The Famished Lands written by Lisa McMullin and directed by Ken Bentley

What’s it About: Trying to make a difference far from the front lines, the Doctor and Bliss arrive in the Vale of Iptheus, where the Time War is starving populations out of existence. The inhabitants have taken matters into their own hands – but are now on course for something worse. Bliss discovers exactly how the robot Enablers are helping the people, while the Doctor uncovers a terrifying secret...

Physician, Heal Thyself: The Doctor thinks he has found himself a personal war to fight when he witnesses the slaughter of a dozen starving people. I’m guessing that in a conflict where he is struggling to do any real good that he needs to find these personal victories wherever he can. There’s an incredibly bizarre conversation where the Doctor tries to convince an Ipthean that he is not a Dalek and they do not come from Gallifrey. It does stress the point that the details of the Time War are all muddled up on these worlds but in execution it is a very strange conversation (the dialogue is really awkward). The Doctor feels compelled to tell the people of the worlds affected by the Time War that this isn’t a war against them, and that they are only fighting the Daleks. I’m sorry, Doctor, but I think the Time Lords would shit all over the people of these worlds if it lead them to victory. He’s going to have to abandon this kind of woolly thinking if he is going to make an impact in this conflict. If he keeps seeing the best of his people, he’ll never get to the point where he feels compelled to wipe both sides out. He’s very quick to throw out absolutes.

Bless Bliss: What’s the worst thing that you can do when you land on a world with no food…turn up looking as if you have eaten a lot lately! She’s never been taken to dinner at gunpoint before but apparently it is the only way to dine out in the universe. Had Bliss turned into a hideous skeleton warrior then at least that would be memorable.

Standout Performance: Interesting ‘starving’ performance in there. Just sound like you have a bad sore throat and you are phoning up work to make your excuses for not coming in.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘If you see people starving you feed, don’t shoot.’

Dreadful Dialogue: ‘What did you do to the Doctor? You didn’t laser him! Was that a transmat?’

Great Ideas: A pretty world but not a self-sufficient one. It’s a world that relies on trade with other worlds for its food supplies and the Time War has cut off most of its supply routes. The skeleton army are the people that have eaten the synthetic food. A planet of raging skeleton warriors, to fight against the Time War.

Isn’t it Odd: I’m starting to wonder if Russell T Davies didn’t do me any favours by suggesting that the Time War was a conflict so awesome that it could not quantified, or described in any great accuracy. He offered up tantalising hints and whispers, terrifying imagery without ever going into any great detail and leaving the rest to our imagination. When Steven Moffat took the brave step of actually showing us what occurred it was pretty disappointing to realise that at its apex it was just a shoot ‘em up between the Time Lords and the Daleks. With an ongoing Time War series that is adding ever more detail to the conflict, it is becoming more normalised and less inventive. Boiling down the great conflict to a planet that are suffering because their trade routes are cut off might pass muster in an earthbound historical conflict but in the great unknowable Time War it seems to reduce it to something so utterly domestic and unremarkable. I think my expectations of the Time War were placed in an unreasonably high place and Big Finish are never quite going to reach it. Ultimately, in my heart, I feel like this is a War that belongs in the mind and not in actual stories. ‘What on Iptheus’ – it is a rookie mistake to have people talking like they would on Earth but change the name of the planet. Look at that cover art. It feels like they have given up trying to front these adventures with anything striking. I find the argument that it was an accident that they created an army of skeleton warriors through attempting to cure starvation on the planet a pretty shallow one. Why didn’t they stop the abuse on their people and go back to the drawing board? No, instead they gave the food to more people and used it to create a terrifying force that would protect their planet. As ever, it is not case of what people say but what they do. The Doctor literally cannot do right for doing wrong here. He shows these people a little glimpse of the Time War in a hope that they will understand how serious it is and as a result they decide to all become skeleton soldiers to try and fight back. And then a few lines of ‘perhaps the Time War won’t reach you here’ and they are convinced to go the other way. This is really simplistic writing. The entire existence of this story is justified in the very final scene, a bargain made between the Doctor and the Time Lords where they want something in return from him. Fair enough, but it could have been any favour that he was asking that was more exciting than 'please don't cut off the food from this planet.'

Standout Scene: It’s very odd having scenes of the Doctor and Bliss delighted at their dining experience on a planet where starvation is rife. I realise that the produce they are eating is a marvel and could solve all of this planet’s problems, but tonally it is extremely jarring. Talk about white privilege. We also swing from a conversation about the implications of the Time War to the Doctor screaming and dancing in a drug induced state. These scenes just do not sit next to each other harmoniously.

Result: ‘Is there an army of giant skeletons standing in front of us?’ I admire a story that gets to the point quickly and The Famished Lands certainly does that, offering up a fresh location and a conflict in less time that it would take to boil an egg. There’s an odd tone to this adventure that doesn’t quite marry up to the subject matter. It’s a story that wants to delve into the idea that worlds are suffering because of the Time War, where starving people are massacred and yet the tone is somewhat jovial, the dialogue jokey and the regulars are treating all of this as though it is a jolly outing. I appreciate that this is far more linear and approachable story than Fitton’s debut, mind, and Bliss feels much more comfortable playing second fiddle to the Doctor than she did being the focus. Are these Time War adventures supposed to be hard hitting dramas or is there room for lighter, slighter romps? On the strength of The Famished Lands I would argue against that approach I the future. I don’t understand the point of such a story; it doesn’t have anything particularly revelatory to say about the Time War, it isn’t a stepping stone in an arc, it’s not a character piece that reveals anything about the regulars. It feels like the quintessential ‘let’s churn them out’ Big Finish adventure, the great sausage factory of audio adventures. The only thing that this story does particularly well is weirding me out; scenes rub shoulders that swing from seriousness to high farce and I was left wondering whether the Time War was infecting the story, forcing to the tenor to shift so dramatically. Is this a comedy or a drama or a tragedy? Beats me, Chief: 4/10