The Nimon Be Praised! Plus Two Watch Who Discuss The Power of the Daleks

Join Jack & Joe & Mark & Sarah as two podcasts combine to have fun talking about the second Peter Cushing movie. Gimp costumes, jazz music, unfinished direction, fabulous Daleks and a lacklustre Doctor all feature. And the tale of the hotel from hell that has to be heard to be believed. This is a three way call from Australia to Cardiff to Eastbourne, so please forgive a few audio issues.

Daleks Invasion 210AD

DS9 – The Adversary

 

Plot – I can remember thinking at the time that I really can’t have been paying too much attention to DS9 because I had never heard of the Tzenkethi before. Turns out nobody had. Or if they had it must have been some obscure reference. I rather like the idea of a Trek show having a race we know nothing about at the centre of an episode. Funnily enough, we still don’t know anything about them by the end of the episode – we never quite make it into their space or see what they look like. Why should the universe be so small that only the big powers of the Quadrant are the focus of all the stories?

Character – Does a Star Trek show have to be commanded by a Captain in order to be taken seriously? According to a certain section of Trek fandom, apparently so. They would be delighted by the events at the beginning of this episode and although I was pretty nonplussed about it at the time, I can now see that this was a real turning point for Avery Brooks. From this point on he was able to create his own look and command with authority and style. The episode opens with Jake saying that he has been wanting to say something for a very long time and I was wondering if it was going to be ‘let’s get out of this dump.’ It is a fact that Kirk, Picard, Janeway and Archer all start their respective shows as Captain’s and some of them even make it to the exalted position of Admiral before they leave the franchise but Avery Brooks’ Sisko goes on a far more elevating journey of Commander to God. It’s fully justified in my eyes. Although given how O’Brien sucks up to him in this episode you might think that he has already reached that status. It’s great how Sisko mentions that his rank really doesn’t change anything because he already has the assignment and crew that he wants. The rank doesn’t make much of a difference.

Sisko describes Kassidy as very independent, a little opinionated and with a nice sense of humour. Oh mate, you haven’t seen anything yet. It’s great that important aspects of the show are simmering here; Sisko’s relationship with Kassidy, Eddington getting close to Sisko, Dax earning her stripes as the biggest gossip in town, the changelings stepping out of the shadows…

The hyper paranoid Bolian should have been a recurring character but he should only show up in episodes where he is questioning everybody around him. Homefront. Empok Nor. The Assignment. The Darkness and the Light. Field of Fire. He could be the sign that we’re in for a scary episode.

Standout Dialogue – ‘I don’t have time to play choose the changeling!’

‘He said you’re too late…we’re everywhere.’

Performance – Avery Brooks, freshly promoted, is really authoritative. There’s no doubt who is in command of this ship.

Production – Can DS9 turn out the Trek equivalent of The Thing? Throw in some influence from The Hunt From Red October into the mix and you have one of the most atmospheric Berman era episodes yet. It’s a chance to explore the Defiant in a lot more depth than has been possible before and a whole new bunch of sets is conjured up to make it a believable setting, and drenched in shadows and bathed in red light it becomes a claustrophobic, submarine-like environment for the changeling to stalk about in. The Thing elements come in the shape of the extreme paranoia that everybody feels knowing that the Changeling could be anyone or anything and whilst the shapeshifting special effects are a little ropey 20 years after transmission, the fact that I am only saying ‘a little’ is something of a miracle. Some of the Enterprise CGI landscapes make me want to dive under the sofa in embarrassment. The morphing effects can be excused because they look rather stylish…and well who is anybody to say that that isn’t what a morphing changeling looks like?

The camera is in on the joke that the changeling can hide anywhere and at times crawls along the sets in a menacing way suggesting that it is sneaking up on the members of the crew. In the middle sections of the episode the music dares to get loud, dramatic and exciting. Berman must have been having a fit.

