more of a showman than an actor. This trilogy has given that argument some weight as torn free of the continuity and burdens of the Hex arc, McCoy is turning out one energetic, enjoyable performance after another. It does us good to remember that the seventh Doctor wasn't just the cosmic manipulator, juggling the fate of a thousand worlds but also something of a jolly showman who too great joy in adventuring the universe in his first year on the job. It's the seventh Doctor I prefer if I'm honest. When has he ever been cautious, even when answering a distress beacon? The Doctor hypothesises that if they had time to launch a distress beacon then they can't have been in that much distress at the time. I'm not sure if the Doctor wants to head into potential danger because he genuinely wants to see if their are people that need help or simply because he loves something of a mystery. Probably a little of both. When Mel suggests that people in cells are usually dangerous the Doctor chips in that he has been in cells throughout all of his lives and he is little more than a puppy dog. Does he play the clown to lull you into a false sense of security? Despite having spent a great deal of his life bringing down men with dreams of avarice, the Doctor will never understand them. He never thought he would compliment a Sontaran on the nature of aesthetics. There's a lot in the Doctor's head that a psychic creature would not want to see. Is this the first suggestion of the darker Doctor to come?

Computer Programmer: Mel is not combat trained, she has only had a few self defence classes in the village hall. She's brave enough to stand up to Sontarans even when it is clear they could do her great harm.

Sparkling Dialogue: 'Present arms. Present legs.'

Great Ideas: IMC often springs up in future based Doctor Who stories, a mining conglomerate that is set upon mining the wealth out of every civilised world to line their pockets with credits. Naked fear in the face of adversity, entreaties for help and clemency...what could possibly cause a Sontaran to act in such a way? The idea that there is a greater menace than the Sontarans at the mining facility and that they have to work together with the humans is a novel one, I suppose. I love the assertion that the Sontarans use over elaborate vocabulary to make their points because that was certainly a gift that Robert Holmes instilled in them. They are obsessed with the hollow myth of their own superiority and their lives have little meaning beyond empty parade ground bombast. Psychic creatures feeding on everything around them like a newborn, learning about it's surroundings. The gemstones are part of a larger organism, using the people here to carry them from the mineral seams below into the atmosphere above. Like corral polyps and the dust cloud pollinates them. Whilst the summation of how these creatures came to be makes sense of all the elements of the plot (the power cuts, the dust, the statues), the culmination of a species that leeches on emotions is hardly a thrilling (or original) prospect. It works insofar as it dovetails all the plot points together but it never threatens to raise an eyebrow of interest.

Musical Cues: Quite minimalist, I thought. Sometimes Big Finish stories are wallpapered with music and it smothers. Sometimes they get it just right, creating a unique atmosphere and pace. And sometimes the story is too quiet for it's own good and the dialogue dribbles on interminably. This is definitely a case of the latter. A more dominant musical score might have pushed things along a little. It wouldn't revolutionise the story but the nearest comparison I can think of is something like The Stones of Venice. That was a similarly verbose tale (albeit with much crisper, frutier dialogue) but it was supported by a stunning musical score that enhanced the dialogue and made it bloom like a beautiful flower. The near silence that accompanies the wealth of words in Terror of the Sontarans flattens the atmosphere even further.

Isn't it Odd: The first episode is nothing special and if I'm honest I expect something a little more attention grabbing from John Dorney given his past form. Whilst I was perfectly prepared for this story to develop into something a bit more substantial there was no real attempt to pull off another 'the Doctor answers a distress call' which is one of the most obvious ways of kick starting a Doctor Who plot. Despite the presence of IMC, a mining facility isn't the most inspiring of settings either. I got the impression that the frightened Sontarans and growling nasties in the darkness were supposed to send chills down the spine but neither worked out of context. I always say that a story should grab you from the off to prevent fatigue from setting in. Most Doctor Who stories ace their introductory instalment and run out of steam as they progress. Terror of the Sontarans reverses that trend. A common complaint that I have had about Big Finish audios is how they use old monsters as a marketing ploy (an absolutely sensible approach) and yet still try and plot their appearance as a surprise within in the story itself. There is no mention of the word Sontaran throughout the first episode and so their appearance at the climax is clearly supposed to be a surprise...to anybody but those who have read the title (more than likely) or looked at the cover (again there is a damn good chance). I also question how effective the Sontarans can be on audio as they were originally devised - a clone army of thugs. Audio tosses aside visuals and so the most memorable hook of the species (their stature and hideous masks) cannot be factored in and so to make them more memorable than stock military heavies you have to deviate from the norm to make them stand out. But if with every appearance you have to stray from the original concept of the race...doesn't that mean you might as well use a different species anyway? I've lost track of how many Big Finish stories have featured the line 'it's inside my miiiiiiiind!' A silicon based (groan) psychic (groan) life form. Hardly a novel idea in Doctor Who. Halfway through the third episode and I was still a little unsure what this story was all about aside from an awful lot of waffle about the Sontarans. The plot kept being halted by lengthy dialogue scenes about what it means to be a Sontaran, which isn't as thrilling as it sounds. With an ending that is practically blink and you'll miss it after four episodes of posturing without atmosphere there is a general feeling of 'is that it?' at the climax.

