The Nightmare Fair written by Graeme Williams & John Ainsworth and directed by John Ainsworth

What’s it about: The TARDIS has been drawn to Blackpool in the year1985, where the Doctor intends to investigate a dangerous space/time vortex… while enjoying some local attractions along the way. But an old enemy is watching from his base deep within the amusement park, a timeless being who craves revenge. The Celestial Toymaker has returned. The game is on. And, should he lose, the Doctor will pay the ultimate forfeit…

Theatrical Adventurer: Caught in a nexus between the acerbic, bitter Doctor of season 22 and the mellower, more comfortable Doctor of season 23, this is a great way to pitch old Sixie to bridge the gap between the two. You’ve got the occasional moment of nastiness but also some gentleness and I hope the latter will develop throughout the season and become the Big Finish Sixie we know and love. You cannot build a place like Blackpool Tower for pleasure purposes (and he knows planets that have tried and it was doomed to failure!). It is perfect, genius frivolity! I love the pointless continuity references – it feels so authentically season 22 for the Doctor to name-drop Mr Sin and Duggan! Peri introduces him to candy floss and declares there is nowhere else he would rather go for such innocent fun. He does perhaps a florid turn of phrase! I love his gleeful pleasure at the roller coaster; he really is learning to let his hair down. A little bit older but probably not wiser. Brevity is the soul of wit, he claims. ‘If you’ve harmed her then you and I shall fall out’ he warns the Toymaker of Peri and you believe him. An insolent gypsy whose manners have not improved with time? The Doctor compares the machinations of the Toymaker with the games of the Coliseum. He always was a victim of his own intellectual conceit but it seems to have developed into full-blown paranoia! Egocentric in the extreme! The Doctor claims that many of his fellow Time Lords run away when they come across something they do not understand. An unfeeling block? Wow, how many times can the Doctor be insulted in one story? He’d sooner patronise the human race than butcher them. He prefers the classic simplicity of space invaders which didn’t bore him for at least fifteen seconds! He dishes out his retribution on the Toymaker with great regret and has some idea what it will be like to be trapped in the endless stream of time. He is not a cosmic taxi service (hmm, Davison was!). At the end of the story he wants to go back to the funfair!

Busty Babe: It is so wonderful to hear the Doctor and Peri laughing together at the funfair, it is clear that we are going to see them get a lot closer throughout this missing season. She’s not so good with heights. It’s nice to have Peri off investigating on her own. She’s always paranoid when people are hunting her. The thought of Kevin and Peri working together made me chuckle. Peri is clever enough to realise Kevin is a Toymaker construct even if it does leave her screaming her head off! The Doctor and Peri have known each other far too long! When he agonises over his torture of the Toymaker Peri tells him that he had no choice.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘A gung ho robot and a ravenous space plumber! We’re going to make an unbeatable combination!’
‘I detest caging even the wildest beast Toymaker but for you there is no other answer.’


Great Ideas: Reports of a Chinese mandarin appearing out of thin air…the Celestial Toymaker! Mechanical miners coming to life! This will be the deciding game between the Toymaker and the Doctor, the last. Centuries of servitude is the price to pay for losing a game. The Toymaker existed before Time Lord records, he is old beyond imagining and was once seen to play with supernovae as though it was a paddling pool! The Toymaker thinks the Earth was made for him. Stefan was with Barbarossa, the army of the third crusade against the Turk, one of the most savage and barbaric forces in history. The Toymaker has been researching his game via the visitors to the funfair to make it as challenging as possible. He isn’t from this universe, that’s why the laws of the universe don’t concern him. There was a catastrophe that hurled him from his own universe into this one and carried his own matter with him. He will live for millions of years in crushing borderm, the isolation of aeons. Meaningless destruction is just as effortless for him as meaningless creation and the Toymaker has done both to death and now finds them unfulfilling. He threw off purpose and meaning so he could play chance and hazard. The Doctor traps him in a loathsome punishment, his thoughts going round and round, trapping him, holding him, echoing around him for the rest of time.

Audio Landscape: Hooting monkeys, whistling wind, seagulls, funfair jingles, laughing booth, the clanking tracks of the roller coaster, Peri screaming with delight (for a change!), the gloriously tacky synth music of the Galactic Adventure, laser beams, crazy rattling gunfire, growling alien, robotic footsteps, space invaders style computer game, Yasamoto electrocuted, heartbeat, Peri’s stretched scream…

Musical Cues: There’s an occasionally tacky, occasionally sinister score which reminds me of the 80s perfectly.

Isn’t it Odd: The pacing of the first episode is really slow and it all feels a bit too relaxed in places, the whole episode is one long lead up to the Doctor agreeing to play the Toymaker’s game, something which took 5 minutes in the 60s! It is a little too quiet and undramatic; the first episode would have made a surprisingly eventless season opener.

Result: After listening to The Nightmare Fair I am in two minds about the Lost Stories. On the one hand I want them to be as authentic as possible so it feels like we are literally skipping into season 23b but on the other hand I want them to be as slick and as confident as Big Finish’s usual output. Graeme Williams story opens on a great location and genuinely innovates the Toymaker with an unforgettable, unexpectedly affecting conclusion but much of what comes between is quiet, talky and unmemorable. The performances of Colin Baker and Nicola Bryant feel totally authentic and David Baillie steps into Michael Gough’s shoes effortlessly and the production is the usual high standards. I’m not sure what to make of this story to be honest, I enjoyed it for nostalgic reasons but I don’t think it stands up to the best of Big Finish’s usual output: 6/10

Buy it from Big Finish here: http://www.bigfinish.com/101-Doctor-Who-The-Nightmare-Fair

Pier Pressure written by Rupert Ross and directed by Gary Russell

What’s it about: Brighton, Sussex; 1936 "Ere, listen listen, I've got one for you. There once was this bloke, you see. Good-looking sort of chap. Lovely, brightly coloured coat. No rubbish. Quality gear. Never bought a drink neither... or so they say. But his name wasn't Miller. Oh no, there'll never be another Cheeky Chappie, lady, there'll never be another. They broke the mould when they made me you know. No, this bloke called himself the Doctor. Doctor who you ask? And may well you. Don't know me self. No one ever knew. Funny that. He was a real strange one. Odd things happened when he arrived. Mind you, them were dark days. No one was laughing. And these were my people. My public. It was like playing first house at the Glasgow Empire. Just like the entire town was cursed it was. Cursed by something not of this world..."