They get to do the blood test sequence twice and wring every ounce of tension out of the idea. I love the close ups on everybody’s faces as they are being performed, as though everybody is expecting it to be everybody. The first time around it is especially tense because Julian has been behaving suspiciously in the bowels of the ship so we are waiting for him to spring and make his move. It’s almost a disappointment that it turns out to be the one person who is fresh to the crew, but it does confirm that there is a changeling in their midst which is a terrifically spooky development. Why is it that whenever there is a possibility of a traitor on board that every crew suddenly starts acting questionably? It’s a hilarious phenomenon.

Best moment – Odo is rather foolish to suggest that no changeling has ever harmed another and that he would hate to be the first…doesn’t he know how television works? When you make a promise like that, you have to break it by the episodes end. There’s a real focus on just how little Odo understands his people here and how embarrassed he is that they are causing all this trouble. It’s something the show would really go on to the exploit in the shows final four years, capitalising on Auberjonois’ considerable talents as their black sheep. He has to make a terrible choice at the climax and with this being DS9 it has huge consequences for Odo to come. I don’t care how awkward the FX shot of Odo grappling with the changeling is, it’s a really dramatic, grisly death and his parting words to Odo with a smile make it all worthwhile. They really are sick bastards, dishing out threats in their dying breath. Nobody conveys hurt like Auberjonois and his reaction to the murder he is forced to commit really hits home.

The look that everybody gives each other over the ward room table as Odo reveals the changeling message is worth the admission price alone.

A reason to watch this episode again – This is peak DS9, at the point where it was really finding its voice and the actors had become massively confident in their roles. The Dominion was slowly invading the show and becoming its life blood and this outer space chiller is where that is all cemented. Claustrophobic, moody and dramatic, The Adversary wants to make the idea that a changeling can be anyone or anything the most chilling of ideas and that one of their number can cause a huge interstellar conflict. It’s basically laying the groundwork for the rest of the series. This being DS9 with its flawed, grungy crew it isn’t long before the fireworks start and they are all turning on each other. I love the fact that there are several trained killers on the crew so when the shit hits the fan like this you know that they are capable of really looking after themselves. It adds an extra layer of frisson to the tense moments. You have the political ramifications of the changeling starting a war, the personal threat of the crew being in imminent danger and the emotional threat to Odo at having to protect his family at the expense of his people. I think it was at this point that I think the writers and actors realised they were really onto something. It’s a tense finale and doesn’t feel the need to end the season on a false moment of jeopardy but instead to linger on the threat of much more danger to come. This is a stylish episode and one to savour.

****1/2 out of *****

VOY – Equinox Part One

Plot – In another universe, UPN commissioned a new Trek show after TNG finished airing called Equinox featuring a group of Starfleet’s finest trapped in a region of space away from home with no hope or resources. They are forced to trade in their ideals in order to keep themselves alive and make some very questionable (or certain court martiable) decisions to keep themselves alive, fed and powered. At the end of Equinox’s fifth season it makes contact with another Starfleet vessel, Voyager, which by chance has also been working its way through the Delta Quadrant. This never heard of before ship is helmed by Captain Kathryn Janeway and she has managed to get this far without compromising her vow to Starfleet and everything it stands for. Naturally irritated at them having the rougher ride, Captain Ransome attempts a coup to takeover this good as new ship in order to get his crew home…

…I especially love the flashbacks to previous Equinox episodes. It gives you an idea of how other instalments of this show might have played out.

Character – Having the Voyager and Equinox crews’ side by side is like holding up a mirror and seeing their dark reflection. This is what the Voyager crew might have been had they had to face harsher choices along the way. Naturally the Voyager’s compliment is ecstatic to see new faces and welcomes them on board, with the big assumption that they are as incorrupt and nicey nice as they are. Once the true nature of what the Equinox crew has done is revealed there is a feeling of arrogance amongst the Voyager crew, a suggestion that they have the moral high ground. The DS9 crew faced much tougher situations than the Equinox crew and as a result had to get their hands dirty and make some highly dubious decisions along the way as they fought a war and it really goes to show how superior the human race is in this time when put under real pressure. The long and the short of this is that Voyager really hasn’t been through the grind. It has functioning holodecks that are about to open 24/7. Food in abundance. A functioning ship. Heat. Clothing. Friendship. Camaraderie. They have no right to claim any kind of moral high ground because they haven’t had to suffer. It makes them feel unsympathetic, which is actually rather refreshing. Because they are so often portrayed as vanilla Starfleet. Seeing this uglier side of their personalities generates some interest.

