This story in a nutshell: The show
is fond of these self-explanatory titles these days...
Indefinable: Probably his most
Doctorish showing so far this year whilst still retaining everything that makes
Capaldi's Doctor so unique from his immediate predecessors. Because he and
Clara are on awkward terms it is his chance to prise himself from her apron
strings and investigate on his own. It's about damn time he claimed his show
back and he dominates this episode, displaying as much warmth and humour as he
does attitude and bite. It's a healthy antidote to anybody who might have
thought he has plumbed new depths of bastard lately (last week he suggested a
child be murdered before him and skipped out on the climax). Whilst there is
the 'one last trip' with Clara angle to consider, it isn't the focus and that
means the Doctor can get on with doing what he does best, dealing with a
whopping great mystery, getting to grips with an icky monster and trying to
save as many lives as possible. Yes, I can see why many people are suggesting
this is the highlight of season eight so far. He scrubs up very nicely and
offering jelly babies in a cigarette case and trips in the TARDIS to handymen
reveals a gentler, more amenable side to the Time Lord that helps to build a
more rounded picture of him in an episode where he is deliberately walking
young women into potentially homicidal scenarios. The Doctor leaves Clara with
no doubt that when he drops her off it will be the last time he sees her. Once
she has made her choice he isn't going to play games or hang around, he's got
planets composed entirely of shrubs to be getting to. I love the scene where he
is talking to himself and makes the suggestion that this is the work of a mummy
(he says 'mummy' with the same gravitas that Tom Baker would). He's not above
pointing out peoples vices in order to expose them and kick them into action. I
loved the moment when he was smoothing his way into the Professor's good books,
it proves that he is capable of being polite whilst never dropping his cool
facade. The Doctor is at his best when surrounded by the scientists and taking
charge of the situation, trying to understand what the mummy is and why he is
working under direction. You can see the keen intelligence, the ruthless need
to unwrap the mystery and his willingness to sacrifice himself and others
exposes that he will go to any lengths to do it. Rather than offering words of
remorse to a man who is going to die in 30 seconds, the Doctor instead asks for
details about their animated cadaver. Clara is impressed that the Doctor saved
everyone but he refuses her praise and makes a glib remark about letting
everyone die. At least he's true to himself. The scene on the beach is the
closest you are going to get to a tender moment between this Doctor and Clara.
It's beautiful because it's so subtle, which is as affectionate as he gets.
It's taken two thirds of a season but Capaldi is firing on all cylinders now.

The Impossible Girl: I have one
major reservation about Clara in Mummy on the Orient Express but aside from
that aberration (albeit a major one, dealt with below) this is a pretty
inoffensive showing for the character. For once (and it is very rare this
season) the focus isn't on her (they'll make up for that next week) and she is
allowed to embody the companion role in the same way that she did last season
when we barely knew a thing about her. The difference between then and now is
her much improved chemistry with the actor who plays the Doctor and Coleman's
absolute confidence in the role now. I have re-watched season 7b in the past
week whilst cross training and I don't think I have ever seen an actress
struggling so much to make something out of so little characterisation
(especially in Hide and Nightmare in Silver). In comparison the Clara of Mummy
is at peace with her role in the series and Coleman is able to bring a lot more
personality because she isn't caught in the middle of an arc that is
deliberately making her character a mystery. I was a little perturbed by the
fact that Clara stepped from the TARDIS with the Doctor on speaking terms after
her impressive rage at him last week but Mathieson makes good sense of the
sudden reversal, making this Clara's last hurrah in the TARDIS and making an
attempt to say goodbye to the man that she has become alienated from. It gives
the train added atmosphere, a feeling of melancholy that the Doctor has chosen
this location as the last one to see his companion out on. Clara has figured
that she doesn't hate the Doctor but she cannot travel with this version, not
the way he does things. Until the climax Clara is essentially kept out of
action and out of the way - I could almost believe that in one version of this
story (following the dramatic climax of Kill the Moon) that she wasn't present
at all. Little of what takes place plot-wise would be affected. When she
realises she has been used by the Doctor to bring another victim to the mummy,
Clara is furious. It makes even more of a mockery of her decision at the
conclusion.