Softer Six: There is something very odd going on with Sixie’s characterisation in this story. Like Medicinal Purposes (although it was a lot subtler there) Ross is determined to write the Doctor as a verbose, prickly, selfish alien…which is fine if you are trying to capture the sixth Doctor we saw in the series. Big Finish have developed the character since then into a far warmer, more complex sort of man and plonking him back into the bellowing self obsessed bully role feels…I dunno, wrong. Fortunately Colin Baker is around to deal with this dodgy characterisation and he manages to soften it in general but there are still a few moments where you want to reach into the audio and tear his head from his shoulders. Evelyn is contemplating a universe without the Doctor and she doesn’t like the sound of it! He’s down in the dumps because of the futility of it all. Lives spent in constant danger, countless centuries wasted on puny civilisations that don’t give a tailors cusp whether he arrives in the nice of time or not! He’s an alien; he spells that out perfectly clearly to Evelyn. Once in a while he would like to be able to enjoy a thoroughly bad mood! It’s no fun anymore! Oh Doctor, cheer up! Evelyn suggests that being saviour of the universe must be a hard graft after all these years but gets him to admit it was worth it. His autobiography should be a rollicking good read. He tried Blackpool once and it didn’t go well. When they arrive he is excited to be at London-by-Sea, Brighton! Death follows you around when you have a ship that can sense danger. He hates mysteries without mystery! In his queer clothes he looks as though he is lit up like a Christmas tree! The Doctor comments that the BBC are often unforgiving to their finest assets (ahem). Moves pretty fast for an old ‘un. Don’t he talk funny? His sugary sweetness positively rots Miller’s teeth! The Doctor once spent the night on Brighton beach as did I but I am almost willing to bet it wasn’t for the same reason! He’s a proper little HG Wells, isn’t he? Running away is no him at all. How long has it been since he sat calmly and serenely and basked in the sound of the ocean? He never just sits and listens, he is the watchmaker, regulating time and there are so many cogs that don’t fit, so many worlds that could shatter (that’s quite a lovely moment, actually). You don’t get to talk with the authority of the Doctor without seeing some stuff. I raised an eyebrow when he started kicking the ¤¤¤¤ out of the possessed Emily with driftwood! The Doctor is very pleased that Emily is dead because she is finally at peace. Max Miller always said he was a lovely bloke!

Learned Lecturer: While she is still a guest in this battered old box she will speak her mind and shake him from his doldrums if she wants to (go Evelyn!). A holiday without Evelyn would be doomed to failure. Max Miller is another feather in her cap along with Queen Mary, Darwin and Burke and Hare. Sometimes she could happily turn away from a problem that might not even be a problem! Speaking as somebody who has spent an awful lot of time there, the Doctor and Evelyn larking about on Brighton Pier is wonderful! Mrs Wells! Evelyn secrets Miller back to the TARDIS and he asks what are they supposed to do in there all night and instead of getting her jollies on they play I Spy! Evelyn has learnt the hard way that she should never question the Doctor. She’s never had the need to use the little girls room in the TARDIS and has no idea if there even is one! She accidentally says the First World War rather than the Great War, which tells Miller there will be another. Calls the Doctor the bravest man she has ever know and she thinks he is rather fantastic.

Standout Performance: It’s a shame that he doesn’t have a better story to be involved in but Roy Hudd gives a grandiose performance as Max Miller, the unforgettable comic caught up in the Doctor’s adventures.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘Sirius 4! Metebelies 3!’ ‘Sounds like a football score!’
‘He is engaged in forbidden tortures of the Far East!’ ‘Sounds like my honeymoon!’
‘Looks like the Northern Lights have taken a holiday down South.’
‘Its sucking us down! Women and comics first!’
‘How many fingers am I holding up?’ ‘Don’t be disgusting!’
‘Once more unto the beach!’

Great Ideas: The Royal Pavilion is described as a little taste of India in the South East of England. The Phantom of Preston Park? By midnight Dante’s Inferno will have nothing on Brighton! Max Miller is the naughtiest man in Britain (Evelyn seems g
enuinely gleeful to see him). Miller asks how many miles on the clock of the TARDIS (blimey, what a thought!). The concentration of human emotions have seeped into the piers structures, inconsequential holiday pleasures, flashes of the mind but the pier doesn’t forget. The human energy is stored in her structure, her heart. The war was a similar collection of human emotions, despair which allowed an evil presence to thrive. Happiness versus despair? A vessel that stores human feelings for its own good. When they arrived centuries ago the Endo were exiles from the furthest reaches of the galaxy they were frightened, homeless and desperate. They became parasites on the Earth, clinging onto life like intergalactic frogspawn. The Doctor tells Miller that he would become a favourite son of Brighton and have a statue erected as a national treasure.

Audio landscape: Almost as if compensating for the lack of plot, this is an extremely evocative productive conjuring up a nighttime seaside location effortlessly. The seagulls, shingle, tide and whipping sea breeze takes me back to evenings larking about on Brighton beach. There’s also the creatures terrifying roar, pub chatter, walking on the pier, a chilling heartbeat and Emily’s scream.

Musical Cues: A fabulous musical score which goes from cheeky to theatrical to moody. There’s an unusual use of the violin which gives Miller a fruity theme of his own but the guitar and piano are put to great use as well. I loved the ghostly score that tried to create tension that the story lacks!

Isn’t it Odd: The first episode is full of great Gary Russell atmospherics but the script is seriously lacking because nothing of consequence happens besides some witty wordplay! The opening scenes between the Doctor and Evelyn are unpleasantly reminiscent of the early 80’s where they tries to inject a little soap opera domestics into the show. Why is the Professor’s death worthy of a cliffhanger? We don’t even know if he is relevant to the plot yet! Oh I know why…because there had to be a cliffhanger somewhere in all the chatter! Its really strange how everybody stands around blabbering about everything before doing anything and then once they have done it they chat about what they have just done and why! The Doctor starts frightening the natives by saying the whole planet is in danger without a shred of evidence! ‘2/10 for originality’ – as Joe Lidster learnt in The Rapture you need to be very careful if you are going t include dialogue like that. ‘Walk, attack, kill…’ clearly the Edno have been taking tips from the Daleks! Evelyn and Max are playing I Spy in episode three…why aren’t they involved in the story (oh yeah…there isn’t one!). ‘If I can’t think myself through this nonsense!’ – you said it, Doc! The Doctor thoughtlessly tells Billy to get over the death of his girlfriend so they can get on with defeating the enemy (yeah like you weren’t affected by Peri’s death in Trial of a Timelord). The end of episode three sounds disturbingly like Colin Baker getting pissed and falling into the water (perhaps he’s been talking to Tom Baker). ‘You can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?’ is a sixth Doctor line! Gallifreyan zinc? They have Earth elements on Gallifrey? Unfortunately Miller was just there in the end to provide a little colour, he doesn’t contribute anything to the (lack of) plot.