The idea of Torres’ old lover turning up on the Equinox is a really tasty one and one that could have played out throughout the rest of the show. Imagine, it might mean that Tom Paris could stop being such an entitled douchebag when it comes to his relationship and he might have had to fight for Torres’ attention instead of taking her for granted. ‘You want to flirt with your new ship, Alice? Go right ahead, I’ll be in holodeck two with Max.’ Instead of this awesome co-incidence being a dreadful soap opera element thrown in to add some humour it is used much more insidiously than that. Max uses his previous relationship with Torres to access system that will allow the Equinox crew to continue to exploit the aliens and get them home. You can only hope there will be some emotional fallout for this in the next episode.

Showing Gilmore suffering PTSD and struggling being in confined spaces was a really smart move on the writer’s part. It shows a level of suppressed guilt and fear at the experiences that she has been through. How comes the writers can take brave decisions with the guest characters like this?

Janeway is judgemental here, but within reason. I think she might have forgotten the twenty times she has broken with the Prime Directive in order to get out of less dire situations than those of the Equinox crew but it might be a possibility that she has suffered one of the many reset buttons that Voyager has encountered over the years and forgotten about them all. In the second episode she is positively psychotic in her condemnation of Ransom, but here it is bitter disappointment and professional disapproval.

Performance – I’ve heard mixed reviews about John Savage’s Ransom but I think in the first episode that he is edgy and dark and precisely the right mix of faux Starfleet manners and sinister plotting with his crew. It’s a role that might have ben overplayed but Savage keeps it quiet and insidious. At times you could squint and see a perfectly respectable Starfleet officer and that’s the greatest trick he pulls. Once Ransom has committed to the course of sacrificing the aliens in order to get home, he will not deviate from that decision, despite the objections of his crew now that they have the comfort of Voyager to enjoy. That’s his downfall. Not making a bad call when the chips are down. Anybody could do that. But choosing to murder when there is another option on the table, that’s truly betraying your principles in order to serve yourself. The experiments are described as meticulous and brutal so whilst Ransom is trying to proclaim how guilty he felt when performing them it doesn’t quite ring true. That ambiguity is quite exciting in a show like Voyager.

Production – God bless Brannon Braga. There he was trying to create the most frightening alien race that Star Trek has ever seen. Able to pop in and out of subspace, ghostly and ethereal, capable of killing with a touch and absolutely bloody pissed at having been tortured and exploited, this could have been the apotheosis of Trek’s monster races. Then the FX crew get their hands on the idea and create some godawful Slimer knock-offs but somehow even more comical looking and suddenly all the work that David Livingston is doing to make these creatures seem menacing feels like it has been chucked out the window. Nothing dates worse than CGI, I’m certain of that now and the realisation these ‘nasties’ truly are the nadir of this episode.

Best moment – Sending the Doctor into the dangerous section of the Equinox to discover what horrors they have been undertaking is a great way to get him involved without shoehorning him into the plot.

I wish they hadn’t done that – How Chakotay can possibly chastise anybody from the Equinox crew when he was part of a terrorist group that tortured and murdered people over a land dispute baffles me. He comes off the worst here, when perhaps he should have empathised with them a little.

Perhaps the only let down of the production besides the Slimers is the cliffhanger. When you stack it up against some of the whoppers from the franchise – Locutus of Borg, the Dominion coming through the wormhole, Species 8472 – the fissure opening and a dodgy CGI creature threatening to take out Janeway is pretty small fry. All the excitement around the cliffhanger is where the good stuff lies. The fake Doctor handing weapons to his crew, the shootout in Voyager’s corridors, capturing the Slimer. It’s a decent closing act because of everything but the cliffhanger.

