Hello Sweetie: ‘Do you often sleep armed?’ ‘Always.’ Another strong showing for River, who is becoming increasingly enjoyable and well rounded on audio. River recognises the Doctor immediately this time around and is unsure why he is acting so out of character. But whether she is talking about him not sniffing out the mystery at the heart of this tale or the fact that he is a corporate sell out I couldn’t tell you. She will always take a compliment from the Doctor. it struck me that this one of the first times that River has encountered the Time Lord where she can just lock horns with him as an equal without all the extraneous baggage that comes with them meeting out of order. She’s not a portent of the future (The Silence in the Library), a mysterious figure of unknown origin (the first half of the Matt Smith era) or someone who needs to be put in the right place at the right time (The Husbands of River Song). Listening to Sixie and River waxing lyrical verbally together is a triumph. There’s one thing that River cannot imagine – that the Doctor has sold her out. When the Doctor asks if people like River and himself are ever truly happy she says there is only one way to find out…before heading off to do something outrageous and save the world. She’s always happy to see the Doctor AND champagne. They both admit that the other is remarkable.
Softer Six: The ultimate version of that description, a romantic slant on the most acerbic of Doctors. He’s often bluffing his way through the universe with words and bluster, knocking out his opponents with his impressive vocabulary and acidic wit. This time he is stumped at his encounter with the mysterious River Song, a woman who seems to appreciate all the things about him that everybody else highlights as unattractive. When he bought his way into this firm he had no idea it would be such hard work. Given the Doctor has never really done a hard day’s labour in his life (not even on management level), this has all come as a bit of a shock to him. When you own the company and you can’t figure out what is going on behind the scenes, you know you are with a sinister lot. He considers River a remarkable woman and he’s not a Doctor who is afraid to say it. When he finally gets to shrug his coat back on he calls it his old friend. River thinks it is his dressing gown and says that she likes it, much to the Doctor’s surprise. When people agree with him he finds it unsettling. Even on his darkest day River cannot believe that the Doctor could be part of something as obscene as this operation. How many worlds have been consumed whilst the Doctor has taken up his position here? How rare to hear the Doctor saying that he has been played for a fool. Enigma may go down with some people, but not him. There’s a feeling that this is at the end of his tenure, probably not long before The Brink of Death and that he is slowing down. He’s always thought that holidays were boring. He’s always been suspicious of new builds; he prefers his planets to feel lived in. Whilst he’s not very good at running a company, he is very good at running. Anyone who says that the sixth Doctor has lost his edge might want to take a listen to the line: ‘Before I was going to stop you. Now, I’m going to wipe you out!’ The Doctor’s sleeping partners solution is really rather ingenious. Is this the earliest example of the Doctor having a snog? I really thought that the Doctor might be able to keep his memories in this story, so it’s a shame when the climax plays its hand and wipes his memory of the first woman that has turned his head in this incarnation.
Standout Performance: The relaxed chemistry between Kingston and Baker is a revelation at parts. Finally, somebody has tamed old Sixie.
Sparkling Dialogue: ‘You could have a golden future here at Golden Futures!’
‘I’ve measured out my life in coffee breaks.’
‘Am I imagining it or has America put on weight?’
‘I’m too old for this’ ‘You’re not even halfway there, Doctor.’
‘Can someone call HR? My personal assistant has just pulled a gun on me!’
‘Oh River I’m so happy I could kiss you!’
Great Ideas: Imagine working in a department where you get to approve and endorse dreams? I think that would just about be my dream job. There are 10,000 pods and inside are sleepers enjoying dreams hand crafted by dream artisans. People dreaming their lives away if they have the money. The little snippets of people’s dreams swerve from disturbing (a man who has reclaimed his dad family) to hilarious (‘I’m going to be a unicorn!’). The odd nightmare slips in but the autocorrect usually steps in and resets those. A multidimensional lifeform that is leeching off people’s dreams. A copy of the Earth in a hyperdimensional gateway. How any writer can throwaway an idea like dimension welders is beyond me. Goss has such an arsenal of ideas up his sleeve that this is just one of many. Earth is going to be destroyed and Elysium is going to be put in its place. As soon as the Earth is consumed they will release Elysium onto the market as the hottest piece of real estate. The creatures in the pods feed of potential energy: roads not taken. Whilst the Doctor has been here he hasn’t been out in the universe, righting wrongs and saving worlds. That’s had a cost that has allowed them to built the second Earth. Speravore larvae drifting at the fatty end of the time vortex feeding of old dreams and other debris.
Standout Scene: When the Doctor gets to step out of the shadows and ask who has been eating the sleepers. It might feel like it makes River redundant in her own series but its actually quite the reverse. Sixie is all puff in public whilst she is behind the scenes bringing this system down.
Result: ‘Congratulations Doctor, you own 51% of the planet Earth…’ When Colin Baker joked that he should be kept on a retainer by Big Finish and work in their studios every week, ignoring all other work, I had no idea that that would turn out to be true. I’m joking but how he steps into other ranges is becoming prolific (Dark Shadows, Jago & Litefoot, Bernice Summerfield, Drama Showcase). The reason for this is not only because he was an early supporter of the company but mainly because he is an extremely talented man with some serious acting chops on audio that can turn his hand to practically anything. If you would have told me that his encounter with River was going to be the most flirtatious and outwardly romantic (she really does have a dazzling effect on the prickliest of Doctors) I probably would have laughed in your face. We all know that Alex Kingston can turn her hand to romantic drama (did you ever see her in ER?) but its Colin that surprises most here; gentle, bewitched and flirty. I thoroughly enjoyed the setting too; delving into the world of a corporation delivering dreams to a rich population. The second series of River Song is turning out to be more confident and surer of itself than the first. Bizarrely, even though the Doctor is utilised just as much as he was in the first set, it feels like the writers have a much better handle on River’s character and Alex Kingston has adapted to acting her character on audio at this point. Out of the hands of her creator, she’s remarkably easy to be around. James Goss chalks up another winner; creative, quixotic and alluring. The only downfall is the climax, which tips over into the usual sort of OTT villainy when the set-up had been so expertly handled. That’s a minor complaint in a story that is overall rather bewitching. I love the cover too: 8/10
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