Result: Middling without ever being inspiring, Terror of the Sontarans continues the current popular trend to turn the Sontarans into something rather more gentle than we are accustomed to in classic Who. Your reaction to this story might depend on what your opinion is about that development. I'm on the fence. Whilst I enjoy Strax in small doses on the TV, he's little more than a one trick pony and I'm starting to get scared that that is how the Sontarans will be remembered, as comedy buffoons rather than an impressive military force. The last time I felt that the race was treated as a serious threat was Sarah Jane's reaction to Kaarg's presence in The Last Sontaran. Even Big Finish have jumped on the bandwagon with comedy Sontarans propping up stories like Heroes of Sontar. Terror of the Sontarans wants to paint them as individuals rather than a clone race and give them personalities, something that would be a laudable goal with any other species but this essentially continues the redefinition of the species. What I was hoping for with this story was for them to claim their title as warrior badasses and to get on with some mass slaughter to show that they can still mean business. Instead what we get are a number of uninspiring dialogue scenes that attempt to define what a Sontaran is whilst displaying examples to the contrary. Whilst the trilogy format can still be used effectively, I'm starting to wonder if shaking up the schedules might not be the way forward with the main range. After the initial excitement of the return of the seventh Doctor and Mel in standalone stories in We Are the Daleks the rest of this trilogy has suffered in comparison. What generally happens is that there is an initial buzz of excitement as we switch regulars in a new trilogy and then unless something out of the ordinary is done with them it is same old, same old for the next two months. McCoy and Langford have done solid work in all three adventures it has hardly seen the most inspiring use of either of their characters. Imagine if each month we were treated to a shake up. Given that these are stories unencumbered by an arc there is no reason at all that they couldn't be spread out amongst the year. One concession though (and I think I have mentioned it in each release) is that McCoy seems far more at home in his debut season than he has been for some time, revelling in the mad professor rather than playing the master manipulator. It is nice to hear some other actors get the chance to play Sontarans but this feels like an indulgent exercise for Dan Starkey to play an array of new Sontaran characters. He's superb, but I don't think we really needed a four episode story to indulge that kind of whim. Terror of the Sontarans is a clichéd story that contains some interesting characters. Rather than a return to form for the race, it confirms that they have mutated into something quite different from what Robert Holmes originally envisioned. But with a story that is two episodes too long featuring a lifeless setting, plot and resolution it's hardly the best vehicle to do so: 5/10

The Twelfth Doctor

Deep Breath - 5/10
Into the Dalek - 6/10
Robot of Sherwood - 5/10
Listen - 8/10
Time Heist - 7/10
The Caretaker - 5/10
Kill the Moon - 8/10
Mummy on the Orient Express - 8/10
Flatline - 9/10
In the Forest of the Night - 4/10
Dark Water  - 8/10
Death in Heaven - 6/10
Last Christmas - 9/10 
The Magician's Apprentice - 7/10
The Witches Familiar - 9/10
Under the Lake - 7/10
Before the Flood - 5/10
The Girl Who Died - 8/10
The Woman Who Lived - 3/10
The Zygon Invasion - 6/10 
The Zygon Inversion - 8/10
Sleep No More - 2/10
Face the Raven - 8/10
Heaven Sent - 10/10
Hell Bent - 3/10
The Husbands of River Song - 7/10
The Return of Doctor Mysterio - 7/10
The Pilot - 7/10
Smile - 3/10
Thin Ice - 8/10
Knock Knock - 6/10
Oxygen - 10/10
Extremis - 9/10
The Pyramid at the End of the World - 5/10The Lie of the Land - 4/10
The Empress of Mars - 7/10
The Eaters of Light - 4/10
The World Enough and Time - 10/10
The Doctor Falls - 9/10
Twice Upon a Time - 7/10

Last Christmas written by Steven Moffat and directed by Paul Wilmshurst

This story in a nutshell: It's all a terrible dream...

Indefinable: 'I'm the Doctor, not your mam!' I've heard the rumours that Capaldi is going to be softened slightly in his second year (I can't count how many times people have said to me that they don't like his Doctor because he is too frosty/unlikable/moody/like my Grumpa) and whilst I found his grouchy approach extremely refreshing in series eight (after the 'I've just downed twelve packets of Skittles and look I'm a crazy naked all singing all dancing Caretaker with wavy hands and a sonic screwdriver hanging out of my butt' 11th Doctor) it might be the right thing for the series. It is the same approach that Colin Baker wanted to take with the sixth Doctor, initially impossible to like but peeling away layers like an onion with each adventure so you can see what is at his core. A good man and a good Doctor. Capaldi practically glowered his way through the last season with some brilliantly acerbic lines but there was so little joy in his performance at times you had to start asking where the Doctor's zest for life had gone. So the whole idea of partnering up the grumpiest Doctor with Santa Claus isn't quite as mad as it might have seemed at first because they bring things out in each other that are quite surprising. Under the paranoid gaze of the Doctor Father Christmas becomes a potentially sinister and manipulative character (not a sentence I thought I would have to write) and after being saved by to the jolliest man on the planet the Doctor cannot help but take the reins of his Sleigh and whoop with delight as he experiences something delightful that he cannot resist. It might be insane but it is a character defining moment and I was whooping along with him - suddenly he is a man with a lust for the finer things in life again. It comes as no surprise to me that by the end of this story he is grasping the hand of his best friend and dancing his way to his next adventure. It is a long time coming, and whilst I still want to see those moments of darkness from Capaldi, it shows that he is going to be much more than just a one trick grumpy chops. The Doctor is greeted with a scream and described as a 'skeleton man' as though he is the product of somebody's nightmare. Just about sums him up. This Doctor is a natural cynic so he can cut through the nature of a false reality like a pair of rusty scissors, he has a naturally suspicious brain and it is keenly adept at solving mysteries within mysteries like this one. His trouble is trying to boil it down to a simple enough level so that the people around him can understand, hence the first word at the top of the page in the book. There's a delightful moment when the nature of the dream is revealed when Santa suggests that a time travelling alien is all part of the landscape of the lie...after all how can something as absurd as that be true? As soon as he walks away from a scenario, this Doctor deletes all the useless information from his brain including the people he has mucked in with. To tell them that is ice cold.

Impossible Girl: Something astonishing happened whilst I was watching Last Christmas. I'm sure it cannot have escaped your attention that I haven't been Clara's biggest fan despite the terrific efforts of Jenna Coleman. It's not just that the character had to be completely rebooted in series eight after her disgraceful mishandling in the latter half of series seven (the 'impossible girl' arc being the worst since the show started sporting running storylines) or that Moffat seems to favour the character more than the shows titular character (to the point where her name comes first in the titles and she gets to play Doctor whilst he's relegated to the TARDIS, Nyssa style)...no my biggest problem is that the character seems to transform with each new writer into somebody quite different with different values and motives (check out her opposing views in Kill the Moon and In the Forest of the Night). However...and it's a big however I feel as though we have been on a development period with Clara and she is now ready to take her place as a fully fledged companion at the Doctor's side. Danny has been wiped out and this story serves as an effective coda to their relationship and so with any luck all of this hopping back to Earth can be forgotten. My biggest surprise (of many) in Last Christmas was that I am genuinely excited to see that Clara is back for another season and that I am looking forward to seeing what come next for these two. Capaldi and Coleman have developed a great rapport and this could be one of those golden years for the series (like Tom and Liz or Tennant and Tate) where the relationship between the Doctor and companion transcends the stories and becomes something unique and special in its own right. We'll have to wait and see. But let's strike that as a massive win for Moffat - when The Caretaker aired I couldn't wait to see the back of the character so that is a huge turnaround for me.