A reason to watch this episode again – A glimpse into what Voyager might have been if the writers had been allowed to take more risks. Equinox marks the beginning of the end of the great event episodes of this show after two spectacular years of them (Scorpion, The Year of Hell, Dark Frontier, Timeless) and it does so with real passion and suspense. The crew of the Equinox is well drawn and played and they highlight particularly well against the Voyager crew for being so much more morally grey and in some places quite unlikable. I think this is what it might be like had the DS9 and Voyager crews rubbed shoulders. David Livingston ensures that this episode looks as moody as its subject matter and there is a creeping feeling of unease throughout as the true nature of what the Equinox crew have done in order to try and get home is revealed. This episode deserves real points for having the nuts to say something about how easy a ride Voyager has had until this point and it seems to suggest that from hereon in things might be a little rougher. If only that had been the case. I am pre-programmed to like any episode that deconstructs the Roddenberry vision of the future of humanity because I think it is fundamentally flawed and not a little arrogant and Ransom and his bunch would make a fine and grimy addition to the Voyager crew. I hope they get to stick around. The last ten minutes are particularly good as it is revealed how Janeway has had the wool pull thoroughly over her eyes and the Equinox crew make their move. It’s exciting and eventful and has smart things to say about the show. The monsters aren’t the Slimers, but the Starfleet crew that has been through hell and made the wrong choices. Yes, this is a very tasty season finale.

****1/2 out of *****

ENT – Regeneration

 

Plot – Should the Borg have been handled on Enterprise given that they were first (as in Starfleet’s first discovery of them) discovered on TNG in season two? Doesn’t that muddy up the timelines somewhat? I suppose that opens up of the question of whether Enterprise should dealing with any of the races as we know they from the Berman universe. Wanting to tell the stories of the founding days of the Federation and set the series before even TOS and wanting to bring back all the post TOS fan favourites does rather feel like having your cake and eating it. I can see the appeal, especially with a race as popular as the Borg. However, they were used to death on Voyager by the end and it has only technically been one season (ENT S1) since they haven’t been featured. It’s not like this was a huge comeback for the race who were seeing Voyager’s finale recently.

Saying that, the writers have come up with an ingenious way of bringing them back that ties into First Contact extremely well. There’s a good excuse for the Borg to be here but the story has to jump through hoops to explain why Archer and crew don’t remember these terrifying cyborgs and why they never wrote a log about them for Picard to find in the second season of TNG. Essentially it boils down to ‘we aren’t sure what those scary robots were and so we’ll forget that it ever happened.’

I’m a sucker for any story that takes its inspiration from The Thing From Another World and Regeneration offers up a ten-minute introduction at the Snowcap as the expedition discover the base previously attacked and are menaced by the Borg. Once again, the best material barely features the Enterprise crew and there is something extremely filmic and stylish about these early scenes. The snowy wilderness that the base is built in looks very impressive. Note to any future archaeological teams. Should you encounter the disembodied parts of several cyborg bodies and one of the arms starts coming to life…run.

Character – There’s a wonderful moment where Phlox and Reed discuss the Borg before they have met them and Phlox attempts to suggest that Starfleet officers should be more open about cybernetic technology. I love how he is always trying to make people see things from a unique perspective, from the other point of view. John Billingsley, as usual, brings the depth to the show and his reaction to being infected with Borg nanoprobes is to feel violated. He would rather commit suicide than become on of the Borg. What he goes through to rid himself of the nanoprobes looks like absolute torture, and it really stresses the invasion of your bodies when these nasties infect you.

Great Dialogue – ‘There’s no reason to assume they’re hostile’ ‘They don’t exactly look friendly.’

Production – There’s a great score to this episode which increases in intensity throughout. Remember when the Borg were first introduced in Q Who? Ron Jones’ was able to go completely mad and truly give them a memorable score. This is much more subtle and skilful, but slightly less memorable for it.

Best moment – For once I can really see the effort that has gone into the design of the Enterprise sets. David Livingston has so much fun dashing around the ship with cameras, effortlessly suggesting that this is a huge space that is under attack. The curved corridors mean that the movement feels very fluid and satisfying as we dash around the corridors.

Worst moment – I can’t take Reed seriously. He spoils a perfectly good sequence with the Borg attacking Enterprise with an overly melodramatic ‘stop what you’re doing!’