Sparkling Dialogue: 'We apologise
for any distress you may have just experienced. Grief counselling is available
on request. On the bright side, I'm sure you've all collected a lot of data.
Well done everyone!'
'I'm the Doctor and I will be your
victim tonight. Are you my mummy?'
'Sometimes the only choices you
have are bad ones...but you still have to choose.'
The Good:

* Maybe we'll skip over the season
which produced the cuddliest T-Rex stomp-stomp-a-stomping through Victorian
London, robots who are more stylish than they are scary hanging out in Sherwood
forest, the mobile dustbin with waving arms that is advertised as the most
perfect killing machine ever devised, the Admiral Ackbar substitute that is
mooning over its lost mate in the vaults of the bank of Karabraxos or the
forest of the night swamps modern day London and forgets to add any kind of
threat to the situation. You might be under the impression that Doctor Who has
forgotten how to scare its audience. But that's only half of this years
content. Season eight for me is the year where Doctor Who managed to
(occasionally) find the fear factor again. Firstly you have the Daleks who have
been allowed to get back to doing what they do best (murdering the fuck out of
everybody) but other nightmarish creatures come in the form of a haunting
silhouette sitting on a child's bed, an indefinable threat at the end of time,
giant spiders with drooling fangs nesting on the moon, two dimensional nasties
from another plan of existence that will suck the dimension from your body in
their attempt to say hello (or not). They've all been conceptual horrors that
have worked because I haven't quite been able to rationalise them or make them safe.
You can't communicate with them, simply run away. And that's the same problem
with this weeks macarcbre creation that drags it's putrid, scabby feet through
the plush carriages of the Orient Express. A Mummy might be a recognisable
horror from folklore but it is one that I have rarely seen realised this
unpleasantly. The last time one showed up on the programme it turned out to be
a servo robot slaved to an alien God trapped on Mars. This time round there are
no such concession to make the walking cadaver safe. Ribs exposed, dressings
barely covering its decaying flesh, sightless black orbs for eyes, gnashing,
broken teeth and a impression of putrefying for years before being animated and
let loose on its victims. So horrible that it wasn't able to make it into the
trailer for series eight in fear of scaring off the little ones for good.
What's unique about this mummy is the off the wall notion that once it has you
in it's sights you only have 66 seconds to live. The way these set pieces play
out with the victims unable to escape the rotting carcass within the cramped
setting creates some of the tensest moments in a Doctor Who episode for quite
some time. I especially like the murder of the chef who tries to put a door
between him and the mummy and he still winds up with its filthy hands around
his throat.
* I may have mentioned it several
times before but I just love stories set on trains. I couldn't explain what it
is beyond the boyish obsession with transport, the urgency of drama taking
place on a rapidly moving vehicle and the general atmosphere that comes with
the clickety-clack of the wheels bouncing off the track. Trapping a bunch of
characters in a confined space with a threat coming at them is hardly a new
idea in Doctor Who (it was the Troughton eras bread and butter) but how
sparkling is the notion of a Mummy savaging the passengers of the Orient
Express that is worming its way through space? That's a purely Doctor Who
notion that should get any fans toes tingling. The first time I spotted the
train cart gliding through the stars and heading towards a nebula I clapped
with excitement. The boldest, nuttiest setting for some time. Inside is pure
1930s and as we all know from experience that is where the BBC designers
absolutely shine. Plush decoration, elegant costumes, subdued lighting, food
and drink aplenty and even some catchy entertainment, the Orient Express is
stunningly realised to be the height of luxury.
* Foxes version of Don't Stop Me
Now is delightful. Doctor Who isn't usually the sort of show that has the time
to play out an entire song within it's economic time frame and I would
therefore suggest you check out the full song on YouTube which comes dressed
with plenty of clips from this season. It's one of the most impressive trailers
for Doctor Who I have ever seen.