It's impossible (hoho) to imagine Clara turning up on Santa's naughty list at any point because she is such a four square kind of girl. Of course she never grew out of fairytales, it is her belief that the Doctor is pure magic that kept her going throughout the more trying moments of the last season. Clara never thought she would step back in the TARDIS again and she realises just how much she loves that silly ship. How like this Doctor to use something like Clara's love for Danny Pink against her when she needs to be distracted to prevent the face huggers from attacking. Clara faces the pain of that moment head on because she was the one who lied about his fate. It is a little ironic that Clara should make elfist remarks, given her stature. I loved loved loved the scene where Clara was menaced by the Dream Crab - finally she is genuinely, shit-your-pants afraid and has no one liners and attitude to rescue her. I felt more for her here than I did for her plight at the end of Death in Heaven. It's important to remember that Moffat is invested in the Clara/Danny romance even if I am not so of course Clara chooses the warmth of her Christmas day miracle with him than being stuck on a cold, terrorized base with the Doctor.

Sparkling Dialogue: 'I will mark you Santa.'

'There's a horror movie called Alien? That's really offensive. No wonder everyone keeps invading you.'

'Every Christmas is Last Christmas.'

'Have you ever woken up from a dream and realised that you are still dreaming?'

The Good:

* I love the fact that Moffat is willing to let you think that Doctor Who has gone insane in the first couple of minutes of Last Christmas with Santa visiting Clara and having a domestic with his elves. I was sure this was going to turn out to be a dream at the time (the music and the way the scene is framed makes it appear so) until the Doctor arrived and I thought 'oh shit, this is real.' The fact that Moffat leaves until much, much later to reveal how much he has hoodwinked the audience and that this episode was a lie from the off knocked me out.

* More fool me. I thought I was going to spend most of the Christmas special resisting Nick Frost's Santa Claus because the whole notion of his existing in the Doctor Who universe as an actual person caused my brain to short-circuit. Instead Moffat has found an extremely clever way for him to take part in a story without throwing all sense of logic and good taste out the window. And isn't Nick Frost superb? Like bold as brass, in your face superb. Barry Letts always said that no matter what they were presenting the audience with during the Pertwee era they always insisted that it was played for real and Frost takes that approach to the nth degree - there is no sense that he is playing a mythological character but a living, breathing person who genuinely has to wrap up this adventure as soon as possible because he has a wealth of presents to deliver before morning. The moment when he makes his entrance with an army of toys leading the way might just be the most jarring shift in tone from one scene to another in any Doctor Who story (it comes immediately after our heroes are attacked by the face huggers) and it tells you everything you about the confidence of this storyteller that he leaps from The Thing from Another World to Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium with such unapologetic brazenness. It probably got the hardened fanboys in a tizzy too, so much the better. The moral of the story (and the whole reason for including Santa) is a doozy, believe in magic one last time. Why would you ever stop?

* An isolated base in the Artic under siege. It's a setting so clichéd that by the end of the episode Moffat has the nerve to reel off his influences. But it is also the sort of location that a Doctor Who story thrives upon, especially when it is designed and lit this well and the menace that threatens it's characters is as tangibly frightening as the face huggers are. I love how Moffat exposes the emptiness of these kind of stories, this is a base under siege story because that is what the characters expect a Doctor Who story to be. Is it the Doctor's influence that is the strongest and is this the environment that makes him feel most comfortable, fighting against a foe in close quarters? It boils down the essentials of a Doctor Who to it's most basic form; an enclosed setting, scared characters and a monster. As we realise what is happening it is clear there is no substance beyond that, that the whole point of the story is that it is a glossy front to the terrifying brain devouring that is really going on. And yet it still works. Beautifully directed, genuinely scary with some enjoyable characters, those essentials of Doctor Who work even when they aren't supported by foundations. Can you imagine a more Doctor Who like scenario than the Doctor and his companion dashing out into the snow for the TARDIS being pursued by nasty monsters and at the last second monsters emerging from the TARDIS and barring their escape. Topping that even further, those monsters turn out to be them.

* What do we learn about the face huggers? Not a great deal but who cares when they are as icky and as mind-bendingly fascinating as this. Disgusting, crabby, gooey nasties that spring from the ceiling and envelop your face and feed on your desires and fuck with your reality so they have time to devour your brain. What more do you need to know? It's not an original idea but the concept of creatures that have weaponised dreams against their victims is terrorizing. 

* Proof, if it was needed, that guest actors can bring a huge amount of personality to the screen even when they are handed empty characters. That's not a criticism, they are supposed to be silhouettes of real people and yet to me they had more substance to them than a whole list of supposedly 'real' characters that have appeared in the Moffat era. It comes down to a committed cast, some delicious twists about the nature of reality the truth of who these people really are when they wake up. Colour me impressed - a Moffat era story with a dramatis personae that impressed me. I thought we were past all that. Faye Marsay was particularly impressive as Shona, the sort of character that usually gets right on my tits for undercutting the tension of a scene but instead of that she uses her enormous personality and ability to bring a sense of normality to the situation to her advantage. I really fancied that reunion at the climax and I felt she would have brought a great deal of charm and humour to the TARDIS had she gotten her way to hop on board. The little character reveals at the conclusion are bittersweet (the wheelchair) and heart-warming (forgive Dave). It's the sort of little moments that Davies was so good at.

* My favourite type of film is a really good psychological thriller that gets under your skin and twists and turns in intense ways. Inception, Identity, Shutter Island. As such my favourite part of an extremely good episode was the sequence that featured my favourite (note the sarcasm) character, Danny Pink. It took for Clara to suffer horribly within a perfect dream of their existence together to feel something for this relationship. It's a trippy and surreal set piece that sees Clara running away from reality to get comfortable in this snapshot of perfection with Danny only for the Doctor to slap her out of it by reminding that by staying she will be killed. Heart-warming, playful and genuinely frightening, especially the moment when Clara is confronted with walls of blackboards exclaiming the word DYING. Also very worthy of note is the moment Moffat draws the curtain back and reveals who the victims of the face huggers have been all along - the same character the Doctor and Clara have been sharing this adventure with.