Result: Get a script editor sorted for Big Finish, now! Pier Pressure is nowhere near as offensive as people will lead you t believe. Whilst it does ramble on it has some sublime performances, evocative atmospherics and a great musical score all of which prove quite diverting. Ross can certainly coin a phrase but unfortunately that’s all he does here, everybody stands around chatting about this terrible evil that is brewing but we don’t actually find out anything about it until the end of the story and aside from inhabiting and killing one girl it doesn’t do anything that would suggest the ‘end of the world’ horror the Doctor keeps talking about. I’m probably a more forgiving audience for this story because I am a Brighton boy through and through and I love the undergraduate humour it displays but I would completely understand if people were bored rigid throughout. I’m giving extra points for Roy Hudd’s Max Miller, a genuinely delightful character: 6/10

Buy it from Big Finish here: http://www.bigfinish.com/77-Doctor-Who-Other-Lives

Other Lives written by Gary Hopkins and directed by Gary Russell

What’s it about: London, 1851. Scene of the Great Exhibition of the Works of Industry of All Nations. Scene also of a plot to un-seat the government, de-throne the monarch and start a republic. If the Duke of Wellington himself is to be believed... While the Doctor and Charley are drawn into the murky world of nineteenth-century politics, C'rizz struggles to maintain his dignity against growing odds. What begins as an attempt to prevent murder quickly becomes a desperate race to avert revolution. Separated from the TARDIS, the travellers are left to wonder if they'll get their own lives back or be forever entangled with the lives of others. And who is Mrs Georgina Marlow? What need does she feel the Doctor can satisfy?

Breathless Romantic: What a revelation. After his understated (and by that I mean bored) performance in Scaredy Cat (and who can blame him with a script as weak as milky tea) Paul McGann returns to form in a highly unusual tale for the eighth Doctor. My one complaint would be that the story takes too long to reach the point where the Doctor returns to Georgina and for all intents and purposes fulfils the role of her husband. The thing is I can completely imagine Paul McGann in the role of an Austen-style Mr Darcy romantic hero and here he gets to play that role for a couple for episodes whilst still being ostensibly the Doctor. As soon as he revealed that C’rizz would have stay in the TARDIS my first thought was I bet he did that deliberately. Hell hath no fury like a Doctor scorned and he tells Georgina that she is a bad mother and that she should take better care of her son to her consternation. He plays the showman very well and does sleight of hand tricks to pay for his entrance fee. The Doctor is falsely arrested, sentenced and banged up but then what’s new? I certainly raised an eyebrow when Georgina rescued him, suggesting that he was her husband (oddly my first impression was that he must have a very mucky future ahead where he comes back to this period and settles down!). In her mind they were married some 15 years ago in Camden chapel and they have a house in Camden where they have lived for most of that time. The Doctor flirts with her almost despite himself (‘Stop it…’ he says coyly as she compliments him). He never really thought of himself as a family man but doesn’t find it an altogether unpleasant feeling. Georgina is the only person in this time who has shown him kindness so when he loses the TARDIS and his friends he goes to her for solace. Georgina can see from his eyes that he is a good, kind man. The Doctor feels as though he has taken advantage of her and assumed the mantle of the Victorian gentleman. When he realises he will have to convince Edward’s Uncle that he is his nephew for the sake of Georgina and the kids the Doctor gets really nervous and fidgety but for the sake of the woman he has grown to enjoy spending time with he goes along with the charade and manages to convince. When his travels bring him in this direction he promises to look in on Georgina and after setting up home with her you honestly believe that he will.

Edwardian Adventuress: See now I don’t understand. Charley didn’t even register on the radar in Scaredy Cat. If you asked me to remember a scene with her in it I would be hard pressed to recall anything (and I only listened to it a week ago). In Other Lives Charley is a fresh, vibrant character, exploding with excitement when she realises she can explore the Crystal Palace and enjoying some wonderful (and I do mean wonderful) scenes with the Duke of Wellington who warms to her almost as a father figure. I love how the filthy cow opens the story in a Jamie like fashion by enthusing ‘its enormous! Much bigger than I ever expected Doctor!’ and you wonder for five seconds if he has finally shown her his tackle. Victorian ladies don’t run apparently but Charley cannot resist and she wants to see every in the Crystal Palace at once! What dainty little feet she has! I love how she pretends that she was desperately concerned about C’rizz when she returns to the TARDIS when really she just wanted to change out of her petticoats. She’s a traveller but not a gypsy you know. I loved the sequences where Charley explains her situation to Mr Dimplesqueeze, losing her friends and with no where to go for the night because you can see he thinks this is all some kind of dirty role play! Charley’s reaction to Mr Dimplesqueeze’s suggestion that she pay for the food he bought her with a night of nookie is hysterical and she slaps him when he says she looks like a harlot! Described as a slovenly bedraggled creature after she has spent the night on the streets. She’s petite if you don’t mind…and not fat! She took riding lessons when she was younger, well one. She has a natural authority. An uncommonly educated young woman, Charley steps into the shoes of Madame de la Roche with consummate ease. Charley knows better than to lie to the Duke of Wellington and once he realises that she is from the future she tells him everything in some very tender moments.

