The Tsuranga Conundrum written by Chris Chibnall and directed by Jennifer Perrott

This story in a nutshell: The pting is…I’m not entirely sure I can sum it up in a nutshell. Antimatter. Asteroids. Bomb. Critter. A baby. 

Oh Brilliant: Whittaker was dazzling this week, and it’s the first week (Rosa aside) where I have felt that we have had a fully confident and capable Doctor at the helm rather than a team player who allows everybody else to shine. Maybe Chibnall has just figured out how to write for her now, maybe Whittaker is naturally more confident in the role at this point or maybe I’m just enjoying the quirky northern charm that she brings to the role. There was plenty of Doctorish things for her to do, which really helps like running down corridors, fiddling with equipment, standing up to monsters, figuring out problems, reeling off technobabble, protecting her companions and thinking up insane solutions. It’s a performance with a great deal of energy and conviction whilst still a little vulnerability and humour. There’s not a chapter in the book of Celebrants about her, there is an entire volume. Not that she likes to boast. Actually, she doesn’t really, this Doctor is pretty reticent about boasting about her previous achievements. I thought the panic she displayed about losing the TARDIS, so soon after getting her back, was palpable and necessary. Her reaction to her sonic being eaten was priceless. A Doctor of medicine, science, engineering, candyfloss (??), Lego, philosophy, music, problems, people, hope. Mostly hope. And hope doesn’t just offer itself up – you have to use your imagination and the Doctor has that in spades. That’s a terrific scene for this new Doctor, exploring what she is all about. She strides into a room halfway through the episode and takes full charge for once. I never doubted her. Once she understands the Pting, she thinks up a genius plan to get it off the ship and I love how hairy the solution is. It has the potential to blow everybody up if she’s guessed wrong. The little salute she gives the Pting as she ejects him into space is perfect. 

Graham: Why should there be a silly subplot with Graham and Ryan helping a man give birth, I hear you bemoan? Because it gives them both the chance to share a little comic relief and show their mettle in a crisis, but also it allows for some more touching scenes where they support and encourage this confused young man. Skipping over the fact that it is a man who is pregnant (probably the ultimate PC statement in a season full of them), these were genuinely warm and lovely scenes and they help give the climax a bit of emotional welly.

Ryan: Hooray for the return of the sweet and tortured Ryan from episode one, who in a beautifully scripted moment admits to Yaz how much losing his dad hurt him as a kid. Speaking as somebody who was also let down by his father as a child, I can certain empathise. It’s clear that we are building up to something here and Chibnall’s subtle building of his companions’ lives is one of the best aspects of the latest season. I’m certainly having the feels more for Ryan and (especially) Graham than I ever did for Clara or Bill. They might have been more memorable instigators of action, but they never felt this real. The reason Ryan’s dad left is pretty heart-breaking and finding his mother dead must have killed him a little bit inside. It explains a lot about why he is such an introverted soul. 

Yaz: Marvellously Yaz really comes to life in the second half of this episode, in a way that she hasn’t for me to date. Suddenly she’s active with a staser, struggling with monsters, giving them a swift kick (that scene made me laugh out loud) and enjoying fun and frantic banter with the Doctor. She essentially stands around in the background in the first half of the episode, but her involvement in the climax shows a huge step in the right direction.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘Whole worlds pivot on acts of imagination.’ 

The Good: A fabulous opening on Seffilun 27, a marvellous and memorable location that is brewed up for the purposes of getting the Doctor and company from A to B. I could have spent much more time poking around the scrap planet looking for a story to emerge but we have places to be. I’m pleased we’re kickstarting stories in this way rather than always opening inside the TARDIS. Like the Ghost Monument, these unconventional openings (Moffat used to enjoy doing cuts between many different plots in the pre-title sequences but would generally have the Doctor and companion arriving by TARDIS) which see the Doctor cut off from the TARDIS are rather unusual and enjoyable for it. A good old-fashioned spaceship of the clinical variety; I thought it looked visually impressive and given this is an old-fashioned base under siege story it needed to be for the Doctor and friends to run about in. There are plenty of West Wing style tracking shots to make the dialogue scenes snappier and to show of the design. I’d take this statuesque and gothic android over the android-not android from Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS any day. Suzanne Packer gives a nicely understated performance as Cicero, a character with a lot of hyperbole attached to it and instead of turning her into some arrogant military hero Packer and Chibnall instead make her much more nuanced and modest than that. The sibling tension angle is hardly a new device but as a way of giving both characters depth in a situation it worked on this occasion. I think if one of them hadn’t died, it might have lacked the heart it needed but by the end of the episode these two characters who are estranged have come together in a crisis and realised that they love one another, leaving one of them heartbroken and the other a heroine. That’s a character journey within an hour full of other stuff going on. Bravo. Everyone turns up to meet the star of the show: the Pting! As well as having a ridiculously quotable name, it’s an insanely designed creature that manages to be both cute and sinister (actually I sinister because it was cute). Why can’t creatures in Doctor Who be both? People had a similar problem with the Adipose and I adored them too. It’s different and a bit silly, and I think that’s the real objection. But different and silly works for me in this ultra-benign season. People have a whinge when Chibnall plays it safe and uses giant spiders and people moan when he goes for broke by introducing something bizarre and original like the Pting. I rather liked both. And I loved the fact that he gobbled up the sonic…and that one of the many climaxes of this story involved him eating a bomb and it detonating inside its stomach! Only on Doctor Who…and when I get to say that I know I’m onto something enjoyable. 

The Bad: A female Doctor, lectures on guns, a story that vilifies racism, an ecological sermon and now a pregnant man. I loathe to say this but maybe the Daily Mail is right and Doctor Who has become too PC for its own good? Hahahahaha. Of course not, I’d rather choke on my own intestines than admit that. But all of these left-wing agendas back to back are starting to form a pattern of morality that is a little dictatorial. I’d love next week to offer a really scathing attack on the partition of India with more morally grey areas. On its own there is nothing wrong with the concept of a pregnant man from another species. I have seen it done before on other shows and it’s a harmless bit of fun. It’s biggest crime here is that it is entirely disconnected to the episode as a whole, just there to give Graham and Ryan something to do. As a subplot on it’s nicely acted and written with some rather touching moments. I’m sure there are plenty of young single mothers out there who can empathise with what Yoss is going through. Character subplots like this that eat up so much time belong on Star Trek really. But beyond adding more detail to the the ultra-liberal themes that are running through season eleven like Brighton through a stick of rock, I don’t have any major objections to this sweet bit of character drama. I’m baffled that we did not get any exterior shots of the ship diving through the asteroid field as Eve directs them through. Stinks of a budget saving device to me, classic Who style. Maybe the money is being saved for next weeks trip to India. The self-rebooting sonic smacks me as being a bit of an easy fix. Call the Midwife? Pop culture references really date a show in years to come. But I guess no more than in Bad Wolf or a hundred other RTD references. The avocado gag completely missed the mark for me. Chibnall proved in this episode that he capable of grand moments of energetic humour (Yaz smacking the Pting into the net) but his scripted jokes often fall flat because they are obvious and too simple. The prayer at the end was probably a push to hard towards making the audience emote. Gridlock achieved its grand swelling of emotion during the prayer scene because the entire episode had been pitched at that operatic level. This was a much more contained and quieter piece and so going out on a prayer feels a bit overdone. 