* Clara as an old woman works beautifully because it feels like one twist too many in a story that has already allowed Moffat to be clever clever over and over again. Despite the warmth that exudes between her and the Doctor, it feels like Moffat is boxing himself in a corner with this scene because he will have to worked around it in order to write Clara out (of course this was originally supposed to be her last story and it would have worked much better in that context). So when this turns out to be one last face hugger dream I was clapping with delight. Moffat acknowledges that this is a step too far. Hurrah, he's become his own critic.

The Bad: I will knock a point off because the episode doesn't go into much depth about the nature of dreams themselves, it simply uses them as a method to plot out this labyrinthine story. Whilst I'm not looking for dream analysis (because there is little that is more tedious than listening to somebody spell out their entire dream in painstaking detail) I was hoping to get a little more insight into the essentials of dreaming itself, maybe even get a unique Doctor Who spin on why people dream (why not, the show has offered up explanations for plenty of other things we take for granted). As the Doctor spells out, dreams are the weapon of choice of the face huggers and that's pretty much all there is to it. Wouldn't it have been wonderful if Santa's sleigh danced around the TARDIS in the last scene as the Doctor and Clara depart to make you question if the whole next season is reality. Realistically Moffat could do absolutely anything with the series now and pull off a JR in the shower/Crossroads hotel 'it was all a dream!' - as unsatisfying as that would be.

Result: 'Do you know what the biggest problem between telling fantasy and reality apart? They're both ridiculous...' Last Christmas tosses originality in a trash and for once it is a good thing. The dream within a dream plot is something that every science fiction show has to have a pop at at some point but it usually works within its rigid formula. Star Trek, Buffy, The X-Files...nobody is exempt from trying this kind of episode out. But Doctor Who nails it by making it as funny, scary and quirky as possible. Moffat subverts all the clichés by refusing to acknowledge at any point that what we are seeing is the truth once the cat is out of the bag. He plays the same trick over and over and over until I was giddy and wondering if we will ever see reality again. Even when the Doctor and Clara hop off in the TARDIS at the end of the episode I was still waiting for one more twist that this happy ending wasn't authentic. That's how much he made me doubt what was fiction and what was true. I especially love the knockout twist that the entire 'base under siege' scenario is a massive con, so much so that what happens during this episode marks it as one of the least relevant in the shows history because everything that we experience is a lie. Escaping that lie is the entire point of the story. Don't mistake my words though, on a character level this is one of the most relevant stories in the whole of the Moffat era. It gives the Doctor and Clara a chance to reveal their deceptions from the end of Death in Heaven and part company in an honest fashion where they acknowledge exactly what they think of each other. Moffat's final twist is that they don't wish to part company at all and as they dash into the TARDIS in an excitable fashion I felt as though I was being catapulted into series nine with boundless enthusiasm. I had a huge smile on my face. I have given up try to guess what Moffat will deliver at Christmas. Will it be something as visually stunning and as morally corrupt as A Christmas Carol? Or a gorgeous fairytale like The Snowmen? Or something so boring that I never found the enthusiasm to revisit it like The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe? Or something that re-defines how not to end an era like Time of the Doctor? Last Christmas is his best Christmas special yet, one which confidently springs from set piece to set piece, which surprises and innovates as it progresses and contains much amusement and moments of terror within. Fantastic guest cast too. It's all wrapped up in polished direction too. I absolutely love it: 9/10

The Vault of Secrets written by Phil Ford and directed by Joss Agnew

This story in a nutshell: Androvax, the Destroyer of Worlds, has returned to plagued but he has some sinister customers on his tail...

Until Next Time...Miss Smith: Now Luke is off at university she has to get her kicks damaging Mars Rovers...or at least the ones that are heading into trouble. Sarah Jane makes a very mature decision to help Androvax find and free the remaining hundred of his fellow citizens, regardless of what her feelings towards him are. Sarah's little gag before sabotaging Mr Dread's car is a scream. Sladen had the knack for making me smile with her line delivery right up to the end. She underplays her possession this time round, having another (and much more successful) crack at playing Androvax.

Sarah's Gang: I may have mentioned in the past how much I am in love with Clyde and Rani (and you can shove Luke into the mix, the shows most impressive achievement - the boy genius that you don't want to grind into powder). Season four was the year that the writers decided to stop playing about with their oblique romance and start to drop some serious hints that this was leading somewhere (all within the very safe, sex-free environment of SJA of course...had this been Torchwood that would have been shagging each others brains out on the attic floor as soon as Sarah Jane was out of the house). There's a gorgeous moment in The Vault of Secrets where they find themselves holding hands in a moment of stress and then awkwardly realise how close they suddenly are. These little moments are peppered throughout the season and would continue to flourish until the series end. Had season five continued as planned, there would have been an astonishing tale that would see them (through insane science fiction means) live an entire life together and have a child. It would have been gorgeous to see them consummate their relationship. The Thirteenth Floor (for that would have been its title) was ultimately made on Wizards vs. Aliens because it was far too good a story to waste and turned out to be the highlight of the first two seasons of that show. On that show it shows a burgeoning romance between Tom Clarke and the lead villainess and did manage to tug successfully at the heartstrings when they had to leave the never realm and undo their relationship and sacrifice their child. Imagine if this had played out with Clyde and Rani with all the shared history they have on SJA? It would have been properly devastating. It shows the willingness of the writers on this show (and along with The Curse of Clyde Langer, it was also written by Phil Ford and shows how he was emerging as an accomplished writer on the show) to take risks with their characters and it would have been a phenomenal chance for Anthony and Mohindra to show what they are capable of. I love the fact that Clyde, whilst still remaining very calm, is always willing to show that he is afraid Not many young male protagonists would be willing to show their anxieties. 

