Vincent and the Doctor written by Richard Curtis and directed by Jonny Campbell

This story in a nutshell: The title says it all…

Nutty Professor: Whilst I was already convinced this was the episode that my mom finally fell in love with Matt Smith as the Doctor and got over her pining for David Tennant. The almost flirtatious way that the Doctor and the museum guide admire each others bow ties always makes me smile. He’s not that kind of Doctor. Matt Smith seems to revel in any chance to be a bit silly and yet he never comes across as being frivolously so (a far cry from his later seasons) and so the energetic way he dashes around the courtyard waving the pole around to attack the invisible creature is quite the delight. He takes absolute delight in tossing old junk out of the way so he can look for his invisible alien detector, which apparently was a gift from his Godmother. His experiences are that surprisingly there is always hope despite all the terrible things that he has seen. Fascinating to see that whilst the Doctor is confident at confronting whole armies (such as he will in a few episodes time) but when it comes to one mentally ill man he is awkward and shy. The Doctor is armed with over confidence, a briefcase and a small screwdriver. His camp little dancing to the soothing music of the TARDIS makes me want to kiss him. When Paul Cornell talks about Sylvester McCoy being all sweet and retired and so easy to fall in love with (something I occasionally saw) I apply exactly the same description to Matt Smith in this episode. I'm not sure there is another moment where he is more comfortable playing the Doctor and it's the most unconventional episode of all.

Scots Tart: The Doctor is being super nice to Amy at the moment and taking her exactly where she wants to go and she smells a rat. Naturally. Amy’s one moment of ‘can't she get swallowed by a Bandril?' (trust me to only have one in an episode is a rare and treasurable thing) was when she told Van Gogh and the bar owner to both shut up and she will buy the drinks. It's that smug, superior tone that grates and the way she thinks she can talk to anybody the way she likes. But as I said, it's just one moment in an otherwise faultless episode for the character. For the most part she is desperately sweet and sensitive. See - it can be done! She knows that Vincent will take his own life but when the Doctor puts it into words she cannot handle it especially when he says it will be in only a few months time. It's one of those times when your foreknowledge of the future is extremely painful. Amy suggests that she is not really the marrying kind, another subtle touch of the arc not getting in anyone’s way. Amy looks genuinely pained that they didn’t manage to save Vincent from committing suicide and the Doctor’s attempts to cheer her up are some of their nicest moments together. I don't think I ever liked Amy more than the moment where she sheds a tear for her lost Rory without even knowing who he is.


Earless Artist: It's one of those freak occurrences that the person who happens to be the spitting image of the historical character just happens to be the best person for the part. The year before his death is described as ‘the most astonishing outpouring of art in history.’ In his lifetime he was a commercial disaster, selling only one portrait to the sister of a friend. The pre-credits sequence gives you everything you need to know about Van Gogh before we meet him and taps into your sympathies for the man effortlessly. He’s come to accept that the one person who is going to truly appreciate his paintings is him. You forget that Van Gogh doesn’t know how revered his artwork will be and the Doctor and Amy’s horrified reaction to him daubing white paint all over a picture to draw the creature really brings it home. Sunflowers are disgusting and a challenge, this man is truly a genius. With the Doctor he has fought monster together and won and on his own he fears that he will not do as well. To use your pain to portray the magnificence of the world is Vincent Van Gogh’s gift to the art world and to the human race. This is an extraordinary study of an extraordinary man, one that refuses to shy away from the horrors that he faced in life and celebrates his achievements despite his condition. Curtis might not seem like a natural fit for Doctor Who but this is one of the finest Matt Smith episodes.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘Every time I step outside I feel that nature is shouting at me! Come on! Come on! Come on…capture my mystery!’
‘Is this how time normally passes? Really slowly. In the right order.’
‘Will you follow him?’ ‘Of course!’
‘Be good to yourself and be kind to yourself.’
‘That strange wild man who roamed the fields of Provence was not only the worlds greatest artist but also one of the greatest men who ever lived.’
‘I still can’t believe one of the haystacks was in the museum. How embarrassing.’
‘The way I see it every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things but vice versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant. And we definitely added to his pile of good things.’
‘The ultimate ginge.’

The Good Stuff: Whilst much of the imagery in this episode is striking, I can think of few openings that top the crows flying from the glowing corn as something invisible approaches the camera for gripping you instantly with visual beauty. Bill Nighy is one of those actors that you always hope will wind his way into Doctor Who one day but never think he will. He’s a joy in this episode simply because he makes such an impact with very few scenes, that’s the skill of a good performer. The cat on the cobblestones as the TARDIS materialises in the alley is one of my favourite TARDIS landings ever. The set designers should be extremely proud of recreating the café exterior with such an eye to detail. Is the accordion music in the bar the Doctor’s theme for the season? Curtis cutely dresses up the first Krafayis as a psychotic episode of Van Gogh’s before the Doctor realises there is a genuine threat present. That's a genius way of adding a monster to the story and show the audience the sort of episodes that Van Gogh is experiencing. Watching these two great men being led a merry dance by this invisible creature is a joy to watch, the show pulling off farce (my least favourite form of comedy) with real style. It's lovely that with all the technology at its disposal Doctor Who of this day and age will still plump for invisible aliens (it's not a budgetary thing because they still have to go to the lengths of creating the beast in CGI and the physical effects probably cost more anyway) and watching it pursue the Doctor through the streets is surprisingly tense (Blair Witch aside, I always love dramatic handheld camera work). Plus Amy turning up around the corner makes the audience laugh and jump which is always a great feeling. I’m not sure what is more striking; the sunlight streaming into Van Gogh’s bedroom or the truly stunning image of Amy surrounded by sunflowers. Both are beautiful images. We are reminded of the tragic events at the end of the last episode in a very delicate moment showing how subtle this seasons arc can be handled if necessary. The Doctor and Amy in the confession box is another exquisitely lit scene. Doctor Who is not the sort of show that discusses the effects of depression and there is a very telling moment where the Doctor tries to and Vincent tells him to shut up – the episode has already shown us in some very powerful scenes that Vincent is unstable and it doesn’t need to push it further (like most shows would) in dissecting his apparent madness. The double twist of discovering that the Krafayis is blind and then its accidental murder completely turns the simple plot of its head and guts the viewer. But it is all done in a very subtle manner that doesn't bash the sentiment over the viewers head as some episodes can. Seeing the world through Vincent’s eyes is sheer visual poetry and it will be a long time before the series offers anything that potent again. Even the touch of the TARDIS covered in posters that have burnt off in the vortex is perfect. It feels like everybody is working really hard to make this episode as visually and emotionally memorable as possible. The ending made me choke with tears when I first watched this. Simon and I were sitting on the sofa with tears streaming down our faces hugging each other with the sheer magic of it. Can you think of a more amazing gift the Doctor could have given Vincent than to realise that his work would eventually be hailed as the work of a genius? It's hugely uplifting and beautiful and Curran’s dizzying reaction is captured to perfection.