The Shallow Bit: Whittaker just has a look, she’s radiant. I think she’s a stunning looking lead for the show. And just to keep things balanced we also have Tosin is practically edible in some shots (the pep talk he gives to Yoss during his pregnancy in particular). There was a very cute nurse in there too, all

Result: Fans declare WORST EPISODE SINCE…so naturally I rather enjoyed it. I would say this is Chibnall’s most agreeable episode to date, The Woman Who Fell to Earth notwithstanding. For the Pting alone I would give this an above average mark, the horrifically cute little critter was such a quirky addition and led to some brilliant moments of lunacy, exactly the sort of thing I would never expect from a Chibnall script. Doctor Who fans love to talk in absolutes and I’ve seen the Gallifrey Base forums light up with exclamations that this was biggest piece of televisual excrement they have ever seen. In my humble opinion it is hardly that and if it does get a little pedestrian in places there is plenty happening in the myriad of plots to keep the interest focussed and the surprises coming. I’m still confused about the title, though. Perhaps the conundrum is how the five different narrative threads belong together in the same episode. However, in a season of episodes where I have been complaining about the lack of plot, to have this much going on (the Pting, the guy with the baby, the sibling rivalry, the ship out of control and the bomb) is actually quite a relief. I’m not entirely sure that The Tsuranga Conundrum pulled all of these off brilliantly but there was certain enough happening to keep this mid-season episode pacy, active and engaging. Nice design and direction, a Doctor that is fully active and involved, lovely character moments (I always approve of those) and a memorable (for the right or wrong reasons depending on your tolerance to this kind of thing) monster. You could do a lot worse. Chibnall pretty much always scores a win when he is writing human drama but falters when it comes to science fiction but this had plenty of the latter and some of it was surprisingly good. There’s something rather uncynical about his approach to Doctor Who, focussing on the nicer side of the universe, which is actually rather refreshing: 7/10

Arachnids in the UK written by Chris Chibnall and directed by Sallie Aprahamian

This story in a nutshell: Spiders! And they’re bloody massive!

Oh Brilliant: I appreciated seeing the Doctor’s vulnerability at losing her new team. I don’t think it took any thing away from her character to be so visibly upset at having successfully gotten them home. Hartnell used to break my heart in this fashion all the time. Whittaker is stuck with Chibnall’s overly eccentric and unamusing dialogue again for parts of the episode, that really hamper her attempts to bring a natural quirkiness to the character. All that nonsense about purple sofas…it’s just cardboard wit in the wake of what Davies or Moffat would have delivered and a far cry from Marjorie Blackman’s thoughtful dialogue for her last week. He’s trying to hard, which makes it sound like Whittaker is trying too hard. When the Doctor days she is still figuring herself out I got the impression that Jodie Whittaker was too. Rather wonderfully I thought she was at her best when empathising and trying to understand the spiders. It certainly felt more Doctorish than her scenes with Robertson where she should have eaten him up for breakfast but instead just sort of lets him get on with being an idiot. The Doctor mentions several off-screen adventures in Arachnids that sound a lot more memorable than the one we are in – fatal mistake. How like the Doctor to find out that a mega giant spider has killed a man and dangle herself down the hold it came out of. Fearless, that one. ‘A call people dude now’ is exactly the sort of line they should be avoiding or the first female Doctor will just be remembered as a knock off tenth or eleventh Doctor. Does it push to hard at the end to bring the four regulars together? Actually no. But I fail to understand how the episode can be so pitch perfect in its characterisation at points, and so ridiculously unsubtle in others. Regardless, this approach of having the three companions all agree to walk willingly into the Doctor’s life is really novel and provides the episode with a touching sentiment to got out with. This isn’t a Doctor and companions, it’s a true ensemble piece and we haven’t had that feeling since the sixties.

Graham: The best exploration of grief in the new series to date, and the most truthful. Graham’s visit to his dead wife’s flat are some of the most impactful scenes in the 13-year run of the revival to date. When Amy lost her child it was skipped over with appalling silence, when Clara lost her boyfriend it was handled volcanically and soon forgotten. And when the Doctor lost Rose it was dwelt upon with appalling regularity. With Graham’s loss of his wife, we see the true extent of grief in a very personal, intimate way. It’s been subtly handled but ever present, how he has honoured her name, remembered her strengths, protected her grandson. Fortunately losing Grace co-incided with Graham heading off into time and space but now he is home and has to face up to his home without her and in some expertly directed sequences, the best in the episode, we see him haunted by her loss and reminded of what is missing. My friend Jack mentioned that had we all known that Bradley Walsh would have been the highlight of the new series of Doctor Who, we would have all laughed. Actually I figured early on he was going to shine in this season, and he’s proving worth his weight in gold and with a hangdog expression that can elicit tears in me much like the mighty Cribbins. And comparing anybody to Cribbins is a huge compliment.

Ryan: Is this the first Doctor Who season that might come with its own soundtrack? There’re a few moments of character thrown Ryan’s way (mostly to do with his nan and dad and both are marinating nicely and will probably yield results later in the season) but like The Ghost Monument, it’s the moment Ryan is characterised as a proper bloke that really stands out. Pumping the hotel full of ghastly contemporary music, he truly earns his lad status. He might not be the most memorable of companions but he does stick out in moments like this (perhaps for the wrong reasons).

Yaz: So, this was Yaz’s chance to shine as we are introduced to her family…and I didn’t get much if I’m honest. Comparing one period of NuWho with another is inevitable now we have reached our third showrunner and if I am honest there was nothing particularly standout about Yaz or her family beyond ‘they were a normal, humdrum family,’ Not something you could level at the Tylers or the Jones’ (for very different reasons) and especially the Nobles who all stood out as rich, colourful, vivid people with lives no more unusual than yours or mine until they met the Doctor but who came to life because of him. The Khans are a pretty bland bunch; the paranoid father, the working mother and the annoying sister but none of them especially reached out to me as being particularly engaging or worth investing more time in. The biggest difference between the characters in the Chibnall era with those of the previous two administrations is that you could drop the companions from Chibnall’s era into any regular drama and they would fit in just fine. That’s an intriguing approach and very worthwhile but at the same time it means they don’t really match up to a Doctor Who episode, which requires you to be a little more vivid and standout (‘We’re on the bloody moon!’ ‘Quick word with Michael Jackson’ ‘Well isn’t that wizard’). Yaz and her family are all very realistic, and because of that a little forgettable. The implication that Yaz might be bisexual is he most interesting thing we have learnt about her so far, and to be honest that probably shouldn’t be the case.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘Can you believe they are actually moving towards that music?’