I wish they hadn’t done that – I’m not sure that Sussman and Strong can resist taking a visit to a Borg ship but I would have suggested that that was avoided. An encounter with the Borg on Enterprise could be pushed aside as just another encounter with a hostile alien species but to visit one of their vessels would surely mean that Archer would debrief Starfleet afterwards, perhaps even collect some visual evidence. Full marks for the atmosphere in these scenes but no marks for the logic of what comes afterwards (no evidence of the Borg in the Starfleet database).

A reason to watch this episode again – It seems improper to say but the best scenes in Regeneration are the ones that don’t feature the Enterprise crew at all. The opening ten minutes featuring the team discovering the Borg corpses in Antarctica are easily the most suspenseful and atmospheric of the episode, and the characters are very likable too. It feels like the opening of a really spooky movie. There’s a perfectly cogent explanation for the Borg’s presence in this story and so I’m not sure why so many Trek fans got their knickers in the twist. I’ve heard complaints that this was the episode where Enterprise jumped shark but in reality, this is one of the first Enterprise episodes to have a genuine sense of excitement and suspense about it. If only they could marry those words to this shows unique continuity and we would be in fine shape (actually that would come in season three). So much of the insecurity of this episode comes from the fact that we know precisely what the Borg are about but Archer and his chums don’t. We’re constantly waiting for the inevitable conflict and there is something to be said for making the audience wait in anticipation. I think a lot of people had made up their mind about Regeneration before watching it but this deserves re-evaluation because it is genuinely one of the strongest episodes of this shows run. It might not be subtle or especially deep, but it does have plenty of blood pumping through its veins and is dynamic throughout. This is really strong and even more impressive for giving the Borg a real sense of mystery and horror again, after so much use. They feel relentless, unstoppable and utterly unlike anything Enterprise has encountered before.

****1/2 out of *****

The Nimon Be Praised! Discuss The Douglas Adams Stories

Join Jack & Joe & Nathan (from Flight Through Entirety) as they wax lyrical about their three favourite stories from the Graham Williams era. Jack chooses The Pirate Planet and loves its skilful plotting, social commentary and sly wit. Nathan chooses City of Death and he’s beguiled by the romance of the story, the blissful guest characters and the smart and intelligent narrative. Joe favours Shada for its charm, its pricking at Time Lord pomposity and its beautiful new completed animated form. 

This is a huge happy love-in discussing some of the sunniest, smartest, wittiest Doctor Who stories. The perfect antidote to the 2020 blues.

There are a few pauses, as this was three separate calls coming together and forgive us for all being so ridiculously polite and trying encourage each other to talk when interrupting.

Douglas Adams

TNG – The Hunted

 

Plot – It’s one of those episodes where a planet is being considered for entry into the Federation and it’s absolutely clear that this is some kind of political boy’s club where the stuffier you are, the better. The Federation seems to be made up of bureaucrats and politicians at this point and it’s certainly not an alliance of planets that I would want to ally myself with. It’s extremely telling that a man who is willing to risk his life for what he believes in is hunted down by the Enterprise, who are trying to impress their new friends and potential allies when they are the ones who are technically in the wrong. Hunt a man down like a dog to make themselves a more impressive power in the Quadrant. Very telling. Why doesn’t the Federation do a more thorough check on the planets that they want to indoctrinate? Do they they just send Picard in to get an impression of them and then take his word for it? Don’t they look into their views on capital punishment, military indoctrination, etc? At the end of the episode Picard gets to make a speech where he condemns the government of this world for its treatment of its ex-military servicemen but he has entirely forgotten at this point that the beginning of the episode that he himself considered them ‘very suitable’ for Federation membership. Trek is moving out of its black and white morality into a greyer area but it hasn’t yet quite got the guts to look inwards and really criticise its heroes. That time would come, never fear.

Character – Anybody who makes a suicide run at the Enterprise in a ship that is infinitely smaller and less intimidating gets my vote. Danar is very well played and written with a nice line in sarcasm (I especially like how he tries to wind up Troi, who is attempting to be kind to him). It would have been very easy to have just made him a victim who is really a nice guy but there’s an arrogance there that means that whilst you are rooting for him, you’re still a little irritated by him too.