Result: Vincent and the Doctor is a truly sophisticated episode of Doctor Who and one of the few moments of television that actually brought tears to me eyes. It's awesome than an episode with such gorgeous character drama and one that studies schizophrenia with such sensitivity still has time for a giant invisible chicken roaming the streets of Paris. Visually it is one of my all time favourite Doctor Who stories, every frame has been exquisitely lit and designed to provide a feast for the eyes and some of the imagery is appropriately as dazzling as a Van Gogh painting itself. Matt Smith and Karen Gillan give their best performances of the fifth series and Richard Curtis treats the pair of them to some wonderful dialogue and interplay.If this is how likeable this pair can be together...why hasn't it quite clicked like this until now? But the star of the show is Tony Curran who takes a potentially unsympathetic role and creates a Vincent Van Gogh who is entirely credible and great fun to be around and before the episode he will have broken your heart. The intimacy and chemistry between these three characters is extraordinary. Some people might not like this slower, more character based drama but I found it intoxicating and with the Angel two parter it is my favourite episode of series five: 10/10

The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone written by Steven Moffatt and directed by Adam Smith

This story in a nutshell: Prepare to be scared...

Geek Chic: Astonishingly this is Matt Smith’s first performance but you would never be able to tell because he attacks the role with such confidence. It's easy to see why he was so daunted by such a demanding script as his first to film, it's possibly the most dynamic take on his character in the first year and he has great swathes of dialogue to learn. What an initiation. This is the eleventh Doctor that I fell in love with in series five, the older man in a younger mans body. Not quite knowing what to do with his gangly arms and legs, a burning intelligence raging inside and a terrific sense of childishness that informs his every move. It's a far cry from the clown he would evolve into in series seven.

Museums are how the Doctor keeps score. His theft of the home box is hilarious…he looks like a little pixie skipping through the Archive back to the TARDIS. I love what a total child he can be at times – ‘They’re just blue boringers now!’ he screams, stabbing at the console in frustration. I'm sure Moffat was just being facetious but I rather love the idea that the Doctor fails to put the breaks on the TARDIS just because he loves the vworp vworp grinding of the engines. His detailed atmosphere check consists of the Doctor sticking his head out of the door. That's real science, you know. The Doctor is very wary of River and her knowledge of his future, like all Time Lords he is wary of anybody having as much foreknowledge as him. He's not used to being at a disadvantage like that. I really like how nasty he can be to Amy at times, she's one companion (like Tegan) who needs putting in her place more than others but it's also nice to see him showing his teeth. Again that would all but drop away come his final season. He’ll never get around to saving all of the human race because they spread like rabbits. Standing in the background pretending you are busy whilst listening to every word of your friends talk about you - who hasn't done that before? There is another mention of how the Doctor flies away from events and leaves the survivors behind to deal with the consequences. It's easy enough to be the magician in the blue box who gets to save the day and bugger off at the end. He manages to undo Amy’s conditioning by biting her hand - wonderful! If you’re smart you’ll never put the Doctor in a trap and he's got a stunning speech to explain why. It's when he is at his most dangerous. I always admire an actor in a lead role like the Doctor when they are prepared to shirk off their cool and show real fear which is precisely what Matt Smith does when the Angels manage to catch up with him and grab his collar. It's never a good thing when the Doctor is this visibly terrified. His ruthlessness towards Amy extends to being honest about her about her impending death. There is a moment in this story where the Doctor realise what has happened to Amy’s parents and why she is living in an empty house alone – he suddenly realises that time can be rewritten and he pauses to consider the consequences. There's clearly some serious shit brewing around this girl. The scenes between the Doctor and Octavian at the moment of his death are quietly very powerful because the Doctor knows he cannot save this man. Probably my favourite moment of the entire story for the Doctor (and there are many, many great moments for him here - Moffat is clearly going out of his way to make the character shine) is his shockingly vicious attack on River when the going gets tough. He really can bit of a bastard when he wants to be. I would have loved to have seen that side of him nurtured a bit.