The Good: The direction is impressive throughout and I really love the touch at the beginning of the episode where the camera pans low across the various hotel sets like we are watching the POV of a spider. It’s an immediate suggestion of danger from the eight-legged freaks and a visually arresting start to the episode. I can’t help it – the TARDIS landing in an urban area gives me goosebumps every time. It’s the sort of thing that had I seen it as a child I would have been thinking ‘she might be coming for me!’ I don’t suffer from Arachnophobia but I seem to know everybody in the country who does (I would love to have a pet tarantula but everybody would disown me if I dared) and I was contacted by a friend who was watching this episode live who was literally behind the sofa for one week. See my photo attached. It’s the most impressive spiders we have ever seen in the show and blown up to terrifying proportions they truly come across as a quivering, scuttling, predatory menace. In an episode that was aired just before Halloween it is a genius concept to explore. This is how petrifying the cobwebs spun in Planet of the Spiders should have been, victims bound up in sticky webbing and asphyxiated. For some this would be the ultimately dread. Good on the show for going for plain and simple scares again. The detail in the CGI is impressive and I love the fact that there are no attempts to exaggerate the spiders creatively. These are ordinary household spiders, the kind that fall on your face when you’re sleeping and crawl down your throat but HUGE. Kudos to Chibnall for the scene of Kevin being straddled by a spider, looking as though he is being devoured alive and then dragged screaming hysterically to his death wrapped in webbing. It’s the nastiest thing I’ve seen on the show in ages. Also, the scene of Graham being hunted by a spider in the corridor genuinely gave me the shivers. It’s in these moments that the episode shines. `

The Bad: Doctor Who has never exactly been known for its nuanced villains; nine times out of ten they turn out to be money grabbing, ranting psychopaths with inferiority complexes. However, Robertson manages to be in a league of his own as the cod-Trump wanabee that the series was always going to produce. The attack on Trump is advisable, but the way it is handled here makes the whole exercise a little awkward. Chibnall goes for all out attack and the result is a comic book character without any layers and somebody it is very hard to believe in. He’s also one of those characters that is simply inserted into the story to get in the way of the good guys in as irrational a way as possible – there is nothing remotely plausible about his actions for most of the story aside from to provide somebody to hiss at. It’s one dimensional villainy at its most obstinate. Somehow Big Finish made an even bigger botch of this when they tried to do a takedown of Trump in The Silurian Candidate and the one saving grave of this episode is that it isn’t quite as awful as that. Shobna Gulati is a very accomplished performer and she acquits herself well in this episode but she is given the most anaemic of characters to play. Yaz’s mum’s proximity to Robertson means that we are introduced to her in the wake of his appalling and unrealistic actions, which makes her anguish pretty hard to swallow. Jade McIntyre is similarly one-note, often just there to provide plot exposition and knowledge about spiders despite the actress trying hard to infuse some kind of plausibility into the character. Remember the ‘narrows it down!’ sequence in World War Three leading to a face off with vinegar and exploding goo? Chibnall attempts to pull off the same trick here with vinegar and garlic paste, except it’s not funny or particularly clever. In Tooth and Claw Davies creates a setting that turns out to vital to the entire plot, unpeeling layers as the story continues. In Gridlock he pulls of the same trick but on a planetwide scale. Chibnall tries to do the same thing here with the hotel and whilst everything ultimately does make sense (the toxic dump polluting the spiders into epic scale) it is a very simple explanation with a half arsed ecological message tossed in. In a season that is wearing its left-wing badge, this is another lecture to humanity. The Green Death provided an environmental lecture, but it did it in a far more intelligent way, presenting its argument through colourful and engaging characters.

Result: The title kind of tells you everything that you need to know; it’s as generic as a Doctor Who title can possibly get whilst still promising something kind of exciting. And that is exactly what you get; a traditional Doctor Who runaround featuring some really creepy monsters. But let’s not pretend that this is anything more than that, a chance to blow spiders up to alarming proportions and trap them in a hotel with the Doctor and friends. And there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s ideal Sunday night fare the weekend before Halloween. But once again I’m not being challenged and that is something I long for now in this ultra-safe season. Maybe this harmless approach to the storytelling was needed to ensure the ring of changes this season (a female Doctor, a new TARDIS, a fresh team of companions, the emphasis on characterisation) went smoothly. Maybe the latter half of the season will up the stakes in terms of creativity and complexity now the status quo has been confidently shifted. I certainly hope so because an entire buffet of romps would be disappointing. I’ve spoken a bit a bit about how functional Chibnall’s dialogue is and it is really apparent here, where some spice and wit in the script would have really have helped with the (empty) characterisation. If it sounds like I am being hard on this episode then I can counter that with some superlatives; mainly the gross icky spiders who feature in some very memorable scenes, a few that are particularly scary. I love it when the show dares to cut loose and just be a bit frightening and it achieves that in droves here. As usual the direction and music are fantastic and I really appreciated the scenes with Graham visiting the flat and the warmth between the regulars in the final scene. It’s a perfectly enjoyable, competent episode. Sometimes you’ve just got to shove some characters in a confined location and throw something nasty at them. It’s when this episode attempts to be smart that it truly falls down, with an ecological message that falls flat and a Trump parody that is insultingly puerile. Also, the ‘humane’ climax lacks any kind of satisfaction. The spiders are quite brilliant…but they are the only brilliant thing about this. I really like the fact that they are victims, despite their actions. It makes their fate especially unjust. Chibnall has The Power of Three, Adrift, Fragments and Broadchurch series one inside of him. I want him to deliver something like that for his debut season of Doctor Who: 6/10

Rosa written by Malorie Blackman & Chris Chibnall and directed by Mark Tonderai

This story in a nutshell: One of the most essential Doctor Who stories of all time… 

Oh Brilliant: I continue to be impressed with how Jodie Whitaker plays the part of the Doctor completely in control and yet very rarely choosing to dominate the story, instead very generously allowing her fellow actors to take equal weight in a scene. It’s a really interesting choice that sees her displaying all those essential Doctorly qualities (curiosity, intelligence, morality) without having to steal a scene or make it all about herself. Davison did something similar but I think it’s more pertinent here because she is the first female Doctor. Whilst she was quite brilliant throughout, I was most enthralled with her scenes with the villain of the piece because she gets to finally show her teeth in some very nicely scripted scenes that show the Doctor without mercy or patience. In a story that tackles racism, Whitaker’s Doctor displays her intolerance for prejudice but in a way that is very different from her predecessors. Capaldi punched a guy in the face, Tennant would have been spitting blood, Eccleston would have been all sarcasm and condemnation. Whittaker holds back, showing her disgust with gentle comments of acceptance. She never preaches but merely quietly shows her allegiance. ‘I don’t recognise anyone by that description.’ The Doctor thinks the TARDIS isn’t getting her friends home deliberately. Yeah, yeah, blame the Ship. Of course the Doctor has Elvis’ phone number. She’s practically salivating to get into the suitcase in the warehouse. The Doctor does love poking around in other people’s things. Look at the look on her face when she walks away from her first confrontation with Krasko, thoroughly pissed off. More of this please because Whittaker is genuinely impressive. The Doctor wont promise Rosa a golden future when she asks, she wont lie to her like that. To have me expressing an element of misandry in a topical episode seems quite on the nose but I really like the first female Doctor standing up to men so confidently. Why is it misandry? Because I like the fact that she is a strong woman and he is a strong man and that she bests him. When he attacks her physically, she bests him. 

