Teeth and Curls: Don’t quote the TARDIS manual at him
because it’s bad for his concentration. The Doctor takes almost gleeful enjoyment
out of not recognising anything that Cuthbert and his Conglomerate have
achieved until he mentions the Badger Extermination Programme and the Time Lord
suddenly sits up and pays attention with dramatic intensity. Clearly he has a
great fondness for badgers. Tom Baker needs somebody as strong as him in the
acting department to butt heads with and David Warner is more than up to the
task. Their scenes together are a delight because the Doctor seems to take such
delight in winding him up (‘you know you’re just dying to tell me…’).
For once the Doctor’s concern for Romana isn’t masked in irony or wit but is
laid bare for all the audience to hear as he desperately searches for her.
Perhaps it is because he is so child-like himself at times but this incarnation
works especially well in scenes involving children (the Marsh child from Full
Circle) and watching him laugh with delight at being surrounded by baby Laan
was quite lovely.
Posh Girl: Romana is baffled as to why humans are always so
aggressive and is reminded by the Doctor that it is because they are always so
afraid. She tries (and fails) to prevent the army from opening fire before
negotiating and is agog at their gung-ho attitude in the face of something
scientifically fascinating. Romana really was at the top of her class in
temporal mechanics.
The Tin Dog: Adding K.9 to the mix gives this story an
authentic season sixteen vibe and I can’t be the only person who goes into
nostalgic meltdown every time I hear John Leeson’s shrill monotone? True to form
it doesn’t take him particularly long before he starts malfunctioning, a time
spillage invading the TARDIS and cocking up his systems. Even on audio he has
to remain behind on the ship since the heat and sand of the Sahara desert would
play havoc with his systems.
Standout Performance: How does David Warner do it? By being
a terrific actor, I suppose! He’s played a magnitude of roles for Big Finish
now but each time he manages to bring something completely different to the
table without the audience ever not realising who he is. That applies to his
screen and stage work too (check out his performances in Star Trek: The Next
Generation, Titanic and The Secret of Crickley Hall and see just how diverse a
performer he can be). Short of being allowed to continue in the role of Steel
in the Sapphire and Steel range (which was tragically cut short due to lack of
sales) which he completely made his own, a recurring role in the fourth Doctor
adventures is the next best thing. Cuthbert is world weary, calculating and
powerful and yet strangely down to Earth with it. I believe in him just
as I do with all of Warner’s characters.
Sparkling Dialogue: ‘You’re not hearing parrots again, are
you?’
Great Ideas: You’ve got to give Nick Briggs credit…he’s not
afraid to open in an epic fashion. A President elected, a Corporation that owns
half of the galaxy and an attack by millions of creatures heading towards the
Earth. If you weren’t paying attention you soon will be! I really like the idea
of a swarm of metallic creatures travelling through the vortex and carrying the
TARDIS in their wake…a shame it wasn’t made for TV because we could enjoy a
special feature on the DVD featuring the effusive Mat Irvine explaining why the
poor realisation wasn’t the FX departments fault. On audio, it’s a spectacular
visual. A telepathic sea cow travelling in the time vortex? Only on Doctor Who!
It’s the first time the show has visited the Sahara since The Daleks’
Masterplan and it is always exciting when we push the boundaries beyond the
confines of the United Kingdom. A parasol with a UV filter from Florana…why the
devil not? It would appear that the Conglomerate have their fingers in all the
pies; providing vital computer technology to the government, money to conquer
the food crisis, the energy deficit and to control the unruly population. These
creatures can warp the powers of space/time, they have dangerous telepathic
powers and there are seven and a half billion of them that could be turned to a
dangerous cause. The Doctor thinks they behaving in a migratory fashion.
Cuthbert was performing an experiment with space/time technology when the Laan
were attracted to him like moths to a flame. The Laan live in the time vortex
but materialise on the Earth to give birth using temporal energy. Actually
that’s a pretty new idea, I can’t remember pregnant aliens falling to Earth
before and the idea of millions of them all giving birth at the same time and
rupturing the planet with a wave of temporal energy…well let’s just say it’s a
circle of life sort of thing.