Scots Tart: Oh Amy. How I loathe thee. Series five was, however, expertly woven around her character and there is no denying that she is an essential component of the fabric of what was easily Matt Smith's finest year on the show. My problem at this point was that she was still a virtually unknown character whereas Rose, Martha and Donna were open books with lives, families and friends. What I didn't realise what that the crack in the wall in her bedroom had swallowed her life up - that it was deliberate obscurity. It felt at the time that Moffat had simply forgotten to fill in the details and the result was something of a vacuum, a character that was enthusiastic to travel with the Doctor and with plenty of attitude but who felt only half formed. Even when that life is handed back to her in The Big Bang it isn't as though we got to experience much of it beyond that episode. If Moffat was trying to ditch some of the soapier elements of the Davies era he needed to make sure that his companions were still people with substance as a result. She was promised a planet and will not let this opportunity slip through her fingers. Amy smugly takes the piss out of the Doctor and River’s relationship, the irony being she's talking about her best friend and her daughter in a perverse way. Amy is really put through the wringer throughout this two parter and it's the first time that I have felt any great sympathy for her character (whereas the younger Amy I clicked with in seconds). The sequence where she is trapped in a room with an Angel emerging from the screen is downright terrifying and Gillan plays it to the hilt. Gillan’s mad Ohica eyes are perfect to trap an Angel inside. She manages to pause a recording of an Angel, surely the most obvious thing to do under those circumstances and yet all and sundry act as though she has done something truly spectacular. Her funniest line of the whole year is ‘have you got space teeth?’ She doesn’t want the Doctor to die with her. Imagine having to keep your eyes shut and circumnavigate the Angels? Brrr. As a time traveller the way she looks at the universe will change.

Enigma: The return of River Song was inevitable as soon as Moffat's name was confirmed as showrunner and this is easily her finest appearance in Matt Smith's run. After this I was sure she would be an occasional special feature in the show. Little did I know she would come to dominate, especially in series six. I love that for River this takes places after the climax of the season – Moffat is always getting us to look at things in new ways. River looks gorgeous in her dinner dress and trusts the Doctor implicitly to jump out of an airlock and assume he will be there to save her. ‘I’m going to be a professor one day? How exciting!’ The Doctor doesn’t know who or what she is, it’s too early in his time stream.  She’s a sucker for a man in uniform. She’s killed a man, a good man, a hero to many. ‘You’ll see me again soon when the Pandorica opens…’ Lots of clues are put in place to power the seasons to come. I personally wish that Doctor Who hadn't become as obsessed with her as it did but there were certainly moments where the awesomeness of the character shined through. And this was one of them.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘Wait until she runs. Don’t make it look like an execution.’
‘Like I said on the dance floor…you might want to find something to hang on to.’
‘There’s a difference between dormant and patient.’
‘We’re in the middle of an army! And its waking up…’
‘A forest in a bottle in a spaceship in a maze, have I impressed you yet Amy Pond?’
‘There’s an Angel in her mind!’
‘River Song I could bloody kiss you!’
‘You. Me. Handcuffs. Must it always end this way?’

The Good Stuff: The first disorienting swing around a sunny park is hypnotic and a really good sign of the stunning direction that was to come. It was an overused trope in later years (especially in series six) but Moffat's love of kick starting a story with a myriad of locations begins here and it is probably the best example. The leap to 12,000 years later certainly grabs the attention. Old High Gallifreyan are words that can burn stars, raise up Empires and topple Gods and River Song writes 'hello sweetie..' This teaser is inventive, exciting and beautifully directed – how will they ever top this? I really liked the idea of the Delirium Archive being set up inside of a church, it gives the scenes an impressive look. The spaceship crash atop the church is worthy of a movie, especially that pan through the flames to the ruins of the monolith…who said the budget had been cut this year? What are those creepy screaming birds on the beach? A lovely detail. Even simple effects like a transportation beam is given a new twist here, it looks like people arrive in a sandstorm. I remember the day after this aired a friend of mine at work was left traumatised by the scene where the Angel leapt from the TV to grab at Amy. She was not amused when I taped a picture of an Angel to her monitor and left it there for her to discover after lunch. Gillan plays it for real and the editing is razor sharp, the music perfect. Monsters that can reach out of the TV is not an original one but it hopefully is for the kids (as I have only ever seen it done in movies that aren't suitable for little ones) - there's something of Robert Holmes' glee at frightening the kiddiewinks in Moffat. The most heart racing moment is probably how we cut from an Angel with blank eyes staring outwards to a snarling creature with bared teeth and raised claws. That which holds the image of an Angel will itself become an Angel…that's quite a sophisticated idea for the kids to get their heads around but absolutely terrifying for the adults. The Aplands temple is another gorgeous visual; immense and epic, littered with statues, tunnels and shadowy hiding places. It's the perfect place for nasties to plant their attack. There’s even some room for good old-fashioned secondary characters being menaced in tunnels because where would Doctor Who be with a bit of menace in the corridors? I foresee messy divorces for the Aplands if their heads want to part. What is it about a disfigured human face that fills me with dread? The half melted Angel faces plagued my nightmares for weeks after this was broadcast. Just when you think this story cannot get any more butt clenchingly terrifying somebody suggests turning off the torch with the Angels advancing. Moffat has always been the master of epic ideas and the thought of the Angels trapped in the Maze of the Dead for centuries, slowing losing their identity and their minds, is a memorable example. Bob on the intercom haunts the Doctor (‘I died afraid in pain and alone’)...the Time Lord hates being reminded that he failed to save somebody. Flesh and Stone opens on a suitably disorienting moment, the Angels reaching up to the characters standing on the ceiling. Moffat is truly trying to impress with this one. Hurrah for the genuinely nightmarish images of the Angels lit up by gunfire flame. A forest inside a spaceship? I'm running out of ways to describe how cool this story is now. How distressing is the Angels laughing? It's something that should never be heard. Adam Smith’s staging of the reveal of the crack in time over the Doctor’s shoulder is faultless, a very important plot point, captured dramatically. I love the poetic image of the Angels reaching out for the end of the universe. One day in the future there will be a big bang so cataclysmic it will cause the cracks in the past and future - what on Earth is Moffat alluding to? He's promising far more than he can deliver but what a promise. Octavian's death is surprisingly graphic for Doctor Who, an Angel with its arm fixed around his neck and if the Doctor turns away it will be snapped clean off his shoulders. Moffat never shies away from the horror of that and it is to his merit. The Angels only kill you; the time energy will snuff you out of existence. Wow who would have ever thought the Angels would be the lesser of two evils? The two plots meet at the conclusion (the Angels and the crack) and cancel each other out which is typically efficient Moffatt plotting.