Graham: Our salvation in this episode. A man from contemporary times who not only lacks a racist bone in his body but embraces differences. Graham is a useful reminder of how far we have come. I really like how we are continuing to learn more about his relationship with Grace after her death and how her presence is continued felt in the series. I guess we did take her with us after all, in the people who loved her. I thought her death was a misstep in the first episode but instead it has afforded the show some real heart as those left behind deal with their loss. Graham’s anger is hidden beneath the surface but the more he is exposed to Blake, the less he can hide it behind that charming smile of his.

Ryan: Forget about the subtlety of Martha being chided for the colour of her hands in Human Nature, we’re in a period where you will be struck around the face as a black man for daring to touch a white woman. It’s a shocking moment of real violence in a season that has been pretty muted in that respect so far, showing just how ugly and dangerous history can be for the regulars. It’s a vital scene in its rawness because it shows the sort of peril our friends are in simply for looking how they do. The stakes are immediately high for them.

Yaz: I really liked how Yaz instantly became the police officer when Ryan was assaulted. Very assured, very in control. There’s a suggestion of attraction between Yaz and Ryan which I’m guessing will develop throughout the season. It’s Yaz who points out all the positives that are to come for people of colour, her optimistic nature is a real tonic in an episode that exposes the dark underbelly of society. The fact that Yaz, of Pakistani heritage, has to take her chance at sitting where she wants and wait to see how she is treated says so much about the moral compass of this time period.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘You aint Banksy!’ ‘Or am I?’
‘If you keep sitting there we’ll all have to move.’
‘It’ll get better, you know. Not perfect…but better.’
‘What keeps you going?’ ‘Promise of tomorrow.’
‘Law’s the law’ is a very important line because it shows how people of prejudice can hide behind it to express themselves. 

The Good: The episode wastes no time in exposing the ugliness of racism, with Rosa being asked to get off the bus and head round to the side entrance in deference to her fellow white passengers. It’s treating coloured people as second-class citizens, holding a mirror up to the fact that society considers them different, lesser, inferior. If you don’t do as your told and stay in your place there are guns and violence that will ensure that you do and the law sits squarely in the hands of those who enforce this ritual discrimination. And if you choose to stand up to your betters, you are punished. I got all of that from the first scene, which is a simple scene of Rosa choosing to behave like anybody else and sit in a seat designated for white people. I knew this was going to make an impact on me from the start. Quietly brave, displaying fear and confidence and just wanting to live a normal life like anybody else, Rosa is instantly likeable thanks to the acting talent of Vinette Robinson. It’s not a great showy role like celebrity historical in the past, there isn’t the usual insane hero worship that comes with this kind of episode, which marks this out as something a little different. The director knows exactly what he is doing in moments like the café scene, spreading an air of disquiet for the regulars to be scrutinised in; two white people and two-coloured people talking in a public place. Many many Doctor Who stories attempt to generate one tenth of the tension of the motel room sequences and fail and what I love about this scene is how damn simple it is. A few characters trapped in a hotel and one massive dose of discrimination from a law enforcement officer. It’s unbelievably tense. Maybe Doctor Who was right to scale back on its showiness after all and get back to things that feel real if it can produce moments like this. You might find it preachy but the scene where Ryan and Yaz discuss how racism is still rife in society is necessary to show that whilst we have made some strides, there is still a long way to go. I thought this scene was quite well written actually, refusing to shy away from the word ‘Paki.’ Stormcage and Vortex manipulator, some nice kisses to the past. 

The Bad: I’m not sure we entirely needed the scene with Martin Luther King. Rosa was impressive enough without that added element of hero worship. However, these scenes did give us an insight into her domestic life and flesh out the character more. I sure do seem to be praising the characterisation in this season. That’s because it’s mightily impressive. That big crystal that rises and falls in the TARDIS central column is hilarious.

The Shallow Bit: How dare Doctor Who employ music to make an emotional statement! Like what the hell does this show think it is? That’s the sort of insane bollocks I have been reading on Twitter. Get a grip folks, it’s a song, not a betrayal of a 55-year-old show. It’s a very beautiful song too and taps into the core of what is going on perfectly. Oh, and the Doctor looks fab when she takes off her jacket. Just saying.

Result: ‘It’s worth the fight…’ Doctor Who hasn’t worn its heart on its sleeve in such a topical way in an age. Not since Vincent and the Doctor I would say. Racism is a common theme in the series (the Daleks) but it has rarely been tackled head in such a brutal, unflinching way where the ugliness of humanity is laid bare. I remember seeing the line up of the latest series and rolling my eyes at the sheer PCness of the series these days, trying to cater for every demographic. There was almost an element of racism in that reaction, and I’m somebody who is never more comfortable than when I am in the company of people from all around the world. I begin to see the logic of the decision now because Ryan and Yaz’s colour makes this adventure really personal for them and allows us to connect with both of them for how they are treated. However it was Bradley Walsh’s Graham that made the greatest impact amongst the regulars, proud of his love for a coloured woman and her grandson and struggling to play his part in an important moment of history. The show hasn’t tugged on my heartstrings like that in a long time, as Graham has to fight his nature to make sure something good comes out of an unpleasant moment of humanity. It’s less about holding up high a person from history and more about ensuring that the right events take place. The race against time ending to stop Krasko from interfering with Rosa’s part of history generates a lot of excitement. I was so caught up in the action that the power of the moment itself really snuck up on me. It’s one of the best ever scenes in NuWho, the Doctor realising that they have behave against their natural instincts in order for Rosa to make a stand. I find racism baffling, I was brought up to treat everybody equally and then hopefully everybody would treat me equally. It’s an element of society that gets under my skin and makes me angry. And this episode had the ability to bring something out in me in that respect. Every demeaning act that is issued made me emotional and any piece of drama that can connect me to its characters and theme that personally is definitely doing something very right. A quick word for the regulars who are gelling in a massively engaging way, all four of them had something to offer here but it is the group scenes that impressed me the most. Rosa is beautifully written and filmed piece of drama with plenty to say. I thought it was a truly excellent piece of Doctor Who and the show reclaiming its ability to shock in history: 9/10

The Sontaran Ordeal written by Andrew Smith and directed by Barnaby Edwards

What’s it About: An instant of the Time War brings centuries of conflict to the planet Drakkis, and the Eighth Doctor is there to witness the terrible results. A Sontaran fleet, desperate to join the epic conflict, follows in its wake to take advantage of the fallout. But when Commander Jask is beamed down to the ravaged surface, there is more to his arrival than first appears. Soon, an unlikely champion joins forces with the Time Lord to fight for the future of her world, and together they must face the Sontaran Ordeal…

Breathless Romantic: The Doctor considers the Time War cruel and senseless and can see the knock on effect it is having on the lives of the rest of the universe. The Doctor in this universe is cold, dark and angry and this was the first opportunity to see the usually cuddly eighth Doctor turned black by a conflict that was working its way through the multiverse like a piece of fruit slowly rotting. McGann plays this furious anger so brilliantly (think of his blinding anger at the end of To the Death) and with a really powerful reason to bring on this vitriol, it’s justified and necessary. One thing that he insists upon if somebody travels with him is that they never give up hope. The Doctor realises that you most certainly trust a Sontaran, even one that is one your side.