The Parents: How can you fee anything but pity for poor Haresh who is dragged along to every astrological show, nanotech institute and social group for alien encounters by his clinically insane (but technically often right) wife? It is good that we get to see the gentle domestic moments where their love for each other shines through because otherwise you would have to wonder we he suffers these humiliations. And it is true that you sometimes have to suffer embarrassments in order to support your loved ones. Gita shoving a wrench in Haresh's hand and locking herself in the car whilst encouraging him to be a man and tackle Androvax made me chuckle. It reminds me of my husbands night time nerves when we heard somebody trying to fit their key in our door in the middle of the night once...and he handed me the glass lamp and shoved me out into the hall to admonish them! It surprises me that Mina Anwar is the most successful at getting across Androvax's desperation to save his people. Not because I think she is a terrible actress (I have seen her in a fair few things now and she is always at least competent) but because she jettisons all the pantomime that makes up Gita and goes for broke, offering a tired, sweaty and dangerous criminal. I would have welcomed Gita holding on to her knowledge of aliens but I understand why they chose not to go down that route. Twice now she has been exposed to aliens (well, the same alien) and it seems a little unfair for her to be kept constantly in the dark. However with her plans to expose everything that she knows to the press it is understandable that Sarah Jane makes the request she does of Mr Dread to wipe her memory.

Sparkling Dialogue: 'My name is Gita Chandra and I've seen aliens!' and 'We at BURPSS believe you should let it all out...' - oh come on, doesn't this collection of nomads with alien encounters meeting like a gaggle of AA members raise even the tiniest smile?

'I am not programmed for comedy.'

The Good: Another story that hits the ground running...and continues running...and continues running. The general sense of momentum and pace in the Sarah Jane Adventures often captures the glory of classic Who with it's infamous corridor dashing far more than the new series does. Mysterious black suited figures walking in a clipped fashion out of stasis, remove their hands and replace them with a high tech laser to deal with an intruder on the premises...this show always manages to capture my interest very quickly. How could children fail to love this? The woman they are pursuing turns out to Androvax the Destroyer of Worlds in disguise, which is a twist that I always forget every time I watch this story. He's a character with a great deal of potential that was only touched upon in Prisoner of the Judoon and the performance by Mark Goldthorp was the highlight of what I consider to be the weakest of all the Sarah Jane Adventures (but still above average for the record). He's given a much better vehicle this time and afforded a chance to show the many sides of his character, he's not just a one dimensional genocidal maniac but a desperate man who is trying to make amends for the wrongs that were done to his people. Allusions are made to Pyramids of Mars in the very next scenes as Sarah (with the help of Mr Smith) stops a Mars Rover from making it over the crest of a hill and spying a Pyramid in the distance. A Pyramid that she visited once when she was travelling with the fourth Doctor. In a handful of scenes this story has managed to add to the mythology of this series (the return of an old foe suggests a stable list of recurring characters) and Doctor Who, offering a peek into Sarah's old life which fans can go ahead and view on the season four DVD which included Pyramids of Mars as a tribute to Elizabeth Sladen. I think it is inspired for the show to push for redemption for Androvax. He's been seen to do terrible things in the past but now these deeds are put in context and he is simply looking to rescue others of his (otherwise extinct) kind by whatever means necessary. He's amoral but not evil. It makes his character much more interesting to watch as a result. This is man who has torn through twelve worlds to take revenge for what was done to his people and now he just wants the chance to save one civilisation in penance. Bringing the android servants of the Alliance of Shades onto SJA has two positive effects, it encourages more young ones to go an seek outDreamland (which was very entertaining) but it also adds another very trendy race of robots to this series (they look so cool). What is it about SJA and car related humour usually involving doors being yanked off and tossed aside as they are commandeered? This really is a time for the show to get nostalgic about Sarah's past, not only tipping a wink to Pyramids of Mars but offering a handshake to The hand of Fear too with a mobile hand causing mischief. Two androids firing on each other with Clyde diving out of the way as explosions rip apart he corridor behind him...that is a pretty impressive set piece given it would have eaten up much of the budget. How does a show with a tenth (I've just pulled that figure out of the air but it is certainly much smaller than Doctor Who) manage to be so epic on occasion? Inside the vault, a vast, exciting place, are all manner of spacecraft and alien devices. It reminds me of the Black Archive in Enemy of the Bane only even more ambitious. Mr Dread's sacrifice at the end is played with such self-deprecating humour that it never once threatens to descend into syrup.

BURPSS is probably a step too far into Slitheen territory for some. I find the idea of an Ealingbranch of an extraterrestrial encounter group very funny - are there other groups dotted about all over the world? I bet Cardiff has several. 'Believe me, Mr Chandra, Ealing is a thrilling place!' The look that Haresh gives the most trampish of their members is spot on hilarious. Minty and Ocean have stepped straight out of any other CBBC show and are quite amply characterised (often a sign of a Phil Ford script) but I did like how this gave Gita a vital role in the story, how she was trying to make sense of her encounters and a chance for Mina Anwar to play evil (which she does better than anyone else on the show, in this or Prisoner of the Judoon). I also found how Ocean's experiences were embedded in the story quite useful to get a handle on her character. So yes, the organisation is quite crudely written but there are a handful of bonuses to it that make the exercise worthwhile. And there are some great gags to be had with the name BURPSS ('Pardon me?').

The Bad: It is a shame that Anjili Mohindra chooses to ape the Elizabeth Sladen style of possession performance (from Judoon, not Hand of Fear) because it lacks any kind of conviction. It sounds like an actress trying to sound frightening, rather than simply being frightening. What a shame that there wasn't time to finish off Ocean's story and so instead she shuffles off stage, unsatisfied in the knowledge that Gita and the others have had their minds wiped by the Men in Black. If her story wasn't going to come to fruition I don't quite understand her inclusion.