Audio Landscape: A typically boisterous Briggs production
but tethered to a story that needs it, I was impressed with how much of
the story was told through the sound effects before anybody explained what was
going (such as the worms approaching Cuthbert’s ship and their POV as they are
being fired upon). Mass screaming, the TARDIS console having a paddy, shifting
sands, a helicopter approaching from over the horizon, cars honking their
horns, hawks screaming in the sky, the screaming in Romana’s mind, bullets
ricocheting from the Laan’s carapaces, baby Laan laughing, K.9 bowing his head.
Musical Cues: It is the first time I recall seeing Briggsy’s
name on the credits as producing the music for a release since his Dalek Empire
days and it can’t be by chance that this is probably the closest anybody has
gotten yet (despite Jamie Robertson’s superb efforts last season) to
approximating Dudley Simpson’s style. Mind you if you go back to the early days
of Big Finish there is definitely something Dudley-esque about Briggs’ previous
work on stories like Time and the Daleks and The Sword of Orion. Something
melodramatic but extremely serviceable, stressing the drama but complimenting
the action. I especially liked the use of the guiro here, punctuating an
otherwise silent moment just like Simpson used to.
Isn’t it Odd: If you are the sort of person who subscribes
to the belief that Nicholas Briggs is creatively monopolising the fourth Doctor
adventures you might find all your worst fears confirmed when you pick up this
release which is written by and directed by Nick and his voice comes booming
out of the speakers as soon as the title music ends. In reality he plays an
extremely minor role in the story and barely features but for those few seconds
I could just see the bashers getting their coats. The crosscutting of
interrogations that the Doctor and Romana are suffering is an economic way of
getting through a great deal of exposition but it isn’t anywhere near as
wittily scripted as it should be and the General Vincent (the usually reliable
Duncan Wibsey) barely makes an impression beyond the usual gruff military
obstinacy that the Doctor always comes across.
Standout Scene: There’s something very satisfying about
Doctor Who cliffhangers that feature things bursting from beneath. Whether its
Daleks in sand or water, Sea Devils, Marshmen or Haemovores, it always provides
an exciting moment. The Sands of Life capitalise on that formula with the Laan
diving out of the sands of the Sahara en masse and surrounding the Doctor and
Romana. It’s not original…but it’s still exciting!
Result: It’s time for the most explosive pregnancy in the
history of fiction. The Sands of Life is all set up but let’s not beat around
the bush…it’s bloody good set up! You’ve an intriguing new alien menace,
a well drawn period of future Earth history for them to flock towards, a
wonderfully dry and cynical new recurring villain in Cuthbert, a story that
isn’t afraid to head out into new locales (the Sahara) and one that isn’t
afraid to ape the Russell T Davies finale lead-ins by presenting a situation
that looks like it could mean that end of the planet. Like the Dalek Empire
series, Briggs revels and excels in this sort of action adventure and if there
isn’t anything spectacularly original taking place (beyond the nature of the
Laan and their potential effect on the Earth) then this kind of engaging
escapade is infinitely preferable to the overdone nostalgia of the previous
season. A few complaints; Cuthbert aside, none of the original characters came
alive especially and even Romana felt subdued and lacking her usual vim despite
taking a central role in proceedings and in places the dialogue was a little
too informative. It isn’t so much of a problem because unlike The Auntie Matter
this isn’t trying to be a character drama but instead carry you on a wave of
excitement to a cliffhanger that makes you want to see how it pans out which it
manages admirably. I’m really pleased that this was extended to three parts
because it gives the story time to breathe and add some nice touches to the
setting – the 50 minute stories of the first Tom Baker season always felt as
though they were scrimping on detail to squeeze a four part Doctor Who story
into two. It pleases me even more to think that David Warner is going to have a
dominant role this season because his presence elevates this adventure
considerably: 8/10
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