Chameleonic Rogue: Completing what we in the trade call a miracle (that is the eighth Doctor, Charley and C’rizz all being written with some care and attention) even C’rizz is given some great moments. The Victorians aren’t quite ready for him. After falling into the company of Jacob Crackles, Esq. C’rizz is chained up, forced to strip naked (‘what sort of Utermizen do you take me for?’) and wear nothing but a thong to cover his modesty! Whilst you might think that this is going to turn into something kinky the truth of the matter is that people would spend good money to come and see him (for their ‘education, enlightenment and edification’ of course!). Naturally C’rizz finds this whole ordeal humiliating and can’t believe his midget friend is willing to be treated like an animal. Kerizzo is Crackles’ latest in his parade of oddities! Considering his actions in The Next Life and Terror Firma when C’rizz says he will kill Crackles you believe him. He tries to appeal to the humanity of the Victorian crowd (fat chance) and is whipped for his efforts. He just wants to be plain old C’rizz again (why?). He does a terrible French accent but a fine cockney. His friends in his head (you know L’da, Gemma and all those he has killed) tell him to save Crackles but he fights that urge and breaks his legs and takes away his sight instead. I’m not sure where this is all going with C’rizz but lets hope his murderous actions come to light soon.


Standout Performance: Ron Moody plays a fantastically naughty Duke of Wellington who frequently chuckles with eyebrow raising perversity. He and India Fisher have dazzling chemistry and I wished he could hop in the TARDIS at the end instead of C’rizz (and he admits if he was a few years younger he would!). The Duke realising that Charley is from the future and asking her to tell him about the future of his country is a truly great scene. Special mention has to go to Fisher and Westmaas for their embarrassing cod French accents (‘Poolice Pooblic Call Box!’).

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘I told the Duke of Wellington to hold me shoe!’
‘You’re thinking that I’m a tart! A harlot! A strumpet! A street walker!’
‘Met him once you know, very briefly. Little chap. Just before he set sail for Trafalgar. Have you seen the bloody monumental column in Trafalgar Square? Horatio’s taller than the rest of us now!’
‘Give me a battlefield for the House of Commons any day!’
‘Doesn’t the Crystal Palace look magnificent from this distance? Like a million polished diamonds glittering in the sunlight. A magnificent example of Victorian engineering concealing a thousand others.’
‘I can’t face my public wearing a dodgy hair piece!’

Great Ideas: Crystal Palace was big enough to display many of the products of industry and thousands of people but was only open to the public for six months. The Doctor kidnaps the French aristocrats to save them from execution. They are easy targets for an assassin’s bullet because they are supporters of Napoleon. The TARDIS dematerialises without the Doctor. Charley is shoehorned into the role of the French ambassador with in a dodgy wig! Charley tells the Duke the 20th Century has learnt little from its past. Edwards Uncle did not approve of his marriage to Georgina and they live in his house on sufferance. The Doctor has to pretend to be Edward to convince Rufus Dimplesqueeze (a Dickensian character name if ever I heard one!) she and the kids can stay. There’s a wonderful happy ending when Edward really does come to Georgina and you wouldn’t wish anything else for such a nice character.

Audio Landscape: Lots of atmospherics in this story, more exceptional direction from Gary Russell who really has raised his game in his run up to his departure from Big Finish. Fountain bubbling, fairground music, crackling fire, ticking clock, crows, walking on gravel, a perturbed crowd, splashing C’rizz’s face with water, whipped with chains, a horse and cart, that same football crowd that turns up in all time and space (they were there cheering all the way through Medicinal Purposes and The Game as well!), C’rizz chained up, moving straw, a clapping and jeering crowd, Charley on the streets with dogs, cats and people screaming, a marching band, C’rizz tearing his wig off, rustling newspaper.

Standout Scene: There’s a very funny Rocky Horror ‘Janet/Dr Scott/Janet/Brad!’ sequences when the Doctor, Charley and C’rizz met up again. Why can’t they be this fun all the time?

Result: I have given up trying to guess what the eighth Doctor adventures will serve up next. Since we have left the Divergent Universe we have gone from psychological thriller to eco blandness and now a cheeky Dickensian drama! Despite my complaints about the regulars since Faith Stealer there has only been (for me) one duffer and the stories themselves have been pretty consistent and entertaining. Other Lives ditches its plot (does it even have one) in favour of character and gives each of the regulars a great new relationship, be it with desperate wife Georgina, mischievous old rogue Wellington or the twisted and exploitative Crackles. So whilst nothing of consequence really happens the story displays local colour in abundance and the dialogue is frequently amusing. Frankly it is wonderful to have the Doctor, Charley and C’rizz let their hair down for a bit (well maybe not C’rizz who is chained up and humiliated) and the relaxed pace really leaves them open for some fine development. Extra points for the scene where Charley is mistaken for a hooker: 8/10 

  
Artwork by Simon Hodges @ http://hisi79.deviantart.com/

The survey says...

I've just realised that whilst I have been running these polls for the last nine months I have only posted the results on Gallifrey Base rather than also posting them here...so here are the results of the first handful of polls we have completed together!

What is your favourite Evelyn story?

1) Jubilee - 31%
2) Dr Who and the Pirates - 17%
3) The Marian Conspiracy - 14%
4) Spectre of Lanyon Moor - 11%
5) Arrangements of War - 8%
6) 100 - 6%

7) Bloodtide, Project:Twilight, Real Time, Medicinal Puposes, Thicker than Water - 2%

Jubilee and the Pirates are my favourite stories of hers as well, but it does make me feel quite sad for Thicker than Water, which I thought handled her character very sensitively.

What is your favourite Peri story?

1) The Kingmaker, Son of the Dragon = 16%
2) Eye of the Scorpion, Chruch and the Crown = 12%
3) The Axis of Insanity = 8%
4) Whispers of Terror, The Council of Nicea, Year of the Pig, The Mind's Eye, Bride of Peladon = 4%

No votes - Red Dawn, Nekromentia, Roof of the World, Three's a Crowd, Exotron

Son of the Dragon made an impressive last minute jump to joint first...

What is your favourite Charley Pollard Story? Oddly I didn't post the percentages here just the order of the stories...)

1st place) The Chimes of Midnight (with more than double the votes of the next serious competitor)
2nd place) Storm Warning, Neverland, The Girl Who Never Was, Blue Forgotten Planet (nice to see Charleys debut and finale so high up in the list) - 6 votes each
3rd place) The Natural History of Fear, The Condemned (two experimental titles)
4th place: Invaders from Mars, Seasons of Fear, Scherzo, Terror Firma, Brotherhood of the Daleks, The Raincloud Man, Paitent Zero (this puts nearly all but two of Charley's last seven stories in the top 4)
5th place: Stones of Venice, Embrace the Darkness, The Last, Memory Lane, The Doomwood Curse (5 very decent stories)
6th place: Sword of Orion, Creed of the Kromon, Faith Stealer, Caerdroia, The Next Life, Other Lives, Time Works, Something Inside, Paper Cuts (I supposed somebody had to vote for these stories - I would have put Other Lives much higher though)
7th place: Minuet in Hell, Time of the Daleks, Zagreus, Scaredy Cat, Absolution, Return of the Krotons (Ahem)

Unvoted (and unloved): The Twilight Kingdom



What is your favourite Lucie Miller story?