It’s refreshing that Troi gets something to do but frustrating that she is written as an utterly empathic bleeding heart as usual. I wish there was a little more steel here, that she was more willing to mouth back to Danar or to look down on him a little. Troi loves everybody and everyone and seeks out emotional justice for all…and that’s a little eye rolling. More marbled, even unlikable characterisation would make her far more interesting.

Where Troi is a little one note and behaves exactly how you would imagine her too, Picard is far more considered and interesting. He’s standout because he has been sent to this planet to do one thing, and he decides to fight his Federation principles and make his own choices.

Production – Oh gosh. The old matte painting planetary surfaces. I still miss them. They might have a remarkable 2D quality about them but with the added visual effects and lightning they have a sense of grandeur and of ambitiousness that the effortlessness of CGI lacks. The paintings would get better and better throughout TNG and DS9 until a point where planets like Bajor and Cardassia look absolutely authentic. It was with the advent of fully CGI planet surfaces in Enterprise where weirdly the shows started looking a little cheaper at time and that is because nothing dates worse than CGI in its infancy, whereas a vivid painting will always be extremely beautiful.

It’s only when you start having a fight in the Enterprise sets that you come to realise that they are essentially made out of flimsy plastic, cardboard and egg cartons. As Danar throws the Enterprise security team about the sets wobble with dramatic precariousness. There’s an energy to these scenes that I really like (TNG can sometimes be quite listless and so an extended fight scene is always welcome) but also a mannered feel to them too (clearly the stunt arranger doesn’t often have to put together a fight of magnitude very often and it shows). They would get much better at this sort of thing on DS9 and VOY when violence would become as important as politics.

Worst moment – Worf hiding in the turbolift whilst one of his security officers is being tackled and beaten doesn’t feel very honourable. At least he gets to prove his worth in the third act when he goes one on one against Danar and gets a ton of empty plastic crates thrown at him.

I wish they hadn’t done that – Roga’s transporter beam dance has to be seen to be believed.

A reason to watch this episode again – It’s season three TNG and so it has a sheen and confidence that sets it above much of the first two years…but that doesn’t mean that The Hunted is an especially accomplished episode of TNG. As usual it has some pretty ugly things to say about the Federation and how they conduct themselves politically in order to gain new powerful allies and this episode seems to be calling them out at times in how they are willing to behave in order to secure that relationship. Even persecuting innocent men. Fortunately, the Enterprise has Picard at the helm and Patrick Stewart playing him and so with some pontificating and riveting acting, the emptiness of what the Federation is doing and the consequences to the innocent are pointed out. It’s all a little heavy handed as you can imagine and with Troi empathising with the prisoner it all gets a little intolerably twee at times. But there’s action aplenty, a nice chance for Stewart to look thoughtful and I do appreciate the effort to point out the hypocrisy of a collective of planets that has gotten a little too big for its boots. If it doesn’t quite have the sense of angry purpose that it should, that is because Gene Roddenberry is still with us and the criticism of the Federation cannot quite be full bloodied at this point. In a few years DS9 would be savaging everything the Roddenberry ideal stands for, but at the moment the franchise is still a little too in thrall of the great man.

*** out of *****

DS9 – Rules of Acquisition

 Plot – ‘And once we get our foot in the door, they’ll never get it out’ – how smart was it to use something as innocuous as the Ferengi attempts to establish themselves in the Gamma Quadrant to introduce us to the biggest revelation about the new region of space that we will get. This is something that was suggested in the first season episode The Nagus and so the Dominion arc technically started about six episodes into the series. When Quark says he wants a piece of the Dominion, he should be careful what he wishes for.

Character – Whilst this episode concerns itself with the relationship between Quark and Pel, where it really wins is the relationship between Quark and Dax. It’s one of the unsung double acts of the show and it emerges here and runs right through until Tears of the Prophets. Quark is clearly hugely enamoured with Dax (who wouldn’t be?) and Dax admits freely that she hasn’t had more fun with a species than the Ferengi over the years. It’s a tight friendship the show dips into every now and again and it gives both characters a little extra depth for being there.