* What a story set in one confined
location needs is some well defined characters to bring it alive. Since this
was originally a setting for an Agatha Christie book (which the title apes) it
makes sense that the assembled guests should be vividly characterised, even if
they are just fodder for the snarling cadaver. Impressively, Mummy on the
Orient Express has three characters that really stood out and if I'm honest
that is three more than the average these days in generally characterless world
of Moffat-Who. Whilst it does become a little obvious later on that there are
plenty in the crowd who haven't been handed a personality (especially when the
lab is in lockdown), Captain Quell, Perkins and Maisie all strike me as a strong
guest cast that are afforded enough time to make an impression. It might have
something to do with the way he is shot in the shadows when he first appears
but there is a sinister air around Frank Skinner's Perkins that makes him a
little more interesting than the loyal engineer he ultimately turns out to be.
I certainly wouldn't have objected in him hanging around in the TARDIS (a long
term fan, Skinner had to have the chance to take a spin around the console
room) and making the odd appearance in subsequent episodes (whilst not stepping
outside the ship at any point). That might have been an fun idea to play out
for the rest of the season. Perkins is the character that the Doctor has most
related to all year; hanging out in the shadows, trying to fix things without
making a fuss and not having to ingratiate himself with the passengers. Yes,
you can see why they might get on. Daisy Beaumont imbues Maisie with enough
regret and sadness to make her more than a flapping victim of fate and I found
the admission that she had long wished her grandmother dead an excellent bit of
character shorthand to understand the sort of person she was. Most impressive
of all though was David Bamber's Captain Quell who manages to convince with
relatively little screen time that he has had a chequered past, seen some
terrible things and is living out his life in a safe job where he thought he
could retire comfortably. There are acres of off screen history that is alluded
to and the viewer can sketch in, especially when you see how keen he is to hit
the bottle. Bamber is willing to expose the character at his best (brave and
uncompromising) and worst (despondent and irrational). It's an impressive
performance that could get lost in all the melodrama. The fact that the
character is marked because of suffering from post-traumatic stress is expertly
woven into the episode so the moment makes perfect sense. It's been a long time
since characters were whipped up this instantly, it was a skill that RTD
excelled at that Moffat lacks. Mathieson should be enticed back for this skill
alone (let alone all the other qualities that shine in Mummy and Flatline).

* I'd recognise John Sessions'
voice anywhere. His clipped, upper crust affectation proves remarkably
sinister, even if we never find out who he is. The kiss that is blown to And
Then There Were None was not lost on me.
* Decompressing the kitchen and
sucking the staff out into space because the Doctor made a phone call? That is harsh.
I proper kick in the gut for the Time Lord. In an era where it looked like
nobody could die, Moffat has returned the show to it's roots of murdering
innocents in creative ways. About damn time.
* The exquisitely shot and scored
scene on the beach. One of the best Doctor/Clara moments, highlighted as such
because it is followed by one of the worst.
The Bad:
* What the hell is wrong with
Danny Pink? I cannot relate to this guy at all. Clara phones him up and tells
him she is on a train that is travelling through galaxies that is being stalked
by a mummy. If that was me on the other end of the phone I would be desperate
to join her. Somehow Danny makes the idea of travelling in the TARDIS sound
like the dreariest of notions. Why would a character be created who does that?
And why would our beloved companion fall for such a funless jerk?
* After heaping praise on the
general look of this episode I have to admit I wasn't impressed by the lab set.
It was over lit and reminded me a lot of 80s Who, offering no shadows for the
mummy to hide in anymore.
* Who the frick was John Sessions'
character? How can something that important to the plot (especially after the
whole affair is exposed as a scientific expedition posing as a luxury trip) be
conveniently left blank?
* Perhaps any explanation
would have been a disappointment? Remember earlier in the season when I
discussed the nature of horror and how the reasoning behind the unnatural
occurrences often spoils the level of threat? That's exactly what happens here.