Standout Performance: It was a bit of a coup to score both Christopher Ryan (always a revelation) and Dan Starkey, so this feels as faithful as an ode to The Sontaran Stratagem could be. Listen to the moment that Sarana realises that she has been lied to and given false hope, Josette Simon is remarkable. It’s the most emotional moment of the set and it gave me goose bumps.

Great Ideas: Why would one Sontaran transport unarmed and unmanned into a wasteland on the fringes of the Time War? That’s a powerful image I would have liked to have seen on screen. The land between the cities is where they fought their bloodiest of wars, the Dead Lands have been poisoned by the city wars, scarred and (almost) lifeless. Jast is a guinea pig, testing a dangerous technology (a Sontaran teleportation device that can give them all access) in a deadly landscape. Ordeal is the worst thing that can happen to a Sontaran; stripped of their rank and sentenced to dishonour. This planet was ravaged in a battle in the Time War, this sector of space was contaminated by temporal flux, which is a type of instability that occurs when the Time War enters real time. Drakkis is a world that has been at war for as long as time is recorded but at the same time it has been at peace throughout its history. The records of the latter where made outside the infected areas on the planet. Depending on where you are on Drakkis, the history is completely different. The Sontarans want to join the Time War and have come to Drakkis to learn some of tis secrets, to find a way in. The Sontarans have an incinerator for the disposal of their dead. Charming.

Isn’t it Odd: I cannot have been the only fan to take a look at the details of this release and find myself double take at the use of the Sontarans. Classic Doctors, Classic Monsters more like. The gimmick here being that this involves the Sontarans during the Time War. Fair enough but it does work a little against the brand of what this set is trying to do elsewhere. I love the Sontarans so I have no objections to their appearance but if this is a love-in for the Russell R Davies era monsters then I would have opted for some of the more memorable creations in that period such as The Trickster, the Beserkers, the Reapers, the Krilliatines, etc.

Standout Scene: Ever wanted to hear a Sontaran get eaten alive? Now’s your chance. ‘A better death than he deserved’, indeed. How they bring down Stenk is very satisfying. He's such a loathsome character that you really want him to get his comeuppance.

Result: A memorable foray into the Time War, The Sontaran Ordeal is a notable end to this box set. Something very odd is happening with the Time War and Paul McGann. Whereas the box sets that have taken place in the war to end all wars have been variable at best (and that’s being generous), he’s had several one-part adventures now that have taken place in other sets in the same period that have been excellent (this and the first River Song box set). So, what are they getting right that the Time War sets are getting wrong? They make the story more personal and emotional, which makes the story you’re listening to much more affecting. They deal with details on the periphery of the Time War, showing the impact of the almighty conflict rather than trying to chronicle the big events. They don’t feature Daleks. And because they afford McGann the chance to display quiet anger and not empty bitterness and sarcasm, he comes across as a dangerously vulnerable man, ready to snap and break because of the atrocities that are going on around him that he can do nothing about. And this story and Rulers of the Universe featured brilliant characters for the Doctor to support. River was a revelation in the final story of her first box set because of her proximity to the man she loves and Josette Simon works wonders with one off character Saran Teel here, showing precisely how a memorable protagonist can be conjured up in relatively little time. The Time War sets are plagued by Bliss, a vacuous companion who has failed to make an impression despite the work of some very talented writers. Simon’s performance and Smith’s writing marry beautifully. Andrew Smith is becoming the most accomplished writer for the Sontarans on audio and to have him (a classic writer) having a stab at an RTD era story is a pleasing anachronism all of its own. Unlike the other stories in the Classic series, New Monsters range I feel that the writer is genuinely trying to explore a fresh angle on the villains of the piece and given this is a race with a 40-year history that is quite an accomplishment. Featuring scenes of the Sontarans and their power struggle away from the main conflict helps as it establishes those characters in their own right, rather than just using them to contrast against the Doctor. The reason behind Jast’s dishonour is surprising and his reaction to the news he is dying is perfect. Big Finish is getting a bit of a reputation for its empty action adventures set during the Time War so it’s nice to be able to report that this is a more psychological affair, getting into the minds of characters and monsters affected. As a result this has more emotional substance, and offers something new: 8/10

Harvest of the Sycorax written by James Goss and directed by Barnaby Edwards

What’s it About: In the far future, humanity has a remedy for everything. Whatever the problem, Pharma Corps has the answer and a designer disease tailored to every human’s blood-type. Zanzibar Hashtag has no need to be sad, scared, stressed, or depressed ever again. That is, until vicious aliens arrive on her space station intent on opening its Vault. What will it mean for the human race if the Sycorax take control of what’s inside? And when the Seventh Doctor arrives on the scene, can he convince Zanzibar to care about her life long enough to help him?

The Real McCoy: ‘You get a sword? I have an umbrella!’ Apps on pads… as far as the Doctor is concerned this is sounds like one of those self-centred periods of human history. Listen to how McCoy asks ‘where am I?’ – it’s the perfect example of how he can sound so unrehearsed and uncommanding at times. He tends to just pop out of nowhere and be rude. He loves it when monsters hiss out ‘Time Lord!’, it probably gives him a sense of importance. Really, he’s just a nice little man in a silly jumper…or that is what he would like you to believe. Would the Doctor use the deaths of innocent people to lecture somebody? You bet your ass he would. The Doctor warns that the Sycorax should get out of his mind because they might not like what they find. McCoy is generally okay in this story but he sounds as unconvinced as the script at time whether to play the story up or to try and try and play it deadly seriously. At times it feels like the Doctor is doing all he can to mock the characters and at others he is quite condemning of this society. It’s an uneasy mix that has been pulled off much better elsewhere.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘You may be able to control humans but you will never understand them.’
‘The worst people in this universe are the ones with no sense of humour.’

Standout Performance: Nisha Nayar is playing our identification figure and our way into this world. It’s a very irritating performance, hysterical and overly emotional (not helped by a script that makes her moany and sarcastic) and someone I was hoping would snuff it relatively quickly.

Great Ideas: Human beings deliberately infecting themselves with viruses that deliberately infect their immune system? Just because it is fashionable to do so? A period where humanity is controlled through medication. Emotions, appetite and the need for sleep, there are hypo sprays for everything. Human beings may be cruel and cowardly but they are also capable of great charm…the Sycorax have never done anything charming in their lives. They’re fierce and frightening but half of it is just magic tricks. They can take over half a planets population like that but it isn’t voodoo, it’s blood control. Decades ago PharmaCorp decided that it made sound financial sense if the medical samples of everyone in the human Empire were outsourced to an off-site facility. A sample of everybody’s blood would give the Sycorax control of every single person in the human race. How appalling that love is now decided by an app that will test whether you are compatible or not. A computer that analyses your future, rather than you simply exploring it. It’s a curious thing, blood control. You shouldn’t be able to make a species go against its own nature.