Result: The Vault of Secrets, let me count the ways I love thee; the return of an excellent villain with a gripping modus operandi, the expansion of the Alliance of Shades from Doctor Who's Dreamland, the chance for Mina Anwar to play something other than broad comedy (although she sure gets to do that too), stylish direction and impressive set pieces, cracking dialogue, a conclusion that allows a peek into the vault and the impressive contents within and the poignant redemption of a character that I had long written off as a bad'un. BURPS are the only real negative if you are the sort of adult that looks at everything through very serious glasses - the organisation and characters within are pure panto but even they made me raise a smile more than frustrating me. It is a story that rewards with repeated viewings, outwardly appearing like the weakest story of the season because it doesn't have a hook as strong as all the other stories (Luke going to university, the return of Jo Grant (Jones), the empty planet, lost in time and Sarah gets dementia respectively) but it is so stuffed full of wonderful scenes, great lines and little nuggets that makes you recognise that this show is full of brio at this stage. This story would have been a major disappointment if the vault hadn't been worth making all this fuss about but once the doors are open and we are afforded a peek inside it is a place of genuine awe. I could see a whole story taking place inside the vault via various spacecraft. I'm pleased I gave this one another shot, it proved to be a surprise winner: 8/10

Prisoners of the Lake written by Justin Richards and directed by Nicholas Briggs

What's it about: Captain Mike Yates is investigating the disappearance of artefacts from an archaeological site deep below Dunstanton Lake. It’s hardly a job for UNIT. But when the team discover a mysterious ancient structure buried deep underwater, all that changes. When chief archaeologist Freda Mattingly ventures inside, she soon realises that her skills do not begin to equip her to deal with what she finds. As an ancient menace begins to stir the Doctor, Jo Grant and Mike Yates must dive down to the lake bed and discover the secrets hidden there. Secrets that could mean the end of all life on Earth…

Good Grief: The Doctor is not remotely interested in chasing after the Brigadier's mysteries, even when Jo tries to put an exciting spin on them. He walks into any establishment and acts as if he owns the place and doesn't give a damn if it upsets anybody or not. Something of an expert in everything, especially modesty. He might be a pompous know it all but he will step into danger at a moments notice to save his friends. Confidence is his key characteristic, for good or for ill. If anyone can talk himself out of trouble it is the Doctor. It's in the moments of real gravity that Trelor sounds bang on like Pertwee, where he has to issue an order and take command of a situation. The third Doctor had a way of making any situation, no matter how absurd (think Gell Guards or blobby anti-matter jelly) seem like it was the end of the world. And Treloar captures that beautifully. The Doctor might bang on about how much humanity bores/irritates/frustrates him but he will fight until his last breath to prevent any harm coming to the people on the planet he is stuck on. That's why he's the hero.

Dippy Agent: Jo went on an underwater assault course just last year...is this another of her fabricated stories so she doesn't get left out of the action and will she cause a massive plot complication because of it? I suppose that is the most extreme description you could give Jo - a useful plot complication. She was a way of stretching a four parter to a six parter. It's omitting to mention the great charm and humour that Manning brought to the role and the series though. Richards gives Jo an authentic series eight showing here; a buddy for the Doctor, someone who stumbles around in dangerous environments and gets into blunders and somebody who can be relied on to provide the humanity in any given situation. Strangely Manning fares less well in full cast dramas than she does in stories she narrates in their entirety (she was similarly uncomfortable in The Defectors). She's adequate in Prisoners without giving the sort of full throttle performance that rocketed stories like Find and Replace into something truly special.

Camp Soldier: Mike Yates has enjoyed a quiet revolution on audio between the Nest Cottage audios and his appearances in Big Finish stories. He's actually racked up an impressive number of stories now and it certainly helps that Richard Franklin sounds as though he hasn't aged a day since Planet of the Spiders. Mike was never the most exciting character on television (until he turned rogue and even then he was a bit wet) but on audio he has been re-interpreted as somebody a bit more thoughtful and resourceful, somebody grounded that the Doctor can rely on in a crisis. Somebody I like, rather than tolerate. When the Doctor starts insulting people willy nilly, Mike steps in to point out he is being rude and the man he is insulting is actually highly qualified.

Standout Performance: How do I feel about Big Finish recasting the third Doctor? How do I feel about recasting the Doctors in general? If you had asked me fifteen years ago when I was still a precocious youth I probably would have ran around the room declaring it the worst idea ever conceived, hurl some abuse in your face and refuse to talk to you again. Something extraordinary happened when the companion chronicles were devised and produced, Big Finish were able to find a subtle way of recasting the Doctors over and over again as the performers who played their companions offered authentic and often poignant portrayals of the Doctors that they travelled with. William Russell, Peter Purves, Frazer Hines and Katy Manning in particular captured their Doctor with a touching sense of nostalgia for the actor they once worked with. Such was the success of the range it paved the way for Big Finish to definitively recast certain performers that are no longer with us in full cast audios. Was this crossing a line? I don't think so. It's finding new avenues to tell stories that otherwise wouldn't be able to be told given that the original actors are no longer with us. That is a fact and it is hardly an affront to them when the replacements are trying to tap into the same magic that they created in the first play. More an homage than an interpretation. For some people, this is a complete no-no. I get that. I hope that those same people can't bring themselves to watch The Five Doctors. Prisoners of the Lake sees Tim Treloar making his debut in a full length story as the third Doctor. Is he a spot on mimic of Pertwee? No. But the gravelly tones, petulance and good humour capture enough of what Pertwee brought to the role for you to be able to suspend your belief and enjoy the story unfold. It's an enjoyable performance in an enjoyable story and the fact that Treloar allowed me to imagine Jon Pertwee alive and in action again felt like a real gift. I certainly don't object to more of the same, it means that the Pertwee era can now be represented in the same lavish way as the other classic eras of the show.

Great Ideas: Something sinister has occurred in an underwater base. In one sentence Justin Richards manages to sum up the essence of a great Doctor Who story. A mystery in an exciting setting. I certainly don't object to narration in a full cast drama, it sure cuts away all that awkward and flabby descriptive dialogue that can sink an otherwise good story. There is a touch of The Sea Devils to the Doctor heading underwater in a diving bell to an underwater base but I don't think it does this range any harm at all to mimic the era it is supposed to be set in to get itself established. If, like the fourth Doctor adventures, it continues to play the nostalgia card it could get a little wearying but at this stage this is exactly the sort of thing I am looking for. Something that feels like a Pertwee adventure that could have taken place. The structure under the water turns out to be an alien spaceship...well of course it does! And a stone spaceship at that (see The Daemons). The Dastrons are some of the most callous, vicious and murderous life forms in the cosmos, their expansionist imperialism cost the lives of millions. The prisoners of the lake are the leaders of the Dastron military forces, the ones responsible for attempting to annex their neighbouring star systems. The two stone robots are prosecutor and defender and the transport vessel is a justice environment to try the Dastron leaders. Operating a hyperdrive in the atmosphere of the Earth would be catastrophic, causing massive devastation to an enormous area. Millions will die.