The Bad Stuff: I hate The Streets and anything that reminds me of their music is unfortunate. The music after the title music is so loud it actually obscures the dialogue, a common Murray Gold feature that seems to have gotten worse as the series has continued. ‘Ooh Doctor you sonicked her!’ – sometimes I really want Amy to fall down a well never to return. I personally don't think that we should have ever seen the Angels move. They lose something of their USP and become any other bog standard Doctor Who creature. It doesn't help that the scene in which they become mobile is the one moment of duff direction in the whole piece, lacking conviction. The last scene is a subject of much controversy and I just want to add my tuppence. I don’t like it. It feels tacked on and ends a perfectly fine story on an appalling note. It's not that somebody wants to shove the Doctor on a bed and have their end away with him because I’ve had some very naughty thoughts myself about David Tennant and Matt Smith! Nope if the Doctor wants to get his end away I don’t mind…the fella deserves a bit of loving considering all the work he’s put into the universe. Its Amy’s characterisation that bothers me. It’s actually made worse the more we get to know her. Rory is such a lovable loser you cannot help but hiss at her for even daring to throw away what she has with him. Let's not beat around the bush, she is attempting to have a fling on the night of her wedding because she thinks she has found something better. What an ungrateful cow. Rory should kick her to the curb at the slightest hint that she is doing the dirty. And the Doctor should kick her to the curb because she tried to make him the instrument of her infidelity. It appals me to see a Doctor Who companion behaving in such a way because (I'm going to go all Mary Whitehouse here) it is sending the wrong message to the kids at home. The way she continues to play the two men throughout the season is a dirty stain on a pretty decent year of Doctor Who. This was the point where it was over between Amy and I.

Result: My favourite story of season five, Steven Moffatt has written a near-flawless script which is is skin crawlingly scary and epic in scope and packed it full of memorable characters who all get a moment to shine. It's one of the only times he has managed to pull off a really strong narrative and a substantial character tale during his era. Adam Smith deserves a medal for his avant garde direction, the production is approaching movie standard and there are plenty of delicious visuals and set pieces to devour. The atmosphere is tense and frightening; my friends daughter was traumatised by the first episode, literally petrified. Her mother was left in quite a state too. Few Doctor Who stories are as dynamic was this without jettisoning their integrity and it manages to feel traditional (dark tunnels, ship under siege) and uniquely NuWho at the same time (exquisitely realised, achingly emotional). This is the point where the bubbling arc plots are at their most mouth watering and I don’t think the season is this interesting again until the finale. Moffat promises is stacking up his mysteries and promising an awful lot. That he fails to deliver isn't a problem at all here because (like the early X-Files seasons) it feels like we are riding the wave of a genuinely exciting and mammoth arc. If they don’t rival their initial appearance the Angels are consistently innovated throughout and provide more than enough chills to justify their return. Suitably, this story also showcases the eleventh Doctor at his finest. If only we could jettison Amy and replace her with a human being for a companion we would be in perfect shape. What a shame the bolted on final scene should leave me on such a sour note after so much richness: 9.5/10 

The Husbands of River Song written by Steven Moffat and directed by Douglas McKinnon

This story in a nutshell: A head on a robot, a romp with River and tying up of loose ends...

Indefinable: There is a huge difference between the old git having a mid life crisis of series nine and the ageing romantic that appears in Husbands and that difference is I wasn't hoping my sofa would swallow me up. Capaldi can be charm personified if he wants to be and he gets the chance to beguile his audience in the Christmas special in a very subtle and attractive way. Which is infinitely preferable to big tanks and electric guitars. When he's seen to be having fun and enjoying peoples company, this Doctor shines which is especially odd given this incarnations beginnings and as total wanker. Even the Doctor has to surrender to the absurdity of this story and laugh his ass off, practically rolling about in the snow as he does. It's a delirious sight. In one of those moments when you wonder why it hasn't been done before the Doctor gets to play the awestruck visitor to the TARDIS and have a moment of astonishment. I think he enjoys it a little too much and I was quietly delighted in my mildly drunken stupor. Capaldi is just having a blast with this adventure, isn't he? It's like he's leaning back and stretching after a season of propping up some less than stellar episodes.

Hello Sweetie: A miracle has occurred. Not only does Alex Kingston appear to be ageing backwards (because River genuinely looks younger than in series five, six and seven and about ready to head to the library) but I have honestly never found the character of River Song as palatable as I did here since her very first adventure. Moffat has done both the character and actress a huge service in my eyes, he has almost single handedly redeemed her after taking her on an overcomplicated and highly smug tour of the Doctor's life in Matt Smith's time on the show. Here I thought River was smart, silly, warm and likeable - the last word being especially important. He didn't oversell her sexuality or undersell her intelligence. And her rapport with Peter Capaldi is to die for. Halfway through this story and I was thinking 'couldn't we have had two season with these two rather than the Doctor and Clara?' which is not something I ever expected to whisk up in my head. She brings the smiler out in the Doctor, the romantic. Without there being any sense that they might tear each others clothes off any minute, there is a romantic chemistry between the pair of them that warms the heart. Like the weight of their history together binds them and keeps them close. Does Alex Kingston deserve a place in the titles? Of course she does. Regardless of what I think of the character, she has certainly done her time. She's a fixed point in Doctor and that should be recognised. The Doctor's assertion that to make sense of River's timeline requires a flow chat is amusing, simply because I'm sure many fans have tried (and succeeded) to build one. There was a wonderful, wonderful moment when River rants about the Doctor not being present or giving a damn about her where you really felt how much she loved him because she could be honest knowing he wasn't there...and then realising she has been with him all the time. It's glorious. And it's the best 'hello sweetie' of the series and it isn't even delivered by River.