Isn’t it Odd: I fail to comprehend the point of the (potential) same-sex relationship that is inserted into this story because it is certainly adds nothing that would have happened during a seventh Doctor story on television. It is definitely something that would happen during Russell T Davies’ era on television. So, the inference is that this isn’t a classic Doctor Who story featuring new monsters but a Seventh Doctor story set during the Russell T Davies era, which is a very bizarre and wanky thing to try and attempt. But then coming from a Company that shoved random Doctors and companions together for no better reason than ‘wouldn’t it be fun’ (the Locum Doctors trilogy) is it very surprising? They will milk the New Series for everything they can regardless of a decent creative reason or not. It’s an especially odd addition given one of the women is murdered shortly after their attraction is revealed.

Standout Scene: The twist about PharmCorp selling out humanity to the Sycroax feels like it should be a huge revelation but it is delivered in a very predictable way. And to be honest, it’s a revelation that feels unearned.

Result: And the Classic Series, New Monsters box set crashes and burns with an unusually poor script courtesy of James Goss who fails to do anything innovative or interesting with the Sycorax, a race who probably did deserve a second crack at the whip but in a story that utilised them much better than this. As far as the Sycorax are concerned essentially a re-run of The Christmas Invasion without any of the style, charm and imagination and the voodoo inspired creatures use exactly the same bag of tricks as they did last time. As The Widow’s Curse from DWM comics proved, this is an alien race that relies on a visual presence and if you are going to consign them to audio you need to make sure you have something original up your sleeve to keep them interesting. To have them spouting out threats in their own language is about as much fun as it sounds. They use their electric whips, they utilise blood control, they act in a relentlessly macho way. In every way this is a faithful recreation of the monsters from The Christmas Invasion but when that is all you get and there isn’t any effort to add anything to their mythos you have to wonder why they bothered. There’s a cynical portrayal of humanity in the future, a world where we are reliant on medication and apps (hmmm) and Russell T Davies would have gone to town with a murky notion like that but James Goss (uncharacteristically) fails to exploit the setting to it’s dark potential. As a result of it’s short running time the story is far too abbreviated and reliant on exposition, so before this world is set up it is time to put the toys back in the box again. The performance of the Sycorax characters is tiresome too; shouting, one dimensional characters who exist merely to threaten and kill and because of the constant screeching this could be quite an unpleasant listen at times. Even McCoy is bellowing his head off by the climax, which is hardly his forte as an actor. The Doctor is the only character I found remotely likeable, which was another problem because all of the guest characters were either unpleasant or unrelatable. I felt at a distance from the characters, the story and the monster. Pretty unengaging because of that: 3/10

The Quantum Possibility Engine written by Guy Adams and directed by Jamie Anderson

What’s it about: The Doctor and Ace are locked up. The TARDIS is gone. Things just couldn’t get worse, could they? Of course they could. Things can always get worse — the new President of the Solar System, Josiah W Dogbolter, didn’t get where he is in life without learning that. That’s why he has a Quantum Possibility Engine. It’s a wonderful machine, creating a wonderful Solar System. And with this wonderful device, he can bring happiness and peace to all. Possibly. Either that or tear the universe to shreds, it’s hard to be sure which.

The Real McCoy: Placing McCoy’s Doctor in the role of a naughty trickster trying to wind up Narvin as much as possible really suits him. There’s always been something of the mischievous imp about him. He has copyright on sonic screwdrivers. He always has to fight for an explanation from the CIA. The Doctor is rebranded as a down and out (but pretty chipper considering) cleaner living in social housing. Narvin treats him abominably in this timeline too. I loved the interface Doctor, always ready to help in a tricky situation. McCoy is clearly having a great deal of fun playing his multiple parts. I enjoyed the Doctor and Ace coming together and deciding that they aren’t terrorists and claiming their identities. It’s nowhere near how touching I have seen it done elsewhere but it’s cute how they instinctively trust one another. Once the Doctor emerges at the climax, he sounds more commanding than ever like McCoy has been gagging to get back to some good old-fashioned Doctoring. It’s akin to Matt Smith’s climactic speech in The Pandorica Opens but with more of an emphasis on ‘oh why don’t you just fuck off.’

Narvin: Interference is his job. I don’t think we’ve had a story featuring Narvin in the main range for ages and I cannot think why since Sean Carlsen is a bloody good performer and the character spars wonderfully with whichever Doctor he happens to stumble across. He will do whatever he can to safeguard the universe. Mr Narvin always did have a superiority complex. Ultimately do we need Narvin in this story whatsoever? Not really, but he’s such fun it doesn’t really matter. Having a writer tie together various spin off characters is more fanwank from a company that forces it down your neck on a monthly basis but it’s still a really fun idea.

Aiieeeeeeee: What could possibly have possessed Mel to sell the TARDIS to Dogbolter? He contacted Mel a while ago and her debt with the Speravores was still outstanding, she was classed as a toxic debtor and placed under a judicial death sentence (what Mel?). Because she was perceived as being harboured by the Doctor and Ace there was a death sentence on all three of them. Dogbolter bought the debt and said the only way he would call off the assassins was if Mel handed over the TARDIS and the operational manual. Her interaction with Hob is delightful, mostly because Mel gets to be all bossy and nasty, it’s a side of her character that we don’t see very often (she certainly has a way with spitting out threats). I love seeing her think on her feet this much, apparently making up so much on the spot and using her intelligence. She really is the Doctor in this story. She suggests that she needs him to get out of this mess but she does really well on her own.

Oh Wicked: Did Ace really think that Mel had turned rogue? Surely, they have been travelling long enough to give her the benefit of the doubt. It’s no terrific surprise that it is Aldred who let’s the side down in the ‘playing another part’ department because she pitches it as a slightly bemused Ace and little more. McCoy genuinely embodies a new role in comparison.

Standout Performance: I’m not as massive fan of the comics as some but I did have a period where I bought all of the graphic novels and read them through avidly. I’m fully aware of what an impact Dogbolter had on the strip, a larger than life comic businessman with some very grey morals and a cigar never far from his lips. He was a funny character and one who was particularly adept at kicking off a decent plot because he had his froggy fingers in so many pies. The man of a million voices Toby Longworth provides his voice again and does a fine job of capturing the humour and dangerousness of the character, all wrapped up in a hint of the hearty aristocrat.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘There’s no point in beating about the…Bush.’
‘Who would vote for him?’ ‘The majority. Obviously.’
‘Besides people are easy to control. Most of the time we just massage trends, beliefs, perceptions. People will believe anything you’re willing to tell them as long as you couch it in terms they are willing to accept.’ Ahem, Brexit.
‘War? But that’s so expensive!’
‘Well today really has been the most rubbish day’ – possibly my favourite Big Finish line in a few years. I howled with laughter, especially given who it came from.

Great Ideas: The entire solar system has become a closed temporal system that even a TARDIS cannot enter. Dogbolter has a control station right on the periphery of the bubble. The Speravores entire business empire is built around their ability to understand futures. Combining that with Time technology and Dogbolter has built a bubble of sealed programmable reality. You predict certain events and then ensure the most beneficial decisions occur. The solar system is now entirely under his control. When something happens that he doesn’t like he activates the machinery, rolls back time, re-runs events so they come out in his favour. It’s a closed system, border control insists that nobody is let in or out without his knowledge and permission. Everything within should be possible to control because it is being manipulated entirely from the outside. Scenes being repeated and played out again to Dogbolter’s design from within the scene itself are delightful. Once that idea has been set up Adams can have a lot of fun with it. . Dogbolter trumping the Regent at the climax proves to be a defining moment for his character, always in control, always in charge, always coming out on top.

