What's
it about: The Master: wanted for crimes without number, across five galaxies.
The Master: escaped his pursuers. Last known location: rural Hexford, England,
Earth. The Master: dead and buried in an unmourned grave, in a lonely
churchyard. Apparently.
An
English Gentleman: It's unusual to enjoy a solo fifth Doctor adventure, usually
he is encumbered with companions and it's rather pleasant to see him left to
his own devices. Amazing how much easier things are without argumentative kids
getting in his way. The Doctor thought he had the Cranleigh cup already. He
forgets the golden rule of an auction house, don't bid too high, too quickly
otherwise everybody thins what you are after is valuable. The fifth Doctor is the
one incarnation I can imagine seeking out the Master for reasons other than to
ensure that he is up to no good, simply to do a good deed by his old friend.
They might have had their differences but there is an element of concern. When
the Doctor attempts to exhume the Master's body he assumes he is the closest
thing to the next of kin to him than anybody on the Earth. The Doctor's TARDIS
was parked down the road in Little Hodcombe, which dates the story very nicely
chronologically (I've noticed that Barnes more than any other writer likes to
position his stories within the TV series).
Batshit Crazy: The Master was handsome once, maybe even
twice. The idea of the Master living out his days in a dilapidated cottage in
the country, a ghoul in a forgotten shell of a building is an alluring one. I
felt sorry for him, relying on this bunch of not terribly interesting kids to
facilitate his recovery. As soon as he appears the story automatically lifts,
he's so unapologetically evil he gives the tale a massive kick in the teeth.
The Master as some kind of cut price Fagin sending his little gang of teens out
onto the streets to do his bidding? I'm not certain that is an exercise worth
investigating. He's desperate and a little scared of being discovered.
Standout Performance: There's little that is convincing
about Sheena Bhattersea's performance, regardless of which character she is
playing. Frankly I lost track of who she was supposed to be after a while and
didn't care to backtrack and find out.
Sparkling Dialogue: 'The clock is a time machine!' 'What
clock isn't?'
Great Ideas: The Doctor is trying to buy an ornamental
grandfather clock that he believes to be the Master's TARDIS. The building that
the Master was holed up in was burnt to the ground and all that was left was a
body and a grandfather clock. The Doctor cannot let the Earth become a
battleground for intergalactic assassins. Why did the Master hide himself away
30 years ago? Was he hiding from assassins? Has he regenerated and in his
post-regenerative state he has forgotten that he was evil (wishful thinking,
Doctor).
Audio Landscape: A stunned auction house crowd, traffic, a
car on gravel, birds wheeling in the sky, travelling in a car, a staser. Do you
think sound designers get thrilled or dismayed when they are asked to bring to
life giant dragonflies that can talk?
Isn't it Odd: Barnes does have a bad habit of including some
very strange, unnaturalistic dialogue at times. A very minor example is the
Doctor opening the glove compartment of a car and declaring 'Gummie sweets!' in
a very casual manner. I just don't know a soul on this planet or anywhere else
in the cosmos for that matter who would say that. And the story is littered
with such examples, moments where characters say some pretty unusual things to
add unnecessary detail or simply to be a little quirky. Some people have a
knack of pulling naturalistic dialogue out of their ass (Russell T. Davies),
others don't (Moffat) but have their moments. Others simply struggle and I
would put latter day Barnes in the third category. By the end of the first episode (with a pretty limp cliffhanger)
the story has already started to falter and singular lack of the Master in a
story that signposts his presence is annoying. The dragonfly assassins really
aren't as memorable as Barnes seems to think they are, they remind me of the
Terravore from Jonny Morris' script but put together with half the imagination.
The Doctor doesn't much care for violence and as such sucks a pair of giant
dragonflies out the main doors? Seems a little out of character. 'Staser not
laser?' 'Taser not staser?' It feels like the 'Brickyard' gags in Trial of a
Time Lord, a joke that is flogged to death. The Doctor makes the kids realise
that the things that the Master promised them were in their power all...they
are a gullible bunch, aren't they? Davison gives an impassioned performance but
this material really is obvious. 'You Will Obey Us!'
Result: It almost feels like a deliberate subversion of the
norm in the Davison era. The Master is usually trussed up in a disguise and
pops up completely unexpectedly halfway through a story. And You Will Obey
works in the opposite way; everybody knows about the Master but he is nowhere
to be seen and the surprise is that he doesn't show up for the length of the
bible. I prefer the original approach. And You Will Obey did little for me
until Beevers did show up, the story proving to be a typically confused,
continuity ridden mess that I have come to expect from Barnes of late. There's
little in the way of engaging characters, plot or dialogue, indeed each of
these things was clunky in the extreme, testing my patience throughout. I
started doing weights halfway through episode two just to give myself something
to do. I realise this is part of a trilogy and plot points here may be vital
later down the line but that doesn't mean that this has to be such snooze fest
in its own right. It reminds me of The Defectors in the locum Doctors trilogy,
a tedious misstep at the start of a three part epic that gets things off on the
wrong note. Realistically, this could happily be cut down two episodes and
start with episode three where all the exposition begins. The whole
Master/Fagin angle with his army of little tykes has potential but it takes
ages to get to the point of the story and the characters are insufficiently
developed to make their liberation from his influence worth investing in. It
should be triumphant but it's written in such an obvious way. Beevers gets the
short shrift, this is supposed to be his showcase in the trilogy and he's
barely gets to appear. The main range has proven that it can pull it socks up
with the recent fifth Doctor, Tegan and Nyssa threesome (oo-er) but it is
stories like And You Will Obey Me that do little that is fresh and interesting
and instead rely on popular villains being written for in ineffective ways to
generate sales. By any stretch of the imagination this simply is not good
enough. Borrow it from a friend: 3/10