A slavering zombie decked in mucky bandages stalking innocent victims. That's
scary. A soldier of a war that we've never heard about re-animated for no good
reason and convinced by the Doctor that the conflict is over. That's just
puzzling. I'm not sure the situation is adequately explained at all but Capaldi
talks with confidence and speed you might just be bewitched into thinking it
all makes sense. I was left scratching my head as to how any of this was
relevant. The Doctor says 'we surrender' and the mummy stops killing and
is reduced to ashes? Worst soldier ever. Surely those that filled it 'full of
kit' thought of that? Who modified it in the first place? And what was up with
the 66 seconds malarkey? Did I miss the explanation for that? And who
controlled Gus? Why did they want the mummy reverse engineered?
* Clara's off. She's definitely
off. She's had a massive barney with the Doctor. She's had an adventure with
him that practically serves as a coda to their adventures. She's resolved to
leave the heartless man the Doctor has become and enjoy her relationship with
Danny. Whilst it has held up the action at times this character arc for Clara
has been woven into the season rather nicely, right back as far as Deep Breath
where she began trying to understand who this man was again. This is an
effective way of proving just how alien Capaldi's Doctor is, that he has
alienated his companion enough to leave. And now she's off. Definitely off. Oh
wait, no she isn't. In one of the most obscene moments of character reversal
Clara decides actually she wants to keep hanging with the Doctor just because
and never mind about the wobble that she had. What. The. Hell? The
climax of Kill the Moon worked so well because the Doctor has been acting so
callously, something he keeps up in this episode. To wipe away Clara's reaction
to all this so glibly makes the whole journey we have been going on seem so
pointless and it makes a mockery of the previous drama. Oh yeah, sorry, I was
angry but I want to make it to the end of the season so everything is okay now.
I was dumbfounded. Just at the point where Clara has started to exhibit some
personality she is dialled back to her factory settings in the most
unconvincing manner. Mind you if it came to a choice between travel with a
callous bastard and a life with a funless maths teacher... Creating drama that
you simply shrug off when it has done it's job? The whole thing feels off and
utterly unnatural.
The Shallow Bit: How do they do
it? Every time they give Jenna Coleman a makeover they somehow manages to make
her look even more gorgeous than the last time. This time she is dressed for
the period (mock 1930s). Anyone who is persuaded by the female form claiming
that Coleman is the most gorgeous creature to have graced Doctor Who could
quite possibly be telling the truth.
Result: 'To our last hurrah...' Another strong episode, albeit for
completely different reasons to Kill the Moon. I was a little hesitant about
Mummy on the Orient Express after my first viewing because I was so appalled by
the climax - it is the reverse season six syndrome. Back then I was convinced
that a handful of sub-par episodes were good because they ended on a humdinger
of a cliffhanger that blew my mind away (The Almost People, A Good Man Goes to
War). With Mummy you have a generally very engaging episode that reduces that frustratingly
refuses to provide any decent answers and climaxes on a moment of character
reversal that obliterates any character development for Clara in an instant.
Like Flesh and Stone, an arc intrusion in the last scene threatens to leave a
lingering feeling of disappointment in a piece that has so much to offer. Maddening.
However I want to focus on the positives because this claustrophobic chiller is
packed to the gills with them. A stylishly attired, captivating, occasionally
genial and fascinating twelfth Doctor with ample opportunities for Capaldi to
impress for one thing. A genuinely frightening monster with a catchy twist
(gone in 66 seconds) for another. Setting the episode on a train scores it
instant marks from me (its a childhood obsession I cannot shake) but the
realisation of the setting deserves high praise too. You can see precisely why
the Doctor chose this spot to say ta-ta to Clara. There are a handful of
well-drawn characters to push the story along and the set pieces of the mummy
stalking its victims are genuinely ghoulish. Director Paul Wilmshurst captures
the stifling feeling that you cannot escape this nasty creation no matter what
you try and do. For the first 40 minutes the episode juggles its plot, shocks
and characters with real skill and it's only when it comes to wrapping
everything up (hoho) that the narrative falters. Simply put, the answers are
non-existent and make very little sense of what has gone before. As much as I
can praise this story for getting so much spot on, I cannot offer full marks to
a writer who dazzles with frights in the one hand but has no reasoning to back
it up in the other. Funny, scary and engaging...but frustratingly kept from
being absolutely top dollar: 8/10