Musical Cues: Hah. When I heard how authentic the brassy and bold musical score was for this story I knew Graeme Robertson had to be involved somewhere along the line. It seems that whatever era of the show he is scoring, he manages to nail the feel of the music. Early Pertwee was electronic madness, melodramatic blasts, beeps and whistles and all of that is in here. Robertson doesn't just copy the music, he captures the essence of it and does his own thing. Nicholas Briggs is one of the most underrated musicians at Big Finish and his presence is also felt. 

Isn't it Odd: If out of the unusual Who is your bag then this will not appeal to you in the slightest. It doesn't come much more traditional than this. The only element that differs from the norm is Trelor in the title role. And for those of you who remember how simplistic and escape/capture the Pertwee years could be at time, do not prepare to have your intellect tested.

Standout Scene: As strange it might sound, my favourite scene was the initial scene in the UNIT lab featuring the Doctor and Jo. Simply because my fears were unfounded and that chemistry was recaptured with a new actor in the role.

Result: A UNIT assignment? Check. A base under siege? Check. An alien presence on Earth? Check. Somebody in authority turned corrupt? Check. A pompous, arrogant Doctor, a ditzy female agent and a stalwart Captain? Check, check and check. Prisoners of the Lake is the archetypal Pertwee adventure and to kick start this new thread of stories that is something of a relief. To bound into a new series of full cast third Doctor adventures with an experimental tale (like Carnival of Monsters) would have been an odd choice. So I can understand why the most reliable pair of hands (and I mean that in a positive way) at Big Finish's disposal was drafted in to smooth the way for Tim Treloar in his debut adventure. Justin Richards has turned his hand to every Doctor and every type of Doctor Who story, usually with some degree of success and he understands exactly the sort of nostalgia kick that the fans of this era might be looking for. There is nothing extraordinary going on in Prisoners but it chugs along very entertainingly indeed and ticks pretty much every Pertwee adventure box. Treloar gives a wonderful turn in what is a pretty thankless task of recreating Pertwee's Doctor, given that half the audience is against him from the start. There were moments when I could see Pertwee in action and it was certainly convincing enough to make an authentic story even more agreeable. I think you would have to really want this experiment to fail to not appreciate all the effort that has gone into Treloar's performance here and the energy he injects into the piece. As good as some of the Companion Chronicles were at capturing the essence of the era, this feels like a genuine lost story. There are lots of other bonuses; a gorgeously bombastic score, a star turn from Carolyn Seymour who I have always wanted to appear in a Doctor Who story, narration enabling the story to skip past without dodgy expository dialogue and a story that comes together like a perfectly crafted puzzle. The writer that most resembles Terrance Dicks for clarity, rock solid plotting and firm characterisation of the regulars is Justin Richards so whilst this story is essentially a lot of running about from place to place (so many Doctor Who stories are), it lives and breathes the early seventies and transports you back to that cosy time effortlessly: 8/10

Adrift written by Chris Chibnall and directed by Mark Everest

This story in a nutshell: A boy has gone missing and Gwen investigates the case…

Hunky Hero: Jack lies through his teeth to Gwen when she asks him why he might have been on the barge on the night of Jonah’s disappearance but at this stage we have no reason not to believe him which makes the revelation that he has been lying a heart stopping moment. What could be so bad that he would hid the truth from his best friend who has been investigating this case with some interest? I wanted to slap Jack around the face with a wet halibut when he told Gwen he wasn’t sure shat she wanted him to do after he is presented with the horrifying accumulation of evidence that the Rift is gobbling innocent people up. It’s a clever scene because this is exactly the sort of inhuman response we have come to expect from him and yet it is hiding the real truth that he has been helping these people for years without anybody know about it. The way this episode gives this cold-blooded automaton a heart is worthy of applause. Gwen realising that these are all the people she has been investigating and discovering Jack at the heart of it throws a dark shroud of mystery over his character again. It’s the most interesting he has been in the first two seasons. Setting up the facility to help the victims of the Rift is the most human thing he has done yet in the series and I especially like the fact that there are only seventeen victims at the moment. Proof that there are still loads of victims out there that haven’t been found. That has an honesty to it too.

Jack’s Crew: Gwen has always been the emotional face of Torchwood and she is exactly the character to take up the heartbreaking challenge of having to find a missing boy. At first her Torchwood attitude seems prevalent until Andy asks her if something as simple as a missing child is beneath her these days which was exactly the sort of slap around the face she needed. I was literally applauding when Andy told Gwen that she had become hard and that she used to care about people no matter who they were…it’s the wake up call she has needed for a while to snap her out of the slow motion swaggering, gun toting ways she has developed since joining this ridiculous organisation. This episode is as much about Gwen coming to terms with herself as it is the mystery and she feels so strongly about the condemnation of her character she asks the closest independent observer – Rhys. Gwen and Rhys discussing children has some emotional weight to it in hindsight since in three episodes time she would be announcing her pregnancy. Gwen tries to do her best by Nikki and to give her the son she so desperately wants to see again. When confronted with the horrifying truth Nikki asks Gwen to promise to not do this to any of the other parents who have lost their children because the hope that one day their kid will walk through the door unharmed is preferable to facing such a monstrosity. It’s a marvellous moment of ingratitude that is completely understandable and as a result you really feel for Gwen despite the fact that she has only done what she thought was the right thing.

Catching up with PC Andy is always a joy because he is stuck in the uncomfortable position of both condemning Torchwood for the way they walk all over everybody (and who wouldn’t think that?) and wanting to join them because it looks cool. Andy also has the hots for Gwen but now she has learnt where her loyalties lie (the fabulous Rhys) his feelings are unreciprocated (unusually for this show). Its almost as if Torchwood has learnt that holding back every once and a while creates tension and drama – go figure! Like a tap he cannot switch his feelings for her off and he wont be a hypocrite and endorse their wedding when he thinks that Rhys is beneath her. When she cuts him out of the investigation when it gets too ‘Torchwood’ you feel genuinely sorry for the guy who kick started this whole thing because he had a heart. Even the sudden ‘no’ when he asks her if she would ever ask if he could join Torchwood felt real because Andy’s ‘thank you’ isn’t the reaction to an insult but a thankful response for some honesty at last.