Another highlight is the emergence of Rom as a character who can step into the limelight and feature as prominently as Quark. That also starts here and continues from this point on. He loves his brother and he’s still trying to behave like a good, profit hungry Ferengi but realises that Pel is far better at attracting his brother’s attention and earning profit and it brings out the worst in him. Max Grodenchik seizes this material and runs with it. It’s clear to see why the writers started giving him more and more to do.

How like the Nagus to come up with a revolutionary scheme to kick start commerce opportunities in the Gamma Quadrant but to hand it Quark just in case anything goes wrong. That Nagus is a tricky one, but he knows how to line his pockets AND stay atop the Tower of Commerce.

Performance – Wallace Shawn gets one of his best moments in the post-credits scene with Sisko and Kira. He gets to be charming, devious, funny and totally outmanoeuvred by Sisko. His amused reaction to that is great. His attempts to woo Kira are hilarious, especially her deep embarrassment of the gifts and ass pinchings.

Pel is an interesting character and one that probably would have made more of an impact had she been played by a more theatrical actress. It’s quite a muted turn when a brilliant, insightful sort of character was needed (think Moogie). However, I really like the gender politics on display and how all of the various characters respond to Pel. Quark is very confused (especially because he thinks she is man initially), Dax is shocked (moreso that she is a woman than that she is in love with Quark in a brilliant scene that shows that LGBTQ rights have finally struck Star Trek), Rom is thrilled (because it means he can discredit her) and the Nagus is utterly appalled (he can barely look at her or Quark, being the representation of the stuffy old Ferengi ways). That one character can provoke all these reactions is great, I just wish the character herself has been a little more impressive.

Best moment – The episode literally opens with Morn asleep on the Promenade sleeping off a hangover. That’s why this is the most realistic of Trek shows.

The sequence where Quark discovers that Pel is a female and faints is a perfectly played moment of silent comedy.

The wittiest moment of the entire episode comes when Pel rips her ears off in front of the Nagus and the consequences be damned. It forces Quark to think fast and cut a deal with the Nagus for his silence but lose his profits at the same time. It’s the moment when you realise he has genuine feelings for Pel. For a Ferengi this is the ultimate sacrifice. The performances are on point and the dialogue is fast and funny.

I wish they hadn’t done that – How amusing that the old Let This Be Our Last Battlefield method of painting aliens’ faces is back in action. The Dozai are easily the least impressive looking aliens that ever turned up on DS9 but on the plus side it does make a change from the usual bumps on the forehead. They are insanely overacted in some very funny scenes. I happen to get a great deal of enjoyment from over the top performances in SF (I’m a Doctor Who fan first and foremost) and so this stuff is my meat and potatoes. However, I can see why Trek fans might be a little mortified by it. I rather like their centre of commerce though, with people being shot to death over deals and a huge vat of alcohol spewing forth like a waterfall to get everybody het up.

A reason to watch this episode again – Hardly a classic, but Rules of Acquisition has an engaging, light-hearted tone, some interesting things to say about Ferengi society, features Wallace Shawn at his most excited and is beautifully acted by all concerned. The script is the problem, which is trying very hard to be controversial (the whole Quark having feelings for a man element) but never has the nuts to go all the way with it and instead leans on high-jinks rather than biting commentary. The other problem is Pel herself who remains sweet and incisive throughout but never really convinces as a truly impressive Ferengi female. We need Moogie. If this episode had been really bold they would have made Pel a bloke and forced Quark to face the idea that he might be bisexual or had Pel make far more of a mark on Ferengi society as a female who is earning profit. Instead it all gets tucked away a little too neatly and the scene where Quark is beset with gay panic is played entirely for laughs (it’s the only scene in the whole piece that is difficult to watch). I like this a lot and it is an easy watch and it is being brought to life by the greatest ensemble cast we’ve ever seen so at the end of the day it is still a perfectly enjoyable piece, but I can’t help thinking it could have been more.

***1/2 out of *****