1) Human Resources
2) Grand Theft Cosmos
3) The Eight Truths, Worldwide Web
4) Horror of Glam Rock, Max Warp
5) Blood of the Daleks, Sisters of the Flame, Vengeance of Morbius, Wirrn Dawn, Death in Blackpool
6) Brave New Town, Zygon who Fell to Earth, Orbis, Hothouse, The Cannabilists
7) The Beast of Orlock
8) Immortal Beloved, Phobos, No More Lies, Dead London, The Skull of Sobek


Nice to see every story get one vote - most of her first season is lingering at the bottom of the poll whilst Human Resources was always at the top spot throughout the seven days. My personal favourite, Grand Theft Cosmos, takes a proud second place highlighting the great chemistry McGann and Sheridan shared. Epic spider action at the end of Lucie's third year rightly comes high up in the poll.

Which television companion from the main ranges has benefited most from their Big Finish adventures?
1) Mel - 41%
2) Nyssa - 29%
3) Peri & Ace - 11%
4) Bernice Summerfield - 5%

Looking at this list it is pretty much how I would sum up the situation! Mel has benefited hugely from the Big Finish audios - the allowance of time and retrospect looking back at how she was portrayed during seasons 23/24 has allowed Big Finish the chance to offer us the Mel we might have seen had the writers invested more energy and intelligence into her. There were fleeting moments where Bonnie Langford shined but they did focus far too much on the screaming rather than allowing any kind of personality to shine through. Fires of Vulcan sees Mel at her best; determined, unfazed by bullies, terrified at her fate at the hands of Vesuvius. Subsequent stories built on this strong characterisation - The One Doctor saw the writers and Bonnie Langford gleefully poking fun at the characters faults and having Mel come off all the stronger for it, Catch 1782 gave her a nice meaty amnesia story, Red and The Juggernauts saw her getting some strong independent storylines, Bang Bang a Boom some more laughs and Thicker than Water sees the baton being well and truly passed between Evelyn to Mel. It has been a refreshing ride to see her character grow.


During the Survival-Rose hiatus what was your favourite Doctor Who?

1) Big Finish Adventures - 53%
2) The Books - 33%
3) The TV Movie - 13%
Last Place - the DWM comic strip - no votes


Which of these producers of Doctor Who did you think did the best job? (I know I completely forgot Graeme Williams who is one of my faves!)

1) Russell T Davies - 36%
2) Barry Letts - 26%
3) Verity Lambert - 21%
4) Philip Hinchcliffe - 15%
No votes - John Nathan-Turner

Poor old JNT - still languishing in poll hell when he produced some of the best ever Doctor Who (the best ever Doctor Who story if DWM is anything to go by) and kept the show alive much longer than it had any right to. I am very pleased to see seasoned professional Barry Letts so high up on the list because I suspected Hincliffe would have won by a landslide majority. Good old RTD - well deserving first place, writer and producer extrordinaire.


Which of these stories is the funniest?

1) City of Death - 55%
2) The Romans - 33%
3) The Unicorn and the Wasp - 11%

No votes: The Gunfighters, The Underwater Menace, Carnival of Monsters, Warriors of the Deep, Timelash,
Time and the Rani and Boom Town

Nice to see that nobody went for the unintentionally funny stories - although I have to be honest that when I feel like a good belly laugh I do stick on Warriors of the Deep or Time and the Rani sometimes. What I would actually coin the funniest story however, on its merits of having a funny script and some genuinely good comic performances and tone is The Romans and The Gunfighters, both of which see Hartnell at his adorable best. Odd how The Romans was the runaway winner for about 2/3 of the week and suddenly City of Death had a huge surge of votes at the last minute!

Singularity written by James Swallow and directly by Gary Russell

What’s it about: Russia, the near future. The Somnus Foundation knows the fate of mankind; they promise a tomorrow where humanity will evolve into a godlike form of infinite power. They will lead us there, to a destiny that spans the stars. This is how the future will unfold. The Doctor knows the fate of mankind; the human race is destined to fight and struggle for their very existence, to survive disaster and war and carve an empire from an unforgiving universe. He has seen it with his own eyes. This is how the future will unfold. Beneath the towering headquarters of the Somnus, in the streets of Moscow a dark power is building, and a conspiracy that stretches across eternity is nearing completion. Time is fracturing and the Doctor and Turlough are at the heart of the chaos. History is about to change ¤ and the galaxy will burn in its wake...

An English Gentleman: I really like the audio relationship that has developed between the Doctor and Turlough despite the fact that in 76 releases we have only had 3 stories featuring them. It’s also great to move away from both Peri and Erimem and Nyssa for a releases and to have an all male release that is a rarity in Doctor Who. What I really enjoy about Peter Davison’s performances in Big Finish productions is how h really seems to understand the material and with a script as dense and detailed as Singularity you need a strong actor in the central role to give the ideas some meaning and Davison does this superbly. Whilst he is excellent throughout he aces the last scene which is a landmark moment for the Doctor, finally putting the human race to rest. Landing in Russia the Doctor admits they are hardly going to let him back in the Kremlin after what he did last time (ooh intriguing, can we learn more please?). Moscow and he are old friends. When recognised he says he has one of those faces and you could say that he deal with the futures market. The peculiarity of being a time traveller and exposures to the energies of the temporal vortex makes you more sensitive to time rifts. Described as having smug self importance and callous disdain (surely that’s the seventh Doctor?) and that he cannot stop himself from interfering. The Doctor will be punished a billion times over for his betrayal of the human species – now that perked up my attention early on. What on Earth could he have done? When searching for him on the internet odd hits pop up with his alias online. He hates bearing bad news. The Doctor is the furthest thing from an authority figure you are ever likely to meet. He has a family of sorts but every time one of them leaves he ages a few centuries. A slave to his nature? Sometimes he can hear the TARDIS whispering to him. His fifth is described as one his more passive personas! At the end of part three Davison sounds positively pained as he screams ‘You’re killing my ship!’ All of mankind will be his executioner because the Time Lords are responsible for the ultimate death of mankind. Turlough asks if fate is cast in stone why does the Doctor bother to stop and get involved? Only the broad strokes are laid down, it’s the moments between the ticks of the clock where life truly thrives and they can make a difference. Quietly telling the last of humanity to sleep is an awesome moment of quiet intensity. In sharp contrast with Scaredy Cat’s lousy characterisation of the Doctor this handling of his character is very elegantly handled and gives Davison some fantastic opportunities to show what he is capable of.