Sparkling Dialogue: 'My entire understanding of physical reality has been transformed!'

'The crash of the Byzantium! Didn't they make a movie of that?'

'You don't expect a sunset to admire you back!'

'I'm an archaeologist from the future. I dug you up. See you in 400 years!'

The Good:

* Whilst I have no idea why other planets would celebrate Christmas in exactly the same way that we do (I mean if you think about the for a single second it makes no sense, even if it is a human colony) I have to admire the way that Mendorax Dellorans commit to the idea. And since I'm something of a Christmas whore I couldn't help but be swept up in the general yuletideness of the opening scene, with warming lights bouncing off snow, icicles hanging from the TARDIS and a gorgeous carol to guide us into the story. The vertiginous swept into town is simply delightful.  Although I swear that is the same hidden street that Ashildr did her alien smuggling in.

* It's nice to see the other half of the Little Britain duo stepping into the Doctor Who given that both David Walliams and Matt Lucas have been staunch supporters of the show ever since it returned to our screens. If I'm honest, Willaims got the stronger role (or at least the meatier one) but Lucas does acquit himself well here, essentially playing the same bumbling fool he delighted with in Alice in Wonderland and The Wind in the Willows. He's a fun, goofy performer and whilst I would have liked to have seen him get his teeth into something dramatic just to see what he was made of, comedy is what he is known for so a comic character he plays. I think that's fair. And if there's ever a space for a daft buffoon in a bobble hat in Doctor Who, it's Christmas.

* I love it when a story switches location half way through to provide some fresh sights and the contrast between Mendorax Dellora and the Harmony and Redemption means that the story suddenly takes a massively different aesthetic. It's the Titanic all over again, stylish and mannered with a host of weird looking aliens. Like Time Heist, Douglas McKinnon is very comfortable bringing affluence to the screen and the surroundings are fashionably covered. Here we're introduced to Flemming, a gloriously slimy Maitre d' who dogs the Doctor and River's steps for the rest of the episode. I love his idiosyncratic design and the performance. Whilst the Hydroflax stuff wasn't really to my taste, this mix of double crossing and one-upmanship was far more palatable, if still not exactly vintage Who.

* It's not until we reach dinner with the star crossed lovers that we realise the significance of this meeting between the Doctor and River. Her diary is nearly full and the Doctor would have known exactly how long that diary would need to be to cover all of her adventures. That means it's time to go to the Library. And the mere thought of The Silence in Library and Forest of the Dead makes me all of a tingle. Suddenly I was aware the story was going to put the final piece of the jigsaw into place and my interest perked up considerably.

* The representative of the Sholl ripping his head in half to remove payment. The most jaw droppingly gross thing the show has done since Halpen scalped himself in Planet of the Ood. Yum yum.

* A time traveller (or at least somebody who is close to a time traveller) reading a book that lists the best exploding restaurants so you can eat for free. Now that's Douglas Adams. SF creativity at its finest.

* Let's not stress this enough because I have spent the last five years criticising Steven Moffat's inability to turn out decent characters that aren't just there to service the plot. The final scene of The Husbands of River Song is extraordinarily good, genuinely moving and driven by awesome characterisation of both leads. Like the scenes between the Doctor and Davros in The Witches Familiar, Capaldi comes along once a weight of history has been built and enjoys magical moments with these characters because of it. But the performances, writing and music are just beautiful and I was like putty in Moffat's hands. In a methodical fashion that reminds me of Revenge of the Sith, it all slots together with established history as perfectly as possible. Every once in a while it all comes together. It might not happen as often as I would like these days...but that doesn't make it any less special when it does.

The Bad:

* I'm not sure what I think about the whole Hydroflax storyline. I think I have come to accept that the Christmas specials (on the whole) are going to be a bit of fluff (which is why Last Christmas surprised me by having so much character resonance) but this is daft science fiction on a level that I'm not even sure Douglas Adams would sink to. Hmm...maybe he would, but it would be a lot smarter and the lines would hit you between the eyes. I'm not entirely sure what Moffat is trying to do or say with the storyline, it is simply a lot of romping about with a giant robot that removes heads from peoples bodies and utilises them as mouthpieces. It's not even a story with a beginning, middle and end, it just introduces the idea and then runs around on the spot with it and then dumps it when the River storyline takes over and gains dominance. Hydroflax is basically a way in for her to meet up with the Doctor again and to end up where she needs to be to meet him for the last time. He's a plot device, not a character. And that sums up Moffat's approach to characterisation rather neatly (although strangely he compensates amazingly in Husbands in the last ten minutes). Is it especially funny? The idea and the visuals are quirky but not especially hilarious (although Greg Davies' decapitated head chatting away on a table cannot help but raise a smirk). Does the idea have any intellectual merit? Not at all. Would it turn people off who don't like science fiction? Definitely. Is the plot deliberately a little naff so the Doctor/River relationship can take centre stage? Moffat stated he wanted some fun after a very serious season gone by and he does achieve that aim. It's frothy and enjoyable but in no way necessary. If it wasn't for the last ten minutes of Husbands, I don't I would revisit it again for a long time. In fact I have only seen the episode through once and I've watched the last ten minutes several times since. The Hydroflax robot is so rubbish he is defeated by a number of online bank security firewalls.

* 'Are you thinking? Stop it, you're a man! It looks weird!' Sexism is sexism, even when it is pointed at men. Still it's nice to know Moffat goes both ways.

* I learnt something interesting about Douglas McKinnon's direction in this episode that I hadn't considered before. I had always thought that he had grown into his role as a director of Doctor Who, that with each story he had found his confidence. But I don't think that is the case at all now. I think he responds differently to the sort of material he is directing. Subtle horror and character drama are his forte. Action and adventure, not so much. Which is why The Sontaran Stratagem and Cold War are quite awkwardly brought to the screen whereas Listen and The Power of Three work much better. His action sequences in Husbands are a joke; confused, hysterical and out of control. I couldn't figure out what was happening with all the reaction shots and screaming. It's the sort of material that makes you wonder what is on ITV. Husbands occasionally tips over into farce (my least favourite comedy sub genre) and it's during the moments when I think the script is trying to be dramatic.