Rhys laughing his head off at Andy’s feelings for Gwen feels very real to me. Its so much more entertaining than had he gone off in a jealous rant (and had this episode taken place earlier in the run before Torchwood discovered subtlety it so would have taken that angle!). Their toasty passion in the morning make me smile, Myles and Owen have such lovely chemistry at this stage. Gwen viciously fights the idea of having kids because of her job and Rhys (always the voice of reason) reminds her that she is saving the world over and over for a reason (with a couple of fucks thrown in to drive the point home and make her really listen). They do it so people can live their lives and they have the right to do that as well. Gwen seriously needs someone like Rhys in her life to provide the perspective of normality otherwise she would get entirely whisked up into the delusions of grandeur and sacrifice that Torchwood peddles. She cannot think that he extraterrestrial shit she deals with is more important than real life and that is exactly the tone the series has needed to adopt since the beginning. It got so caught up in the camp excesses of violence, swearing and sex that it forgot that the show needed a beating heart of emotion too.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘I sleep in here some nights. Bury my head in the pillow. It still smells of him except the more I do it the more it smells like me.’
‘What is the Rift doesn’t just leave stuff behind? What if it also takes?’ – it’s a fresh idea and one tied into the shows mythology. Coming just a few weeks after a zombie fest at a wedding it proves that Torchwood still has some tricks up its sleeve.
‘We don’t have to be this hard! It isn’t a badge of honour!’ – hurrah! Its like Chibnall has taken away a list of all my complaints about this show and decided to do something about them!
‘It was better that I didn’t know. Before you I had hope.’

The Good: Do you know I fell in love with Gavin & Stacey and especially with the character of Nessa without realising that I had already seen Ruth Jones play this character on Torchwood. Not because she is unmemorable in the role, quite the opposite. She gives a touching performance and imbues her character with an uncomfortable, almost incestual longing to find her son (curling up on his bed is a discomforting moment for this viewer whose mother in law invests a similar sort of emotional attachment to his husband!) but it was because she is so different from Nessa (even to look at) that I did not make the connection. The pre titles sequence is nicely shot to resemble some kind of alien abduction – it actually feels as if the scene has leapt straight from The X-Files because of its dramatic simplicity and attention grabbing execution. The music is superlative in this episode – Torchwood has often employed a bombastic and unsubtle score because that is exactly the sort of show it is but with the delicate, emotional atmosphere of Adrift it gives the composer a chance to really show what he is made of and he takes you on an emotional musical journey too. The way the episode shows that Nikki has turned the search for her son into a crusade is heartbreaking because it has consumed her entire life and you know that whatever the answer is, even the finality of death, it will force her to break down and accept the loss she is denying herself. All the tapes scattered around her front room where she has been monitoring all the CCTV footage is a strong image that captures the obsession that has gripped her. What Ruth Jones brings to the role is a calm acceptance of this mania that is hypnotic. Everybody can see how unhealthy this except Nikki. It’s the most emotionally honest the show has been since Random Shoes. I love the sequence where Nikki accepts with some solemnity that she will be the only person who will come to her ‘missing persons’ meeting and then the room starts filling up with grieving parents who have also lost their kids. It opens up the episode by suggesting there is some much more frightening and far reaching going on here through a moment of spine tingling sentiment and not the usual Torchwood leap of logic (and the music is superb). Gwen and Tosh investigating all the missing cases grips because for once the investigation actually means something. It wouldn’t surprise me if Russell T Davies said he stole the idea of exploiting the horror of losing children for Children of Earth from this episode because it is such a palpable threat in both pieces of storytelling. I don’t know what kind of answer I was expecting to the mystery of Jonah’s disappearance but I didn’t think it would be as surprising and satisfying as a mental hospital set up out of the way for victims that have been swallowed up and spat out by the Rift, all with emotional and physical scars. It’s a chilling place and feels very real. Robert Pugh pulls off the superb feat of being both tragic and menacing as the older Jonah and the scenes of him screaming silently as the horror of the Rift grips him stayed with me long after the episode had ended. Its one of my enduring images of this episode, his eyes full of terror as he screams an endless scream. The moment Gwen has to tell Ruth that she has found Jonah was the moment I broke, I couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. Mother and son reunited and she rejects him outright before her the evidence she needs to realise this scarred monster is her boy. Being dragged away from him because he needs special care is a harsh ending for a character who deserved a happy ending.

The Bad: Just to remind us this is still Torchwood there is a scene with Jack and Ianto stark bollock naked grinding away over his desk. Is it really necessary? If I want to watch pornography I know where to look and I don’t usually look for it in a Doctor Who spin off. It’s the one off kilter moment of unsubtlety in an episode that treads a fine line of delicacy throughout.

The Shallow Bit: Although neither of them is what would accepted as conventionally attractive (whatever that means?) I find both Kai Owen as Rhys and Tom Price as Andy to be absolutely gorgeous. It could because the characters feel so real and likable but there is definitely something special about both of these blokes that draws me to them.

Result: Is this really a Chris Chibnall script? Adrift is so tightly focussed on the story it wants to tell and approaches the material with an emotional honesty that before the end titles my eyes were full of tears. It wears its Welsh setting as a badge of honour and the location filming is as beautiful and attention grabbing as the episode itself. What I really love about Adrift is that it doesn’t cheat the audience at any point. It promises them us the mystery of the missing boy and we see how Gwen (who has always been the beating heart of this team) slowly puts the pieces together to lead to a satisfactory and shocking conclusion. Along the way we discover a great deal about Jack and the nature of Torchwood which manages to genuinely shock and we reach a devastating conclusion about what really happened to Jonah. It isn’t camp, shallow, stupid or illogical – all of Chibnall’s worse script excesses and it makes me wonder if he can produce something this good why hasn’t he done it before? If Torchwood was as good as this all the time during its standalone period they would have never moved to the serial storylines. Adrift is emotionally sincere and gripping, it is excellent: 9/10