Musical Cues: Like the other two stories in this trilogy, a mixture of some lovely new cues and Joe Kraemer’s music from Static. This is a story that needs its music on side because the plot is so insanely bombastic and silly it needs the score to support that. It’s mock drama all the way, the more melodramatic the better and it takes the mood of the piece comfortably into comic strip territory. Precisely the idea. Just listen to the music when the Doctor remembers who he is. Delightful.

Isn’t it Odd: I resisted from talking about the cliffhanger at the end of the last story because it was so discordant, so disconnected from the adventure that it polished off that it was barely worth considering as a part of that review. Mel decides to turn rogue, assault the Doctor and Ace and send the TARDIS to President Dogbolter, for a purpose that is completely baffling. I suppose it is an attempt to whet our appetites for this story but it is so entirely without context it just left me scratching my head. Remember when Klein stole the TARDIS at the end of Survival of the Fittest? That’s a riveting lead in to the final story of a trilogy. This bizarre moment of jeopardy at the climax to The Dispossessed is perfectly indicative of these 7, Mel, Ace adventures; feeling as though they are being made up as they go along. After presenting us with the brilliant idea of the locked solar system that can be manipulated by design, Adams fails to do anything truly spectacular with it, mostly resorting to some fun narrative tricks. The story is content to have fun with its ideas but I would suggest these ideas are big enough to run with over more stories, perhaps even a trilogy. It’s a shame to waste something this epic on a story that is so throwaway.

Standout Scene: If anybody wanted to know what a comic strip version of a Big Finish story might sound like then go no further than the end of episode one. With the most melodramatic cry of ‘Kill her!’, a companion who screeches at injustice and the Doctor and co popped off out of existence thanks to some ridiculous piece of equipment, it’s pitched at eleven all the way. Very season 24, in fact. Bonnie Langford has finally come full circle. Fortunately, this is directed with a lightness of touch that makes the material very knowing, and very cheeky. Gloriously Guy Adams doesn’t stretch his imagination at all with the second cliffhanger and we get to go through the same melodramatic schlock at the end of episode two. And Wayne Forester gets to camp it up to the point where he is shitting rainbows. Following that Mel gets to act like the Supremo again, practically abusing the robot, which is all for the good.

Result: Halleluiah! Let joy be uncontained! Break out the bubbly! Let’s have a party! A seventh Doctor, Ace and Mel story that doesn’t suck like an old woman who has lost her false teeth! For a start there’s almost 12 minutes before Ace appears. Okay okay…I’ll stop being facetious and get on with the review. The Quantum Possibility Engine works primarily because it is more like an episode of The Melanie Bush Adventures; where the plucky ginge takes on the scourge of the galaxy with her slightly annoying assistants, the Scots tramp and the Upper Middle Lower Before Hex, After Hex (depending on who is writing her and how Sophie Aldred chooses to play it this week) Bovver Girl. Bonnie Langford dominates and that’s fine by me because she’s as excellent as ever and she gets to do all those Doctorly things in McCoy’s absence (including stand up to the villain, outfox his henchmen and pretend to be a scoundrel) and is clearly having a ball doing so. This is a great daft run-around with lots of over the top characters, a chance to see the regulars in different roles, some tasty ideas that are applied in an enjoyable way and fusion of the many worlds of Doctor Who spinoffery. Dogbolter is a really delightful character, and expertly brought to life but it was his henchman Hob who I enjoyed the most, a robotic side man with delusions of grandeur and facing the full womanly wrath of Melanie Jane Bush. You can’t take any of this seriously but for once you’re not expected to (unlike The Dispossessed which was pitched at a similarly absurd level but was supposed to be a horror) and everybody is working to the same goal, to provide a rollicking good time with a few cheeky winks (the music is particularly on side in that regard). It’s a well-paced four parter with plenty going on and a plot that rests on terrific ideas that allows for some creative development in the latter half of the story (how certain stories replay really made me smile). There are always witty lines (‘What’s the point of having lots of lovely technology if you need several Doctorates to operate it?’) and comic reversals and while the whole thing is about as deep as a puddle, it’s so refreshing to have this TARDIS team get the chance to let their hair down like this, I’m not complaining. Think Time of the Rani, but good. Colourful, outrageous, stylish, clownish. The first story in this run that I would listen to again. One of those stories where the Doctor is practically irrelevant and it really doesn’t matter: 8/10

The Ghost Monument written by Chris Chibnall and directed by Mark Tonderai

This story in a nutshell: Winner takes all…and the Doctor claims her Ship...

Oh Brilliant: Whittaker is finding her feet and I’m pleased to say rather quickly. I like how she doesn’t feel the need to completely dominate a scene how many Doctors of old could (particularly Hartnell, Pertwee, both Bakers and Capaldi) but take control without commanding everybody. Again, it’s very Troughton. It’s lovely to see her in a tight spot on a spaceship, tossing out insults, pulling levers and expressing her knowledge. This is the Doctor alright and never moreso than in a crisis. She’s very sure in her ability to get her friends home, which is something that has run through the series from the First Doctor with Ian and Barbara to the fifth Doctor and Tegan to the Tenth Doctor and Martha. Her mouth runs away with her in the best Tennant and Smith traditions, but with more moments of humanity and less moments of overt humour. She isn’t trying to be the funny women in every scene, despite some witty lines. A lovely mention of Venusian aikido, it appears the show isn’t abandoning the past quite as much as it suggested. I do like the idea of outthinking bullets but the message of ‘no guns’ was overstated. I liked her (very) blunt attitude towards Epzo, it’s the one occasion where she shows her teeth in this story (‘What do you care? You don’t care about anything.’). She doesn’t always have all the answers and she asks lots of questions. The Doctor is back to experiencing adventures rather than being one step ahead all the time. Goodness knows what the Timeless Child is all about, but it looks like even if this season is abandoning the usual spread of an arc across the season it is definitely championing some character arcs (which in this day and age cannot be avoided). I’m not sure about that moment of defeat at the end, it feels very uncharacteristic of this most optimistic of Doctors.

Graham: It’s the most convincingly handled set of regulars in quite some time because a great deal of thought has been given to the idea of what it would be like to find yourself in outer space after living a perfectly normal life. The Ponds and Clara shrugged their shoulders at this stuff and so there was no real sense of going on a journey with them (and besides they were far too caught up in mysteries and arcs to be accessible from the beginning). Graham is especially compelling because he’s just a normal bloke who is trapped in an impossible scenario and is trying to make the best of it. He’s the most natural and the funniest too. Bradley Walsh underplays his part beautifully whilst scoring every laugh. The initial scenes of the three of them acclimatising to spaceships and alien planets are some of the best scenes in the episode. I appreciated the scene where they all discuss whether they can trust the Doctor and simply decide, based on her actions and her character, yes they can. It’s great that there is no manufactured tension between the regulars just to make the story juicy. They all get on very well, and work together very well. It’s a lot harder to write interesting people that get along, it’s much easier to write them in unrealistic conflict. Bravo for taking that approach.