* Familiar elements ahoy: Christmas obviously and the countless River Song references and tying up of her plot, headless people and monks, a restaurant turned sinister, a head in a bag being tossed around the TARDIS Anybody who says this is Moffat on autopilot has a point.

* Moffat couldn't one last bit of timey wimey nonsense, could he? The Doctor couldn't just take River to Derilium. Oh no. He has to arrange for the restaurant to be built first. I suppose it gives the diamond a purpose.

The Shallow Bit: Ramone. Hubba hubba.

Result: Have we reached a standard of writing worth of Peter Capaldi's talents? Don't make me laugh. And I'm long past thinking that he will be handed the sort of scripts his talent justifies on a regular basis. However if you can get past the general retardedness of the central narrative of The Husbands of River Song, there is a great deal to enjoy here. It's not a patch on Last Christmas but it does have a thread of sentimentality to it that enveloped me and left me feeling as though I had been embraced by a close friend in an intimate moment. When the Robot Matt Lucas lumbered out of the spaceship to comedy music going 'naaah I don't like this!' I could hear the hearts of po-faced Doctor Who fans breaking and Christopher H. Bidmead having a conniption fit. What Husbands has that elevates it high above it's naff narrative (Naffative? Maybe a little too Pip'n'Jane) are the performances of Peter Capaldi, who, as ever, is waving a flag for the series and Alex Kingston and together they perform a magic trick. They turn this bizarre pantomime into something extremely watchable, their chemistry lighting up the story in every scene. Just when you think the whole piece is going to be as disposable (and cheesy) as a piece of belly button fluff Moffat pulls off a massive coup at the climax by expertly weaving this story into River's character arc and providing some closure for the character. It's performed in a way that feels perfectly natural and the feeling of romance and closeness between these two characters who have been through thick and thin together is palpable. I grabbed my own husband and gave him the same look that River gives the Doctor at the end of this story. I was enchanted. With one story Steven Moffat has redeemed the character of River Song for me and finally handed her some material that makes Alex Kingston shine brightly. What a way to depart. I wouldn't want Doctor Who to lose its place in the Christmas schedules but I think the relevance of a festive adventure is getting a little stale. Without this dovetailing into River's narrative so beautifully it would be almost entirely worthless. How about something truly daring on Christmas Day? Murder the companion (and keep her dead). Have a story that takes place across several Doctors over several years (bring back Tennant, Smith and Capaldi for subsequent adventures with a continuing narrative). Tell a truly creepy Burtonesque Christmas Special that crawls under your skin and drop all the sentiment. Or don't feature any Christmas elements at all and just tell a rock solid story that happens to go out on Christmas Day. I don't want to be the pooper at the party but we've amassed almost a seasons worth of adventures that are drowning in Christmas. Because once again I question what is in this for the audience at large when the best parts of the adventure are reliant on your knowledge of the past. A desperate puppy jumping up at you wanting to be loved at an awkward moment, that's Husbands. But do you know what? By the end you've looked down and fallen in love a little bit and before that fairytale ending flies of the screen you're having a cuddle: 7/10

First Adventure in 2016!

Welcome to 2016! What an amazing year 2015 turned out to be...I leapt from a plane, visited some stunning countries, did some wonderful work in the local community and married my soul mate. It just got better and better. Despite slowing down with my posting of reviews in the latter half of the year thanks to important things that needed my attention, the blog has continued to be popular and I'm thrilled to say there will have been 3 million hits by the end of the month. That's an astonishing figure given I never expected anybody to find the site. 

2016 is starting in spectacular style as well. A long awaited adventure is just around the corner and I wanted to share it with you guys. On January 11th I will travelling from the UK to Colombia for a month. I have been doing volunteer work (on top of my paid job) for just over three years now and I have long wanted the chance to do something bigger much further away and on my own. I'm off to Medellin in South America to work in an orphanage (more of a foundation) for children who have been rescued from the streets. I have spent the last six months learning basic Spanish so I can teach the kids all about Britain (I have put together an engaging programme that covers history, culture, language, food, etc with lots of play involved). They have no exposure to other parts of the world so it is an invaluable chance to broaden their horizons. I will even have the opportunity to walk the streets and talk with kids who aren't so fortunate, feed them and find them shelter. I think it is going to be an incredible experience and I would love to be able to share some pictures with you guys when I get back. Thanks to my very generous friends I'm going to be delivering a late Christmas too...they have donated all kinds of toys, games and clothes for me to take in an extra case. 

I'm going to have some time while I'm out there to post some reviews so I will still be updating the blog. But I'm madly excited about this journey I'm about to embark on and wanted to share that excitement with you. 

Hasta Luego! 

The Heart of the Battle written and directed by Nicholas Briggs

What's it about: Trapped in a citadel swarming with Daleks, the Time Lord rescue force must find a way to overcome insurmountable odds. With the Daleks apparently planning to rule the Null Zone, perhaps their thirst for universal conquest and victory has been quenched… The War Doctor doesn’t believe so — but how can he prove it without destroying any chance of peace? As the countdown to the destruction of Keska proceeds, a deadly choice must be made... A choice that will define this Doctor, and perhaps forever cast him in the role of ‘monster’.