The Boy with the Eyebrows: An awesome showing for Turlough as well, once against being afforded development on audio he was denied on TV (where he was just shoved in the background and told to act suspiciously). He can’t sleep through a landing and wonders if just for a change it would be nice to ignore these passing stops (I especially love his casual disdain that they have landed on the Earth again). He hates being cold and asks himself if it would too much to ask for a tropical beach with pretty girls (never fear Turlough…Lanzarote and Peri are on the way!). Everywhere they land there is always a damsel in distress waiting to appeal to his better nature and like everybody knows he always tries to fight that! Turlough takes considerable exception to being called English! He is sick of being the Doctor’s passenger and not being warned of the dangers. Showing what a softie he really is, Turlough is particularly good at claming Lena down just by being honest with her, he admits he knows how loneliness feels and like his romance in Loups-Garoux he gets quite close to her. The Doctor never knows what he is thinking which is what makes him such an interesting travelling companion. He isn’t a hero on moral high ground but he does make a convincing argument for not altering the past. Turlough has a cruel streak and has something of the wolf in him (a nice touch of Loups-Garoux there). I loved his admission that had it been one of his family that he could have saved he would have gone but Lena is a better person than him, its great that he is not only a flawed character but an openly flawed one. He hasn’t seen that much of the universe and spits at the idea of being told he looks human saying maybe it’s the human race that looks like that of Trion! ‘Where is the temporal vessel?’ ‘Sod off!’ – come on you’ve gotta love this guy! A ruthless solution is Turlough all over, t
he Doctor would think of something clever but Turlough just smashes his way to freedom! Turlough is more human than Tev will ever be, he tells him to look into his mind where he can see all the friends he’s lost, how he was torn from his home world and family, all the pain and torment and murder and destruction he has been subjected to. He wishes that sometimes the Doctor would just leave things alone but it is commented that actually he might be more like the Doctor than he thinks. People praise both Phantasmagoria and Loups-Garoux for giving Turlough superb material and it is true but for my money his best characterisation is under James Swallow’s steady hand, this story reveals more about his character than his entire tenure in the series.

Standout Performance: I thought both Natasha Radiski and Max Bollinger gave excellent performances as Lena and Pavel, in stark contrast to Scaredy Cat’s vacant characters here were two people caught up in events that we could really care about.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘Time doesn’t care about us. It doesn’t care about the lives of the little people. Big events, all that history rolls down like an avalanche and we get crushed underneath. You push time. Time pushes back.’
‘I can’t die in the past!’ ‘Yes it would be a terrible faux pas!’
‘Its still our hate that keeps us warm after all these years.’
‘Sleep…’

Great Ideas: I should point out the cover which is absolutely beautiful and one of my favourites. Many cultures predict the end of the world, the Somnus Foundation know the future of man, they wish to turn us into our own Gods and be at one with the stars. The Somnus predict an invasion of the Earth in the 22nd Century by machine creatures. A time fracture is forming, the formation of a branch point where history is about to diverge off its established path. The Somnus take what you were and keeps it alive and breathing on the Earth but everything that made you a person is relocated – a new tenant moves into your body and you are displaced forever. Ember is the Earth as nothing but ashes, the stars all dead except for the last sun but that is fading now. Entropy has come, the death of the universe. November 30th was Moscow’s worst storm for 30 years and the night Lena’s mother died. Now the Doctor has brought her back she wants to stop what happened. The Somnus are looking to create a group consciousness, to implement the death of identity and total instrumentality. All life of Earth will be shifted from the physical to the meta form. Family makes you make decision you never normally would, Lena committed euthanasia on her mother to end her cancerous suffering and she never told Alexi. I found Pavel’s death quite upsetting because he was a likable guy who we had gotten close to, somebody caught up in the wake of events (take note, Scaredy Cat!). When Time Lords die it is not a peaceful death. The Sleepers choose this time zone to create their singularity because these are the last days of Earth as mankind’s cradle. Soon new technologies will arise, space travel gets easier and humans will start colonising other worlds – they will be spread too thinly to create the singularity. The TARDIS is trapped in the event horizon, powering the singularity. The Sleepers are revealed to be humanity, the last descendants of mankind in a fleeing exodus. They were sentenced to death by the Time Lords, they knew the end of the universe was coming and they opened a gate to another realm leaving the humanity to perish. The conclusion is rooted in human drama to keep it real; Alexi forgives Lena for lying about their mother. The ancestors that the Sleepers so casually abused throw them back where they belong.


Audio Landscape: Another story off and another example of Gary Russell’s direction at its finest – there are a wealth of authentic sound effects that bring Russia to life with some assuredness. The voice of House, the TARDIS sounds like it is being put through the blender at the beginning, traffic teems on the streets, muzak in the Somnus building, aircraft cruising in the air (that’s really subtly done and adds nothing but some realism to the scene), birds squawking, church bells gone mad as the timeline divides, a coffee percolator burbling away, the screaming winds of Ember, a storm breaking with growling thunder, lightning streaks and sheeting rain, smashing a window, bullets whizzing through the air, a funfair, an explosion, rubble falling, electrics shorting, a building collapsing, Russian goes very silent in a eerie scene, Lena’s mental assault, the entire population of Moscow reaching out for the Doctor, the TARDIS screaming in dematerialisation pain, the Doctor and Turlough within the Singularity. Steve Foxon deserves much kudos for whipping up such an incredible atmosphere with his sound design.

Musical Cues: Foxon manages to provide a score, which is both quietly understated but also urgent when required.