Ryan: I raised my eyes to the heavens as Ryan grabbed and had his ‘Call of Duty’ moment. It felt very out of character given he has been quite a considered young man until this point. However, his ridiculous girly screaming as it all goes horribly wrong is actually the funniest thing in the entire episode and really made me laugh out loud. It’s not exactly Joss Whedon style humour led characterisation (he has an ability to make you laugh with his characters by having them fall flat on their face) but it did warm me to him after this spectacular moment of idiocy. Huge kudos for the scene where Graham and Ryan discuss Grace, the sort of character pause that the show abandoned in the past couple of years. It’s where Chibnall’s writing is at its best too, real people discussing real feelings. He writes people far better than he writes science fiction. Ryan’s dyspraxia gets a mention again, I’m pleased this is going to be a running thread. 

Yaz: The weak link in the regulars at the moment, but through no fault of the actress. Yaz is just waiting for her episode to shine. For right now she is a perfectly serviceable, if unmemorable, member of the ensemble.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘If you’re an interfere then those are excellent nose hairs.’
‘You talk about this stuff far too much. And you don’t talk about it enough.’
‘Don’t ever take them for granted.’ Wise words. 

The Good: An immediate shout out for the visual this year that are standing out much more than in previous seasons and the arresting opening sequence that is told entirely in silence with the spaceship appearing the grappling hook being revealed in the reflection of somebody’s eye is extraordinary. Doctor Who has so often been told (for budget reasons) in words so to see it leaning so heavily and creatively on visual storytelling is refreshing. The spaceship crashing onto the planet is the sort of set piece we have always dreamed of on Doctor Who but the show could never quite afford. Don’t get me wrong Doctor Who has often shown great ambition and bravery in its action set pieces but more often than not the budget conspires to a resulting dodgy model shot or a reaction shot. This looks as though it has sprung from your local cinema, it’s dizzyingly stylishly shot. I rather like the idea of human beings being irrelevant in this sector of space. Too much has been made about the indomitability of humans in the universe, it’s nice to visit somewhere where they are immaterial. Susan Lynch and Shaun Dooley deserve a massive round of applause for bringing Angstrom and Epzo to life so convincingly. I haven’t seen detailed guest characters of this ilk for some time, especially ones played with such down to earth conviction and given this much screen time. These are people I can believe have lives outside of the confines of this story. And Chibnall didn’t go down the obvious route of the two of them being in love with each other, it’s just mutual love/hate friendship all the way. As much as they are merely distraction techniques, the Sniper Bots and wraiths are responsible for some decent looking set pieces. As delaying tactics go, they look pretty. It makes a lot of good sense to set the Stenza up as the new Big Bad of the season and to have one of them appear in the first episode and then to see the devastating effects of what they can do out in the universe in the second sets them up well. It’s just a shame that they were pretty underwhelming in execution. Loving the new TARDIS; it’s a little too early to make any solid judgement but its back to the more organic look of the Tennant era (which I LOVED) and the use of crystal is inspired. I especially love the new walls as you come in. Very Invasion of Time. 

The Bad: If you were excited about Art Malik’s participation you might be disappointed to discover it is little more than a cameo in two scenes that bookend the ‘plot.’ However, he’s as good as you would imagine, but in a very underwritten role. Having the TARDIS revealed as the ghost monument completely the guts the story of its emotion at the climax. The Doctor and friends should have gone along with the racers simply because it was the right thing to do, rather than because the Doctor wanted to score a win with the TARDIS. Imagine the climax had the TARDIS been revealed as the monument with no previous warning or expectation, it would have been a really climactic and satisfying scene. Instead we have to go with the Doctor thinking she has lost and the ATRDIS just appearing out of nowhere. Which doesn’t have anywhere near the same sort of emotional power (which I thought Chibnall was all about). What was the point of the flesh-eating microbes in the water if we were never going to see them in action? Chibnall is such an obvious writer at times – the introduction of the cigar is such an noticeable plot point (can anyone say Hexachromite?) that will be relevant to an escape later in the episode you can practically see a huge arrow on screen screaming IMPORTANT. Moffat was better at hiding this sort of stuff. Sniperbots and sentient wraiths are merely present to add a little tension to a story that honestly lacks any, they are distractions techniques to fill time and give the regulars something to fight to delay finding the TARDIS. Truly, they don’t amount to much in plot terms.

The Shallow Bit: We’ve been through so many title sequences since the show has come back that I’m kind of used to them swapping and changing by now. Whittaker’s is no better or worse than any of the others (except Matt Smith’s series 7 one, fuck knows what that explosion in a rainbow factory was all about); it’s more organic and amorphous and it’s pretty short. Inoffensive I would say, but not a patch on the original Christopher Eccleston one which seemed to suggest the joy of travelling the universe like no other.

Result: Lots of nice details and moments, but an uninspiring storyline. I’ll add a caveat to my previous review with regards to the series; Doctor Who is about people again but that is all it seems to be about for the moment. Challenging plot details need to be added because this was a perfectly serviceable run-around but it had a plot as light as last weeks and it lacked the excuse of having to set up the main characters. As a result, it feature a lot of very good character moments that explored the new dynamics and gave the guest actors plenty to work with but I can’t pretend at any point I was particularly surprised or engaged with what they were going through. It’s a fascinating conundrum, with Moffat I was often dazzled by his sparkling imagination but disappointed by his lack of heart. With Chibnall it seems to be the reverse problem. And heaven forbid if I praise Russell T Davies once again but he did set the benchmark when the series returned with The End of the World; a stunning little piece that married intense character beats, fun, excitement, shocks, terrific creativity and visual splendour. He knew that in the second episode that the show had to show everything that it could offer and in comparison The Ghost Monument is a little neutered. Because as entertaining as this was at times, I truly hope it isn’t all the show has to offer now. And where Moffat presented too much as a mystery (the characters, the individual stories, the arcs) with too many unanswered questions, Chibnall simply presents his ideas straight up with no ambiguity or ability to surprise. A planet that moves, a space race, a ghost monument, a missing TARDIS, deadly water, sentient cloth…these are all decent ideas that are worth building up but the Doctor and her companions merely hop from one set piece to the next with the end game something that is spelt out since the beginning. Countering that you have two brilliant guest characters, very well played and with interesting backstories. And this is an excellent chance to see the regulars gel, for Whitaker to take charge of the show through some moments of danger and for Graham, Ryan and Yaz to step into peril and still want to move on at the climax. It would be remiss of me to fail to mention how beautiful this episode looks and the lengths that the production team have gone to to ensure this show matches the expensive American imports on Netflix. Chibnall said that was his aim with the production values and they have achieved that. The cinematography is phenomenal, the direction stylish and the score refreshingly unhysterical and atmospheric. I liked The Ghost Monument, but there were moments where I was clock watching between all the decent character beats: 6/10