Damaged: Given Hurt's involvement and the fact that the War Doctor is supposedly the living embodiment of what the Doctor is not about I would have thought this set would have taken more time to explore his character. It pays lip service to his 'monstrous' characteristics (if you can really call pushing a button for the greater good a monstrous act...I guess you can in historical context) in a scene at the climax where somebody has to commit the act of devastation bit beyond that there was little to distinguish him from the others. Perhaps that is still to come. If it were any other race in the universe I am sure the Doctor would be an advocate for peace but he knows that you cannot make a deal with the Daleks. His incredibly sarcastic delivery of the shock news that the Daleks want to win the Time War after all is delightful, probably the most Doctorish thing he has said in the entire set. Doing what is necessary to save lives does not make you a monster. At least that is what the Doctor wants to tell himself. Ollistra taking the Doctor to Keska in the future is a kind of reward for his efforts throughout this set. He might not have been able to save everybody but thanks to his efforts the planet keeps turning.

Standout Performance: Celia Imrie delivers a very powerful speech about the horror of the Daleks. Oddly me it reminded me of the moment when her character went off on a mad rant in Dinnerladies and was similarly impressive and unexpected.

Sparkling Dialogue: 'The Daleks are not your glorious Overlords! They are simply your executioners!'

'Where can I find you Doctor. When I need you again?' 'At the heart of the battle where the blood of the innocents flows and only the monstrous survive.'

Great Ideas: It has a great cover and a great synopsis, after two less than motivated adventures there as every chance this could be the highlight of the set. A very important question is posed early in this story; would you sacrifice an entire race to destroy your enemy? The Time War can never be won and so Ollistra has put plans in place to negotiate peace with the Daleks. My jaw might have hit the ground when I heard that. Not because it was an unexpected development but because I had no clue how such a advance could be implemented. I mean, we're talking about the Daleks. It would have to be extreme circumstances to convince the Daleks to stop killing, peace could only be brooked at the threat of total annihilation. An inner sanctum of Time Lords who have come to the much more tasteful conclusion that peace has to be made with the Daleks. The Time Lords gave the Daleks the Null Zone weapon, a piece of hardware of their design from the Omega arsenal. It was supposed to obviate the loss of their main space time fleet and give them a chance of a bolt hole, a contained area of a thousand worlds where they hope the Daleks will be content. It's a bold idea, if a little deluded. If you think you are the ultimate example of racial purity in the universe you are not going to be happy with one small corner of the universe. You are going to want to spread and conquer. And what about the people on those thousand worlds? Sacrificed to the Daleks to slaughter them as they please. Why are the Daleks drilling into the cores of all these planets? Moveable bases from which they can administrate their new Null Zone Empire. A section of space with moving worlds like spaceships? That's pretty awe-inspiring. I've never heard anything quite like that before.

Isn't it Odd: Now I can see the comparisons with Dalek Empire that people have been making. Instead of the Dalek Empire just call it the Null Zone Empire. There is a terribly confused action sequence where the Doctor and his friends attempt to take on a Dalek that is firing with gay abandon. Nick Briggs has directed enough Big Finish action commendably for this to be a little bit embarrassing. It was all the voices that were thrown into the fracas, it's all a bit of a kafuffle.

Standout Scene: The Daleks want to fire a thousand planets at fifty times the speed of light at Gallifrey. That's a hell of a punch in the face. Talk about being hoisted by your own petard, Time Lords! I tell you what, Nick Briggs knows how to think BIG. This is a terrifying, Star Wars scale notion or the sort of thing that Douglas Adams might think up if he was having a particularly sadistic day.

Result: The box set could have been re-branded The Story of Keska rather than Only the Monstrous because it charts the development of that planet from one story to the next with far more clarity than it does it's characters. I take back what I said in my previous review about the opening story being irrelevant, this is very much a three part story where part one introduces Keska and it's local problems, part two visits the planet years later under Dalek rule and part three charts how the planet takes its place in the great Time War. It's bloated and full clichés along the way but the journey has at least been going somewhere. The Heart of the Battle has some enormous ideas at its heart, ones that have the potential make some very exciting storytelling. However those ideas need to be explored through its characters and in engaging scenarios...what happens here is the big concepts are dumped on the audience in one enormous gulp of exposition. You want to know what has been happening in this box set? Well prepare yourself for fifteen minutes worth of explanation! The answers should emerge naturally from the narrative, rather than being dumped upon it. This whole set could have done with an edit to ensure that the conclusion felt like a natural extension of events rather than a lecture explaining what it has all been about. I really like Nick Briggs as both a writer and a person, I think he has talent and he is a very good ambassador for Big Finish. Lately though his efforts are being hampered by the fact that his finite talent is being stretched in too many directions. His fingers are in so many pies that only his thumbs are left to use the keyboard. Creatures of Beauty is what I always come back to because it is the yardstick to which I compare the rest of his work to. That was his ultimate achievement and it came at a time when he wasn't encumbered with stories to write for two dozen ranges. Only the Monstrous isn't a disaster. If you have never heard a Big Finish story before this would be an exciting place to jump in because of Hurt's involvement and the added thrill of the Time War. But for seasoned audio listeners there is little that is new here...and that is rather what was promised. I can tell you without doubt that the second set will be more enticing - Dorney, Fitton and a new writer. Tasty. The Heart of the Battle gets a thumbs up for a truly mind-boggling and devastating Dalek plan. It's just a shame it couldn't be less of a lecture and more of a drama. A point removed for the pointless suggested murder at the climax. She'll be back. Just call her Molly O'Sullivan the Second: 5/10

Ranking series six in order...