Result: Often overlooked, Singularity has a substantial script and a top-notch production and is one of the strongest stories of late. James Swallow deserves kudos for not only providing a fresh new setting but also a cast of interesting, sympathetic guest characters and a wealth of deft concepts to play about with. There is some sublime material for both the Doctor and Turlough and Davison and Strickson once again make an intriguing all male team. The concept of the last of humanity heading into the past and changing their future is one that has been borrowed in the new series but it is not handled with half the audacity or conviction that it is here. This is precisely the sort of layered, confident storytelling Big Finish told far more regularly in its first 50 releases, these days it has to be a huge lurch from the norm to produce something this good. A welcome reminder of how good these audio dramas can be: 9/10

Artwork by Simon Hodges @ http://hisi79.deviantart.com/

Scaredy Cat written by Will Schindler and directed by Nigel Fairs

What’s it about: "Yaranaa - it means literally, 'the soul of the vengeful' - those whose lives have been cut short early and died with empty hearts" Millennia ago, the people of the planet Caludaar pledged never to set foot on their sister planet Endarra. But what secrets does the planet hold? There are laws even the Doctor won't break. And while C'rizz learns that some tragedies can't be averted, Charley must decide who the enemy actually is. For death walks on Endarra, and this time she won't be denied.

Breathless Romantic: Just one leap back into his own universe and the eighth Doctor (after a dazzling showing in Terror Firma) now sounds more bored than ever (but then with an adventure this unengaging who can blame him). Unfortunately there are a handful of stories where Paul McGann cannot bring himself to bring any enthusiasm to the role (Creed of the Kromon was another…can you spot the others?) but he isn’t given any exciting dialogue or surprising moments – in fact at the conclusion he sounds so uninterested about allowing an entire civilisation to be wiped out. His relationship with C’rizz lacks any sparkle whatsoever and when they are shoved together it almost sounds as though both McGann and the Doctor resents having him around! The sooner this lot disband and Lucie comes on the scene the better! As proud as the Doctor is of the TARDIS garden you cannot beat the real thing. He has given evil some thought in his time and cites the Daleks and the Cybermen as the worst examples. These days the Doctor has a more organic view of the timelines. He wants to teach C’rizz to ski and it’s a crying shame we couldn’t listen to that instead because it would probably be more interesting.

Edwardian Adventuress: No I’m sorry but I can’t remember Charley being in this. Was she the one who was shoved in cold storage with a serial killer?

Chameleonic Rogue: Listening to The Maltese Penguin before Scaredy Cat was a huge mistake because it reminded me of how wonderful Frobisher was (so much so I actually pulled out the Voyager graphic novel last night and started reading some of his fantastic adventures) but it also highlights how flavourless C’rizz is in comparison. I don’t understand how the Utermizen can get so worked up about the Doctor dismissing the fate of a community that is to succumb to a biological weapon when he admitted in at the end of the last story that he has murdered (sorry saved) a whole handful of people in the past (and doesn’t plan to stop!). Do the writers swap notes between stories or does this confirm my fear that there wasn’t a script editor at this point. I bet Conrad Westmaas is a right laugh but playing this insipid, unstimulating character you would never be able to tell.

Sparkling Dialogue: ‘Blue tits!’ ‘Is that a Gallifreyan term of abuse?’

Great Ideas: The TARDIS gardens are the Doctor’s pride and joy and yet he once let an entire incarnation slip by without trimming the bougainvilleas. Two planets that almost destroyed themselves in war and vowed to protect the sanctity of their sister planets. ‘Principles should be seen and not heard.’ Have you ever considered the nature of evil, it springs from a nexus point, a moment of decision, split second where the balance between good and evil is tipped the wrong way. Have they been playing God on an unknown world? If you are going to open Pandora’s Box you have to be prepared to take the consequences (yes it does get that dull). Morphic resonance is the theory of collective memory throughout nature; the memories are held in a morphagenic field and is passed on to each new generation of life. The Doctor pops back to Endara 4 million years ago where they are being wiped out by a passing battle fleet that used them as a testing ground for a biological weapon. The planet was raped and it never forgot and it actualised itself in the form of Galena. Flood abducted and murdered ten people and for no reason I can determine now has an affinity with the planet and can bend nature to his will and the most he does is force primitives to kill each other.

Audio Landscape: Dripping water, sheep baaing, people laughing, birdsong, a ship crashing, blaster fire, siren, simians screaming, walking on stone, thunder grumbling, the ‘contact’ sound, groaning plague victims.

Music: I don’t remember there being any music and I certainly didn’t write any notes on it – which has never happened before in 75 main range releases.

Isn’t that Odd: How does a 75-minute story split into 101 tracks? Some of them are only 11 seconds long! Oddly the story doesn’t bother setting up its characters it simply jumps straight into the plot without getting us close to anybody. Why did they choose Linda Bartram to play the little girl…she must be 30 – why not simply get a little girl to play the part? The first cliffhanger doesn’t spring from the story; it is a shoehorned moment of danger that isn’t needed. It feels as though this was originally a much longer script that was castrated because it was so mind numbingly dull they wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. The second cliffhanger is equally as baffling, some chap says ‘Well hello my dear’ to Charley despite the fact that we don’t who he is or even if poses a threat. ‘Because I’m a political activist!’ admits Flood as if that’s all we need to know about his character. The big twist of the story is that Flood genuinely is a psychotic mass murderer, which we have been told over and again already (only Charley has been duped and its hardly the first time). ‘I’ll make them sing with pain before I finish!’ – why go for the revenge motive, it’s the only thing that could make this yawn fest even more tedious. C’rizz the killer pops out at the end of the story after judging the Doctor as heartless! Who is Flood? What does he stand for? Why did he kill people? Why does he want revenge on the sister planet? The conclusion as Flood is beaten down by a hail of ‘Scaredy Cat’ chants is rubbish – what the hell was the point of that saying anyway? All Floods’ evil is washed away and he is left like a newborn baby, this story is so moronic it borrows an idea from the similarly dull season 18 opener.