1) The Doctor's Wife - Still the crowning achievement of the Moffat era

http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/series-six.html

2) The God Complex - A surreal, disturbing experience with great characters

http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2014/08/the-god-complex-written-by-toby.html

3) The Day of the Moon - A genuinely epic experience, gorgeously directed

http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-impossible-astronautday-of-moon.html

4) The Power of Three - 30 minutes of bliss, 15 minutes of guff

http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/the-power-of-three-written-by-chris.html

5) Closing Time - Sitcom Who with some very pleasing sentiment

http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/closing-time-written-by-gareth-roberts.html

6) The Girl Who Waited - Over-plotted with a devastating climax

http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2014/08/the-girl-who-waited-written-by-tom.html

7) The Impossible Astronaut - Shocking moments but plotted by a lunatic

http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-impossible-astronautday-of-moon.html

8) The Wedding of River Song - A disappointing climax but there are some nice quirky touches

http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/series-six.html

  

9) A Good Man Goes to War - As shallow as Doctor Who gets but it does deliver a decent punch at the climax

http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2014/07/a-good-man-goes-to-war-written-by.html

10) Let's Kill Hitler - Horribly smug full of itself...but ideas flow like a fine wine

http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2014/08/lets-kill-hitler-written-by-steven.html

11) Night Terrors - The sentiment is overplayed, the dolls are creepy

http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2014/08/night-terrors-written-by-mark-gatiss.html

12) The Rebel Flesh/The Almost People - A hideous Terry Nation pastiche packed with unlikable characters

http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-rebel-flesh-almost-people-written.html

13) The Curse of the Black Spot - Stick to season sixteen for the best pirate story

http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-curse-of-black-spot-written-by.html 

Only the Monstrous: The Thousand Worlds written and directed by Nicholas Briggs

What's it about: With the high-ranking Time Lord Seratrix behind enemy lines, the War Doctor finds himself assigned to a rescue mission. But any room for manoeuvre is severely restricted by an area of space known as the Null Zone. Times have changed on Keska, and a countdown to destruction is beginning. But who are the Taalyens and what is their part in the great and terrifying Dalek plan?

Damaged: We're told again about how dangerous the War Doctor is. I hope this is backed up by some evidence this time around. If the Doctor's presence on Gallifrey was felt there would be anarchy. He has to keep to the cloisters, so to speak. He might be outwardly different from the other Doctors but he has the same level of disdain for Gallifrey as his predecessors. He'll come to regret that at the apex of the Time War. When Ollistra tries to call him the Doctor he practically goes to strike her with anger. It's not how he recognises himself anymore. He has come to accept that each Dalek scheme will be more hideous and overblown than the last and they ultimately he will defeat them. Big surprise coming then, Doctor. By bringing him back to Keska under Dalek rule the Doctor is seeing the big picture in the universe. He might be able to save them from their local skirmishes but the Daleks will catch up and conquer every planet he has saved eventually. Ultimately there will be nowhere to run.

Sparkling Dialogue: 'What can possibly be good about destroying all life on a thousand planets?'

Great Ideas: A large sector of space in a specific period has been rendered impossible to reach by time travel. Naturally the Time Lords are intrigued. If there's a period of time/area of space that they cannot get their grubby little protuberances on I'm not at all surprised that it would obsesses them. When you have played God for as long as this it is hard when another race decides they want a piece of the action. The Daleks have turned Keska into an industrial nightmare, a stinking pit of despair. The Daleks are building incredible monolithic structures on each of the thousand worlds they have conquered. The ending certainly raises an eyebrow...the Daleks are looking to create peace in our time. But with their involvement I am sure it will have the same kind of scale and devastation as the Reality Bomb from Journey's End.

Audio Landscape: Trickling sewers, time stretching as you enter Null Space, war music, stasers blasts.

Musical Cues: That dreadful war music in honour of the Prime Dalek. What a godawful noise. They have to be an evil bunch.

Isn't it Odd: It is a little overstated that Rejoice has seen a pathway to the rest of the universe in the Doctor given that is exactly what he isn't offering. It almost feels like she has seen the previous 50 years of Doctor Who on the box and wants a slice of the action. It feels like it is something she should say rather than something she would say. They bonded in The Innocent over a dramatic problem but I don't buy the connection that she has to the Doctor - this talk about her wanting to protect him from himself. The worst she saw of him was him having something of a tantrum on a boat. What is it about Daleks and drills? They do love a big phallic drill plunging into the core of some unsuspected planet. I want to see the universe burn and fade and scream. 'You think what the Daleks are doing here is just another strategy in your Time War?' Well, duh.

Standout Scene: The shock reveal that Carolyn Seymour was playing an older Rejoice as a slave on the mechanised future version of Keska came out of nowhere. It's beautifully played by the two actors too. It's their first scene together but there feels like there is a weight of time and friendship between them. That, to me, felt more compelling than the first scene which tried to suggest there was a substantial friendship in place. Perhaps it is all down to the performances.

Result: 'This has an unpleasantly familiar ring to it!' John Hurt, Jacqueline Pearce, Carolyn Seymour...you can't argue with the kind of talent that Big Finish are booking these days. I only wish they were given a more ambitious narrative to play about in. Bizarrely this feels like the opening instalment again, like The Innocent wasn't needed at all. It introduces us all to the key players in the first scene and works out to be the first part of a two part story. Whilst it gives the story a chance to breathe and take in the scenery it means that there is little in the way of pace to this story. What's disappointing is how familiar it all is. A dollop of The Dalek Invasion of Earth, a dash of The Stolen Earth and Dalek Empire overseeing the whole thing. I have to admit this isn't quite the Time War I was expecting the Doctor to be fighting. Whilst Moffat boiled it down to a game of cowboys and Indians in The Day of the Doctor, there were scattered references throughout the Davies era that suggested this was a War fought in a multitude of times, dimensions and twisted realms. Where rules of time and space were broken and perverted. I'm not saying this isn't dramatically pitched but it certainly is a little mundane. Drills and monoliths and engines of destruction. Been there, done that. If you are going to suggest that things got so bad that the entire planet Gallifrey had to be wiped from the face of existence for the greater good then you have to provide inescapable evidence as to precisely why. And we're nowhere near that yet. While it plays out along predictable lines, The Thousand Worlds does at least have a humdinger of a cliffhanger that propels us into the final part. I'm looking forward to new writers tackling the second box set though. This isn't brave and bold as a Kang should be: 5/10