Result: This is the first time a story has been so monotonous I was left completely apathetic by the experience and found it a chore to write the review. At 75 minutes long this should be a snazzy, fast paced science fiction thriller but instead all we get is an anonymous bunch of characters (we literally know nothing about them) rehashing the plot of The Twilight Kingdom (except with even more stagnant dialogue). It’s further proof that with a script that is lacking, Charley and C’rizz (and their performers) lack the ability to bring some life to the story (in the way Evelyn or Lucie would). Paul McGann sounds like he has been hypnotised and delivers his dialogue in such a banausic fashion there is no doubt he is as bored as we are. Scaredy Cat leaves no impression on me whatsoever except I wasted a sunny morning inside listening to it. It worries me that Big Finish’s lows are so bad at this point and so frequent: 2/10

Buy this from Big Finish here: http://www.bigfinish.com/75-Doctor-Who-Scaredy-Cat

The Maltese Penguin written by Rob Shearman and directed by Gary Russell

What’s it about: It was just another quiet day on the mean streets for Frobisher, private eye. But then a dame walks into his office and into his life. A dame who is drop dead gorgeous and drop dead deadly, offering him a case he just can't refuse. Well, he could refuse it. If he really wanted to. But he has to pay the rent. When their paths cross, Frobisher finds himself involved in a web of mayhem and intrigue. A web of gangland killings, corrupt cops, sentient bloodstains, and very rude hotel receptionists. A web of murder and deceit, treachery and fisticuffs. That sort of web. You know. The sticky kind.

Fancy Flippers: I find it hard to imagine anybody hating Frobisher but I know there are people out there who really wont give him a chance simply because he is ‘just a cartoon character’. He’s as bold and brassy as the show itself and as imaginatively conceived as the TARDIS with a great, cynical attitude and a heart of gold. He’s no Albert Einstein and no one gives a fig for what he says but he has his philosophical moments. A shamus, a snoop, the guy who forages through your trashcan and for the right money he’ll find all the answers. He left the Doctor three weeks ago because he was tired of playing second fiddle to him and because he thinks his travels in the TARDIS has turned him soft! Frankly, the Doctor cramps his style. As soon as the Doctor’s back is turned we discover he yearns to hop back in the ship again but his pride is getting in the way (bless him). He was in love once, long ago and he discovered it was for chumps because of Francine, his ex partner and ex wife. By day they would solve crime and by night they would be making whoopee! Frobisher adopts the Doctor’s body for this story because it is the easiest humanoid form to mimic. Being knocked out isn’t an occupational hazard anymore but more the chance to catch 40 winks! You don’t need a steady grasp of economics on 12 Muzumbas a day. He’s not a hero; he’s a private eye and not very good one at that. Francine tells him he is better than the cynical private eye he pretends to be. He has stayed a penguin all these years to remind him of his wife. He steps back into the TARDIS at the end of the story for more adventures in time and space! Yippee!

Softer Six: The comic strip sixth Doctor is such a delightful character love these little forays into his life in print. Frobisher admits he employed the Doctor as his assistant on many occasions and almost considered giving him full time employment! The Doctor pops back to see Frobisher after 3 weeks of being apart and attempts to boast about all the wonderful things he has been up to when its clear he is desperate to ask the Whifferdill to come travelling with him again. Stuck in his shape Frobisher wonders how the Doctor manages to run up and down so many corridors with such a aerodynamically challenged body! He keeps popping back throughout the story to ask Frobisher is he has changed his mind and glumly realises he is having a ball on his latest case. He’s lonely and misses him. With the Doctor it is only interesting when people start trying to kill you.

Standout Performance: It is worth listening to The Maltese Penguin just to hear Colin Baker’s astonishingly funny cod American accent!

Sparkling Dialogue: The script is littered full of little noir-ish gems but my favourites were the typically witty Rob Shearman moments…
Amongst Dogbolter’s art collection is ‘an original John Ridgeway!’
‘A very smart bomb indeed!’
‘Imagining is unprofitable at least without a feasibility study!’
‘I think this could be the continuation of a beautiful friendship!’

Great Ideas: The Doctor has saved the universe twice since they parted whilst Frobisher has rescued a missing cat! Alicia wants Frobisher to follow her cheating fiancé – she knows Greengrax is sleeping with another woman. Dogbolter is so rich and powerful he’s practically unknown despite pulling the financial strings on thousands of worlds. He’s half man, half frog – one dangerous hybrid! I love the scene when Frobisher is pushed off the cliff and he has to morph into something to save his life
– what else but a penguin! Imagine if this had been on the telly… we would witnessed Colin Baker snogging Alicia! Dogbolter uses the Chief of Police to find Alicia and then terminates his employment. Dogbolter is rich because he maintains the monopoly on all businesses and he doesn’t produce anything on this planet – that way things can stay as they are. If something was created they could inspire anything’s and where would his profits be then? Dogbolter shoots his henchman just to prove what happens when people have no information! Alicia set this whole thing up so Dogbolter went after the ‘something’ that had been created – there never was an Arthur Greengrax, it was her disguised as one of his workers. The something is simply a computer chip which Dogbolter cannot resist seeing what is on it. Turns out it is a joke to make his employees laugh, firing up their imaginations, talking, sharing ideas…soon they will be creating and eating into Dogbolter’s profits. Alicia turns out to be…Francine, Frobisher’s ex wife!

Audio Landscape: Telephone, cars honking, thunder rumbling, rain falling, diving into an alley and scaring a cat half to death, bubbling, police siren, cliff top scenes, seagulls, thunder, walking on shingle, kissy kissy noises, gun cocking, a ticking Muzumba coin, explosion, footsteps, tinkling ice in bourbon.

Musical Cues: One of my favourite David Darlington scores. He seems to be having an absolute blast creating a sleazy gumshoe score! The music gets very tense when Frobisher discovers Greengrax’s body. Alicia gets a delicious sax theme all of her own. I love the use of the tambourine to create suspense and the low piano stings. The harmonica theme at the end of the story is one of my favourite pieces of music from any Big Finish stories, speaking of both love and friendship and rounding things off beautifully.

Standout Moment: I loved the reveal about Francine and Frobisher’s touching decision to leave her and travel with the Doctor. It made me go ‘aww.’

Result: Another superb Frobisher story, charming and witty with just the right dash of whimsy to make this a good time. What a shame that The Holy Terror sold so badly (especially since it is still a range highlight after all these years) because Frobisher is far more likable than practically any of the Big Finish companions and the storytelling possibilities with a shape shifter are endless. There’s nothing too deep going on here but it’s a gorgeous love letter to the comic strips and a great slice of comic noir to boot. Colin Baker and Robert Jezek excel: 8/10